Self Conclusion
by Morbidlyartistic
Summary: We were only two people who had reached an understanding though we were complete strangers. Two people who had stood on the edge of everything one to many times. Two people who would have to learn to rely on each other for survival.
1. Title Page

_**Self Conclusion**_

"Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion

Of self conclusion in one simplified motion

You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it

No matter how unbearable this misery gets"

~The Spill Canvas


	2. Prologue

Prologue-

Shaun Kenneth never let them see her cry. Not once. She was curled in a ball on her large bed, fingers tangled in her hair, streaks on her face, and hopelessness etched in every line and feature. Her frame shook with silent sobs as she removed one hand to touch her cheek. It throbbed from the previous abuse, red, there to remind her that she was inadequate. Her blue gaze settled on the closed door. Any minute Mattie would come find her.

Taking a ragged breath she straightened and stood. Shakily she moved toward her water basin. Staring into the china bowl she wondered why she allowed this. Countless times she reassured herself it was for Mattie, Mattie's safety, but there was no confirmation they'd hurt him if she disappeared. They used threats constantly and a vast majority was empty.

Grasping the pitcher's handle she poured warm water out sighing when she watched her hands slip underneath the ripples. Cupping them she splashed away her sorrow. Snatching a small towel she dried her face into a mask and stumbled to her vanity. Turning her head to either side she noticed the redness had faded.

The mirror was her worst enemy for it always reflected what she didn't want to see.

A broken will, dull eyes, and sullen face.

Numbly she began to apply make up to strengthen her facade. Undoing her bun she brushed her hair and twisted the waves into an orderly style. A few tears were visible in her sleeves, not unusual. She picked a soft pink dress and was changed by the time she heard Mattie pounding up the stairs. A smile appeared and with a quick check of her appearance she maneuvered to the door. It swung open before she reached it and a small boy launched himself into her arms. She hugged him close burying her face in his hair. He smelled like grass, cookies, and their dog Badger.

"Shaun!" he groaned shoving her away. "Ya almost suffocated me!" she smirked ruffling his dark brown hair.

"Sorry." He smiled and grabbed her hand tugging her past the threshold. "Where are we going?" she asked, Badger running ahead barking in excitement.

"To the park!"

"You love the park don't you?"

"Who doesn't?" she chuckled. As he released her hand to jump off the third step to the bottom Shaun paused. Her mother and Mattie's governess, Mrs. Forbes, stood at the door as if expecting them. She noticed her mother's sweeping gaze to make sure Shaun had covered up their disagreement. Her eyes snapped back to Mattie when she saw no indication of the scuffle.

"Matthew," her mother began, "Shaun can't go to the park today." Mattie crossed his arms.

"Why not!" he complained receiving a disapproving glare from Mrs. Forbes.

"We don't talk back now do we Matthew?" he ducked his head his arms tumbling to his sides.

"Yes Mrs. Forbes."

"Your sister and I are going to a dinner party tonight, but Mrs. Forbes will take you to the park." It was obvious Mrs. Forbes was the last person Mattie wanted to go to the park with. Sighing he shook his head.

"No, I don't want to go anymore." He shuffled off toward the back yard before either could change his mind. Shaun watched after him her happiness dissipating.

"Mother!" she said her eyes becoming slits. "Why can't I take Mattie to the park?"

"Because I said so." She responded her voice clipped.

"Miss Shaun we do not talk back to our elders." Mrs. Forbes corrected placing her hands on her hips.

"Be quiet Forbes; I'm eighteen I do not need you to tell me what I do or don't do." She gasped at her disrespect as Shaun marched off the stairs and brushed past her. Stopping in front of her mother she felt the sting of her hand.

"You will do as I say Shaun! I remember teaching you obedience!" Shaun bit her lip wanting to scream wanting to hit her back. The only thing she had ever taught her was the pain of abuse. The sensation of a punch, the feel of blood.

"I can take him and be back in time," another slap. "Mom," one more. She bit back her tears noticing Mrs. Forbes had left.

"Matthew is not going to the park today and you are going to your room until I call for you."

"I will not." She grabbed her collar pulling her close. Shaun had always marveled at her strength.

"Every day Shaun, every day I regret giving birth to you. I should have thrown myself down steps, anything to ensure you wouldn't be born." She could hear the sincerity in her voice, see the hate plastered on her face. She heard it every time. How much she regretted her birth, how much she hated her, how she wished she could kill her. "You are so incredibly worthless in every way except one, and that's marriage. You're lucky I'm allowing you to live, that your father is allowing you to live, because if it weren't for the fact that we could marry you off and make some money and up our status you'd be thrown over the Brooklyn Bridge." When Shaun was eight she used to tell herself she wasn't worthless that her mother and father would one day realize they loved her. She remembered fantasying about birthday parties and friends.

The only thing they ever gave her were bruises and finishing school.

Now she believed every word she said. The only purpose she served was keeping Mattie from becoming their next human punching bag. Shaun swallowed as she released her; watching a slow smile plaster her usual unhappy face. "You're just like him, your father I mean, stubborn." Shaun could see a momentary flash of pain and then with another slap for good measure she sauntered away.

Her real father wasn't James Kenneth but an Irish man that worked at the shipyards, or so she had been told. His name had been Shaun but she never learned his surname. No doubt her mother wanted to keep him away from her keep her from having somewhere to escape.

A part of Shaun believed he was dead; But the mention of his name, or where he was sent my mother into a rage. A possible confirmation he was not. It baffled her that she named her after a man she refused to acknowledge. Turning she entered her room and returned to the bed. Shuddering as she allowed worthless to sink into the other insults. Ugly, disrespectful, ungrateful, waste of time, should be dead, then she shot up. _You'd be thrown over the Brooklyn Bridge_. At that moment it all made sense. Shaun was sure as she glanced outside at the fading sun that Mattie would be fine. There had to be love for him from at least James considering he was his real son, even her mother had to love him. It was Shaun who they hated, her who ruined everything, her who should be dead. If her mother wanted to throw her over the Brooklyn Bridge she'd save her the trouble. They'd finally broken Shaun Kenneth's will, steered her to the edge. Now all she had to do was jump off. Death was easy that she was positive. There was nothing anchoring her to this life. Without her they wouldn't have to be angry anymore. It was nine o clock when she snuck downstairs. Her parents' voices floated toward her from the study as she crept past.

"James we're already an hour late!"

"I understand that Beth," he sighed miserably. "Just, go get that child and we'll leave." Quickly Shaun tugged open the door and ran. She ignored how heavy her skirts were, how tight the corset was, her breathing came out in rasps but she refused to stop. _Just a little bit closer_ she told herself as she saw the frame loom from the distance. _Thank God_. She stumbled onto the bridge snatching the rail as she caught her breath. If she suffocated now she hoped someone would chuck her off the side. Pausing once she reached the middle she grasped the bars staring over the edge. The dark water churned below as if lulling her to fall. The waves would swallow her up and Shaun Kenneth would cease to exist. Exactly what she wanted, no second thoughts right?


	3. Manic Meetings

Chapter One- Manic Meetings

It was late afternoon when Spot finished selling. Business had been slow today and he sighed at his measly seventy five cents. Securing the change in his pocket and discarding the last ten papers on the street he charged toward the warehouse. He was determined to convince the owner that his boys were down on their luck and they'd only be able to pay half their rent. Gritting his teeth he wondered what he could possibly say to make losing out on a daily living easier. Each day he knew what it was like to barely make ends meet and the newsboys rent was part of Mr. Holland's income. By the time he reached his office he was intercepted by Patriot.

"Spot!" he exclaimed catching his breath.

"I have business, move."

"Spot this is important I just got word."

"What?" he snapped watching as Mr. Holland prepared to take rent.

"There's a meeting tonight, another one's gone." In a matter of seconds rent became insignificant. Spot grabbed his forearm and dragged him toward a set of crates.

"Who?"

"He's been gone for a few weeks apparently, but Manhattan didn't want to say."

"_Who_?" He repeated his voice rising.

"Racetrack." Spot released him heading toward the bridge.

"Spot?" He grabbed his seventy five cents and slapped it in his hand.

"Pay Holland, keep charge, and when everyone gets back tell them no going out."

"But-"

"I'm not playin' Patriot, if I hear any of ya left the warehouse punishment will be had." He jogged to keep up as Spot's speed increased. Racetrack had been a good friend he'd known him since the beginning, and if Manhattan was being affected it was serious now. Brooklyn had yet to have losses but as days passed Spot knew it was only a matter of time.

"Fine." Patriot left leaving Spot to his thoughts, to his mounting anger. Whoever this sick bastard was he'd find him and he'd pay.

Manhattan lodging house was packed. All borough leaders had been summoned including outraged newsboys who had lost someone, a good friend, a sibling, and now Spot was among them. Stepping into the room he beat a few aside with his cane. Jack was standing on Kloppman's desk holding his arms out, Falcon, Queens leader, and Hell Raiser, Harlem's leader, on either side glaring into the crowd.

"Brooklyn's here!" Snipeshooter announced and immediately the room fell into silence. Spot eyed David and Les and shook his head; he'd never been attuned to the idea of David joining ranks. He stopped in front of Jack. The Manhattan leader jumped down spitting in his hand. Spot mimicked him and then did the same with Falcon and Hell Raiser.

"I heard, what else happened?"

"Nothing new no one knew that Race had been taken, no one saw or heard anything." Kid Blink stated shaking his head in disbelief. "Race had always been tough; I can't believe he was snatched." Spot ignored his last comment.

"I've lost twenty boys," Falcon yelled, "There will be no Queens newsies at the rate we're disappearin' I'm waitin' for my turn." There were murmurs about the crowd.

"That's nothin' compared to Harlem. We're practically extinct, come diggin' around our town and I bet you'll find all the loss's fossils." The boys attempted strained laughter but there was no humor in Hell Raiser's comment. Newsboys were disappearing everywhere in New York, it seemed nowhere was safe.

"I can't believe no one has noticed." David added squeezing Les's shoulder who was clearly upset about Race.

"We're nobodies that's why." Spot snapped gripping his cane. "They don't care about nobodies, they don't help nobodies." David stared his eyes wider than before.

"You haven't lost anyone right Spot?" Jack inquired kneading a loose end of his shirt.

"That's right, and I don't intend to."

"You callin' us irresponsible leaders?" Hell Raiser demanded standing from his sitting position.

"I'm not callin' anyone anything." Spot replied coolly.

"Sounds like ya are." Hell Raiser stepped closer. Spot smiled prepared for a fight; One of his favorite past times. Jack stepped between them hoping to end the sudden tension.

"Come on guys, this is serious. Most of the boroughs are out newsies."

"And not just newsies, friends!" a small Harlem newsie chimed wiping his eyes.

"It ain't just us," Mush said stepping down from his place on the stairs, "It's prostitutes and sweatshop kids."

"Nobodies." Spot emphasized. He turned toward the door feeling as if their conversation had reached a dead end.

"Where do ya think you're goin' Conlon?" Hell Raiser snapped.

"Home, this is pointless. I ain't gonna stop my boys from sellin' we need money, and I know you all need money; there's nothin' we can do about this. I won't let my boys be homeless."

"And I won't let mine be murdered!" Raiser countered.

"Who said anything about murder?" David replied leaving Les in Mush's care as he approached the two. Spot glared in his direction before turning his back on Raiser.

"Spot, we can't let our boys live in fear, we have to provide some type of security." Jack pleaded. Spot shrugged as he stood in the doorway.

"Dream on Jackey boy, security is hard to find these days." He didn't wait for a reply instead he exited the building as fast as he entered. A part of him felt that the boys should have come up with a solution or known who it was that was stealing the nobodies off the streets, but they were just as clueless as the bulls who refused to notice. It was every man for himself and Spot was determined to make sure his boys remained safe, determined to find whoever was doing this.

"Spot if ya find something tell me." He jerked around to see Jack had followed him.

"What would I know?"

"I've seen ya birdies everywhere."

"That means nothing."

"Spot." His blue eyes pierced into Jack's brown.

There was only hopelessness and defeat reflecting back and Spot wouldn't allow that. He had watched too many give up hope, too many lose the battle of survival and he didn't want to see anyone think that way, but they were all pawns in a game they didn't know they were playing. Slowly Spot began to feel his determination not to be defeated fade.

"Okay." Jack seemed satisfied and turned trudging slowly back to the lodging house. Back to a group of boys wanting answers and he only had questions.

Spot clenched his fists as he traveled the familiar streets toward the bridge. What could he do? How could he fix this? He was the King of Brooklyn, infamous, and when the newsboys needed him most he couldn't succeed, couldn't provide. It was a leader's job and it seemed Spot wasn't cut out for it anymore.

As he stepped onto the bridge that connected Brooklyn and Manhattan he stared out over the railings. What would happen if he decided to jump? What would happen if Spot disappeared? Would it make a difference? As his eyes scanned the water they rested on a slim figure. They were standing shakily on the railing their arm wrapped around one of the posts. The other was hanging loosely by their side. Surprised he moved closer noticing it was a girl. It seemed he wasn't the only one who had considered disappearing.

**A/n: So I wanted to wait to post chapters until I was completely done writing this story, but I've actually been dedicating a lot of time to it. I thought with working full time and school I wouldn't be able to but it seems I was wrong. There's more chapters awaiting for you guys, but I felt like I should post these two first. I've been dying to see if any of you like the new way I've decided to write this, it may not be enough for a decision but I can say I honestly think it's improved. **

**As you can see it's basically the same chapters, mostly the same conversations, but with a little more meat and what I consider better writing. And a order of events. **

**If you guys want more then I'll post chapter two. Can't wait for reviews! **

**~Morbidlyartistic  
**


	4. Simplified Notions Became Complicated

Chapter Two- Simplified notions became complicated

Shaun could feel the dampness of her clothes. She wasn't particularly sure of what it was that drenched her. It could be sweat, or tears, but she did know she felt numb. Shaun Kenneth was standing on the edge of everything she had been and everything she was and it was time to make a decision. If she stepped down and held herself back she'd return to abuse, to worthlessness. Life would move on without change until she was married to a man who most likely would treat her the same, but death; death was different.

When Shaun killed herself it was darkness, flames, or paradise. Nothing would be unchanging and if it weren't she would be unaware. She knew she was being selfish she knew what Mattie would say, _"I hate you Shaun!"_ she wouldn't blame him. He'd hate her for leaving him, hate her for not being there to take him to the park, and as she thought about it she couldn't live with him hating her, but she wouldn't have to. "I love you Mattie." She whispered as she extended her arm and tilted her chin to the sky. The stars were hazy behind the lights and smoke and as she began to unwrap her other arm she wished she could have seen them once.

"Stop." Automatically she tightened her grip against the pole. Taking a deep breath she turned to see who had caught her.

His brown hair framed his face, his gaze weary as he studied her. Slowly her extended arm fell to her side as she watched him move closer.

"Why?"

"This is my territory and I don't feel like fishing your body out of the water later." He grumbled his hands kneading a gray cap captured in his fist.

"That's comforting." She responded not bothering to mask her shaking voice.

"I hope you're not lookin' for sympathy." He snapped his tone cold. Shaun cringed as she returned her gaze to the water. She didn't want sympathy; she wanted an answer to all her problems.

"If you have no sympathy then keep walking, one dead body doesn't matter,"

"It does when it's on my territory now get down and find another bridge to end your life on." Shaun narrowed her eyes as he replaced the gray cap and shoved his hand in his pockets. He made it sound as if her decision of suicide seem nonchalant and ridiculous.

She rarely considered what others thought, usually she jumped at an opportunity to do anything to shame her parents and as she slowly maneuvered her feet in the opposite direction she knew she was jumping down from the one thing that would anger her parents the most. Her boots met the cobble stone street and she sighed before turning to see the boy's blue gaze.

"This is the best bridge." She stated calmly her entire body shaking. It began to dawn on her of the decision she almost made and she felt ashamed.

"Who cares?" he said his eyes narrowing to match hers.

"I obviously cared." Shaun wasn't sure how many minutes they stared at each other but she enjoyed the moments.

This boy had pulled her back. She owed him everything yet she didn't have anything to give and by his expression he didn't want anything. Tears spilled over onto her cheeks and she quickly broke away from his glare. She placed a shaking hand over her mouth and attempted to repress her sobs.

Shaun Kenneth was still worthless, but now she couldn't say she never let anyone see her cry. As she pulled herself together she glanced back to the boy. Her eyes met his back as he moved swiftly toward Brooklyn. She took a deep breath and called to him. "What's your name?" he paused. Turning on his heel he studied her from afar before replying,

"Spot Conlon." He began walking backwards and she found herself smiling. Her hand subconsciously lifted itself into a wave.

"Thank you!" his features contorted into surprise.

"For what?"

"Saving me." He smirked turning now as his figure grew smaller. His fading voice echoed across the bridge.

"I didn't save you, you did. Welcome to reality." She stood and stared blankly at the place he once stood. Her smile seemingly permanently plastered to her face. Reality was a hard thing to face. Her thoughts ran rapid as she walked slowly home.

"Thanks for the self conclusion Spot." She whispered to herself as she entered her large house. Mattie was the first to greet her as she stopped in front of her door.

"Shaun! Where have you been?" he demanded wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Out Mattie."

"Mom and Dad are really mad." He mumbled into her stomach. She chuckled figuring as much as she bent eye level to him. Placing her fingers in his messy hair she smiled reassuringly.

"What's new huh?" he smiled.

"I'm glad you're back," he leaned over to hug her tightly around the neck. "I love you." Shaun could feel fresh tears as she hugged her brother tightly.

"Love you too Matt." He pulled away and dashed toward his bedroom Badger following eagerly.

"Shaun!" she heard her mother's shrill voice. Ignoring her parents she entered her room and locked the door. For once she didn't worry about the beating she'd receive tomorrow for disappearing, or for locking her door, she only thought about Spot and everything he'd done for her.

Falling onto her plush bed she wondered if she'd ever see the Brooklyn boy again. Closing her eyes to the shrieks and the constant pounding she knew she wouldn't see him again. They were two people who had reached an understanding though they were complete strangers. Two people who had stood on the edge of everything one too many times.

The door came down before Shaun was ready for it too. It had been one of the best nights of her life to have complete privacy. Now as she felt someone's fingers tangle in her hair she realized it had come to an end.

"You horrid disgusting child!" she heard her mother's voice as she chucked her on the floor. A quick kick to the ribs woke her completely. Cringing she hugged herself into the fetal position preparing for more blows. "You've lost the privilege of a door." She snapped trying for another kick. Shaun bit her lip hoping all sarcastic comments would disperse from her mind. The familiar iron taste of blood informed her she had bit too hard.

"Beth, step aside." Shaun's heart began to beat a mile a minute. If her father joined in then she would no doubt have visible bruises.

"No, James, we have an engagement today." Her mother piped up her statement rushed and jumbled. Slowly she moved her head to stare at her parents. They looked at her as if she was the most vile thing on earth, a look she saw every day.

"You're lucky," he smirked reaching forward and snatching the matted chunk of her auburn hair. Yanking her upward she suppressed a cry. "But if you misbehave _Shaun_," he emphasized her name his breath warm on her face. "I'll make sure you walk with a limp." He released her and she stumbled into one of the four posts of her bed. James exited the room, gracefully stepping on the splintered door as he turned the corner.

"See what you make us do?" her mother began gesturing toward the ruined furniture. "Every day Shaun, every day I don't understand why I hadn't drowned you at birth." _Me too_ Shaun thought keeping her eyes on the carpet. "Get dressed we're leaving soon." As her mother left she called for a maid. In a matter of seconds Juliette hurried in. Her nervous eyes darted about the room before resting on Shaun's rumpled demeanor.

"Good mornin' miss." She mumbled moving around the door. "Let me get this out of your way."

"Don't worry about it Juliette, Harold will take care of it." Shaun responded attempting to ignore her expression of pity. "Could you help me get dressed please?" dropping the corner she had retrieved she moved to her side.

"Of course miss." Shaun halfheartedly passed her the corset and grabbed the back of her vanity chair.

Juliette made quick work of the strings and the familiar feeling of shortness of breath swept over her. Shaun was still unaware why women were forced to wear corsets, or why they were fashionable. Gasping for air she instructed Juliette to pick a dress. "Where are you goin' miss?" she inquired opening the French style armoire.

"Some type of party." Juliette scanned the dresses before selecting a white empire waisted one. It had an emerald sash that wrapped around and slightly puffed sleeves. The back was somewhat longer than the front creating a train. Shaun recognized it as one of her mother's dresses a dress she had tried to dispose of when she married James, a dress that would send her into turmoil when she saw Shaun wearing it. Remembering her earlier confrontation she decided against warning Juliette.

"This is very pretty ain't so?" Juliette asked smiling at the soft fabric and silk sash. Shaun nodded meekly before releasing the chair. She helped her into it and buttoned the back, and then tied the sash into a large bow.

"Thanks so much, I can finish the rest. If you see Harold inform him of the door." Juliette curtsied and scurried from her room most likely relieved.

Shaun seated herself in front of the hated mirror and pondered how long Juliette would last. Most young maids hired that witnessed her abuse usually left within weeks. They couldn't stand watching, but they were unable to tell anyone.

Smiling Shaun finished applying make up and brushing her hair. She had twisted it into a messy bun leaving a few strands out in front. Her fingers brushed the jewel encrusted hair comb. Another item her mother had tried to rid of. Without a second thought she secured it in her bun and stood. Slipping on a pair of boots she climbed over the door and searched for Mattie. Descending the stairs she heard Badger and smiled.

"Mattie! Badger!" she called glancing down the entrance hall.

"Shaun!" she felt a pair of paws on her stomach and a set of arms encircled about her waist.

"Well thanks for the cheery welcome!" she laughed unhitching both from around her. It still confused her how such a dreary home could have two euphoric beings inhabiting it. "What's your plan for today?" she inquired taking his hand and leading him to the dining room.

"Hm, well I thought about the park but Dad asked me if I wanted to go to Sheepshed Races!"

"Oh, so that takes priority over the park?"

"Yeah yeah, I've always wanted to go it seems fun! And I love horses!"

"You love all animals don't you?" Mattie shrugged slipping his hands from hers and plowing ahead toward his seat. Platters of bacon and eggs were set about the table, along with toast, blueberry muffins, one of Mattie's favorites, and various drinks. Her father and mother were already situated. Mattie had his hands on the muffins and was currently loading his plate when she heard a gasp. Glancing toward her mother she smiled satisfied at her expression.

"Shaun Marie Kenneth," she whispered.

"Something wrong mother?" she held up her skirts swaying them back and forth.

"No, no." she wouldn't dare mention the significance of the dress and comb in front of James. _Payback_ Shaun thought, elegantly sitting next to Mattie.

"Here." he dropped two muffins on her plate. Shaun laughed and removed them.

"I'm not that hungry this morning, I think I'm just gonna have fruit, is that okay?" shrugging Mattie snatched her share.

"More for me!" he beamed as he sneakily slipped one to Badger. Pouring herself a cup of tea she shoveled a spoonful of strawberries, blueberries, and grapes on her plate. Her mother eyed her making sure Shaun caught her glares. She returned them with smiles not regretting her decision to dress up in the would be wedding clothes for her real father Shaun.

The party was dull as usual compiled of meaningless gossip and lingering smell of cakes and tea. Her mother lived for them. She dragged Shaun about to various circles hoping to integrate her daughter into the elite. It had been her sole purpose since Shaun had began her preparations for her debutante ball. Too bad she had too much of her _father's stubbornness and ignorance_ as her mother would scoff, for she never had been accepted.

"You remember my daughter, don't you Meredith?" her mother's pleading voice brought Shaun back from her daydreams. The old woman scowled before nodding curtly. Shaun smiled curtsying, playing her part like a pro, not that it'd do her much good. Lady Meredith had been at the ball.

"I'm afraid I do," she responded disapproval seeping from her tone. "How could I forget?" My mother tightened her grip nails digging into my skin. Beth laughed nervously, "Well so nice to see you again your ladyship, thanks for inviting us to this lovely party, so I heard-"

"Charmed." Lady Meredith excused herself disappearing into the crowd prepared to gossip.

"You're such a curse, I hate you infinitely, if only-"

"I know, kill me." She tugged Shaun's arm sharply unintentionally pushing her forward.

"Move over there." Beth directed her toward an uninviting cluster of women, inwardly Shaun groaned.

"Have you ever considered not bringing me?" Shaun suggested before they reached them.

"You know I need you married and out of the house, thank god you have at least one purpose to serve, or else I probably would have smothered you years ago." Shaun saw the disgusted glances and smirked. Her mother sighed loudly before turning Shaun to face her. "Go flirt with some men while I talk to these women." Relieved to be dismissed Shaun searched for an out.

Two French doors opened onto a small stone patio situated amongst a flower garden. It seemed unoccupied and thanking her higher power for her luck she made a beeline for it. The air smelled fresh with hints of the coming autumn.

Fall in New York City was one of her favorite times of year. Between the numerous colors of the leaves and the festivities around Halloween she couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Unfortunately it was still a couple of months till the green would become brown, orange, or red. She paused at the daisies and smiled placing her gloved fingers against the white petals.

"Beautiful aren't they?" she jerked upward surprised at the sudden voice. Clutching the skirts of her dress she turned to lock eyes with a young man. His dark hair was slicked backwards, a typical style, and chocolate brown eyes that held an untypical sincerity. Shaun's eyes trickled down from his handsome features to expensive sleek suit and polished shoes. Bowing at the waist he extended a hand toward her. Hesitantly she placed hers in his and smiling he lifted it to his lips.

"Joel Bennett," he introduced as she hastily pulled the hand he had kissed away. "May I inquire to your name?" His manors were of a well educated blue blood, no doubt from a prominent family. Shaun knew if her mother noticed she'd be thrilled.

"Shaun Kenneth," she curtsied stiffly, "Pleased to meet you Mr. Bennett." His eyes danced at the mention of her name and she wondered if he had known who she was all along.

"Ah," he folded his arms behind his back as he stepped between her and the daisies. "You are the infamous Shaun Kenneth?" she nodded tentatively. "I hear your name constantly."

"I'm sure I'm quite the topic."

"Indeed, quite an interesting one at that."

"I suppose I would be."

"Especially after your debutante ball." She chuckled moving on to a bush of pink roses.

"Oh yes I heard that was a top scandal gossiped about at tea." Joel grinned as he followed her.

"Not ashamed?" Shaun shrugged; she felt it was prudent to be honest.

"Not an ounce actually."

"Why is that?"

"Charles Caster is an idiot, and I'm surprised a woman who respects herself hasn't poured punch over him yet." She replied her voice holding a sense of superiority, and the tone not to be questioned.

"As much as I should denounce you for pouring punch over him, embarrassing him amongst a room full of nobility and other wealthy upper crust of society, I find I cannot." Shaun turned to him studying his face earnestly. She hoped to find a trace that he was lying but her search was futile. His eyes like before continued to hold sincerity and the same dancing brightness.

"Then you're among the very few of the _upper crust of society_ that does not focus on image." He released a hearty laugh before boldly taking her arm. He tucked it inside of his as they strolled across the small garden to a set of petunias.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked. Shaun attempted to pull her arm away but was unsuccessful.

"You are talking to me; I believe that's proof enough."

"I must admit I thought you only poured punch on Charles to gain attention and that you were just as shallow as your mother is."

"You thought wrong."

"I'm beginning to realize, I mean your mother was once a well respected woman, I believe she gains your disapproval for focusing on image?" Shaun refrained from commenting on her beliefs concerning her mother. Joel noticed her changed demeanor. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"I don't offend easily Mr. Bennett."

"Joel is what my friends call me." Shaun smiled.

"I find us acquaintances more than friends."

"Hm, than call me Joe, it's halfway and acquaintances is halfway to friends am I right?"

"I think you should leave before someone spy's us talking."

"Honestly, I could care less who see's us talking." He stopped them in front of the tulips. "But if you wish me to go so badly."

"I never said that Mr. Bennett."

"I thought we agreed on Joe?"

"I don't remember us agreeing on anything."

"Interesting, I don't remember us agreeing you could call me Mr. Bennett but it just happened, so why not call me Joe? And we can say it just... happened?" Shaun ignored him and continued.

"I don't want to see your reputation become soiled for associating with me." Joel's eyes dimmed and she clenched her teeth at his disapproving stare, something she suddenly hoped she'd never see again.

"Miss Kenneth I _wanted _to speak with you, can you believe that?"

"To anger your parents?"

"To add spice to my otherwise sugary life."

"Have I succeeded?"

"So far."

"Shaun," Both turned their gazes settling on a surprised Mrs. Kenneth and a stern Mrs. Boyle. "I've been searching for you everywhere." She noticed her mother tried unsuccessfully to keep the astonishment from her voice.

"Sorry I was admiring the garden with Mr- "

"Bennett, of course, so nice to meet you sir." Shaun became confused as her mother and Mrs. Boyle hurriedly curtsied.

"Pleased to meet you Mrs. Kenneth, pass my regards to your husband I look forward to our business meeting this week."

"Of course Mr. Bennett." Joel turned toward Shaun reaching for her hand. Subconsciously she placed hers in his and returned his smile.

"It was so wonderful to meet you; I hope we can see each other again?" Shaun made no reply as Joel replaced his warm hand with a hard stem of a daisy. She watched his retreating back and suddenly thought of Spot.

"How on earth," her mother began in a fierce whisper, "Did you get Joel Bennett to talk with _you_?" her fingers wrapped around her arm her nails fitting the same indents from before.

"I'm not sure, he found me."

"Impossible." She hissed snatching the daisy from Shaun's hands and discarding it. "How could he willingly talk to someone as worthless and unattractive as you?" Mrs. Boyle chuckled from behind as Beth steered her back into the sun room. "Besides I found the perfect man for you." Shaun's color drained from her cheeks as she caught the gaze of an older man. He was beginning to form wrinkles and his eyes were a steel gray that held every ounce of cold as if they were winter themselves. His thin lips were in a taut line and his hair was salt and pepper gray. She dug her heels into the wood floor and began pulling back.

"Who is _that_?" she questioned amazed her mother would consider someone like him.

"William Manchester is who that is and he's asked for your hand in marriage." She snapped tugging at her daughter's arm. "If you marry him your father's company will be saved from the Bennett's."

"What, the…" and suddenly she realized exactly who she had been speaking too. Joel Bennett was the youngest business man New York City had seen this year. He was rumored to be extremely intelligent only receiving the top notch education, something his family could of course afford.

The Bennett's were old money and not only had they remained extremely wealthy but very prominent. In fact Joel Bennett's mother had been nobility in England where she met the entrepreneur Randolph Bennett.

Shaun grasped her skirts in a sudden wave of vertigo. Joel Bennett, _the_ Joel Bennett, had wanted to speak with her, had wanted to see her again?

"Don't think you're going to marry Joel Bennett," her mother could always be counted upon to ruin a day dream. "He is way out of your league, thank goodness for Mr. Manchester." The introductions between herself and Manchester had been lost to Shaun's memory. She went along unaware of the conversation or her mother leaving.

"I suspect we should have a son as soon as possible." It was the words _have_ and _son_ that hurtled Shaun at light speed back to reality.

"Excuse me?" she responded automatically realizing that Manchester had been speaking for some time.

"A son, we should have one immediately, I have a lot of money and I'll be damned if it passes onto any of my eager relatives." He commanded nonchalantly taking a sip of wine. "My family will hate you by the way, not that you aren't used to ill affection, but I thought I might warn you anyway, I wish I wasn't as old as I am or else I could have found someone better, but considering your looks and the dowry your parents promised I can accept the arrangement." Shaun found herself increasingly offended at each word he had spoken and unable to control her emotions stood.

"However Mr. Manchester I cannot accept this arrangement, I'm eighteen years old and don't feel I should spend the rest of my life with someone such as yourself." She lifted her chin in defiance. "I understand my parents promised you that I should be your wife but I'm declining and I'm sure you'll find someone to suit your needs and old age, as well as someone who desires a child for I do not."

"I don't believe you have the authority to nullify our marriage." Manchester responded his voice as cold as his eyes. Shaun shivered and turned away. Each moment his inhumanity brightened as if it were a sun peeking over the horizon.

"I don't believe there was a marriage." She answered surprised she found the ability to speak.

"Your parents will force you."

"If you know anything about me Mr. Manchester I am not _forced_ to do anything." At the sound of heavy whispers Shaun realized that each had raised their voices and their conversation had been heard by the entire party.

"What an insolent woman you are," Manchester began moving from around the table. "I'm amazed that you can speak to a superior in such a tone, let me remind you of your place Miss Kenneth you are beneath me, worthless, nothing without a man, and you _will_ marry me and give me a son or I shall put you in your place." His threats barely pierced through Shaun's armor instead they prepared her for battle.

"I'm sorry did you say you were my superior?"

"I'm glad you can hear." Shaun beamed as she smoothed out her skirts.

"I may be a woman but I am not inferior to you sir, and considering that plain English is needed," There were a few gasps behind her but the one she was searching for made itself known.

"Shaun!" her mother shrieked attempting to push through the crowd. Before her mother could snatch her arm and apologize for her insolence she finished her sentence.

"Go to hell Mr. Manchester, Have a good day."

"My word!" Lady Meredith yelled turning to a group of women as Shaun swept away. Her hands were shaking as she dashed down the steps skirts in hand. She refused to wait for the carriage or for her mother.

It was a long walk to her home but it was time she needed to think. James Kenneth would get word of her behavior and she wondered if she'd still have limbs. A small pocket watch lingered underneath her corset secured to a gold chain. Slipping her hand inside she retrieved it checking the time. Soon Mattie would go to the park and then she'd get the beating of her life. Sighing she enjoyed the ability to walk and the fresh air pushing her punishment to the back of her mind.

**A/N: **

**BrennaBerr: aw, well Spot just gives tough love so to speak, haha, he's Brooklyn! he needs a tough demeanor. But I'm so happy you liked it, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much for your review! I appreciate it! **

**elleestJenn: Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoy it, and believe that it's improved. I hope this chapter doesn't bore you too much because its basically what you've already read. XD **


	5. The Beginning

Chapter three- The beginning

Spot's eyes narrowed as Patriot finished his report. Slowly he stood from his perch staring out across the water. The familiar smell of fish and salt wafted past him as he jumped down.

"Spot?" Patriot ventured when he landed behind his leader.

"How many did ya say?"

"Three." Spot clenched his fists. It was unbelievable that this person was getting over on him, the king of Brooklyn. Now as he moved across the docks his boys could be dead and it was entirely his fault.

"All of them were together?"

"Uh, yeah." He could hear Patriot's uneasiness, feel it, as they entered Brooklyn's streets.

"So no one's safe no more huh? Not even if they're together? Is that what you're tellin' me?" Patriot wrung his hands searching his brain for an easier way to explain.

"I don't know."

"You do know." Spot paused turning toward him. "And I know the answer anyway."

"What's your plan?" he tried to hide his helplessness from Patriot but he could see that he saw. "No plan?" Spot jerked away suppressing the need to run.

"Patriot round up the boys I want them in the warehouse."

"You said we wouldn't stop sellin'!"

"Did I say we were gonna stop sellin'?" Patriot stammered at Spot's voice which was steadily on the rise. "I don't think I did I said get the boys in the warehouse."

"Yes, right, okay."

"I'm goin' to Manhattan if ya have any issues send a birdie, but for now I'm callin' an emergency." He didn't wait for Patriot's reply. It didn't take him long to reach the bridge and he picked up his pace. Numerous thoughts raced through his mind, thoughts of what to do, how to do it, and of course who was it. For the first time Spot Conlon wished he wasn't a leader, wasn't relied on by others. It was a hard job to be responsible for one person, but an entire borough that was another thing by itself. "Shit." he muttered wishing he had a cigarette.

Shaun rolled off the side of the bed. The impact of the floor caused her to cry out. Taking a deep breath she snatched one of the posts. It took her a few minutes but she finally stood. As much as she hated asking for help she knew she would need it. Limping to the doorframe she leaned against it as she called out. "Juliette!" she gasped at the pain. "Juliette I need you!" tears flooded her eyes. She was worthless, a waste of life. Thank god Mattie wasn't there to see her condition, to see her true self.

"Oh," Juliette cried when she reached the door. "I'm so sorry miss." Shaun could hear the pity in her voice and for the first time she didn't get upset. She deserved pity, she was pitiful.

"I just…" she trailed off as Juliette helped her into a chair. Her mother's dress had a few tears and blood covered a majority of the hem.

"It's okay." Juliette comforted noticing the gash in her leg. "I'm not a doctor miss, how can I help?" Shaun sighed. Her parents told her that they were going out; most likely she had plenty of time.

"In my nightstand there's an address, send Harold there. It's our family doctor." Juliette nodded enthusiastically. She was at the nightstand in seconds and down the steps. Shaun allowed the tears to fall. They stung her bruised cheek as they slid down. It was soothing to be vulnerable to finally accept there was nothing she could offer, nothing she could change. Once more thoughts of suicide plagued her mind but as always Mattie appeared. _Dammit_ she thought hating that she felt responsible for someone.

Spot sighed as he waited out front of the lodging house. He couldn't bring himself to enter the building, to see the looks on their faces. Every day they were losing kids, friends, family that they cared for unconditionally. On the streets without anyone then the individual honestly becomes no one, someone that no one knows is gone. Spot wondered if the kidnapper realized that there was an army of kids that realized what he was doing, that knew each person he kidnapped.

"I heard Spot," Jack said as he jumped down the steps. His brown eyes held concern, understanding, forgiveness, Spot hated it. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't gonna do anything Jackey boy." He responded turning away from the Manhattan leader. "We need to take action."

"What do ya expect we do huh? Stake out the streets?"

"Exactly!" Spot cried turning, his blue eyes flames. "Who knows these streets better than us? Better than the newsies? No one!"

"Apparently someone." Spot clenched his jaw.

"Who's that? The kidnapper?"

"Admit it; none of us have seen him take someone, _none of us_. He has to have some secret to it, know some alley, some corner."

"No, no he doesn't. We're just not tryin' hard enough."

"Spot!" Jack exclaimed. "You lost some, we all have but- "

"But what? But what? They counted on me Jack!" Spot was inches from his face his fingers pushing into his chest. "They counted on me!" Slowly Jack wrapped his hand around his wrist prying Spot's fingers away. Suddenly the Brooklyn boy knew he showed his vulnerability.

"Of course they did Spot," Jack sighed running his hand through his hair. "You were all they had."

"If I needed someone to rub in the fact I'm a bad leader I woulda gone to Harlem."

"I'm not sayin' that."

"I won't fail again."

"I know."

"I'm gonna find this bastard."

"I believe it."

"I remember one time there was a strike, and who came to your aide huh? Brooklyn!"

"Don't hold that over my head."

"You don't care bout Racetrack? You don't care if he's dead? What about the others?"

"Shut up! I care bout them! But I know when there's nothing I can do!"

"You used to stand up for ya self Jack, what happened to that?"

"It's…gone." They stared at each other, their feelings unmasked. Spot's determination, Jack's hopelessness.

"Don't let some girl make you give up on your boys." Spot had to be the one to say it, David wouldn't. It hadn't been a couple months after the strike that Sarah had left him. Jack had changed after that, and now another disaster came to kick Cowboy in the back. He couldn't pull himself up, not now, but Spot needed him to. Needed him to get over it.

"If I needed someone to tell me I'm a bad leader I woulda asked you."

"You never have to ask."

"Tomorrow, tomorrow at Medda's we'll call a meeting." Spot spit shook with him quickly. Before the conversation could continue he was gone. There were few people that could see him vulnerable, few people he trusted, one of them being Jack. It had been hard but he had convinced him to attempt to take action, Spot couldn't sit and allow this to go on. Not anymore. He slowed his walk when he noticed the familiar sign. A bottle of alcohol was painted on the splintered wood signifying it was a bar. He shifted his gaze to the white block letters on the dingy window which read, _Al's Bar_. Without second thoughts he pushed open the door and entered the dimly lit building. Men were scattered about, music played, and women laughed loudly. Weaving through the crowd he slid onto a bar stool slamming his hand on the counter. Al emerged from behind the wooden plank and smiled. His rotting teeth looked green underneath the gas lamps.

"Spot Conlon!" he chuckled wiping a glass. "It's been awhile."

"Sure has."

"I s'pect life's not treatin' ya well eh?" Spot shrugged not wanting to divulge any information. "I got jest the thing for ya then." He groaned as he bent over to retrieve a large mug. He poured the whiskey in till it foamed over the top. "Drink up then boy, always helps, eh?" Spot didn't argue but instead pulled the mug close causing some of the liquid to slosh onto the counter and his clothes. He could hear Al's chuckle as he took a large gulp. It was refreshing to feel the searing liquid burn his throat, his stomach, and dash through his veins. Spot wanted to feel alive, even if just for a minute.

"Spot Conlon," he heard as he finished half the mug. "What a sweet surprise." A husky female voice whispered in his ear. Rolling his eyes toward her he smirked.

"Viola, how long has it been?"

"Too long Spot, too long." She smiled her made up face leaning closer to his. "I missed you."

"Oh I'm sure." He laughed taking another sip.

"What's wrong huh? Wasn't I a good friend?" he shook his head.

"Friend, did I hear right?"

"How's Brooklyn treatin' ya sweetie pie? Need a room for the night?" her hand slid down his arm. Spot shrugged her off saluting toward Al for another refill.

"I told ya last time Viola, we're over."

"Oh Conlon, we've never been over." She whined flipping her black curls over her bare shoulder. He eyed her tight red dress, short lace hem and heeled boots. How had he ever liked a prostitute?

"Hey doll, come over here for a second!" a man jeered from across the room.

"Stuff it Harvey!" she screeched before turning back to Spot. He smiled; it must have been her personality. Then as he studied her one more time, her full lips, black lined green eyes, and nice curves, he knew it was otherwise.

"We didn't have a relationship," he explained as she moved closer. "Just give it up Vi, you have customers to attend to." She pouted, her lower lip jutting out.

"No, no, come on Spot, I cared bout ya."

"Nah, you liked me, you didn't care bout me, I wasn't a paying _friend_." She sighed swiveling around to lean her elbows on the counter.

"Fine." She agreed.

"I would like a room though." Her eyes lit up. "Don't get any ideas, I'm just gonna get drunk and I can't walk back alone." She smiled.

"Ya right Conlon, I like ya, and that's why ya can have my bed for free tonight. Ya know where it is."

"Viola, ya coming or not?" she turned toward a young man standing by the door. His arms held open in frustration a few dollar bills hanging from his pocket.

"Be right there Freddie!" she responded before winking at Spot. He laughed as she flounced off her perfume lingering, a reminder that she had been there. Spot finished a couple mugs, bid goodnight to Al, and with help from a few of Viola's friends made it to her bed upstairs. Satin dresses were piled on top and her pillow smelled of various different scents, but eventually his intoxication took over and he crashed.

The morning light coaxed Spot out of bed. Slowly he sat up groggily wiping sleep from his eyes. Blinking he remembered last night vaguely. _I need some coffee_ he thought as he stumbled from the mattress. Checking his reflection in Viola's large mirror he noticed his messed clothes and matted hair. Grumbling to himself he pushed the knots underneath his cap and opened her door. The steps were a small obstacle as his headache intensified but he made it down okay. Spot glanced at the empty bar, the stacked chairs, and half used bottles of alcohol. He moved through the dimly lit room inhaling the stale cigarette smoke. Quietly he slipped out the front door and into the early morning streets.

New York never slept, not once. It didn't matter if it was seven in the morning, one, or five in the evening; people were always awake, always moving. He weaved through the market crowds listening to the lively chatter, smelling the fresh baked goods, and recognizing a few newsboys calling out headlines. Despite the kidnapper, and his obvious doubts of his leadership Spot loved his city, his life. No one could change his mind; no one could make him regret coming here. Spot Conlon was bound to New York until he died.

Shaun had stayed awake most of the night. She was unable to allow herself to sleep and in some aspects she welcomed the insomnia. It was time she was able to think, think about everything she harbored and everything she wished she could do. Sighing she sat up limping toward her closet. Juliette had helped her change into her night clothes after the doctor had examined her. Apparently she would experience some pain but there were no broken bones just a few bruises and cuts. Relieved that her limp wasn't anything extreme she picked a plain cotton blue dress and called for her maid. Juliette raced into the room smiling that she was up and about.

"I thought you wouldn't come down today," she said taking the garment from her hands. "I was worried."

"Don't worry, I'm fine."

"Are you sure you can wear a corset?" she wondered when Shaun passed it to her.

"Of course, I'd be indecent not to." Juliette laughed softly.

"I don't think so, some women don't." Shaun shrugged. She had gotten used to the device, the feeling of suffocation, it was another tool to use against women, to make them submissive, and Shaun had allowed it. When she didn't reply Juliette set to tying the laces. She grasped the back of the chair thankful she was making them rather lose. It took almost thirty minutes to dress properly but today Shaun cut the time in half ignoring petty coats and other unnecessary items. "Need help with your hair?"

"No, I'm leaving it down." Juliette was surprised but refrained from voicing her opinion. Shaun tied a ribbon to create a makeshift headband and stood. Once her shoes were buttoned she moved toward the door hoping to get over her limp. Unfortunately the corset made it difficult and with a quick gasp grabbed the door frame.

"Miss?" Juliette whispered from behind.

"Stop fretting already, I'm fine." Shaun snapped forcing herself to stand straight. Juliette hovered beside her as she slowly descended the stairs. It warmed her to feel the obvious concern and motherly attention, something she had never received. Shaun couldn't form words to express her thanks to Juliette but allowing her to fuss might be the best she could give. "Is my mother home?"

"No, neither is your father they stayed out all night."

"Mattie?"

"Still sleeping, I'm sure he'll get up soon."

"I should be back before then."

"Are you going somewhere Miss?" Shaun nodded whistling quietly. They waited a few seconds before Badger skidded across the marble floor. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth, his brown eyes excited and sincere. Shaun smiled burying her fingers in his soft fur. "With Badger?"

"I thought a good walk would benefit us both, right Badg?" the dog licked her hand eagerly. Juliette chuckled stepping around the two to grab the leash.

"What about breakfast?" she inquired helping Shaun tie it to his collar. "I heard the cook was making something yummy."

"I'll eat with Mattie," she wrapped the leather around her wrist a few times. "I hope its waffles, that's Mattie's favorite."

"I could request waffles if you'd like?"

"That'd be great, thanks Juliette." She opened the front door thankful her parents had decided to make themselves disappear, at least for one evening.

The warm breeze caressed her face as she led Badger toward Central Park. The trees were already showing signs of fall and she smiled. "Mattie loves fall too, right Badger?" she whispered receiving his heavy breathing in response. Chuckling she paused in front of the bakery to smell the heavenly scent of donuts. As Badger tugged her past the building she pondered buying a dozen as a surprise. _No, waffles are enough_ she reassured herself as they crossed the busy street to the park. A few early morning couples were strolling along the brick paths, some seated on benches or walking dogs. She unraveled the leash from her wrist to give Badger more lead. He sniffed the bench legs and followed trails as they pleasantly moved along. Despite the pain in her leg she persevered savoring one of the best mornings of her life.

Checking the time she decided they should head back but before she could rewrap the leash it was sliding through her hand. The leather dragged on the ground as Badger ran full speed ahead of her. Gasping she began to run but stopped abruptly. Wrapping her arms around herself she remembered her injury. Moving slower than she wanted she followed his excited barking. By the time she reached him he had already pinned someone to the ground. His tail was wagging a million miles a minute as he suffocated the individual with kisses. Pressing her lips into a thin line she held back laughter watching as grubby hands tried to shove the dog away. "Badger, off." She commanded grabbing his collar and pulling him from his prey. The boy grumbled a few curse words as he wiped slobber from his face with his askew cap.

"Nice dog, thought bout trainin' him?" he snapped using a bench as balance to heave himself from the ground. He turned in various ways seemingly searching for something. Before Shaun could ask Badger had found it and was jumping playfully in front of him. Growling the boy reached for the slim object pulling forcefully. Shaun was laughing much too hard to inform the boy that Badger would only think he was playing. "Dammit! I want my cane dog!" there were a few disapproving murmurs from bystanders at the boy's raised voice. As she watched him finally wrench it from Badger's jaws she recognized the cane, and his accent, could it be? She saw his eyes narrow at the holed exterior. "Don't ya have a leash for that thing?" he demanded his blue gaze rising to meet hers. She gasped as recognition flooded her memory.

"Spot?" she whispered in disbelief.

"Bridge girl?"

**A/n: I'm so sorry it's taken so long for me to update. My life took a busy turn and I've been trying to balance it all out. Thanks to all those who reviewed last and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thankfully I've written more chapters so I only have to upload for now. Happy reading. **


	6. Breakneck Speed

Chapter Four- Breakneck Speed

Spot stared at the girl he had met a few nights ago. The relentless sorrow he had seen in her eyes seemed depleted this morning. She had realized the cowardly, stupid thing she had almost done and he was proud of her. Of course Spot couldn't say anything remotely resembling a compliment, instead he smirked.

"Thought ya woulda killed ya self by now." He watched her dazed expression, watched as her dog licked her hands.

"Excuse me?" she responded her voice lacking volume.

"I said I thought ya be dead by now." He repeated wondering why her happiness turned to confusion.

"Why do you say that?" suddenly her demeanor changed to offense.

"It could be," he began laughing, "That you were standin' on a bridge railin' ready to off ya self, but ya know, could be."

"Oh," she sighed shaking her head strands of auburn hair encircling her face, "Right." He raised an eyebrow.

"Right." He said replacing his sticky cap on his head, "See ya." This was the second time Spot had walked away from her, ending their conversation with a nonchalant uninterested attitude but the truth? He _was_ interested. Interested in what caused her to take actions to kill herself, or how they continuously kept meeting. Not one who believed in fate he shook his head hoping to remove his intrigue for her.

"Wait!" he felt his heart pause momentarily at the sound of her eager call. The dog barked as if he was making sure she had been heard. Spot hid his excitement that she was calling to him and replied;

"Sorry, don't have time for therapy sessions." He stepped into the street ignoring the shrieks from aggravated carriage drivers as he strolled calmly across.

"You should be more careful." She claimed still following him.

"That's for suckers." He quickened his pace wondering if he could lose her. Smiling he listened to her companionable footsteps and her dog breathing happily.

"Sounds like it's not me who needs therapy." She commented. _A__ sarcastic bridge girl, fun_ he mused.

"I need therapy for crossing a street? Sounds like your reality's a little skewed."

"I don't see how."

"Right, because jumpin' off a bridge is perfectly normal, along with housing a homicidal dog."

"Badger is not _homicidal_ he's just excited. He loves people."

"To eat."

"Wrong, and I'd wish you'd stop talking about the bridge incident." She huffed in aggravation. Spot's smile faded as he noticed Tibby's was visible in the distance.

"I'd wish you'd stop followin' me, but I guess we don't always get what we want." He veered suddenly around the corner deciding he could slip in the back entrance.

"Are you trying to lose me?" she inquired stopping behind him.

"For someone mentally ill you sure are smart." He turned to face her, his hands shoved in his pockets. Leaning against the brick wall he studied her flustered appearance.

"I'm not mentally ill." She claimed fiddling nervously with Badger's leash. The dog was trying to pull her toward the restaurant no doubt smelling the food.

"Wouldn't have thought." He hoped one of the boys was inside so he could steal a cigarette. "Well, I'm done talkin' so run back to the asylum."

"I'm not from an asylum, and I don't think I'm done talking."

"And I don't think I care," he pushed himself off the wall and moved toward the other side of the small ally.

"May I join you?" she asked remaining across the way.

"Nope." Spot fought the urge to recant his statement, to tell her she could, to keep him company, but he knew it was only a coincidence they met again. There wouldn't be a next time, not after this. Plus, he had bigger fish to fry and he couldn't involve an outsider in the business of the Burroughs.

"Why not?" she snapped.

"Because I said so." Before she could ask anything else he slipped through the backdoor. Positive she was unaware of the building he entered he moved through the kitchen toward the front. Purposely picking a table far from the windows he retrieved the menu. When the Bridge girl didn't appear for a few minutes he sighed letting the paper fall from his hands.

"Spot?" he turned to see Blink and Mush and nodded. They smiled sliding into the chairs across from him.

"We thought it was you." Mush said taking the discarded menu. "Blink and I wanted to grab breakfast, we made a fortune yesterday."

"I'm sure, with all the newsboys gone." Spot grumbled waving to a waiter. The Manhattan boys were silent at his statement. He knew Mush suddenly felt guilty for claiming their good luck. "I made a few more coins too." Spot confirmed in his usual gruff tone. Mush smirked, nodding his agreement.

"Can I get something for you?" the waiter asked as he paused in front of their table. He eyed them with disgust, a usual expression Spot observed, as Mush began to order. When he realized they were ordering more than a cheap meal to share his contempt faded. "And you?" he inclined his head toward Spot.

"I'll have an orange juice and some toast." The disgust appeared.

"No, he's gonna have the scrambled eggs with cheese and all that." Mush confirmed pointing to the item on the menu. Spot stared at him hoping his surprise wasn't evident.

"I'm fine with toast."

"Come on Spot, let me get ya something."

"Me too." Blink chimed in glancing at Mush with the, _You're gonna spend all that hard earned money_ look. Spot gave them a rare smile hoping Jack hadn't told his newsboys to be nicer to him than usual. There was more than one leader baffled by the disappearances, and no doubt more than one that was just as upset as him. Free breakfast wouldn't change anything. It might help his hangover though.

"I'm sorry 'bout the new boys." Mush said taking a sip of the complimentary water. It didn't take long for Spot to realize he was referring to his new missing.

"Well there's a lot more than just them to be sorry 'bout." He grunted leaning back in the chair. Blink sighed shaking his head.

"I wish there was something we could do," he began folding the napkins into paper airplanes, "It just ain't the same without Race." Spot clenched his teeth. More aware of the Italian's absence day by day, more aware of all of the missing's absence.

"I talked to Jack, I gave a suggestion." Mush nodded his eyes lit up.

"We know Jack told us."

"Oh what he say?"

"Well, he's talking with Medda, and a couple other leaders we think he's plannin' a rally."

"Oh great, hope we won't be attacked by the bulls." The waiter placed their plates in front of them. "Do ya think I could get some coffee?" Spot asked his mouth watering at the steaming plate of eggs and toast. The man nodded and hurried toward the kitchen.

"I don't think so," Blink confirmed. "Anyway we're not protestin' we're just talkin'. No harm done." They fell silent as they ate relishing in each bite. Newsies never ate this good.

* * *

Shaun stood outside her home knowing her parents were inside, knowing something drastic would happen when she entered. The hesitation slid through her veins as Badger tugged at the leash. Suddenly her legs itched to run. It would be so much easier to disappear.

Another whine from Badger made her take the steps toward the door and then open it. The aroma of waffles wafted from the kitchen. Maybe they hadn't come home yet?

"Miss," Juliette whispered as she hurried down the steps.

"Shaun Marie Kenneth!" she turned to her maid whose expression held concern and horror. Shaun gave her a comforting smile before releasing Badger to her care. Slowly she followed the shriek toward the study where both her parents were seated. Her mother was perched on the edge of the chaise her back rigid and eyes cold, while her father leaned against the fireplace a glass of brandy clenched in his grip. They were so picture perfect.

"Close the door." James instructed. Shaun obeyed making sure both French doors were shut tightly. Mattie could be anywhere. "We saw Mr. Manchester the other day." He began the ice clinking against the glass as he swirled the amber liquid.

"And we convinced him that you've been punished for your outburst." Her mother added.

"And this means?" Shaun asked receiving a disapproving glare from Beth.

"We arranged for you to meet with him this afternoon, express your dearest apologies, and prepare for your wedding." James ordered turning to her fully. "Understand?"

"And will you be accompanying me mother?"

"Of course." Her reply seemed stiff, controlled, a lie.

"What if I don't want to?" her father set down the glass before wrapping a leather belt about his fist. His action was answer enough. "I'll get ready then." Her mother excused her. Quickly she trudged up the steps, wincing at the pain, toward her room. Mattie was waiting for her. Badger was at his side his tail thumping wildly.

"Shaun!" he exclaimed. "I had waffles for breakfast, chocolate chip!" she smiled hoping she had managed to conceal her limp.

"That's great!"

"Did you tell the cook to make 'em?"

"Why would you say that?" she winked as she swept into her bedroom. He laughed taking a leaping jump onto her bed.

"I knew you did, I don't think the cook knows my favorite foods yet."

"I don't think so either." Badger trailed behind her as she picked her best dress.

"You're goin' somewhere?" he groaned sliding off the sheets. "Why?"

"Oh Mattie," she sighed resting the emerald fabric over her chair. "When you're my age you'll understand why I always have to go somewhere."

"I don't wanna be your age." He grumbled crossing his arms. She hated that his eyes had lost enthusiasm and happiness, hated his brooding look, but what could she do? Ruffling his brown locks she smiled reassuringly.

"I know," she bent to eye level. "I don't either." He forced a smile.

"When you come back?" his voice was hopeful. "When you come back we can play?"

"No matter what Mattie, when I come back, we'll play. I promise."

"Good." He turned to go but she quickly scooped him up into a hug. He mumbled against her that she was suffocating him but she didn't care. Mattie knew, he knew how much she loved him, how she'd go to the ends of the earth for him. He claimed only one complaint, that all he ever gave to her were bone crushing hugs. One false complaint.

"Matthew." They turned to see their mother, gracefully leaning against the frame. "You didn't finish your lessons for today." He sighed quietly and moved away from her. With a fleeting smile toward Shaun he exited the room Badger in tow. "I wish you'd stay away from him." Her mother said her voice exasperated. "I don't want your horrid worthlessness to rub off."

"Don't worry." Shaun commented sliding out of her plain dress. "You'll be rid of me soon." Her mother released a loud laugh, delirious sounding as it was, before helping her pull on the French gown.

"Oh yes, and a joyous day that'll be." The fabric was tight barely leaving her chest room to rise and fall. "I've been waiting my entire life to get rid of you." Shaun nodded staring at the white lace, pale pink ribbons that cascaded down the front, and the full skirts.

Her auburn hair seemed dull and lifeless as her mother removed the headband. "I'll call Juliette so she can do something with this mess you call hair." Thankful her mother was gone she plummeted to her small chair. The corset was the only thing keeping her up, rigid, and alive. She wanted to take a deep breath to prevent the desperation she could feel from turning into tears but she was unable.

Vaguely she heard Juliette's voice, vaguely did she see herself moving down the steps, feel her mother's iron grip, notice the driver's solemn expression as he helped her into the carriage, or notice where they went as they bounced along the cobblestone streets. Finally Shaun could feel herself tapping into apathy, tapping into something that was slowly becoming blissful. Then she felt a sharp pinch and lost it.

"I'm sorry?" she said her eyes refocusing.

"I said make a good impression." Beth swung the carriage door open and gave her daughter a push. Shaun stumbled into the driver's grip as he helped her down the step.

"I'll be on my best behavior." She reassured nodding her thanks to the driver.

"Good." She watched as the gloved hand reached for the door handle.

"You're," Shaun felt herself stiffen. "You're not coming with me?" suddenly she wasn't an eighteen year old woman but a small child clinging to her mother's skirts, clinging to the one person she expected to love her. Begging, screaming, for her to love her, for her to look at her, for her to not abandon her. Beth held her gaze her eyes blank giving away nothing. There wasn't an ounce of love reflected back. Shaun glanced at the driver who sat on the cushioned seat staring ahead, his knuckles white from gripping the reins so tight. "You, you're going to come back, right?" and Beth shut the door.

Shaun swallowed hard as she watched the carriage lurch away. Her mother didn't turn back, she had said nothing. It had happened. Finally. After so many years of waiting, of the maddening unknowing. Her mother had left her standing on a curb, without any goodbye. Shaun refused to think she wasn't going to pick her up again, or that she didn't expect her to return home by way of walking, or that she honestly washed her hands of her favorite toy. Instead of feeling free, happy, weightless, she felt devastated. There was always hope in Shaun's heart her mother would love her, recant everything she said. Now as she turned to the large gothic mansion she realized she wouldn't.

Beth Kenneth was the coldest human being she had ever encountered. No love warmed her heart; no compassion made it beat, made her blood flow. She knew she should turn away, run from Manchester's castle, hide in the streets, but she couldn't find the courage. Of course she had used her wit, sarcasm, biting comments, but it was all a persona, a mask. Shaun Kenneth wasn't strong, brave, or apathetic. Her entire life had been tutors, dance lessons, corsets, silk gowns, parties, and society. She would die in the streets because she was wasn't required of her to know how to cook, sew, or survive. Only to be an ornament on someone's arm, a punching bag for anyone to use, a pin cushion for the sharp words, a well read intelligent, cultured, doll.

Carefully she took the steps holding onto the iron railing afraid she would collapse. Her movements were bred, mechanic as she reached for the bell. The ancient sound echoed about the dark house, the curtained windows, through the two large oval oak doors. With a cliché creak the doors opened allowing a sliver of light to illuminate an old face that was wrinkled from years of aging, and pale from lack of sun.

"Yes'm?" she whispered her dark eyes half lidded.

"I'm here to see Mr. William Manchester." The woman pressed her mouth into a thin line. "This is his home right?"

"Yes'm."

"I believe he's expecting me, I'm Shaun Kenneth." Carefully she swung the door open pressing herself against it for Shaun to pass. She was short, several inches shorter than Shaun, and thin. She reminded her of a paper doll that had been crumpled then unwound and smoothed out. Her long black dress had been pressed and starched to the point that it barely moved while she walked. Instead she looked as if she glided across the stone tiled floor, past the dark rooms, the closed doors, through the stale smell, and heavy atmosphere. Could she be in a morgue? Finally she paused in front of another pair of large oval doors.

"He's through here." She claimed studying Shaun intensely. By her demeanor Shaun assumed Manchester rarely received visitors.

"Shall I knock?" she shook her head, gray wisps of hair falling from her bun as she reached into her pocket. Shaun raised her eyebrows in surprise at the large circle of keys. There were numerous ones, small, large, medium, of all types of metals. In a matter of seconds the elderly woman was unlocking the door. "How on earth can you find the key?" she inquired as she returned the circle to her pocket.

She merely shrugged in response and rapt lightly on the wood. Shaun was about to offer to try again for her until Manchester's voice responded. Following his orders to _open the door_ she pushed them until they revealed the next room. With a sweeping gesture she inclined her head and exited leaving Shaun standing awkwardly in the hallway.

It happened to be a large office with shelves reaching the arched ceiling. The floor was white marble, and the fireplace was outlined in gold. Manchester was indeed very well endowed. He sat behind a large cherry desk writing furiously in what she presumed to be a journal. Deciding he assumed she would enter of her own accord she stepped past the threshold.

"Close the door." Manchester demanded continuing to write. Shaun obeyed noticing another door a few inches from her. It was smaller in size and contained a large lock on front. _Maybe where he keeps the bodies_ she smiled at her joke as the doors clicked together. "So nice to see you again Miss Kenneth." His venomous tone caused Shaun to look at him.

"Nice to see you again as well Mr. Manchester." He laughed a cold inhuman sound as he stood from his leather chair.

"As you can see I did not go to hell."

"I'm sorry if I offended you in any way- "

"I know you Miss Kenneth," he began, interrupting her. He spun his writing utensil between his fingers as he paced about the room. "I know you better than you know yourself."

"Is that so?" he nodded turning his penetrating gaze onto her. She clutched her hands in front of her wishing she could breathe properly. _Damn corset_ she told herself.

"You're not sorry." He claimed circling her as if a lion circling a gazelle. "But I'll make you sorry." It was then Shaun knew she had made a mistake. She should have run, disappeared. Her mother had given her a way out. She had left, hadn't looked back to see if Shaun had disobeyed her.

_Because she knew you wouldn't _her own answer haunted her. It haunted her that Manchester was smiling manically, it haunted her that he was retrieving a brass object from the fireplace, it haunted her that he moved across the room at a predatorily fast pace, and it would continue to haunt her for the rest of her life.

**A/n: So here's another update! Hope you enjoy it, Happy reading. **

**ScreeScree: It's so odd that the lines didn't show in the last chapter! I placed them in when I was editing, but I guess fanfiction didn't pick up on them so sorry about that! I used the horizontal ruler thing this time so I'm pretty sure that you'll have a breaker. Ya know Viola is a prostitute lol But I really like her character so I had to put her in there. I wish she had more room in the story. And I'm sorry it makes you sad! haha at least he rejected her! Thanks for reading/reviewing! I really appreciate it, I hope this meets your standards!**

**elleestjenn: I will try to give you a weekly update lol, and I stress try. Any free time I have I will definitely dedicate to this story, I really want to finish it :) haha yeah its the beginning of everything, but I feel like I'm gonna stop naming the chapters because I'm running out of really good ones. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**gloomleader: Titanic! oh my goodness I didn't even think of that, but I see the similarities! You know Jack Dawson reminds me of Spot in so many ways. They're both very attractive and contain swagger. Now I'm going to be thinking of that as I write this lol. Thanks for reviewing and reading, much appreciate it! **

**royalmagician: Haha, yeah me too. I think Spot would secretly love dogs though. Aw! yeah Race is such a charismatic character. Thanks so much for reviewing and reading, I'm so happy you love it! hope this update meets your standards. **


	7. Break in the Divide

Chapter five- Break in the divide

_The sun was incredibly bright; the brightest Shaun had ever seen it. Shading her eyes she tumbled over the large stones. It seemed her feet knew the direction she was supposed to be heading toward. For once her mind shut off allowing the soft caress of the breeze to pull her forward. Death hadn't occurred to her, not at this moment. The rocks became steeper, harder to climb; her breath came out in gasps as she scrambled toward the light. She had to get there, no matter what, she had to reach it. As her hand grasped the last boulder she burst into hysterical laughter. It was the happiest sound she had ever made. _

BAM.

Shaun shuddered at the chill that seeped into her bones. One moment she was in the warmest and brightest place she had ever been and the next she was surrounded by darkness. Pain surged through her entire body. As she attempted to open her eyes she began to reach to cradle her head when something stopped her. Wincing at the sudden pinch of metal against skin she moved her wrist side to side. The unfamiliar sound of chains clanking together almost made her scream. _Shackles?_ She thought panic settling in her stomach like a stone at the bottom of a pond. Bile rose in her throat, her eyes widened in fear, and she needed to scream, let someone know she was there. "Help!" she screeched. Scraping her palms against the concrete floor. "Someone," she felt the sobs. The helpless sobs. "Please help me!"

"Shut up!" she sucked in a breath of air at the fierce whisper.

"Who's there?" she demanded ignoring his warning.

"Shut up," he repeated, "Or he'll get pissed!"

"Who are you?" If someone was here, if someone was alive, then there was hope. Shaun wasn't alone, she knew she wasn't alone. The relief flooded her dissolving the stone. Forgetting her cuffs she moved toward the voice only to be wrenched backward with a force that could break bones. Stifling a cry she crumpled to the floor the tears streaming down her fear, the crippling fear taking hold of her entire being.

They didn't speak again; they only listened to her quiet sobs, listening to a hopelessness she assumed they had already felt. As quickly as the stone had dispersed it reappeared tenfold at the sound of the door opening above. Light streaked into the room illuminating a rather small square.

Manchester stepped into as if a ring leader stepping into his circus. Shaun slowly raked her eyes up his form toward his face, his wrinkled evil face, and diabolical smile. Her heart skipped a few beats and she grabbed her chest at the sensation. His low chuckle shook his frail form causing her to lower her gaze to the shackles, nailed into the floor.

"I'm so happy you are awake." He sang his normally lifeless eyes reflecting a spark. She didn't realize he had reached for her till she felt his hands around her forearms. He yanked her forward making sure she could see his entire face in the light. "From today on," he whispered, "I play God." Shaun wasn't sure what ignited her sarcasm, her rebellious spirit, she wasn't sure if it was the fact she was used to abuse, or that he reminded her some way of her parents, but she said it anyway, and regretted it immediately.

"Too bad I'm an atheist." She felt the nails tear into her flesh, the blood trickling down her face, and she could feel his hatred. Radiating from him as if he was trying to burn her alive.

"I look forward to your _fiery_ sarcasm becoming _extinguished_." He spat throwing her to the ground. She held back the urge to cry out as he straightened. "I hope you enjoy your accommodations, you'll be here for awhile." The laughter returned to his voice. Shaun curled into a small ball cradling her cheek as she saw his silhouette move toward the previous whisper. "As for you, your time of captivity is up."

"What the hell does that mean?" the prisoner demanded, anger, and apprehension evident in his voice. He was a male, a thick New York accent dripped off of each word, and by Manchester's aggravated tone he obviously despised the way he spoke.

A flame burst into being surprising Shaun at the sudden lit room. It was a perfect square, entirely bare, with only two sets of chains. The ones that currently restrained her and the set Manchester was removing from his other captive. Wooden stairs led toward the slightly ajar door and Shaun came to the conclusion they were inside his mansion. Inside the vast house where no one would be able to hear if they screamed. A mansion that only contained two people, a maniacal man, and a severely disturbed maid who served has his accomplice.

When the cuffs clattered to the ground the individual shakily stood. He used the wall to balance himself, his baggy clothes serving as an obstacle as he moved forward. Manchester smiled at his physical state before shining the lantern on a large arched doorway. It was made of stone, a single black gate, gothic architecture, serving as an entrance. Beyond it was an infinite darkness that stretched to unknown territories.

"Through here," Manchester said removing a key ring from his belt "Is the exit." Once the gate was unlocked it swung inward creating a crossroad, a crossroad that was only one way. "If you can survive the maze you're free to go." He stated simply. "I'll never capture you again." The captive, who was no longer shrouded in darkness, stared at Manchester with uncertainty. "I'm an honest man." Shaun studied the boy who stood anxious in front of the tunnel.

She ingrained his dark short wavy hair, his sharp features, small stature, pale color, bony frame, the stripped vest and long sleeved shirt that resembled a dress, the dark pants that only molded with his top, the glint of gold from the pocket watch hanging down his leg. It could be years from now but she'd always remember exactly how this boy looked. Because in a few months she knew it'd be her. The same fear, the same realization, that today she was going to die. "Hurry up before I change my mind." Manchester snapped clenching his fists impatiently.

"Hold ya horses!" he protested running his hands down his clothes. "Jeez." His dark eyes settled on Shaun searching her face, trying to communicate with her telepathically, but it failed. "Fine." He said turning away from her, breaking their momentary connection, breaking her heart. Manchester smiled, no doubt the most euphoric person in the room. He eagerly passed him the lamp.

"May God go with you." He called as the boy stepped past the gate's threshold. The clang, the click of the lock made his choice permanent. The dark eyed boy with the thick accent, he was never coming back. "Now you will know the feeling of solitude." Manchester said exiting the room and leaving her in darkness. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the pitch black and for less than a second she saw the small glow of the boy's lamp before it disappeared.

* * *

Anguish. Pure anguish. That was all she could think, all she could feel. The days became only one, stretching endlessly on as if 24 hours suddenly became 124. There was nothing that could tell Shaun what time it was, how long she had been there. Just anguish that reminded her she was alive, that everything wasn't a dream. She was living imprisonment, living torture.

A living doll for William Manchester, a man her parents were so sure would save them from financial ruin. She prayed Joel Bennett wiped them out, destroyed them in every way possible. Familiar tears slipped down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms over her head, pulling her knees to her chest. Tears that matched the days, unyielding, unforgettable. Solitude hurt.

"Oh Miss Kenneth!" Manchester called causing her to jump. It had been more than a day since she had heard a human voice. Only the sound of doors opening, footsteps, and the clatter of a food tray containing bread, meat, and glass of water. Even then Shaun could tell it was his maid rather than Manchester himself.

Her footsteps were lighter, quick, as if she were a mouse being watched by a cat. "You have company." He sang as a loud thump followed his descend down the steps. Shaun unfurled pushing herself against the wall as his silhouette became visible. His fist held a chunk of what she assumed hair as he dragged the body across the room. Manchester made quick work of the cuffs chuckling as he gave a kick to the unconscious individual.

"You're disturbed." She rasped watching as he stepped away. Pausing in the sliver of light he smirked.

"I am looking forward to beating you into submission."

"Keep proving my point." In a small bound he had crossed the room and had her in his grasp. Yanking her upward with such force she screamed in pain.

"What, what happened dear?" he whispered, his breath reeked of alcohol.

"My…shoulder…"

"Did I dislocate it?" She didn't answer. His laughter echoed about the basement as he tightened his grip on her injured arm. "Allow me." Shaun felt the bone lock into place, releasing another scream. Tears created rivers as he threw her into her designated area. "Soon, Miss Kenneth, soon." And as quickly as he appeared he was gone.

Shaun settled against the wall holding her sore shoulder as she drifted into thought.

Mostly memories of her lessons with Mrs. Jackson her governess. The elderly woman had enjoyed her inquisitive nature, her desire to learn, but her mother wouldn't have it. She had fired her upon observing her teaching methods. Shaun had known that it was because she had been kind to her, had explained it was alright to make mistakes. But Beth Kenneth wanted her child to hate herself, wanted her to feel inadequate at everything, dancing, Latin, mathematics.

It was Mrs. Forbes that had matched her mother's requirements. Shaun remembered the fear when she spelled a word wrong, when she missed a step in the waltz. Mrs. Forbes added to the list of adults that abused her, confirmed every insecurity she felt, but she didn't feel sorry for herself, she only agreed. It was Mattie who made her feel that she succeeded in something, something wonderful. Beth could smack her until she bled, James could break every bone, and Mrs. Forbes could scream every insult, but Shaun Kenneth knew she was a good sister. And she took that thought with her to sleep.

* * *

"Help!" Shaun jerked awake. The sound of her chains went unnoticed as the new captive continued screaming. "Please, someone, help me!" Laughter poured uncontrollably from Shaun. It was an unfamiliar, raspy noise that scared them both.

"Who's there?"

"Don't scream," Shaun sighed attempting to move closer to the frantic breathing and choked tears. "I've tried that."

"Who are you?" they pressed.

"Shaun, my name's Shaun." It hurt to speak. The cuffs held her back from rubbing her throat. Fire seared the sides as if she had strep each time she uttered a day that she experienced a new pain, a new thought, she wondered if she'd survive. Shaun knew she had been trained to be a puppet and not a person but deep down she hoped her strings would be cut.

As her mother rode away in the carriage without a glance back she had done just that, only to leave Shaun to a pair of shackles and emptiness. She knew nothing of losing a voice if one did not speak for days, she knew nothing of rationing food for the days the maid hadn't fed her, and now she knew nothing of comforting someone that sounded just as helpless as she was.

"Are you," the captive gasped, "Are you locked up too?"

"Yes." Shaun wished she could have lied as she heard the poor woman sob. "May I ask your name?" she inquired hoping it would distract her from their dire situation.

"Abigail," she released another sob, "Abigail Fischer."

"So nice to meet you." Silence. "But I must ask you not to scream anymore or he'll get upset."

"Who? The one who took me?"

"Yes."

"He's a man?"

"You didn't see?" Once more there was lack of reply which Shaun only assumed Abigail was nodding.

"I was walking home," she began shifting against her chains, possibly trying to escape. "Suddenly I felt pain and here I am chained to a wall," her voice rose in panic, "In a dark room with god knows how many strangers, help!" she screamed again, "Help! Please! Oh God help!"

"Shush, please." Shaun pleaded. It was too late. The sound of the door opening echoed throughout the room causing Shaun's heart to skip a few beats. Abigail's sobs ceased and the shackles rattled subtly, she was shaking.

"Who is it that's crying?" Manchester demanded pausing within the tiny amount of light. "Could it have been my new little mouse?" his tone dropped to agitation. "The new little mouse whose disturbing me?"

"It was me." Shaun cried.

"Miss Kenneth? You?" he chuckled turning from Abigail who's shaking grew more apparent.

"That's what I said."

"Oh," he breathed crouching to eye level, "I doubt that very much."

"Ignorant people tend to doubt." He growled snatching her collar to smash her head against the wall. Shaun thought _seeing stars_ was just a myth but she literally did as her body crumpled toward the floor. Her eyes glazed as they stared into the darkness her mouth half open.

"I see I haven't broken your will yet," he snapped wrapping his cold fingers around her chin. He turned her face so that her eyes would focus on him. "Just wait." Quickly he moved up the steps leaving the door open and unattended. Shaun could barely process images as she lay stunned and unmoving.

"Are you alright!" Abigail called. "You didn't have to do that!" Shaun couldn't speak, not yet. "Really, I should have listened, I," she paused. "Oh god he's coming back, oh god, are you dead?" Manchester danced back toward Shaun casting a small smile toward Abigail.

"This is what happens when you lie," he informed her before pressing hot iron onto Shaun's skin. Her throat tore as screams erupted, deafening screams.

"Stop!" Abigail shrieked jerking against her restraints. "Stop! It was me, It was me!" Manchester laughed cold enjoyment before pulling the iron away.

"I figured as much." He kicked the brander into an unoccupied corner before dispersing into his mansion. Darkness engulfed them leaving Abigail more of a mess than before and Shaun shivering on the floor.

The pain was much more intense than her throat. Fire raced through her veins, overtaking her arm. Her mind exploded to reveal more stars to the point she felt she was in space. Light clouded her vision, her ability to hear. Abigail could have been crying, speaking, but all Shaun could do was allow the darkness to completely take her, and take her it did.

* * *

The scraping of metal against concrete brought Shaun back. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek as she attempted to open her eyes completely. She could barely keep herself awake as she struggled to sit up. Each of her limbs were pounding reminding her of the pain she had forgotten. Especially her head; as her hand lazily groped the floor she wondered if she had a concussion. Numbly her fingers wrapped around the rim of the tray. Water splashed onto her wrist as she pulled it close.

"Shaun?" Abigail whispered.

"Mhm." She responded unable to find her voice. An audible sigh of relief echoed about the room.

"Thank God! Oh thank God! I thought you were dead, I thought, oh thank you!" she could hear the girl's sobs. It was odd to hear someone crying over her well being, relieved she was alive. As she picked at the bread she knew her mother would never show such emotion, and most likely wasn't as Shaun remained missing. Clenching her teeth she felt pure hatred as she reminisced. Why had it taken her so long to realize how inhumane her mother was? "I'm so sorry, I know it's not enough, but I'm so incredibly sorry."

"Abigail…" Shaun forced out swallowing hard at her parched throat. The pause was long accompanied by sobs. "Stop crying, I, I'm fine okay? It's not your fault. He's crazy." Snatching the water she gulped it down gasping when she was finished.

"What's wrong?"

"I just needed water." Shaun managed dropping the glass. It shattered, shards of glass covering the floor. As her legs rolled over them she felt the pinch of them embedding into her skin.

"Shaun, you're worryin' me!"

"Stop, I'm fine." She closed her eyes sliding back sprawling across the ground.

"You need to clean that wound, or else," she sighed, "You'll die. Infections are bad."

"Infections?"

"You were burned, I bet it's been bleeding, and without help…" she trailed off. Shaun was confused as she sorted through Abigail's statements. Of course, she had been injured, probably bleeding, why had it not occurred to her that she would need to care for it?

"How?"

"Maybe, you could pour water on it, then maybe it would clean some germs out, not sure though."

"Next time…sleepy." Shaun was grateful as her mind turned off, her breathing slowed and the darkness she came to love overwhelmed her body numbing the pain.

* * *

Shaun had been able to keep herself awake for more than a few minutes. She had kept quiet listening to Abigail's rhythmic breathing, enjoying company. The door opened announcing the arrival of food, as Shaun assumed. Abigail was unaware she had been awake and whimpered quietly at the heavy footsteps. _Manchester_. Quickly Shaun closed her eyes and hoped he still believed her to be unconscious.

"Still not awake is she?" Abigail didn't respond. Trying not to flinch at the warmth of light on her skin she prayed he wouldn't linger long. He released a laugh dropping her plate beside her. "If she ever does wake up I hope I burned the spirit out of her."

"What do you mean if she ever does?" Abigail asked. There was a clang as he dropped her food. Chuckling he didn't answer and as the door closed Shaun sighed in relief. "Shaun?" Abigail asked keeping her voice low.

"Yes."

"Are you alright?" the happiness in her tone surprised her.

"Yes, still in pain."

"You've been asleep for so long!" Abigail's chains rattled. "I'm happy you're awake, the silence is making me go crazy."

"I know the feeling." She reached for her food finding smaller portions than usual. "Did you say pour water on my wound?"

"Well, yes, but I'm not a doctor." She replied the happiness dispersing. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"It's better than nothing." She let her fingers probe her sensitive flesh and cried out when it landed on the burn. It stretched a few inches from her shoulder to the crook of her elbow. The skin was definitely missing and the exposed tissue was beginning to scab, or so she hoped. Her jaw tensed as she prepared herself for the pain. Dumping half the water onto it she buried her face into her shoulder hoping it muffled her scream. When it was done her shaking hands set the glass down.

"Cover it." Abigail commanded sounding nervous. It took her a few seconds but Shaun managed to tear a strip from her dress. "Make sure the cloth is clean." Carefully Shaun doused it in water hoping it was enough before wrapping it around her arm. It barely covered the surface but she realized she didn't care. Ignoring the hunger pains she fell against the stone her chest rising and falling, tears slipping down her face. Sleep didn't come easy, not this time.

"Distract me." Shaun demanded.

"With what?"

"Tell me anything." Abigail was silent for a moment before she began singing. It was a lullaby, sweet, and comforting. "You'll put me to sleep." Shaun tried to laugh.

"You should sleep." She said pausing momentarily.

"I feel bad; I bet the silence gets to you."

"Sometimes, but I know you're there, even if I can't see or hear you, and it makes me feel better."

"Keep singing, I like it." Shaun felt fresh tears as Abigail continued.

**A/N: A lot of page breaks I know, but I think of them as days of captivity. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and your holidays were wonderful! **


	8. Never say Never

Chapter Six- Never say Never

Spot Conlon frowned as he entered Irving Hall. What exactly he was scowling at he wasn't entirely sure. The turn out for the 'Save the working kids' lecture had been amazing. Numerous newsboys, factory workers, sweatshop sufferers, crowded the carpeted stairs as they filed into the large theatre. Medda was greeting her favorite Manhattan boys when he noticed Jack standing a few feet away from everyone. He seemed nervous as he watched the velvet seats fill. Spot shoved through the bodies and quickly joined him on stage.

"Your face definitely gives the vibe of hope," Spot said crossing his arms.

"I don't have time for your comments tonight Spot." Jack snapped wedging a hand through his greasy hair.

"Realizin' I made a good suggestion?"

"No, realizin' there's nothing we can do." The Brooklyn leader ignored him as his blue gaze swept the building. Jack could continue to be pessimistic but he had to do something, and he would believe they could. Or at least he'd try.

Medda extended her pale arms to the crowd and smiled.

"Good evening boys!" there were cheers, "And ladies." A few cat calls. "Tonight is a night of importance!" Jack pushed past Spot and rested a hand on David's shoulder. "A night that I'm sure all of you have been waiting for," she took a dramatic pause. "So I pass the attention on to my favorite leaders!" applause followed her behind the red curtains as Jack stood forefront. His expression hadn't changed and instead of speaking first David took the lead.

"Medda's right, tonight is significant," he began. "Tonight determines whether or not we'll take action against the fear that's taken over our streets." Murmurs created a wave echoing, proving what Spot already knew. They were worried. "Not too long ago Newsies changed the course of history," cheers. "Not too long ago a group of boys stood up against Pulitzer, and we won!"

"Damn Straight!" laughter, screams, clapping. Blink puckered his collar in pride. Always one to call out during meetings.

"So now it's time to do it again, just like the parade in the streets, we've got to take action."

"David's right." Jack stepped forward sighing loudly as he clenched his fists. "Another one of us has been taken, leaving a destroyed family, leaving hopelessness." He turned glancing past Spot toward a boy. Spot followed his gaze and saw for the first time a forlorn kid. Most likely his and Jack's age, maybe a year older. His face was sullen, black underneath his dark eyes. A wave of blonde curls fell in his face as Jack encouraged him to speak.

"I'm Daniel, Daniel Prescott." His voice caught as he fidgeted. "I lost my fiancé almost a month ago, she, she means everything to me and I know she was taken."

"This meeting took too long to gather," Spot called his eyes blazed as he stared down the audience. "It's time we do something, stake out, lure out, and kill this bastard who's killing us!" Discontent stirred throughout the spectators.

"Spot, we don't know if he's killing." Jack intervened.

"Damn right we do!" he grabbed Daniel's collar pulling him toward him. "Do you think she's alive? Your fiancé? After a month? Wouldn't she have come back by now? Huh?" Daniel burst into tears, a broken doll in his hands; Spot released him letting him crumple into David's arms.

"Spot enough!" Jack screamed grabbing his shoulders. "Enough!"

"I won't stand around and let this happen ya hear me? Whether or not ya'll feel the same! Brooklyn's gonna find him I swear and make a massacre of it!" There were cheers from the boys, Brooklyn no doubt.

"We shouldn't be reckless!" David urged passing Daniel off to Medda. "It could be more than one person, this could be gang activity, we're not sure."

"Gang activity my ass," Spot pulled his cane from his belt loop jabbing it toward the kids. "This is war, and I'll win it!" Spot didn't wait to hear what anyone else had to say. He brushed past the pathetic excuse for a boy, sobbing in a corner, Daniel, and ignored the murmurs as he exited the theatre. No longer would the King of Brooklyn stand around and allow them to be taken, the King of Brooklyn was scared of nothing.

* * *

Spot had spent the next few weeks in exile. Other borough leader's refused to contact him and half his boidies were sent back with a few cuts and bruises. A message that his ideas weren't welcome. Their disapproval of his strategies did not bother him, in fact they fueled the fire. He would prove them wrong; he would prove that taking matters into their own hands would solve everything.

As he traveled across the bridge and headed toward Queens his thoughts lingered. Plans were shortcoming and as he staked a few places out he came up empty. The disappearances had slowed since Daniel's fiancé had been kidnapped. Some thought the suspect had given up, but Spot knew better. They were waiting. Waiting for what he didn't know.

"Watch out!" Spot found himself face down in the dirt, liquid dripping down his neck, and his hat being removed. When the pressure on his back dispersed he rolled over to find a familiar golden retriever shaking his hat in his jaws.

"Damn dog!" he growled reaching for it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you mister," a young boy countered, "He'll only think you're playin'." Spot glanced up to the child standing beside his pet. For a kid he seemed unusually depressed. His lips were in a grim line, his eyes a lifeless blue, his clothes starched and clean as if he barely played, and his skin rather pale. He wondered if the boy was deathly ill and this was his only day outside to play.

"Learned that lesson before once." Spot replied glowering at the happy canine.

"Badger, let go." It dawned on Spot then exactly why this particular dog was so _playful_.

"Badger huh? You wouldn't happen to have a sister or something?" Spot hadn't known a person's demeanor could change so drastically.

"I…" he trailed off, his hand which had subconsciously begun petting the retriever fell lifeless to his side. "I did."

"Did?"

"She's been gone, for a few months now." Tears dripped down the boy's face falling onto his white shirt.

"Oh jeez kid, don't cry." Spot fidgeted nervously. "Just, sorry bout that, did she move? You'll see her again?" he shook his head vigorously.

"My mother took her somewhere and she never came home, and she promised, promised she would!" suddenly the boy broke into sobs wrapping his small hands over his face.

"Ah, kid," Spot picked his hat off the ground. "Never say never huh? She'll come back." As he shoved it back on his head he realized just how odd the kid's story was. _A few months? Never came back?_

"Matthew! Master Matthew!" he jerked straight, hastily wiping his face.

"Badger, come on!" he nodded toward Spot and dashed toward a plump woman with a scowl. She snatched his arm seemingly chastising him for one thing or another and then hauled him off toward the large homes. Spot shoved his hands in his pockets wondering as he continued his journey if Bridge Girl really was missing. And if so could it be the same person that took her, took the others?

* * *

"Shaun?" silence. "It's time to wake up." The voice was far away and unrecognizable. Who was speaking to her? Where was she? Her brain worked hard to bring her to life to relieve her of sleep. Slowly she shook her arms out and pushed herself up.

"Mattie?"

"No, Abigail." Abigail? She questioned as her back met wall. The rattle of chains brought back memories and suddenly she knew exactly where she was, who she was, and her undeniable fate. "Who's Mattie?"

"He's my little brother." She responded. Stretching she swept her leg towards the right until her boot met the tray. Abigail heard the clink of glass as Shaun leaned forward to retrieve it.

"Manchester brought food an hour ago; I kept half my water for you." Shaun smiled at Abigail's concern, her loyalty. She prayed that she would get out of this mess because she deserved to live much more than Shaun.

"Did he say much?"

"No not at all."

"Keep your water Abigail." Shaun pressed ripping new cloth and preparing for pain.

"Call me Abby."

"Oh, um, Abby." She tried the name feeling awkward and improper. Shaun had been taught at a young age that full names were to be used at all times if surnames were not given. The lesson played back to her as if chastising her for uttering the nickname and reminding her of manors. Abigail chuckled.

"It's alright ya know, after my fiancé said it, everyone began callin' me it." Shaun's ears perked at the mention of fiancé and she paused in her work.

"Fiance?"

"Yes, I'm getting married in January, or I was." She heard the pain and grimaced.

"Don't say that…Abby, I'm sure you still will." Silence followed her declaration for some time and gritting her teeth she returned to dressing her wound. Carefully she removed the old cloth and poured the entire glass onto her burn. Her jaw tensed but she found herself used to the throbbing. Nimbly she covered it with the silk from her dress and sighed.

"Feel better?"

"I suppose so, I really need a doctor."

"Do you, do you really think we'll get out of this?" The desperation she heard in Abigail's voice forced her to lie. How could she tell this young girl that she would die here? That her only escape was through the gate she was unaware of and that the boy before her had disappeared and never returned? The fear she had attempted to ignore was released like a flood gate through her system. Stifling a gasp she swallowed hard.

"Yes." She confirmed hoping her voice was full of conviction. "I really do." Shaun didn't need light to know Abigail's face was sullen and disappointed. "What's your fiancé's name?" When Abby didn't answer she was sure she had failed at reassurance. Gritting her teeth she wished she could rid the chains and hug her, explain to her how awful she was at comforting and promise she would give her own life to save her.

"Daniel." Her answer was enough to make Shaun cry in relief. "Daniel Prescott."

"When did you meet?"

"About two years ago." She laughed, "I accidently hit him in the face."

"How did you manage that?" Shaun found herself laughing too. It was scratchy and deformed but to her and Abigail it was a welcomed sound.

"I was playing football, or at least trying to. The boys wouldn't let me at first so I stole the ball and threw it as hard as I could to prove to them I could throw just as good as any of them. Fortunately it hit Daniel causing his nose to bleed."

"Fortunately?"

"We wouldn't have met otherwise. I'm so grateful."

"He wasn't angry I take it?"

"No he took one look at me and blushed." She sighed. "Everything just happened after that, ya know? We fell in love and six months ago he asked me to marry him." Shaun rested her head and stared in the direction of the ceiling. If her life had been different, if she had been poor, would she have found someone like Abigail? Someone to marry?

These thoughts had rarely passed her mind. Marriage had always been imprisonment; there was nothing beautiful or sacred, just a game all society females played. It was refreshing to hear Abigail hold it in high esteem, to want it to cry over it, to have someone who no doubt was falling to pieces without her.

"I'm sure you have someone right Shaun?"

"No."

"No?" she sounded outraged causing Shaun to laugh once more. "How is that possible? You're so kind."

"Well…love isn't exactly the norm where I come from."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm the daughter of James Kenneth the owner of Liberty Publishing."

"Oh, I've heard of them, so you're wealthy?"

"I am, but not as much as others. My father's been losing stock and money, he's close to bankruptcy." The hatred for them both intensified. How irresponsible he was, spending money as if it was an infinite source, and her mother disregarding the fact they could lose everything and relying on Shaun. Not only to marry well, but to use when they needed to break something, hurt someone.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not." She was positive Abigail had heard her contempt.

"Tell me about you, your family." Shaun inquired realizing her life would only bring more negative to their already dreary situation.

"Uh, well I was born here in New York. My parents have lived here their whole lives."

"Their names?"

"Cheryl and Thomas Fischer."

"Cute names."

"I guess you could say that."

"Where do you live?"

"Lower Manhattan in the same tenant building my father grew up in. We live with one other family, The O'Brien's, fresh from Ireland. My father offered them to stay with us when the landlord refused them a room, he constantly thinks of others. My mother however is the extreme opposite. She daydreams most of the time leaving me to tend to the housework and Fiona O'Brien's four children."

As Abigail continued telling her about the factory conditions, the food they could barely afford, and the disapproval of Daniel from her mother, she found herself grateful for the dresses she had been given, the feasts she had enjoyed, and even the mindless parties her mother dragged her too. If she had accepted them, complied with the rules, would she have still been beaten? Would she be in this basement now? There were so many what if's Shaun could hardly remember them.

It was the same discontentment and wondering that had brought her to the Brooklyn Bridge railing, to Central Park, to the garden with Joel Bennett, and now this prison with Abigail Fischer. Maybe all she had to do was give in and allow fate to direct her wherever it seemed fit, and possibly she would find what she had been searching for her entire life. Happiness and love. "Are you falling asleep again?"

"A little, I'm sorry I'm just so tired."

"No you're injured."

"Even before when I was first captured I taught myself to sleep. I'm not used to others to talk to."

"How long have you been here?" awe dripped from Abigail's voice, awe, curiosity, and disgust.

"I don't know, a long time."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, honestly." Abby left her to her thoughts after that. Thankful she drifted to sleep.

* * *

_One more step and she would reach the destination. Her strength had improved greatly from her weeks in the tunnels and she was able to haul herself over the last of the rocks. The light was blinding and welcomed. Euphoria lifted Shaun from reality as she opened her arms to the warmth, the noise of being above ground. Turning she reached into the darkness ushering someone to hurry. But who was it? The happiness changed to confusion, confusion to panic, and the one second of doubt caused her foot to slip and into the darkness she fell._

"Shaun!" she jerked awake her arms flailing her chest rising and falling rapidly. "Shaun stop screaming its okay!"

"Abby?" she gasped running a shaking hand through her hair.

"Yes, yes it's me, what's wrong?" she demanded her chains rattling as she shifted her weight toward her.

"I," she paused attempting to remember why she had been screaming. "I had a nightmare I guess." She claimed her voice falling to a whisper.

"A nightmare? About what?"

"I can't remember." She situated herself against the stone stretching her arms until the bones cracked. She cringed at the usual pain and settled with a sigh. "I'm sorry to scare you."

"No, I mean its fine; I guess it's hard not to have a nightmare in this place." She mumbled nervously. "I just hope Manchester won't give punishment." It had been days since either of them had seen Manchester and Shaun found herself positive he wouldn't come downstairs.

"I don't think he's home." Abigail laughed as Shaun smiled. Her hands found the tray and she dragged it toward herself eagerly. During sleep her appetite had returned with a force she wasn't used to. In a matter of seconds she had devoured the bread and was relishing in the bit of meat she found beside the water.

"I think you're right the maid gave the food today."

"You were awake?"

"Yes, she didn't give me a tray though." Shaun stopped chewing and turned her gaze to the dark silhouette.

"What?" she murmured swallowing quickly.

"I don't know why, maybe Manchester's punishing me."

"Why didn't you tell me, you can have my food!" She desperately arranged the bits that were left feeling shame at her selfish behavior.

"Are you insane!" Abigail objected. "You haven't eaten for days! Keep it, I have water." The appetite that had enticed her awake much faster than usual plummeted and she pushed the tray away. "If you don't eat I'll be very upset." Abigail's voice was cold and determined. "I will come over there and beat you I swear!" Shaun shook her head at the threat, something she used to hear so often.

"Abby I can't if you have nothing." She ripped the last bit of meat in half. "We'll share." She stuffed her piece in her mouth before sliding the tray with her foot toward Abigail. With a sigh of defeat she accepted it with muffled thanks.

"Is this the first day?"

"The third."

"The third, dammit! Have I been sleeping so long? You could have taken my food, woken me up."

"Shaun, its fine. I'm fine okay? Like I said he's probably punishing me, and besides you needed to sleep. Manchester's abused you way more than he has me." Shaun bit her lip as she felt fresh tears. She hadn't cried in awhile but she felt as if something awful were about to happen. Maybe Abby's time was drawing near, her time to join the boy behind the gate. Was his message a warning of the signs of her release?

"Oh Abby." Was all she could say as she clutched her shaking hands into fists.

"What?" she inquired her tone betraying her panic as well.

"Nothing, wake me up next time."

"I couldn't, your dreams must be wonderful, of course excluding your nightmare."

"Why would you say that?"

"The things you say, names you mutter."

"Oh my, I sleep talk? Great." She gave a breathy laugh feeling embarrassed. Abigail sounded distracted and happy as she answered.

"It keeps me company, lets me know you're alive."

"What do I say?"

"Mattie, different phrases like I hate you, or hurry up, and Spot is a regular too."

"Spot?" she gasped the embarrassment intensifying.

"Yes," she sounded curious and Shaun cursed herself for showing interest. "Who's Spot?" she jeered.

"He's…a boy, he saved my life once."

"Sounds like a love story." Shaun smiled.

"No, nothing like that, just coincidence."

"Saving your life is more than a coincidence Shaun." She stated. "Just like me hitting Daniel in the face with a football, its fate."

"You sound like a fortune teller." Abigail laughed.

"No, I'm telling the truth! You don't run into people that do significant things for no reason, you run into them because they're supposed to save you." She paused sniffling loudly. Shaun instantly regretted their conversation. She couldn't stand anymore tears. "Daniel saved me from myself; he keeps me alive, even now. Sometimes I feel like giving up but I know he wouldn't give up on me. And Spot, he saved you and maybe one day he'll do it again, in more than one way. That's what fate is all about. It's a sign, a cross road for where we're really supposed to go."

Shaun stared in Abigail's direction for a long time. Her words of wisdom, of belief, had sent shivers down her spine. To think there was a plan for each of them. To wonder if Spot had been purposely placed on that bridge that night by some higher power. If no one had passed her she would have jumped and failed to meet Abigail, Joel, and him. For Spot was the only person she had listened to in a long time and maybe that was more than just a coincidence.

* * *

The next few days had passed in a giant blur. Shaun and Abigail spent most of their time awake talking. They told stories about their lives, Abigail's mostly about Daniel, and shared close to every secret they could imagine. Despite their sudden friendship the absence of Manchester had made them uneasy. The maid's sudden neglect of feeding Abigail was confirming Shaun's suspicions, and as she awoke to a sob she felt her blood run cold.

"My darling ladies, I'm so sorry to have been away." Manchester chimed as he unlocked Abigail's chains. "I've had a lot of business to attend to recently which has unfortunately slowed my ability to visit my favorite girls." His laughter echoed in the enclosed space. Shaun clutched her stomach as the sensation of vomiting gripped her.

The sound of her chains alerted Manchester to her conscious state. "Just in time Miss Kenneth." He laughed releasing Abigail. The lamp he held in his hand was lit and for the first time Shaun could see Abby.

She was extremely thin; her dress sagged immensely on her boney stature. Large brown eyes were glassy and doused in fear, her chapped lips open in horror. Both of her arms were pressed against the wall as she balanced herself against it. Greasy black hair matted about her face, the face whose cheek bones jutted from the grimy skin. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she watched Abigail behave like a rabbit about to be eaten. "I'm so happy you two have grown so close. This has turned out wonderfully." He unlocked the gate and Abby turned her gaze towards me. _Shaun_ she mouthed shaking uncontrollably. Yet she could do nothing but watch in muted terror as he extended the lamp toward her. "Your time of captivity is over." He repeated his smile slow and menacing.

"How long have I been here." She interrupted.

"Two months." His reply was swift. "Now, if you survive my maze then you have your freedom and I will never capture you again."

"Two months?" she gasped her demeanor faltering her sanity breaking. "Daniel, we're getting married, he must be heartbroken."

"If you live you can mend his heart dear." If Shaun had been free of the shackles she would have killed him.

"Abby!" she cried fighting against her restraints.

"Shaun!" she dropped to her knees grasping her shoulders. "You look awful." She whispered studying her face as her eyes filled with tears.

"Hurry up or I'll change my mind." Manchester barked.

"Promise me you'll survive the maze, promise me!" Shaun demanded her voice desperate, imploring. Manchester growled in impatience. He forced the lamp into her hands and dragged her toward the gate. "Promise!" Shaun shrieked watching the fear seep through every fiber of Abby.

"I promise Shaun, but if not-"

"Shut up!" Shaun screamed. "You will!" The gate clanged shut and the looming presence of death followed the small glow of the lamp until it disappeared. Shaun couldn't bring herself to stop screaming even as Manchester slapped her until she bled. Finally as she lay crumpled and bleeding her throat too sore to make noise. Manchester laughed satisfied as he trudged up the steps and left her to solitude.

* * *

The bottle smashed against the alley wall as Spot stumbled from the entrance. He had settled to drinking himself into an oblivious stupor. The disappearances had ended but he would never give up his search. It had been two months and he hadn't found the culprit. While his boys sold papes in welcomed relief Spot agonized over his failure as a leader.

There would be no peace, no closure until he found the person who took Race and all the others. His obsession had cost him his reputation and rumors of his sanity circled throughout the Burroughs. If he wasn't careful Brooklyn would overthrow him, overthrow the one person who lost sleep over making sure they sold safely. If Spot Conlon could bring back the missing, if he could bring them the bastard that had done it he'd be redeemed, he'd feel as if he wasn't as worthless as he thought.

The gas lamps casted an eerie glow as he moved toward the familiar bridge. Blaming his intoxication for his uneasiness he slowed his pace. Running his hand along buildings to keep his balance he began humming to himself. _Only a mile or so, just a mile _he reassured himself as paranoia leaked through his exterior. "Dammit ." He mumbled squeezing his eyes shut to shake away the exhaustion.

It was that moment that he felt arms wrap around him. Yelling he struggled with the attacker jamming his elbow into his stomach. The man groaned and released him. His feet moved clumsily as he ran for the bridge. The person had recovered quickly and tackled him to the ground. Pressing his face into the stone he wrestled with his arms. Spot dug his nails into his wrist and with the momentary release turned over and grabbed his cane. Swinging it he almost hit him but his vision blurred at the inopportune moment. With a growl of frustration the man reached into his pocket. Even with blurred vision Spot recognized a pistol. Yelling once more he moved to flee but the pearl handle impacted with his head and his body fell with an echoing thud.

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy this! **


	9. Same Mistake

Chapter seven- Same Mistake

Shaun's eyes had remained open for hours. She refused to sleep, to do anything, but watch the direction of the gate. Often she prayed that Abigail would find her way back, that'd she bring something to break the iron bars. It was a prayer that was going unheard. There were no sounds, no sign that Abby was still alive and it was killing Shaun. She hoped Manchester considered releasing her soon. Once in the maze she would be determined to find Abby and together they would get out. It was a promise she had made, a promise she intended on keeping.

An unfamiliar noise pulled Shaun from herself. The door had opened and light filled a small section of the cellar. Manchester's boots thudded against the wooden steps as he dragged something behind him.

"This one is so much like you dear, so defiant." Manchester said as he dropped the body by the chains. Stretching he smiled satisfactorily. "I considered having you for my last hunt but I knew it wouldn't do. So I searched for the perfect victim." She glanced at the new captive trying to make out features. They were merely a dark mass lying crumpled on the floor. "I don't think I'll ever shake this hobby." He chuckled happily as he locked them against the wall. Smiling toward Shaun he exited the room.

Swallowing she turned away from the door and toward the body. As she fell into the holds of insomnia she wondered what Manchester had told her parents, what Mattie was doing, and even Joel. Leaning her head against the wall she counted how many times her burn throbbed until she closed her eyes.

* * *

"What the hell?" Shaun opened her eyes slowly shifting slightly toward the noise. "Come down here you bastard!" Shaun smirked at their energy and wondered if Manchester was preparing to brand this one as well. "Come and face me dammit! I know what you've been doing!" Her chains rattled as she reached to check for food. It was then they fell silent. "Someone else is here? Who?" he demanded as she realized the voice was masculine.

"Yes." She rasped wishing she had water at least. The space where the tray normally rested was distressingly empty.

"Sick bastard," he mumbled shaking his chains, "Haven't tried to escape?"

"Obviously not." More swear words accompanied her answer and she couldn't help but smile.

"What's his name?"

"William Manchester."

"I'll kill him, I swear."

"Good luck with that."

"How long have you been here? Surprised you don't feel the same."

"Even if I wanted to kill him it would have been impossible. Don't know if you've noticed we're chained to a wall." She yanked the cuffs for emphasis.

"I don't need attitude I need a way out." He grumbled. "You're not the first one down here, what happened to the others?" she sighed loudly.

"My throat hurts, I have no water, and it's a long story. I'll tell you another time now shut up."

"You know what!" he began his voice on the rise. Before he could finish his sentence the door swung open.

"You can scream but no one can hear you sir." Manchester said dropping a tray to the floor. "You're in a cellar underneath the ground." His tone was condescending and irritated.

"You think I give a shit?"

"Tsk, tsk, I don't enjoy your use of language, but what can I expect from a heathen hm?"

"You're lucky I'm chained ya sick bastard or I'd kill ya!"

"You'll have a chance to come after me eventually." He reassured kicking the tray closer to him. "By then you should become like you're friend here. I captured her a nice five months ago and slowly her will has broken. I'm sure when she's released she'll barely survive." _Five months_ Shaun thought suddenly feeling nauseous. Gasping she curled into a ball her scrawny arms wrapping about her legs.

"Don't…don't hurt him ok?" Shaun whispered remembering that Manchester remained.

"Ever the savior now aren't you Miss Kenneth? Don't worry about the street trash; I'd be more worried about your future." Reaching toward the stairs he clasped a square object and placed it before her. "Yes just a few more days." He whispered and as the boy continued screeching he left the room. Shaun eagerly dove for what she assumed to be food. Instead she found a glass of water. As she drank the lukewarm liquid she wondered why she was being punished while the boy continued screaming unharmed. She watched his silhouette skeptically as she finished half the glass.

"If you keep carrying on like this you're going to get punished." She commented cracking a few joints as she set the cup beside her. Her burn had ceased throbbing and she hoped a nice scab was beginning to form. If not she most likely was getting an infection and would soon enough die of disease.

"I want him to come _punish_ me," he mocked grumbling as he fidgeted with the chains. "Dammit I shoulda been prepared, I shoulda fought harder." Despite that he was speaking to himself Shaun felt the urge to respond.

"Prepared? You talk as if you expected someone to kidnap you and throw you into a cellar. Interesting." The boy scoffed dragging the tray to him.

"In fact I was. I've been searchin' for this asshole for a long time now."

"I thought those searching for someone normally find them before they find you right?"

"What, well, dammit who are you? Don't seem so smart to me if you're here." He demanded. She heard him chewing angrily on a few crackers.

"I'm Shaun."

"_Shaun_? Wow did you miss puberty? Sound pretty feminine to me."

"I'm a girl," she breathed. "Idiot."

"I'm not an idiot!"

"Okay." She shrugged even though he couldn't see it.

"Should I expect to be down here five months then?"

"Not sure he treats everyone different."

"Well if he does I'm gonna escape by then." She laughed at his enthusiasm. "You think this is a joke? You think I'm gonna wait around for him to decide what to do with me?"

"I honestly don't think you have a choice."

"Damn right I do, everyone has a choice. I choose to be the noisiest captive this bastard's ever had, I choose to live, I choose to escape!" he screamed the last sentence so loud she wondered if someone on the street had heard him.

"You do that." Ignoring his rant she tended to her wound. Thankful for another presence she eventually drifted asleep a smile tugging at her lips.

* * *

The 'few days' Manchester had whispered dragged on endlessly. Shaun grew restless as she waited for her chance at the maze. Her thoughts depicted Abby dead somewhere and as each gory image tormented her it only fueled her want to survive.

If to save herself she would have given up by now, allowed her body to stop fighting the infection, to die quietly, but instead she forced herself to go on. It wasn't so she could see daylight again, or feel Mattie hug her; it was only to find Abigail. She wasn't sure when she felt that Mattie was better off without her but eventually she had succumbed to the idea.

"You're awfully quiet over there, still alive?" the boy asked. Shaun suppressed a sigh while she shifted herself into a more comfortable position.

"Of course I am."

"Of course? How am I supposed to know if you've died or not?"

"I believe this entire basement would smell by now if I was dead."

"It takes a lot more than a few days for a corpse to smell." He grumbled.

"Speaking from experience?"

"Yeah." His tone grew softer and she decided to answer his questions void of sarcasm.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for me," his response gruff. "I'm not its life." Silence enveloped them. Shaun was grateful. The last thing she wanted was to grow close to another captive. In the end Manchester would take them and she would be left alone. Her will was only strong enough for one person now not two. "How many people have ya seen down here?" he continued.

"Two."

"Just two?"

"Yeah."

"There's been more than that."

"Perhaps, I've only seen two."

"Tell me about them." She grinded her teeth wishing Manchester would interrupt their conversation. Her voice had grown raspier and deformed, her throat burned with each word, and her strength could only last so long.

"One was a boy, like you. Short, dark brown eyes, wavy hair, he had a thick accent. Like yours."

"Was he wearing a vest? Stripped, Green in color?" she widened her eyes in surprise.

"Yes, actually." The chains rattled loudly.

"Alright, the second?"

"Do you know the boy?"

"Just tell me 'bout the second one."

"No." she smiled at the string of swear words he uttered.

"Dammit woman, I need this information, tell me!"

"Ask me nice and I might consider telling you."

"I'm not askin' nice."

"Then you're not going to find out anything."

"You're a piece of work, ya hear me? We're locked in a basement about to die and you're playing games. Yeah just like women."

"We may be about to die, and we may be in a basement, but at least I've kept my sense of humor. I suggest you try and do the same because soon enough you'll be your only company."

"Why do you say that?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Manchester exclaimed as he pounded down the steps. Shaun's heart thudded against her chest, her stomach flipped, squinting her eyes she made out the lantern in his right hand. "Today is a wonderful day!" Pushing herself up she began stretching her legs and arms wondering what it would feel like to walk again.

His gaze rested on her as he moved like a predator towards her chains. Unlocking them swiftly he backed toward the gate. As Shaun attempted to stand she wondered what the boy was thinking at this moment. Her legs wobbled like pudding; in fact she could barely feel them as she used the wall for balance. Biting her lip and fighting tears she stumbled toward the open gate. "Your time of captivity is over," Manchester stated watching in satisfaction as she tripped over herself. "If you survive the maze then you have your freedom. I'll never capture you again." She licked her chapped lips as she peered into the darkness. Despite the promise of death she wasn't afraid.

"If I survive," she gasped as feeling returned to her veins igniting them on fire. "Promise I will not have to marry you." Manchester's smile faded, his grip tightened on the lantern.

"I promise." The cold breeze from beyond caressed her face as she used the gate for leverage. Holding out her hand Manchester passed the lantern. At the sudden weight her arm fell causing her to bend at a strange angle. The lack of strength she had was the first spark of fear. Gritting her teeth she straightened.

"Whoa, wait, what the hell are you doing?" the boy cried falling backward as he tried to stand. Shaun turned toward him using the lantern to illuminate the energetic silhouette. "Don't listen to him, attack him! Kick him, punch him, something!" he commanded pulling himself onto his knees. She heard an unusual panic in his voice. As he raised his blue eyes to hers she gasped. Clasping her hand over her mouth she stared in horror at the new pawn.

"Spot?" She whispered allowing her hand to fall to her side. The same surprise reflected back as if she were gazing into a mirror.

"Bridge Girl?" he breathed. "Don't." his tone was pleading but she couldn't ignore her promise. Besides she had little strength to fight Manchester and win. She had wanted to go into the maze, she had waited for it, and now was her chance. Swallowing she passed the threshold the lantern the only comfort as it casted a warm glow before her. The gate slammed startling her. At the familiar 'click' she began to cry.

**A/N: I've only got 8 more pages of old until the new. And I'm happy since I've figured just where I want this all to go and how I want it to end. Thanks for everyone for reading! **

**My Letter to the world: Thank you for your review! **

**Scree: I'm so happy you're enjoying it. And yeah I wanted to add more instead of just editing what I had. I think character development is extremely important. I really like how everyone's turning out. Thanks so much for reading and reviewingg! :D **

**Joker: Haha thank youu. I haven't watched Newsies in forever so I was wondering if I was keeping Spot in character I'm glad he is. Thanks so much for your review! **

**Gloom: thank you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **


	10. Bridges and Balloons

Chapter eight- Bridges and Balloons

Shaun fought the urge to walk backwards. To stare at the gate until it disappeared, but fear of what was ahead of her caused her to look straight. The only sound were small pebbles as she kicked them before her, the only feeling was the cold air, the only smell the stale musty scent of a sewer. Her legs felt like sticks that were on the verge of breaking in half. If she were to look into a mirror would she even resemble the last person she was? It was comforting to know Spot had recognized her. At least she hadn't become grotesquely deformed.

She stretched her arms running the tips along the damp brick. The space was small, confining, and at each step it seemed to grow smaller. The ceiling fell to a few inches above her head and continued to dip. Mud crumbled into her hands smearing her already grimy skin. Her breaths became quick, short, pained as the path inclined. Shaun had lost her balance and strength months ago and to her dismay fell forward. The lantern bounced from her grip as she landed on the wet earth. It shattered against the brick and dirt extinguishing the flame. As she felt the hard ground and stared into the darkness and strained her ears against the silence, she began slipping. Was her sanity finally packing up and leaving her stranded? It should have weeks ago, but now, now as she faced the hardest journey of her life it wanted to leave? Damn it.

She clenched her fists and fought the need to give up. _Abigail, it's for Abigail!_ She screamed at her will. Gritting her teeth she used the wall to stand and collided with the ceiling. Gasping she tumbled forward clutching her head. The tunnel had become a crawl space and with nowhere to go but forward she moved on her hands and knees. Thankfully her dress had been torn making it easier to move, but much more painful. The rocks scraped against her already ripped stockings no doubt creating cuts.

It felt like hours that she crawled until the path changed once again. Stretching further underground becoming so small she could barely fit. On her stomach her hands and arms were the only way to move. The lack of oxygen and strength, the horrid stench, all were contenders to her slow pace. Stopping she rested her forehead against the floor. What had Abigail thought as she did this? Did she make it all the way through? Would Shaun come across a dead body? Rotting covered in rats? Grimacing she allowed herself to recover what strength she had left. There were no sounds of life as she lay in the shaft. Where exactly did this tunnel take her?

Using the thought as incentive she slowed her breathing to not use too much air and pulled herself along. Soon enough light burst into the darkness. She narrowed her eyes grinning in relief. The brighter it became the bigger the tunnel was and soon she was standing. The walls were her crutch as she edged along to emerge into a circular room. Shaun scanned the brick area wondering if Manchester had spent his immense wealth building it. It stretched more than a few feet upward to a large opening like the squares on the street for rain water. No longer was silence her only company, instead carriages and voices echoed down to her. Elated she began screaming.

"Help!" she rasped wishing her voice was louder. "Someone help me!" There was no reply. No one was going to hear her. Not down there, not over the New York City noise. Helpless she covered her face with her hands. Fighting against despair she forced them to her side. There were two planks that spread over an opening of water with the same diameter as the ceiling. One was horizontal and the other vertical. Both led to entrances, one light, and the other dark.

She sucked in as much air as possible and stepped onto the horizontal one. The plank wobbled underneath her weight but she kept her arms straight her eyes ahead. Once on the other side she released her breath and moved into the tunnel. The light sources were small drainage openings that filled the path with noises of the streets. It was comforting as she moved along the curving walls. By the time she reached another doorway the light was fading. Now she would have a sense of time as the orange and gold light bathed the ground. The sun was setting. Panic gripped her nerves as darkness replaced the glow. She tensed, stretching her ability of the senses to hear any threats. When her hands could no longer feel walls she realized she was in an open space. Afraid there was a large hole she backed up until she felt the wall and fell against it.

* * *

Shaun squeezed her eyes shut as she pushed her legs further. Her lungs hurt, she could barely breathe, and her entire body ached. Running had never been a strength of hers and being malnourished and dehydrated it was ten times harder. If Manchester didn't kill her first she was sure starvation and physical activity would. She had spent hours searching the tunnels, light and dark, and the circular room for a way out but found none. Just dingy water and damp pathways. As the sun began to set once more she had heard him. Manchester calling out her name threatening death. They had been running in circles for twenty minutes now and it would be only a matter of time before he caught up to her.

"Is this really how far you would go Miss Kenneth?" he taunted his voice close behind. "I thought this would be a challenge." As she re entered the circular room she turned to face him. His eyes were filled with cold enjoyment. She gritted her teeth slowly backing away from him and onto the planks. Her eyes searched frantically for something she missed and found none. "Not all hunts go as planned I suppose." Shaun noticed the glint of his sword as he followed her onto the unsteady boards. She wobbled in various directions weighing her options. If she turned back toward the gate he'd kill her, if she went into another tunnel he'd kill her. The water was the only way out. Better to drown than be murdered she thought as she glanced at the sewage.

"I won't die here." She stated watching him.

"Really? Seems so."

"I won't die here." She repeated and taking a large gulp of air she jumped.

Freezing water collapsed around her as she sunk into the dark waves. Forcing her eyes open she used the wall to propel her further down searching for a possible drain. Halfway to the bottom she spotted it. A small opening in the shape of a square. Thrusting herself forward she swum toward it cramming herself through. It was tiny like the crawl space before and her body thrashed as her oxygen dwindled. Opening her mouth against the searing pain of suffocation she continued to swim. Breaking her nails on the brick, scraping her skin as she moved against the flow of water. Finally the waves moved on their own and as she neared unconsciousness she was flung forward and drained into another circular room. Shivering on the floor she gasped for air her lungs rising and falling at a rapid pace.

"Miss Kenneth!" swallowing she attempted to stand her fingers bleeding her body weary.

"I won't die here." She whispered sloshing through the water toward a ledge. Closing her eyes she heaved herself up using the last of her strength to curl onto it. A small entrance greeted her and in relief she crawled inside. The foul smell and the scurrying of rats barely concerned her as she moved through it. It was the thoughts that Manchester knew of the crevice and would find her was disconcerting.

Finally she fell face forward into another room, a room equipped with a burning lantern, broken bed frame, newspapers and other unidentifiable objects. As she heard the heavy fall of footsteps she snatched the lantern and blew the flame out. Shrouded in darkness she listened. Curled into a small ball she heard his heavy breathing, the sword banging against walls.

"Come out! Come out!" he laughed. "I'll end your misery quickly, no need to suffer." Eventually the sounds of him faded and she was left with only the noise of rushing water. Releasing her breath she tumbled to the floor shivering and exhaustion took her.

* * *

Shaun groped about the dimly lit room as dawn approached. Her teeth created a rather loud sound as they scraped together. Hypothermia was added to her lists of possible ways she would die as she hesitantly crawled forward. Eventually her fingers slid over a box and pulling it into the light she realized it was matches.

Euphoric she pulled it open shaking as she pulled one out. The first few she broke against the flint but eventually flame bursted from the red tip. She hadn't smiled in a long time and it hurt to do so. Once the lantern had flared to life she tucked the matches into her corset and grabbed the handle. Her hiding place was much better barely visible. Moving toward the tunnel she wondered who had found it and why hadn't Manchester followed her? No doubt he knew every canal, nook, and cranny in this maze.

Deciding it wouldn't be best to linger she reluctantly flung herself through the exit and into the water room. Disregarding the tinted water she cupped her hands and swallowed as much as possible. When her stomach stretched and she felt nauseated she stumbled toward three doors. Picking the one farthest left she hoped she had made the right choice. If she had to swim through another drain or hide in rat infested rooms she might kill herself before Manchester had the chance.

The lamp light was comforting as she trudged forward. Providing company as her thoughts drifted to somewhat happier times and her eventual fate. As the sun rose in the sky the openings on the ceiling created vast illumination and heat. Blowing out the flame she began to hum. The light grew as she reached another archway. It didn't surprise her to find she had returned to the water room. Gulping more water, some pacifying her hunger, she picked the opposite direction and entered the furthest door to the right. This path was trickier, steeper, and curved and dropped. Her weak legs and little strength had her falling about like a rag doll.

When the sunlight diminished and dusk arrived she leaned against a wall gasping for breath. Did Abigail make it this far? She wondered. Would she find a body soon or did Manchester keep them as trophies? The boy who she had seen the first day in captivity entered her mind and she hoped she wouldn't find either of them. Ideas of where the exit could be, how to outrun Manchester, and how to kill herself if she failed her quest took her into restless sleep.

* * *

"_Shaun!" someone was screaming her name, they were desperate. "Shaun please!" she turned in circles shouting reaching into the blinding light the same desperation they called with was seeping into her bones. _

"_Hurry!" she screeched glancing behind her at a nameless fear. "Hurry!" _

"_Shaun, don't!" _

"_I won't leave you, ever!" she felt strong emotions, emotions she had never experienced, emotions that were haunting her even now. Who was it? Who was calling to her? Who did she want to save? "I love you –" _

Jerking awake she listened shuffling closer to the wall. Footsteps, it was footsteps, loud menacing echoing. Supressing her terror she straightened and dashed through the tunnel. Her clumsy footfalls and gasping breath gave her away no doubt, but the follower didn't respond. Instead they followed her silent and steady. Hunting her. She was being hunted again.

Air left her lungs, her eyes searched for an escape another hiding place and found none. There was no way she could out run them not in the endless tunnel. Not if it was Manchester. At the fork she took the canal to the right it led into a box, similar to a room, but reversed to a straight pathway again. Sliding herself behind the entrance she waited. Gripping the lantern she summoned her strength and closed her eyes. When the footsteps were directly behind her she swung hoping that her blow would either kill or maim Manchester.

Manchester had expected an attack. He wrapped his hands around the lantern and threw it across the room. He snatched her wrist and pulled her close fear surging through her veins at the impact of another body. Waiting for Manchester's comments, his cold laughter, the feel of a bullet a sword she discovered there was none. Instead she heard heavy breathing, felt a firm grip, their heart thudding against hers. Grasping her chin they tilted her face upward. Recognition jolted her like electricity when the blue eyes bore into hers once more. Slowly he released her wrists and wrapped his hand about the small of her back. Shaun blushed at their impropriety but made no move to pull away.

"Bridge Girl." His whisper seemed intimate, relieved as he searched her face for something. She wasn't sure what it could have been. There was no hope, no knowledge she possessed he didn't. When he let her go she knew he had seen it. The truth.

"Spot." She responded.

"Didn't think ya were in the practicin' of murdering others beside yourself." He snickered smoothing his clothes. Grimy brown hair fell into his face shadowing his expression as he glanced around. She had never seen him hatless and felt the tug of a smile when he ran his hand through the mess. Vaguely she wondered what it would feel like to run her hands through it. Feeling the heat of a blush she looked away. "Did ya lose your voice?" she raised her eyes peering at him through her lashes. He had his hands linked behind his head, his forearms visible underneath the ragged shirt. It was then she saw the mark, Manchester's mark. Lunging forward she grabbed his arm surprised at the life he sparked inside her. Her fingers traced the burn. "Can't say I'm not used to girls throwin' themselves at me, but it does hurt when you apply pressure to that." Forcefully he pulled his arm away.

"First I thought you were Manchester when you were walking up, and I doubt girls throw themselves at you, and I'm surprised he branded you as well." She paused leaning against the wall for support. "Aren't you down here a little early?" Spot headed toward the lantern. He picked it up and began examining it.

"If you'd like I can leave you to die alone."

"That's not what I meant." He shrugged.

"I wouldn't shut up, think I annoyed the ole' man, anyways he burned me and threw me in here." The nonchalance in which he described his torture amazed her. Was it his life on the streets that had him so accustomed to human cruelty? To the rules of survival. "How long has it been? Ya know before he let me go."

"A week or so." His eyes widened in surprise and swept down her figure and back to her gaze. She blushed once more turning away from him slightly.

"Thought ya would be dead by now." His tone was soft, gentle, expressing it not as an insult but as a sadness. If he had found her dead would he truly be upset?

"Sorry to disappoint you." He smiled his eyes narrowing.

"Isn't this perfect? You can finally die." Shaun ignored him as she snatched the lamp. Moving ahead she hoped her anger was believable. Inside she wanted him to follow her, which he was silently, wanted him to save her again.

"I don't want to die." He grunted behind her.

"We don't always get what we want."

"Thanks for the update Pulitzer." He began laughing and she rolled her eyes unaware at the humor. "Do you think we're going to die?" his mirth ceased and he stepped in front of her.

"I don't know, honestly, but if I'm goin' down I'm takin' that son of a bitch Manchester with me." The sudden laughter that had possessed him over took her and he glared over his shoulder. "Something funny?"

"Nothing."

* * *

Shaun closed her eyes as the light faded above them. They must have been walking for a few hours but the silence which shrouded them was companionable. The chill that swept through the tunnel informed her that fall was indeed turning into winter. She thought about the parties her mother and father had been attending, how the Christmas ball was coming up and the New Year's high that was always invited by her. Holidays were the best for Shaun. Hopefully Mattie was receiving good care, love, and everything he wanted and needed. Christmas had been his favorite holiday. Especially the year he received Badger as a present.

"What month is it Spot?" she inquired opening her eyes. He walked ahead of her arms crossed head down. She smiled at the back of his head enjoying his attitude. It gave life to their situation, a vigor they both needed.

"It was the end of November when that bastard got me, so I'm assumin' December now."

"Wow, it's been a long time."

"Yeah it has I saw you at the bridge in July." Her heart fluttered at the mention of her attempted suicide. The conversation with Abigail on fate and lack of coincidence plagued her. What would Spot say if she told him she believed they met for a reason? "What happened to ya…ya know in the basement?"

"Most of the time I slept through the days. I was fed in increments. I spent a lot of the time alone."

"Surprised you haven't gotten more insane since last time." She chuckled.

"I've never been insane Spot, but me too. The silence did get to me occasionally." She paused her tone softened. "I think it was the waiting that was the worst. I was waiting all that time to die. Whether it was in this maze, or if Manchester killed me, or starvation, I just waited." Spot stopped and turned toward her. They stood staring at each other Shaun nervous, Spot confident. He moved closer until she could see the blue of his eyes. Her heart raced as she grew impatient. His gaze steady. Slowly he leaned closer until she could feel his breath on her face. Parting her lips her eyes widened in surprise. Was he going to kiss her?

"Ya look like hell." He whispered and then straightened. She narrowed her eyes.

"You jerk!" he laughed lifting the lantern and staring at the wick.

"Why am I a jerk?"

"You know why!" she blushed.

"I don't, I'm not a mind reader. How am I supposed to know what ya were thinkin'?" she reached into her corset and supplied him matches. He raised an eyebrow before taking them and lighting the lamp. "We can stop here for tonight." She slid down the wall with a sigh of relief. The walk had been tiring and if it wasn't for Spot she would have stopped hours ago.

"Good, I'm so tired." She wrapped her arms around her knees. He situated himself beside her placing the lamp a few inches in front of them. Thankful for the warm glow she closed her eyes. "Has he followed you at all since you've been down here?"

"No but I guess he follows you?"

"He does. He hasn't lately, but he does."

"What a sick bastard."

"You've said that before."

"And I'll say it as many times as I want. He's a sick bastard."

"Such attitude." She smiled.

"Yeah well you have one too."

"I definitely don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Spot when have I argued with you?"

"Like a million times."

"Have not!" she snapped.

"Whatever." Shaun heard him shuffling about but ignored it as she drifted into sleep.

* * *

"Wake up." Spot whispered tugging her shoulder. "We have to move." He pulled her upwards shaking her slightly awake. Shaun could barely make out his words as she stumbled after him incoherently. It had been the first time that she had slept soundly in months. He wrapped his hand around her forearm helping with her balance.

"Spot leave me behind. I'm not going to make it." She murmured the past months finally taking their toll.

"Shut up." He hissed. "Ya damn well can make it and we will okay? We're gonna beat his game." Shaun heard his determination, his spirit, she wanted to find the same will, the same energy, she realized she wanted to gain his approval and his respect. But the strength it would require wasn't within her grasp at this moment.

"Where does your energy come from?" she asked shaking herself awake and allowing him to guide her.

"I'm used to going without food for days, the idea of survival." Suddenly he stopped shoving her against the wall. "Be quiet." He urged straining his ears for sound. Pressing himself beside her she listened as well and jerked in fear at the faint footsteps. _Manchester_ she gasped trying to move. Spot clasped her numb fingers and held them against his chest. She felt his even heartbeat his slow breathing. "I'm here." He comforted and she fell back into her previous position feeling herself calm.

It was hard but Shaun put her trust in him as he held her shaking hand. The footsteps drew closer but she didn't panic instead she tightened her grip on Spot's hand. Quickly he pulled them forward quietly stalking through the tunnel. It was inhuman the way he moved but it was contagious. Shaun realized she could mimick him easily as they continued to escape. They entered a room with four doors. She scanned them and instructed Spot to take the one farthest right. He glanced at her holding her gaze before complying. Shaun looked over her shoulder to see the silhouette of Manchester following gaining on them.

"Spot." She whimpered attempting to reestablish trust.

"I know. Don't worry." The pace quickened and this time it was harder for her to follow. Even with his hand still holding hers she could feel herself falling behind, him dragging her. Suddenly she was tripping falling over hundreds of rocks strewn about the path. It was a trap a way to slow them down. Shaun held her breath as they cut her each time she tumbled onto them. Spot would stumble with her as he tried to keep their balance. She released his hand hoping he'd understand she wanted him to go on. If Spot survived she wouldn't feel guilty for abandoning Abby.

"Go Spot. Forget about me! You can make it without me." Shaun gasped tackling a few large ones.

"I can hear you!" Manchester called menacingly he quickened his steps.

"Dammit girl!" Spot growled grabbing her waist.

"Spot just leave! Please!"

"I don't leave anyone behind." He stated holding her close. Shaun looked into his eyes glimpsing a piece of who he was. Spot was a leader a protector determined to save. She could feel tears but swallowed them back. The rocks moved behind them and she bit her lip. "Move." He commanded. Shaun obeyed slipping over the middle of the pile. Spot bent down his back toward her. "Get on." Five months ago she would have protested laid down and allowed death to take her. Now she climbed on wrapping her legs around his waist. He stood up easily and hurried over the rocks using the wall as balance; Cursing every time he stumbled or almost dropped her. Shaun squeezed her eyes shut wishing she had been capable of doing what he wanted her to survive not relying on him for strength.

"I'll get both of you. How wonderful." Manchester cried. They entered another water pit the exit on the other side of the pool. There was no bridge and the water was turbulent and vicious as it lapped at the sides and sprayed them with droplets. Spot bent and Shaun slid off his back wearily eyeing the rats that bathed in the sewage.

"You can swim right?" he asked.

"Yes." He looked at her his eyes stern.

"Swim fast." Then jumped into the waves. Shaun followed kicking her legs with as much energy she could muster. "Keep swimming!" Spot called encouragement as the rats began nipping at her. She cried out pushing them away as she gasped. "Come on!" Spot reached the ledge and pulled himself up. Turning he watched her his lips pressed into a thin line. Shaun struggled settling her gaze on him telling herself she'd make it to him. He extended his hand toward her and she felt a sudden surge of strength. Before she could reach him a bullet whizzed past grinding into the brick.

"Spot!" she shrieked faltering in the waves.

"Keep swimming!" another bullet grazed her arm and she cried out. "You can make it! I won't leave you!" he stood and began searching. Shaun was unsure of his motive but when he picked up rocks she realized. Hurtling them at Manchester he continued offering encouragement.

"Damn boy!" Manchester growled reloading his gun. He bent down outstretching his hand once more pleading with her to swim faster. Shaun reached him and grabbed it. He pulled her arm around his neck and tugged her up. Barely pausing he dragged her into the safety of the tunnel. Shaun pulled back staring at his face. He watched intently through the door a smirk tugging at his lips. She smiled wanting to reach up and run her hands over his cheek. He was beautiful. Suppressing the urge she slid from his arms.

"You keep saving me." She commented following him as he plunged ahead.

"What?" he demanded.

"Nothing." She blushed.

**A/N: So this chapter and the one after is everything I wrote before. I'm extremely happy I finished with the old draft. I can't wait to move on with this story. Hope this was good.**

**Joker: I loved Midnight Rain's stories! I'm not sure if its a good thing that this reminds you of her writing though lol XD Thank you for reading and reviewing it's much appreciated. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you, thank you! **

**Scree: Yeah, haha, and I know what you mean like I said I can't wait to write something new! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading and reviewinngg! **


	11. You Found Me

**A/N: If you guys would like I suggest listening to "You Found Me" by The Fray while you read this chapter. That song was major inspiration for some of the dialogue and how I feel about Spot and Shaun's relationship. **

Chapter Nine- You found me

The smell of ash and flesh wafted toward Shaun's unconscious form. Quickly she jerked awake her eyes darting across the room hoping Manchester hadn't found them while she was asleep. What she saw instead was Spot sitting in front of the lamp holding a stick above the exposed flame. He turned it every few seconds blackening the object he speared. Before inquiring about his task she glanced up through the hole in the ceiling. There were no visible stars or moon just darkness. Sighing she shifted to a sitting position.

"Surprised you're awake, thought ya were dead."

"Were you planning on roasting me too?"

"Of course." Her body swayed as she attempted to move forward. Grasping her head she fell back swallowing the sudden nausea. Spot looked away from his meal settling his probing gaze on her. "Ya concussion is worse."

"How do you know I have one?"

"How long have we been arguin' bout this?"

"Two days."

"I know a concussion when I see one. It's not like I was born yesterday."

"Not good enough." She stated wrinkling her nose at the smell. "How do you know?"

"Rather not talk 'bout it."

"Then I don't have one. Last time I checked you were void of a doctorate."

"A what?"

"Degree in medicine Spot." He pulled the stick back and forcefully removed its contents.

"Don't talk down to me Bridge Girl. I may not be rich but I got an education. Which is more than I can say for ya." He sneered. Shaun nodded.

"I'm not talking down to you. And you're right Spot. You're better than me okay? Is that what you want to hear? You can survive and I can't. I stumble around and get concussions and can barely climb rocks while you persevere. I'm sorry you had a hard life but holding some resentment against me isn't going to change that." She felt the warmth of tears. Using the back of her hand she wiped them away. Spot would find her weakness appalling and the thought of his hatred disturbed her.

Swearing he placed the stick on a piece of glass and stood. Shaun backed herself into the wall. The last thing she wanted him to see was her vulnerability. "You don't have to come over here. Just finish whatever it is you're doing." She said knowing that he'd ignore her request. Spot kneeled in front of her. She turned from him.

"Look at me." He said his voice gentle. Hesitantly she obeyed. This time she could see what he felt, see past his mask. Spot had lowered his defenses and it made her hold her breath. "You're not worthless alright? Hell I haven't met a rich girl with your amount of will power since; well there's never been one. You don't act superior and sure you may not have the abilities I have but you have spirit. But you're right. I do resent you."

"You think I'm worth something?" she whispered. Spot stepped back and suddenly his wall returned. Shrugging he returned to his stick.

"I said ya weren't worthless but don't get any ideas. This doesn't mean we're friends or something." Awkward silence filled the room and deciding it was best to forget he had been nice she changed the subject.

"I think it's been a week and there's been no sign of Manchester."

"Well I sure as hell don't wanna see him."

"It's not that I want to see him but I think his absence is disconcerting." Spot seemed unconcerned as he stabbed another carcass.

"You think he's up to something?"

"I do." She could see the beginning of his smile as he leaned into the small ring of light. Shaun clenched her teeth releasing a slow breath. This wasn't the time nor the place to harbor a crush for the boy but she realized it was beyond her control. Shaun's heart was calling the shots not her head.

"Yours is done." He announced seemingly proud as he held up the food. She stared at the ashy remenents of the rodent and grimaced. "Well?" he asked stretching it to her. "Did ya hear me Bridge Girl?"

"What?" she asked her eyes widening in disgust. He sighed and grabbed her hand. The electricity of his touch jolted her to life and she blushed profusely.

"Your food is done." He annunciated each word as if she was lacking brain cells.

"I'm not eating this."

"Excuse me?" Spot asked his expression completely dumbfounded.

"I'm not eating this. It's a rat it could be carrying loads of diseases like the black plague, which in fact wiped out one third of Europe's population, so what makes you think I'm going to put this in my digestive system?"

"I can tell this is the first time ya been starved."

"Sorry I'm not more experienced."

"Well lemme tell ya something Bridge Girl, ya gonna eat it, and ya gonna like it."

"Let me tell you something Spotty, I am not." Before Shaun was able to dispose of the rat Spot grabbed her forearms. She cried out as he tipped her back cradling her head as to not worsen the concussion. The pressure of his body panicked Shaun and she abruptly began to lash out. "Spot," she gasped. "This is improper!" he snorted as he grasped her chin.

"This is called survival by force." At his touch she slowed her movements. With a strength Shaun was unaware he possessed he forced her mouth open. Removing the rat from her hand he shoved it in and snapped her jaws shut. She writhed beneath him struggling not to swallow it. Swiftly he forced her to chew and despite gagging and coughing she eventually finished it off bones and all. Spot helped her up so she could breathe easier. The pain she hadn't been prepared for. Crying out she wrapped her arms around her torso.

"What is this?" she growled gritting her jaw so that she could suppress her cries. Spot rubbed her back in soothing circles as she struggled.

"Ya body rememberin' your hunger."

"I want it to stop."

"Then that requires eating the black plague rats." Shaun felt the absence of his presence as he went to retrieve his own food. Resting her forehead on the dirt she took deep breaths. Once the pain subsided she shakily positioned herself against the wall. Spot crunched happily away on his rat watching her with slight concern. "I can't imagine how hard this is for ya." She could hear the mocking tone.

"I thought we covered your resentment for my wealth."

"We did and I told you I resented ya, so of course I'm gonna give ya shit." She rolled her eyes. "So go ahead and whine about how easy your life is."

"My life isn't easy."

"Oh boo hoo ya never have to work for a damn thing and ya get everything ya want."

"We both know that's not true."

"Don't tell me what I know suicide girl." Shaun ignored the headache that was slowly brewing and stood. Using the wall she guided herself forward and away from Spot and the lamp. "Where do ya think you're goin'?" he demanded.

"My name's not bridge girl or suicide girl."

"Frankly I don't care." He spat standing now as well.

"Then don't worry about where I'm going."

"Dammit." He strolled toward her causing her pace to quicken. "You're gonna get killed."

"I was doing fine without you!" she snapped. Shaun knew that was half true. Sure she had made it far but if Spot hadn't shown up when he did she would have died. She continued down the hall attempting to run to hide.

"Stop!" he called behind her but she disregarded it. Her fists were balled her mind reeling. She had been so stupid. So stupid for liking him for listening to everyone but herself and here she was running from the first person who had ever found her. Found her as Shaun Kenneth the simple girl the lost girl the girl who wanted to find life in death. Shaun knew he wouldn't let her go. Not now. She tumbled to the ground and beat the dirt. Her skin scraped against the tiny rocks protruding into her skin but she didn't stop. It was Spot who grabbed her wrists and turned her toward him.

"Don't touch me." She breathed.

"What is this about?"

"I'm just crazy."

"You got that right."

"Don't tell me anything." He reached forward pushing aside strands of her hair.

"Fine you don't tell me I won't tell you."

"I'm not up for negotiations."

"And I'm not up for findin' a dead body, so will you just stay with me?" she held his gaze studied it. If only he meant it the way she wanted him to.

"Scared to be alone?" she asked. He didn't reply. "It's better if we go our separate ways."

"No it's not." He grunted. "I'm the leader of Brooklyn and I don't get disobeyed."

"And I'm Shaun Kenneth and I don't follow orders." His eyes flared and she tensed. "Alright," she realized she didn't want to leave him. "I won't tell you anything and you won't tell me so we can just lead together and I'll stay." He shrugged. She smiled and slid to the ground. "This is the most thinking I've done in awhile."

"I'm sure it's the most thinkin' in your lifetime." She laughed quietly and as she glanced at him through her eyelashes he was smiling at her. A true genuine Spot smile and her heart stopped.

* * *

"Mhmm." She mumbled as her eyes adjusted to the light. Blue sky and iron bars greeted her as she wiped the sleep from her face. With her attempt to stretch she realized her body was moving while she stayed still. Turning her head Shaun felt the rough fabric of cloth and a firm frame. Reluctantly her gaze traveled upward and discovered Spot staring straight ahead. He was holding her. "Put me down!" she shrieked jerking in his grip.

"Dammit!" he said stumbling. "Hold on jeez." Shaun fell to the ground and stepped away from him.

"Why were you carryin' me?" she exclaimed fixing her clothes.

"Ya weren't wakin' up and we needed to move. I didn't want to risk Manchester."

"This is why we should separate." She said walking ahead of him.

"We aren't doin' that now shut up and rely on others."

"Rely on others?" she spat. Shaun felt the bitterness she harbored rise through her throat like bile. "Rely on people? People who betray, abuse, and leave others to suffer to hate themselves? I tried that before. And guess what? I was disappointed. If there was anything I wanted more it was to trust them. And you?" she laughed. "You would of let me kill myself that night on the bridge." Spot placed the lamp down and moved in front of her. He stretched his arms to block her path boxing her in.

"Did I let ya die?" he asked. She was breathing heavily risking the truth of everything she felt her entire life.

"No."

"Have I let ya die yet?"

"No, but you don't even care to know my name."

"It's Shaun Kenneth." Her head snapped up her eyes searching his. "And ya don't get told what to do." Her lips parted in surprise. "I listen to ya Shaun and I naturally expect people to rely on me. Why? 'cause I'm a leader. If I didn't care I wouldn't have risked my own life for yours. I know you because I've been where you've been. At that bridge, here, now, I know that tellin' ya what to do, to get down wouldn't have mattered. Ya wanted someone to find ya and I did didn't I?" he ran a hand through his hair.

"How touching." They turned toward Manchester. His smile cold, calculating as he watched them with an excitement that was rare in the caves. Spot grabbed Shaun's hand and without words together they ran.

Ran from the shards of brick that exploding with the impact of Manchester's bullets. Hurtling down the tunnel at a speed they were unaware they had entering the first door they met. "Come on kids!" he called behind them. The next archway they entered they were falling. Spot clutched at her but lost Shaun's hand as they collided with the ground. Bouncing across the floor she bit back tears. The adrenaline kept her going as she stood and searched for him. Spot was lying a few feet away from her unmoving. Gasping she tumbled toward him ignoring Manchester's maniacal laughter above them.

"Spot!" she called shaking him. Blood pooled about him. "Oh Spot." She sobbed through the fear.

"Stay still Miss Kenneth this will only take a minute." _Survive_ she thought. Her eyes searched for an exit. Nothing visible but she knew there had to be one. A square cut of wood caught her gaze and dodging the sudden fire she rolled toward it. Bullets grazed her as she wrenched at the wood. "Don't spoil my fun!" Once it gave way she turned to Spot. Shaun grabbed at Spot's clothes tugging, pulling, pushing, doing everything she could. Through the sobs, blood, and sweat she managed to keep him clear of bullets. "Don't think you'll get away!" Manchester continued the shooting. With a loud cry Shaun pushed Spot down the hole and then fell in after him.

* * *

It had been hours and Spot hadn't woken up. The panic Shaun felt was unyielding against her frayed nerves. She dabbed at the gash on the side of his head as she contemplated their next move. For once Shaun had to make the decisions. Gently she ran her fingertips along his face tracing every curve memorizing every feature. This boy had risked everything for her had made efforts where others gave up to ensure her survival. Now it was her turn to ensure his.

Taking a deep breath she held it and closed her eyes. Straining her senses she listened, felt, smelt anything and everything about them. There were no indications Manchester had followed them, no indication of human life besides them. The only things she heard were mice. _Mice_ she thought opening her eyes. It was dark, almost too dark to see. She was uncertain how'd she hunt the rodents but she knew she had to try.

Reaching across Spot she grasped his cane and slid it from his belt loop. A part of her felt that he'd wake up rabid at the loss of the object but he remained silent and still. Fighting tears she crawled forward listening to the sounds of the tiny feet. Their squeaks echoed about her as she attempted to pinpoint a location. Eventually she paused leaning against the wall, holding her breath. She pretended to be a statue and waited.

To her amazement she felt the small pressure of paws on her hand. Suppressing a sigh of relief she gripped the cane and swung at the creature. Thankfully it had scurried off her fingers and squealed at the impact of the stick on its body. Shaun was afraid if she lifted the stick she'd lose it and it would end up dying in a corner. Swiftly she ran her palms on the dirt until she found the furry body.

Ignoring the fact she was killing an innocent animal she grabbed a brick and finished the job. Swallowing her disgust she pinched the tail and carried it gingerly toward Spot. Once she was situated she placed it in front of her realizing they had lost their lantern. Without the flame there was no way to cook it and she wouldn't force feed raw animals to him. In fact they no longer had light or warmth. Her body shook as she panicked. What would they do?

"Spot…" she sobbed turning toward him. Without hesitation she pulled him into her lap. The pressure of his head in her lap and the quiet rasp of his breathing brought her comfort. "What you really need is water, right?" she inquired receiving a twitch as response. Smiling she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You're right I need to stop crying and start thinking. What would you say huh?" she chuckled at the silence. There had only been once source of water and it was behind enemy lines but if that's what Spot needed then she'd risk it.

* * *

"_Don't lie to yourself." She felt the warmth of a hand on hers. "You need me so just let go."_

"_Dammit, stop telling me what I need!" she screeched struggling to hold on. The rocks were sharp her grip slipping. It was only a matter of time before she plummeted into the darkness permanently._

"_Stop telling yourself what you need." They sighed in frustration. "I'll never let you go. Trust me." Shaun wanted to trust them she enjoyed the warmth of their hands. "Come on." They coaxed. She couldn't. She was worthless and they deserved better. Always. Before they could convince her otherwise she pushed away their hand and let go._

Shaun felt a familiar sensation as she forced herself awake. The sensation morphed into something shaking her, someone speaking. When her gaze adjusted she saw him staring up at her.

"Spot!" she shrieked throwing her arms around his neck. At her sudden embrace he stiffened and began mumbling against her. "I was so worried," she whispered. "I thought you'd never wake up." She pulled away resting her hands on either side of his face. His blue eyes were shrouded in confusion and surprise.

"Ah, come on." He grunted pushing her arms away as he attempted to sit up. Wincing he slumped against her his head landing on her shoulder.

"You're really hurt." She said returning his head to her lap.

"No shit." He snapped throwing his arm over his eyes. "Manchester?"

"Not sure. We fell through into this…" she glanced at their surroundings. "Compartment and it's been silent ever since."

"That's not a good thing."

"Perhaps." They sat in companionable silence. "How are you feeling?"

"Not obvious is it?"

"I don't think attitude will improve it." She shifted into a more comfortable position before reaching for the dead mice. "I caught some mice, but…we don't have a lantern anymore so there's really no way to cook it."

"You caught some mice?" Spot released a hearty laugh. Shaun narrowed her eyes as she glanced down.

"Is it that unbelievable?" more laughter.

"Yes it is. What did you catch them with?"

"Your stick." Spot's laughter ceased and his hand reached for his belt loop.

"You used my cane!" he shrieked.

"And what else could I have used?"

"Your hands or something!"

"Are you serious?" she crossed her arms in defiance. "My hands?"

"My cane is special," he fumed scrambling to sit up unsuccessfully. "I can't believe you would use that."

"It's just a black stick Spot."

"It is not just a black stick! How would you like it if I denounced things that were important to you huh?" Shaun studied his demeanor, his eyes, and saw that he honestly treasured the cane he carried. She couldn't fathom what sentimental value it could hold but as she watched him struggle with his concussion to sit up and find it she felt awful.

"I'm sorry I used your stick okay?"

"Cane!"

"Excuse me?"

"Say cane dammit, it's not a stick!"

"I'm sorry I used your _cane_," she emphasized the word. "Do you forgive me?"

"I'll consider it." He mumbled giving up his fight to be vertical and fell backward.

"We have something important to discuss Spot, and I want us to be serious." He snorted turning his face away from her.

"Can't imagine what serious thing ya have to say."

"I think you're the one with a concussion."

"Oh jeez here we go," he breathed loudly through his nose, "I don't have one."

"So I can have one but big bad Spot Conlon can't? I threw you down a hole!" Shaun glanced at the ceiling to measure the height they fell. "Honestly I shouldn't even be okay right now; we probably fell a foot or more."

"Well sounds like you should of thought about my safety before shovin' me down huh?" She sighed exasperated. If a concussion didn't kill Spot's attitude and wit what would?

"We were getting shot at I had no choice. Now can you shut up and listen to me for a few moments?" he nodded his head. "I think we need to back track and get water for one or we won't survive much longer. We have no source of light or flame for cooking and right now with your head injury and supposedly mine we're not going to last. Manchester will get us." Spot was quiet. His chest moved up and down evenly, his body warm against hers. The panic she had felt surge earlier subsided. "I've been thinking that I should go back to the water room. Find something to carry it maybe I might even find supplies, and then I'll come back." His silence worried her.

"First," he whispered. "You're not going back."

"But- "

"Second we're gonna get outta here and Manchester isn't gonna get us. He hasn't so far."

"Spot- "

"Third you won't find anything. This is reality Shaun not some fairy tale."

"Don't say that." She responded. Spot had been her only source of comfort. The only source of assurance she had. "If you say that I'll lose hope."

"Say what? That this is reality?" he faced her. "That you won't find anything? Or say that you can't do anything to help?"

"Shut up."

"Is that the problem? You wanna do something to save us?"

"Stop it Spot. Manchester isn't going to be in the water room I'll be fine."

"We'll go together."

"There is no together I'm going alone."

"So you wanna be a big hero."

"This isn't what this is about."

"Seems like it. Let me ask you something, why were ya gonna jump that night? What was so bad in your life?"

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Sure you don't. People don't wanna kill themselves unless they feel worthless. Is that it Shaun?"

"Spot!" she yelled hoping to keep her composure. "We need it okay? Let me go."

"Then what happens to me? I stay here and die?"

"What are you saying? I don't come back and you leave."

"No!"

"Why is this a problem Spot?"

"Because…" he trailed off.

"Because maybe you need to be the leader. Maybe you always need to be in control. Ever thought about that? Maybe you can't let fate just take over let the wind blow you where it wants."

"That's not it."

"Then what is?"

"I need you! I need you okay?" she paused her eyes widened. He kept her gaze his blue eyes intense. Like a flame burning, captivating her. "And you need me." He sucked in a large breath. "I don't want to know what will happen if we split up." Shaun knew how hard it was for him to admit what he had said. Averting her eyes she noticed he had grabbed her forearms his grip tight as if he was holding on for dear life.

"Okay. We'll go together. But I'm going to look around for a bit. I'll be back. Just rest alright? You'll probably need to for a couple more days." She moved out from beneath him helping him lean against the wall. Ripping the remaining fabric of her gown she wadded it into a pillow.

Staring down she noticed how short her apparel had become. The shift was the only thing remaining close to a skirt, which fell an inch above her knees, extremely un proper. She blushed as she turned to help Spot lay down. If he noticed how short her clothes had become he never mentioned it. "I'll be back soon." She said standing to stretch. Shaun felt Spot's gaze boring into her back as he watched her move forward. Thankfully her red cheeks weren't visible in the semi darkness.

"How long ya gonna be gone?" he asked.

"Not too long." There was a small oval exit towards her left. Taking a deep breath she headed in that direction hoping there were no traps waiting for her.

"Shaun," she paused her hand resting on the wall for balance. She always shivered; her heart always skipped a beat, whenever Spot said her name. "Be careful." Shaun glanced over her shoulder catching his eye. His defenses were down his tone sincere. He wanted her to come back.

"I promise." She whispered before stepping through.

* * *

Shaun sifted her way through the debris as she trudged onward. There was no source of light and she used her hands and arms to guide her direction. Each step she took she counted and at twenty she moved some object in the middle of the path before continuing. Without a visual she would need some way to find her way back to Spot.

_Spot_ she thought. She had been analyzing every bit of their conversation since she had left the room. Part of the reason she wanted to be alone was to sort through her emotions. Shaun was unsure of how long they had been together since he found her but something had changed between them. At first they were at an understanding, two people who wanted to escape Manchester's maze, but now, now it was different. Abigail had made her think about him, their relationship, ever since she mentioned fate. Spot had been the boy that made her get down from the bridge and now he was the boy who continuously caught her whenever she fell.

The emotions that constricted her heart each time they spoke, the struggle it was to breathe when he looked at her, did it mean what she thought it did? Or was Shaun merely infatuated with him because he cared? "Dammit," she swore sliding to the ground. Pressing her back against the wall she closed her eyes. Since she had been six she had been schooled in etiquette and academics. Shaun knew how to read Latin, speak French, talk about great philosophers and point out great art. Nothing she had read in books, heard at parties, or saw in museums had prepared her for life.

It was senseless to imagine Spot feeling as she did. Even if he had seemed sincere awhile ago it could only have been that she was the only person there. There was no doubt in Shaun's mind he saw her for exactly what she was, worthless, ignorant, rich girl, pathetic, no matter what he said otherwise. If he was disgusted by her she wished he would say it. It would make their journey easier and her emotions calmer.

Gritting her teeth she stood only to tumble forward. Her boot had caught on a rectangular object; in fact she had fallen onto numerous rectangular objects. Moaning at the pain she extended her hands to feel what she had stumbled upon. _Stairs_! She exclaimed quickly ignoring the sharp pricks as she climbed them. They were crumbling like the walls in this tunnel but at the top she discovered light. It blinded her momentarily as she emerged from the dark hole. Once her eyes adjusted she realized she had discovered another set of tunnels. Shaun doused her discouragement. It was the sudden jolt of pain that reminded her that she had fallen. Glancing down she noticed blood soaked her stockings. Wincing she ran her fingers over what seemed to be the source. _Another gash._

"Dammit!" she cursed her voice echoed.

"Shut up!" someone whispered. "He'll hear you!" Jumping Shaun frantically looked around.

"Abigail!" she screamed unconcerned that Manchester could find them.

"No." Rocks tumbled about and out of a dark corner emerged a boy. Shaun only had to study him for a few seconds before she realized exactly who it was.

"You're the boy from before!" she gasped.

"Yeah, Racetrack."

**A/N: These chapters always seem shorter when I upload them and then edit. Anyways I hope this met everyones standards. I'm honestly hoping I'm not repeating any realizations or thoughts that Shaun could have mentioned earlier. I can barely remember what I wrote so apologies if you all hear any repeats. If you do, let me know! I can go back and edit it all out so it makes more sense. I am a perfectionist after all. Or if you guys think its goes along with the story or character etc. let me know too. It'll make me feel better. I try really hard to make my characters human, relatable, and realistic. Wow this has turned into a long author's note! Um so this is the last of the old! Yay! I'm writing the new as we speak! **

**Scree: I'm so glad you liked that part! I will have to agree that is one of my favs too actually. And yeah I'm trying to write more scenes that build on their relationship and add more insight to their personalities. Although I feel that Shaun's personality jumps around a lot? And I'm so glad! Description is important! Hope you enjoyed this one, thanks for reading and reviewing! **

**h.p.c: I'm glad! Creepy isn't what I was exactly going for but I guess it is creepy. Thanks for reading and reviewing! **

**Joker: I understand :) And yess! I love Spot. I really have to watch Newsies again and see him in all his swagger glory. So happy you enjoyed it and I hope this chap. is good too. Thanks for your reviews and I much appreciate you reading this! **


	12. I Can't Sleep in Silence

**A/N: Another suggestion! I really want to share with you guys my soundtrack because it's helped me really visualize everything. And I think You'll feel the same way. So, "I can't sleep in silence" by Huma is the song suggestion I'll make for this chapter. And believe me I will most likely suggest this to you again. Because this song could be this stories soundtrack. **

Chapter ten- I can't sleep in silence

Shaun stared. It was all she could do. The boy, Racetrack, seemed uncomfortable as he stepped closer to her. Shifting nervously from foot to foot he watched her with uncertainty.

"Well." He said running his hands along his dusty vest. "I've given you my name, what about you?"

"Shaun." She began laughing, tears formed blurring her vision.

"I'm not understandin' what's so funny?"

"I thought you were dead!" she exclaimed lunging toward him and grasping his shoulders. His eyes widened in surprise and he almost toppled over from the sudden impact. "I'm so relieved! I'm just so…relieved!" her laughter was louder.

"I don't wanna spoil the moment but I don't want that guy to hear us and then I don't think you'll be as relieved anymore." She nodded continuing to smile.

"We have to get back, come on."

"Oh no." he pushed her hands away from his shoulders. "I'm not leavin'."

"Why not?" she glanced at their surroundings. "This doesn't seem very promising." He ran his fingers through his curly hair.

"Look this is the way out." He pointed at the tunnels. "I've been hidin' here for days. I've seen that bastard walkin' around."

"Wait, what?" her voice had lost its previous enthusiasm.

"The way out is through here." He enunciated each syllable.

"Then we have to go back!"

"What?"

"Spot, we have to get Spot we have to tell him!" she went to take his hand. Once more he pulled away.

"Spot? As in Spot Conlon? Wait," he studied her as if she were crazy. "Brooklyn is here with you?"

"Um, yes?" he shook his head smirking. "What? I don't get it?"

"Don't worry 'bout it."

"Okay so you'll come with me?" he sighed loudly rubbing the back of his head.

"I don't wanna get caught, I don't wanna get lost in this tunnel anymore alright? It's amazin' I've even survived this long. Personally I haven't even got enough courage to find the exit." Shaun took a deep breath and this time when she took his hand he didn't resist.

"I know how you feel. Believe me. Spot and I have been running for our lives. But we're all going to get out of here Racetrack. Just come with me, I promise he won't get us." He still seemed reluctant. "Spot has enough courage for the both of us. He'll get us out," she paused her breathing grew heavier and the tears fell. "I…well I trust him." It was the first time she could admit to herself that someone wouldn't abandon her. Spot had pleaded for her to rely on him and here she was doing it, convincing someone else he wouldn't let them fall.

"Alright." Smiling she led him down the steps grimacing at her gash. Carefully he pulled her arm around his neck offering to help her.

"Thanks." She mumbled. As they neared the second to last step he cursed.

"Almost forgot, be right back." He leaned her against the wall before dashing back. A few seconds later he returned with a lit lantern. Shaun grinned the laughter returning.

"Racetrack, you're my new best friend." He shrugged blushing as she hugged him.

"Alright, alright, it's just a lamp."

"It's more than that."

They discussed their trials and turmoil's of the maze while they made their way back. Racetrack explained how he also fed off rats and found a few drainage pipes where he drank water.

"I'll show you where they are ya know, so you and Spot can drink something." She nodded. Her heart raced when she noticed the oval that would take her back to Spot. She wondered if he would be just as elated as she was to see Racetrack.

"It's just through here." She said excited stepping over the bricks. Racetrack followed her timidly and then glanced around. Shaun used the lantern to study her gash.

"Where's Spot?" her heart stopped momentarily.

"What?" she wouldn't look up.

"Where's Spot? I don't see him. I mean I see his cane." Dropping the lamp the glass shattered across the stones. "Hey!" Race yelled jumping back from the shards.

"Spot!" she screamed moving to where she had left him. The fabric of her dress remained, his cane snapped in half. "Spot answer me! Spot dammit! Answer me! Spot!" all she could do was scream; scream and hear no response. He had to be here. "Spot!" she held the two pieces of the cane in her hands gripping them until her knuckles were white. "Spot!" her voice cracked.

"He got him." Racetrack whispered. "He got him and we're next. I should have never come with you!" he turned to run back through the hole.

"No!" Shaun could barely see him through her tears. "Don't leave me." He turned back his face wrinkled. Was he disgusted? She fell to her knees pulling the cane to her chest the gold tip pressed into her chin. "I left him here. I should never have done that." Racetrack sighed and she could hear him move toward her.

"Come on don't blame yourself." He attempted to comfort her. Resting his hand on her shoulder.

"Why didn't he yell? Say something!"

"Maybe he fell asleep?"

"You're not helping!" she shrugged his hand off. Racetrack rocked back on his heels and gritted his teeth. Shaun knew he was afraid they were falling into a trap. "You can leave."

"What?"

"Go Racetrack. Just go." She pushed him for emphasis and stood.

"Aw come on kid."

"I'm not a kid!" Shaun marched toward the oval they had entered from earlier.

"Being mad isn't gonna help anything."

"Neither is being afraid!"

"What do you expect me to do? Wait around until he kills me?"

"You were waiting around to die and you know it. You sat in that damn hole and didn't do anything. At least Spot and I ran for our lives, got this far!" Racetrack waved his hand in her direction.

"You got this far Spot is dead." She leaped for the boy tackling him to the ground. In a matter of seconds Shaun was hitting him. Punching his face screaming uncontrollably.

"Don't say that, never say that!" she shrieked her knuckles beginning to bleed from fist to flesh impact. Racetrack struggled beneath her before finally kicking her off. She fell in a heap on the ground clasping her head between her hands.

"You're crazy!" he yelled wiping blood from his nose. "I don't have to help you." He left her crumpled and bleeding. She could hear his footsteps fading and she did nothing to stop him. What difference did it make? They had been so close, Spot and Shaun, and because of her stupidity he was gone. She hadn't realized she had dropped the remnants of his cane until she opened her eyes. Grabbing them she curled up breathing heavily. Racetrack was gone and all could she hear was her sniffling.

* * *

Shaun hadn't moved for at least a day and a half. She spent hours curled up holding the black stick, staring into space. The hysteria that had gripped her at Spot's missing body wore her out. Spot had been her source of strength and assurance and now that he was gone Manchester had finally succeeded. Prior to the maze he had claimed he would break her, blow out the fire in her eyes. There had been many times in the cellar she had believed he was close to his statement, but each day she survived fought through the pain, she knew he had been wrong.

Shaun had used Mattie and then Abigail as reasons for her to live. They were reasons for her to win Manchester's game. It was purely to save them. Spot was the one that wanted to save _her_ to make sure _she _made it. Not because he had purpose just because he believed she was worth saving.

Spot had always thought she was worth saving. So now if it had been her who had been taken by Manchester would he sit here crying? No he'd get up and do something. Smiling she stretched and swiftly straightened. Moving fast and quietly she retraced her steps until she reached the stairs. Racetrack most likely was sitting in his corner brooding. Rolling her eyes at the mental image she called his name.

"I know I'm the last person you want to see. But I'm honestly sorry about punching you." He didn't reply. "I know you're there Race. It's just I panicked and just like you I was afraid. Not for my life really but for Spot." She shifted nervously hoping he had remained in the place she found him. There was no way she could deal with finding his dead body when she moved on. "I know he's not dead Race. I _know_ he's alive somewhere. And I won't let Manchester do anything to him. I also know you guys must have known each other so will you come with me?" It took a few minutes for Racetrack to emerge and when he did he was smiling. His smile was crooked and sad expressing everything he felt at that moment.

"You sure have a lot of faith in him." He dusted off his clothes. "Spot I mean." Shaun shrugged hoping to feign nonchalance on her feelings toward the boy. "You're right I do know him. We're kinda friends. And I also think he might be alive. But the thing is I want to live through this and I don't know if we can find Manchester and Spot and live through the tale ya know?" Shaun nodded.

"I know." She whispered. Slowly she reached for Race's hand and hesitantly closed her fingers around his. "And it's hard not knowing what's gonna happen but I can't let Spot die." Racetrack saw the determination in her eyes and clasped her hand.

"Then let's go." Together they exited the small compartment in which Racetrack had been hiding. The tunnels which he claimed Manchester had traveled through were narrow and defined. There were barely any stones or inconsistencies in the dirt as if someone had treaded these paths for a long time. "Which way are we going?" Racetrack asked as we moved slowly toward the right.

"Always to the right Race. Always." Shaun replied tugging him along as she listened carefully. No sounds seemed out of place as they walked no sign of Manchester or Spot, or anyone. It was just Racetrack and Shaun hunting the hunter. The light was brighter in the tunnels which made it easy to see and suddenly the path inclined upward.

Race and Shaun paused to glance at each other.

"Should we go up?" Race asked breathless. Shaun could feel the anticipation, fear, and excitement before they had taken the steps. Shaun gripped Racetrack's hand tighter and nodded.

"Of course." She said and faster than either of them had moved since leaving the compartment they followed the tunnel. "A door." Shaun stated when they reached the top. Indeed it was a door, a large wooden door. It was the last thing either of them expected.

"Do you think he's in there?"

"I do." She whispered pressing her palm against the wood. Race sighed loudly smoothing down the sides of his hair as he did so. "Race?" she inquired noticing his nervous demeanor. "I can't do this alone."

"I don't know Shaun," he said shaking his head. "This all could be a trap we could die if we go through there. And…" she grabbed his shoulders.

"Let me tell you something. We can die if we turn back. We might not die by Manchester's methods but we will of starvation, disease, hypothermia, whatever it may be. One night you might close your eyes Race and never wake up. Have you considered that? It's winter Racetrack. Probably December or January, who knows, but it will start to snow and it will reach us. Hiding in the shadows won't do you any good. Believe me I wanted to stop, I wanted to give up, but Spot is what made me go on. He made it seem like this all wasn't as hopeless as you think."

She released him and wrapped her hand around the door knob. "I'm going through and I'd rather die saving Spot Conlon than hiding in a corner." Her gaze softened as she studied him. "And I know you would too." Shaun wasn't sure where her words had come from or when reality had set in. She was sounding much more like Spot than she intended or even thought she could. This was exactly a speech he would say.

Racetrack rested his hand on hers and they both opened the door.

**A/N: So this chapter and the next will be rather short. Sorry about that but I feel it adds...drama? I guess. Anyways hope you all enjoyed this.**

**Joker: I'm so glad! I had so much fun writing the cane scene. And thanks for reading it with the song haha. I was wondering if anyone would actually do that, and yeah I love that song. I hope this chapter was good I know it's different and may seem abrupt. **

**Scree: Yeah I actually didn't post up the chapter that had her finding Race. That was stuff I wrote before I decided to revamp the entire thing. It's weird not having a template anymore for my chapters. And take your time with the song! haha. Hope you enjoyed this one! **

**Elleest: Yay! I'm so happy! and its all perfectly fine :) thanks for finding the time! And yeah I've been dedicating a lot of time to this story even though I should be writing my english papers haha. **

**Switch: I love Racetrack. I couldn't imagine killing him off. Glad you love it and thanks for reading and reviewing! **


	13. Saving Me

Chapter eleven- Saving me

It was dark inside the room. Shaun narrowed her eyes to see better but gave up when there was no clarity. The silence was unnerving as she hesitantly treaded further past the threshold. Racetrack released her hand. She spun around plunging her arm into the darkness searching for him. "Race?" she whispered.

"I'll stay behind. Watch your back." he replied his voice barely audible. Nodding she faced forward stifling the fear that churned in her stomach. Slowly she walked straining to hear anything. All she could hear were her own footsteps. _Was Racetrack really that quiet?_ She wondered pausing in what she assumed to be the middle of the room.

Feeling nervous she glanced over her shoulder prepared to speak again. It was then that the room was suddenly illuminated. Shaun's eyes widened when they rested on Manchester. He stood his arms crossed, a smile stretched across his face. Behind him the maid had her fingers resting on a lever. Shaun's gaze followed the wire until she saw the chandelier that was providing light.

"Finally." Manchester said. Shaun returned her gaze to the man who had hunted her. "Good job Miss Kenneth, you've discovered the end." He gestured behind him to another door. Smaller than the wooden one she had entered from with a set of brick steps. "Not many of my pawns reach this room, and if they do, I try one last time to kill them."

"I thought you were a man of your word." She stated surprised she had remembered his speech before she entered the maze.

"I think you know enough of my nature to understand I must always win." He uncrossed his arms and opened them as if to embrace her. "I can't have you _all_ leave alive." Shaun saw what he meant and gasped.

Two figures stood on either side of him black sacks placed over their heads. She didn't have to ask to know who they were. "I thought I would give you and your friend a few days before I would make my move. When I traveled down into the lower level I saw you had left the boy defenseless." He chuckled moving towards the right. Draping his arms around the shoulders of the figure Shaun saw them tense. Muffled yelling could be heard from underneath the fabric. "Sleeping, he was unaware I had captured him until I brought him here. I know you'd come." Manchester's gaze pierced her as if he could see every bone, every vein, and every emotion. His grip tightened.

"A trap?" she croaked watching as Manchester danced toward the left to grasp the other individual.

"Something along those lines." He narrowed his eyes and she saw them scan the room behind her. Clenching her jaw she followed his line of sight and noticed the half behind them was shadowed. _Racetrack_ she thought. "Where's the other?"

"He didn't come." Shaun hoped she was convincing.

"I'll get him too." Manchester raised his voice. Shaun shuddered at the thought. "So where were we dear?" She balled her hands into fists ignoring the dull pain of her nails cutting into her palm. "Effy would you be so kind to unveil our participants?" the maid Shaun recognized from earlier glided forward.

Her knobby fingers reached for the person on the left first. Shaun bit back the tears when Abigail's panicked eyes caught hers. She could tell she wanted to speak but the gag in her mouth restrained anything but muffled breaths. Shaun's chest rose and fell rapidly as she watched Effy reach for the second person.

The tears slid down her cheeks when she saw Spot's determined expression, his fiery eyes. "I think you can remove the gags as well." Effy obeyed making quick work of the knots. "Dear Miss Kenneth," Manchester began moving toward Abigail. He ran his fingers over her greasy hair. Shaun saw Abigail's eyes close in repulsion. Her entire body trembled causing the wooden box beneath her feet to shake.

"No," Shaun gasped wrenching her eyes up to the thick rope that was wrapped around her neck.

"Oh yes." Manchester beamed. "I wanted to make you suffer. And the fact you became so," he moved behind Abby wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. "Attached, to these two just made it so easy to devise a plan." Abigail released a loud sob.

"Shaun," she cried. "I'm so sorry." Manchester's laughter echoed about them.

"You're sorry dear?" Manchester questioned placing his fingers around her face. "Why you?"

"Let go of her!" Shaun screamed launching herself forward. Manchester placed his foot on Abigail's box and began to move it sideways. Abby shrieked at the movement. "No!" Shaun cried pausing mid step.

"Move any closer and I'll kill her." He turned to his maid. "Effy?" the old woman placed her own boot on Spot's box.

"What do you want?" Shaun asked her eyes fixated on the maid then Spot's rope.

"A choice Miss Kenneth." Manchester drawled returning to the middle of the two. "Either him," he pointed to the right. "Or her." He pointed to the left. "And whoever you choose leaves with you through that door."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"I said I try to kill those that come to this room. This time I've made a game of it. Two for two." He waved his hand at the door that led back to the maze. "The other boy is down there somewhere. I can kill whoever you leave behind and him. I think it makes it even."

Shaun swallowed back the vomit. How could she choose between them? Her arms constricted around her stomach as she sank down on her knees. "You two can make your case on why she should choose you." Manchester chuckled watching amused. She didn't want to look at either of them. The silence dragged on as she stared at the floor and the red marks her nails had made in her palms. _If she could choose_…she thought wondering if there was an option c.

"Shaun." She jumped at the sound of his voice. "Stop bein' stupid. Get the girl and go." Swallowing hard she looked up and met his blue eyes. Gasping loudly she tried to stifle the weakness everyone could see.

There was no fear, no hate, in Spot's eyes just an acceptance that this was his end. Shaun griped her throat and watched him shaking her head. There was no life without Spot how could she find a way to climb those stairs if he wasn't already there? "What do you mean no?" he demanded his stubborn tone evident. "Get the hell up and get outta here. Stop wastin' everyone's time."

"Spot," she sobbed. "I can't let you die."

"Don't be my hero." He spat. Narrowing his eyes in her direction. "You have a complex with being needed. Get over it. Do the right thing."

"If you were in my place who would you choose?" Shaun screamed. "Huh? Tell me." Spot smirked.

"I'm not in your place."

"I already know what you'd do." Shaun whispered turning to Manchester. "What about me? I die and Spot and Abigail go free."

"No. Choose one."

"You're right." Spot sighed. "I'd say the same thing." He fidgeted with ropes that bound his hands behind his back. "Now will ya just let me die already." All Shaun was capable of doing was to watch him. Wait for him to show a normal emotion when his life hung in the balance, held by someone who had once been so ready to throw hers away. He never did.

"I know that look." Shaun grimaced at Abigail's husky voice. "I know that look very well." She allowed herself to hold Abigail's gaze this time. She was smiling through her tears her eyes were gentle and forgiving. Shaun looked away. "Spot's right Shaun. Make the choice already. You knew who you were going to pick even before Manchester removed the sacks."

"No Abby," she whispered.

"The thing Spot doesn't understand I do. Because as much as I hate to admit it I'd choose the same." Shaun jerked her face up her eyes widening in surprise. "When there's only one person you see no matter what it's hard to imagine not seeing them anymore. When you find that one person who is worth living for right?"

"What are you all talking about?" Spot yelled. "Just shut up, Shaun finally get a grip. Welcome to reality!"

"I forgive you." Abigail whispered nodding her approval. "I don't need to tell you what to say to Daniel, because you feel it now."

"Abby I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Manchester kicked the box from underneath her boots. Shaun watched her legs dangle as Abigail struggled for breath. Of course he wouldn't make it the correct height to break her neck.

"I guess you're her choice Spot." Manchester smiled.

"You idiot!" Spot screamed. "Why the hell do you think I'm worth saving?" Shaun turned to him her expression full of pain and horror.

"Why did you think I was?" he stopped, watching Manchester cross the room and push Effy out the way.

"I just wanted to see what you'd do, but too bad I'm not a man of my word." He lifted his foot.

"No!" Shaun ran tackling Manchester. They tumbled to the ground rolling underneath Abigail's kicking feet. She gurgled as the rope continued to choke the life from her. Shaun tried not to sob as she shoved the man away from her. His hands entangled in her hair dragging her back.

"Shaun, dammit!" Spot called from behind them. Manchester snatched her arm bending it at an unnatural angle. Shaun gasped reaching forward and digging her nails into his face. He grunted flinging her away from him. Manchester was on his knees groaning as he touched the bloody gashes on his face. Shaun studied him only to find the handle of his gun sticking from his pocket. Diving for him she grabbed the pearl handle pulling it out and lifting it toward him. Manchester jumped up growling as he caught his breath.

"Smart Miss Kenneth, smart."

"Get Abby down." She demanded. Manchester shifted his eyes behind her and smirked.

"She's already dead." Refusing to turn she bit her lip to keep the hysteria down.

"Get Spot down."

"No." Shaun's hands shook. He was calling her bluff. Could she really pull this trigger? Just for a moment she looked down to cock it and it was then Manchester attacked.

"Shaun!" she could hear Spot once more his box shaking with his efforts to escape. "Make yourself useful you old hag and untie me!" Spot commanded.

"Only if my employer wishes it." Effy monotonously replied. Spot clenched his teeth.

"She made her decision let me go." He watched as Shaun struggled for power over the gun. Spot knew he'd kill her, Manchester would kill Shaun and he couldn't allow that. "Do something right for once. Ya know it's not okay that he's playing us like chess pieces in here!" her face softened. "Please," he pleaded as Manchester grabbed the pistol. "Please!" he cried. Effy made no move to release him and he watched helplessly as Manchester held the barrel to Shaun's forehead.

"You all fall down." Manchester sang she heard the eerie click as he prepared the gun. Shaun closed her eyes and prepared herself for death. She had no regrets.

"Spot, I- " she was unable to say it. Abruptly Manchester was knocked sideways the gun slid across the floor. Shaun sat up and stared in amazement at Racetrack. He held a large wooden board in his hand breathing heavily.

"Who started the party without me?" he asked flashing her a quick smile.

"Don't waste time ya idiots!" Spot said. "Get the gun." Shaun scrambled to her feet and ran toward it. She could hear Manchester fighting with Racetrack behind her. The sudden impact of stone floor made her realize she had been tripped. Effy calmly retrieved the gun and pointed it at her.

"Should I kill her?" she asked as Manchester gained the upper hand.

"Yes!" Manchester screamed as Racetrack punched his ribs and kicked him off.

"Okay."

BAM.

Shaun was reaching into the light struggling to find breath. She was relieved, ecstatic, hopeful as she moved further into the bright illumination.

"Hurry up!" they called for her. The fear someone was following them was still very much alive inside their hearts. And it would be for the rest of their lives. "Come on!"

"I'm trying!" she called back climbing the bricks. She saw a hand, the only thing she could see at that moment, the only thing that signified the past, the future, and what was going to help her out of the darkness she had been in for so long.

"Grab my hand, trust me." She clasped their warm fingers and felt them pull her the rest of the way up. Opening her eyes she smiled at the blue gaze that stared down at her. They wiped away the few splatters of blood that had painted her face. "I said we'd make it right?" she nodded. He pulled her close holding her tightly as if she'd disappear back through the door.

"Spot?" she questioned confused.

"I thought…" he trailed off burying his face in her hair. Of course it smelled of sweat, blood, sewers, and dirt, but she didn't pull away from him.

Shaun wasn't self conscious like she once had been. She could feel the confidence that Spot had given her swell within her heart as he breathed in her scent. For a moment Shaun had almost lost everything and now here she was with it all holding her close. To say for sure when she had fallen in love with him she wasn't certain. It could have been the day he kept her from jumping, or the day he found her in the maze, or the day she realized he knew exactly who she was without having to know her. Now it didn't matter. All that mattered was finding a way she could be with him. Inevitably she would have to see Mattie again, she would have to find Daniel Prescott, she would have to face her parents, and when that time came she would have a plan. But for now all she wanted was for them to be like this just for a little longer.

**A/N: Do you guys want me to keep giving you song suggestions? I had another one for this one but I didn't know if it was annoying. Um So here ya'll go. **

**Switch: Yay I'm glad you liked it! :)**

**Joker: Yeah Race and Shaun make a good team! hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**Scree: Usually in traumatic situations you make life long friends. And yay I'm glad you understood her weird dreams! **

**Lion: Aw I'm so glad you loved it! and I hope you enjoy this chapter. **


	14. Running up that Hill

**A/N: I wrote this chapter to two very different songs. So the first one is "Alice Practice" by Crystal Castles, and the second is "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit. Enjoy them! **

Chapter twelve- Running up that hill

"What about the bodies?" Race inquired as they stood in Manchester's study. Shaun stepped away from Spot and headed for his desk. She remembered the day he had captured her he had been writing in something. Running her fingers slowly over the open books she scanned the pages. Ink had dropped from his pen and soaked through a few of the names. Shaun's eyes widened as she grasped the leather journal. Written in neat lines were names and dates and columns that proclaimed dead or alive. As she flipped through them she realized it was all the captives Manchester had taken. None had survived, except for them. She dropped the book and sank into his leather chair.

"Shaun?" she noticed Race and Spot had been watching her.

"He was recording everything." She whispered motioning toward the journal.

"He's dead now." Spot said staring into the darkness of the maze. "Let's leave them there Race."

"Fine by me." Leaning forward Shaun retrieved the book again curious as to where her name was. It was on the last page underneath Racetrack's. _Shaun Kenneth, sold to me on September 5__th__, 1899, sold?_ She thought staring at Manchester's perfect script. "Shaun!" she jerked upright at the raised voice. "Are you with us?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Spot was watching her, his eyes narrowed. Quickly she attempted to disguise her emotions by smiling. "I was just reading this and…was happy that all of us don't have 'dead' next to our names."

"We're leaving." Spot replied studying her as he walked backward toward the door. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah." She pushed herself out of the chair and as Spot and Race turned their backs, she tore the page and stuffed it in her corset. If Spot had seen her he would no doubt be curious to the significance of the page, and a part of Shaun did not want him to read that she had been sold.

As they exited the study and treaded the familiar halls back to the front door she wondered if her parents had known all along exactly where she was. Could it be that James and Beth Kenneth had really _sold_ her? That they were aware of what was going to happen to her? Clenching her fists she looked up focusing her attention on Spot opening the door. The sunlight was blinding causing them to recoil into the home.

"We finally get out and we can barely leave." Racetrack commented shielding his eyes. Spot smirked, blinked his eyes, and then plunged himself into the light.

"I'm not stayin' in there anymore than I have to." He called back determined to adjust to the unyielding glow. Shaun smiled and squeezing Racetrack's shoulder for encouragement she followed him. Unlike Spot she had to shade her eyes which only made his ego a hundred times larger. He laughed loudly when Racetrack tripped down the steps and landed on his face. It was a rare occasion to hear Spot laugh and Shaun couldn't help but join him. Unfortunately it was at Racetrack's expense.

"Ya'll can laugh, go ahead!" he grumbled as he sat up dusting off his baggy clothes. "Sorry I'm not normal after being half starved in a sewer for months!"

"Aw Racetrack," Shaun grabbed his arm and helped him stand. "Ignore Spot he thinks he's invincible."

"Damn straight. Who was it that killed that bastard! Me!" he raised his chin and grabbed his suspenders. "Me."

"Whatever." Racetrack rolled his eyes. "If I hadn't hit him with that board ya'll would be dead right now." Shaun smiled as she listened to them argue over who was the real hero. The truth was it was both of them. She moved between the boys and grabbed their hands. Spot tried to pull away immediately complaining about his reputation but Shaun only tightened her grip.

"We can't walk around holdin' hands!" he yelled shaking her arm.

"I don't care." Shaun stated but eventually she released him. Spot stomped in front of them for a few moments before he paused. Shaun and Race watched him curiously stepping around him. "Spot…" she trailed off when she realized his hand was resting on his belt loop.

"My cane." Sighing she bit her lip unsure on how to tell him it was gone.

"Manchester broke it." Racetrack stated. "You'll find another one." Shaun grabbed the boy and pulled him back a few steps. Obviously he was unaware of Spot's attachment to the stick.

"Find another one?" Spot repeated his voice low and menacing.

"Great." Shaun muttered.

"I can't just find another one." Spot lunged forward grabbing Race's collar. "That cane was special dammit!" Racetrack held his hands up in surrender.

"Alright!"

"That bastard!" Spot shook him. "That bastard! I'm glad he's dead I should go back and kick his damn corpse!"

"Spot!" Shaun rested her hands on his arm. "I'm sorry it's gone. But you're going to make Race sick shaking him like that." Sighing audibly Spot released him and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Let's get something to eat." He grumbled once more moving ahead of both of them. Racetrack straightened his clothes muttering insults as they followed him. Shaun chuckled patting Race's back.

"He almost took my head off when I killed rats with it. Don't feel bad."

"Spot Conlon is crazy." Race stated. "I don't know how he expects us to get food with no money. Never mind it's freezing out here and we all have no jackets and baggy clothes." Shaun gasped.

Looking down she remembered she was barely dressed. If anyone from her parents circles saw her attire she would be shunned. Wrapping her arms around herself she checked street signs. Shaun had been so involved in the moment she hadn't noticed they were walking on busy streets; that bystanders were staring at them oddly and disapprovingly. They looked worse than the normal kids she saw calling out headlines, begging for food, or heading to factories. Not to mention her with her stockings and shift showing. Her bodice ripped and her corset exposed.

"What is he thinking!" she yelled running to catch up with Spot. "Spot!" she called grasping his shoulder. Just as she turned him to face her she heard a familiar voice.

"Matthew! Hurry up! We have the party tonight and we've decided not to leave you with Mrs. Forbes!" Shaun didn't hesitate and shoved Spot into the closest alley. Pressing him against the wall she leaned in, held her breath, and listened.

"Mama, do I have to go?" She closed her eyes. They were nearby she could tell from how close their voices were. Shaun couldn't look at them. She would not have Mattie see her half dressed and dirty. Her parents had to have told him some story of how Shaun was in a better place, or how'd she visit soon, and it would be hard for Mattie to know they had lied to him.

"What kind of question is that Matthew? Of course you have to go." Shaun knew that tone. She didn't have to see to know her mother was gripping Mattie's arm so hard he'd bruise. Or her eyes were burning with pure hatred. If she looked now she'd kill her.

"Shaun?" Spot whispered his voice gentle. She waited a few more minutes and allowed herself to breathe. Pressing her fists into her eyes she hoped she could prevent the tears.

"What will I say to him Spot?" she asked. "When I see Mattie." She paused wondering how surprised her parents would be if she showed up. The child they had sold. "Or my parents?" Positive she wouldn't lose her composure she looked at him. Spot was tense his eyes narrowed.

"I forgot." He said stepping toward the sidewalk.

"What do you mean?"

"I forgot where you came from."

"What are you saying?" Shaun's moment of pain dispersed replaced by confusion and anger.

"Go home Shaun."

"What?"

"I said go home."

"Where were you guys?" Race screamed a few feet away. He weaved through the crowd and stopped in front of them his arms crossed. "One second you guys are there and the next you're gone! Do you have any idea what that did to my nerves? I thought that guy had come to life and captured you again. Jeez give someone a warning when ya gonna go skulking off into some alley." He glanced between them his arms falling to his sides. "What's up?"

"Shaun's going home and we're going to eat." Spot answered grabbing Race's arm and dragging him forward. "See ya round Shaun."

"Oh no Spot Conlon." If it had been a few months ago she would have let him leave. Even now she knew it would be best to let Spot go, allow him to live his life, but she was too involved to say goodbye. "Don't walk away from me." She caught up with them and wrenched his hand off of Race. "I'm not going home. I have no intention of going home. I don't even have a home."

"What are you talkin' about huh?" he demanded his voice rising. "Ya just heard 'em yelling outside the alley. I know that was ya little brother."

"How?"

"I met him!" Shaun stared at him surprised.

"When?"

"Before I got taken. He was in central park with that homicidal dog."

"How was he?"

"He looked sick if ya ask me." Shaun lowered her gaze. The hatred for her parents intensified.

"Homicidal dog?" Racetrack asked raising his eyebrows at them. They ignored him.

"You don't know anything about that Spot. You don't know anything about my life before the maze. Sure you may know how I think but you don't know why."

"So what are you tryin' to tell me?" he asked crossing his arms.

"I'm not leaving. I want to stay with you guys." She took Racetrack's hand for emphasis. "Okay?"

"You're not living in Brooklyn."

"Ya guy's," Racetrack pulled away from her. "Honestly all of us have been gone for awhile now. Hell we don't even know what's happening in Manhattan let alone Brooklyn. And personally I want Shaun to stay with us too. I mean all of us went through something traumatic none of us can deny that we don't have a…bond or something right?" Spot rolled his eyes.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Oh Spot." Shaun laughed. "Let's just get food, and…I need clothes." Spot ran his gaze over her body and she blushed.

"That's for sure." She wanted to punch him but thought against it. Racetrack chuckled nervously. "Where ya gonna get that?" Spot asked sounding skeptical.

"I have a plan. Where are you getting food?"

"Remember that restaurant you followed me too?" she nodded. "There."

"You followed him?" Racetrack looked at them confused. "You guys knew each other before the maze?"

"Long story." Shaun responded. "I'll meet you both at that restaurant alright?"

"Where are you going?" Spot's tone grew protective.

"I already told you, to get clothes."

"We can go with you." Racetrack urged looking at Spot for support.

"No it's fine. You guys I'm not going to take long I promise I'll meet you there." They glanced at each other apprehensively. Shaun sighed. "Trust me." Spot reluctantly agreed and jerked his head in the direction of the restaurant.

"Let's go Race."

"What?"

"Let's go." Once Racetrack and Spot disappeared in the crowd Shaun turned and slowly traveled the familiar streets home. It was odd how Spot had been so ready to leave her and then he wasn't. She wasn't sure how to decipher his moods but she pushed it to the back of her mind. For now she wondered if Juliette still worked for her parents and whether or not she could retrieve clothes without being seen.

* * *

Shaun's house looked exactly the same but felt extremely different. She stood leaning against a brick wall peering at it from around the corner. As the sun dipped behind the tall buildings she shivered. The chill was not the cause of her trembling it was the aura that radiated toward her. Inside the large home were her parents; parents that had washed her from their hands as if she were trash.

Taking a deep breath she knocked quietly on the servants' door. She pressed her ear to the wood and listened. At the sound of footsteps she ducked behind a few boxes. Light flooded the space behind the house and Shaun carefully crawled forward to see who had answered.

"Hello?" Harold asked stepping past the threshold. Pulling her matted hair in her face she lowered her head and slid from behind the crates.

"Excuse me sir," she whispered. "Could ya get Juliette for me?" She didn't dare lift her gaze to watch Harold's reaction; instead she tensed preparing to run if he recognized her.

"Juliette? Does she know you?"

"Yes sir, she told me to come back here for some food. I'm really hungry sir." Harold stood quietly for a few moments before turning back into the light.

"Alright." He said closing the door behind him. Sighing relieved she slumped against the steps holding her chest. It didn't take long for Juliette to emerge into the space with a basket of day old bread. She obviously was confused as she stared at Shaun.

"Excuse me," she said. Shaun stood moving away from the door and closer to the side of the house. "I don't remember ever meeting you, but I brought food anyway." Shaun waited a few minutes before turning to face her. Juliette furrowed her brows studying her. "Do I know you?" she inquired extending the basket in Shaun's direction.

"Juliette close the door please." Hesitantly she obeyed. "It's me, Shaun." Gasping the maid set the basket down and moved closer.

"Shaun?" she repeated. She nodded turning so the last rays of sunset could catch her features. "Oh my goodness…" she breathed raising her hand to her mouth. "What happened to you?" Shaun couldn't imagine how she looked to her.

"I'll tell you another time. But right now I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"Can you sneak me some clothes? It doesn't matter what it looks like. Just something very plain." Juliette sighed.

"Your mother will suspect something."

"Say that you're going to clean my room."

"You don't have a room anymore, Miss." Shaun watched Juliette's expression change from eager to help to pity and compassion.

"What?" She whispered.

"Your mother and father packed all your things up and made it another office."

"Where did my possessions go?" the maid shifted nervously.

"Some they sold and others are in the attic." Shaun turned away from her balancing herself against the wall. "Miss?" Juliette reached for her.

"Nevermind Juliette."

"Miss…"

"Don't worry about me okay?" she stepped out of Juliette's reach. "Please don't tell anyone you saw me."

"Master Matthew misses you and I'm sure he'll want to know you're okay." Shaun's hands turned into fists.

"Not even him Juliette."

"But Miss,"

"No!" she whipped around to face the young girl. "I don't want him to find me; I don't want my parents to know where I am. Don't you understand Juliette? If they can erase me I'll erase them."

"Miss?" she looked concerned.

"One day Juliette I'll let Mattie know I'm okay. Not now." Shaun steadily walked away from the back entrance. Juliette called after her but she ignored her pleas.

She didn't look over her shoulder at the place she once called home. There was no love or desire to return. Instead her heart constricted with pain and hate. How could they do this? She wondered as she searched for the restaurant Spot and Racetrack had gone too. How could they have thrown away all of her things? Lied to Mattie? Abuse him in her place? Sell her to that man? What could either of them possibly gain from her demise and their cruelty?

She stumbled in front of the building called Tibby's. Closing her eyes she moved toward the alley she remembered Spot walking to. Pressing her back against the brick she slid to the dusty ground and pulled her knees to her chest. Shaun was breaking. What could she do to save herself?

"Shaun." She released a sob at his voice. She could hear him step toward her. "What are you doing?" he inquired kneeling in front of her. Warm hands rested on her arms. "Get up."

"Spot," she cried.

"I didn't know tryin' to find clothes would be so horrible."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you let me jump?"

"I told you then. I didn't want to fish out anymore dead bodies."

"I'm serious." She looked up her face a mess tears blurring her vision. All she could see was the intensity of his blue eyes. "Why didn't you?"

"Because you didn't deserve to die." He tugged her arms loose from around her knees. "Let's go."

"Spot." She stood as he did and flung her arms around his neck. She held him close as if he was going to turn to dust at any moment. Spot's arms remained at his side but he allowed her to cry into his shoulder. Once her sobs reduced to hiccups and then silence he gently pushed her away from him. Digging in his pocket he produced a napkin and gave it to her.

"Ya look like hell. I'm not having ya meet the others looking like that." She laughed as she blew her nose.

"You love commenting on my appearance don't you?"

"When ya look like some half dead monster of course." He wrenched open the kitchen door. "Hurry up." She smoothed down her hair, wiped her eyes, dropped the napkin on the ground and followed him inside. The kitchen staff gave her various looks. Some were leering others disgusted. She attempted to cover herself. "What are ya'll looking at?" Spot demanded. Most turned away others narrowed their eyes in defiance.

"Spot I'm half dressed." He shrugged.

"Don't worry 'bout what others think."

"Well…I don't really but when I look like this." She gestured to her clothes. Spot didn't look. As they entered the restaurant he barked for a boy named Snipeshooter. The tiny kid dashed toward him looking her way momentarily.

"Give her your shirt." He commanded and the boy readily obeyed. Quickly he removed the long sleeved shirt, which was a brown button up, reveling another long sleeved shirt. Shaun thanked him as she shoved her arms in and buttoned it. She wondered how the young boy wasn't extremely warm wearing so many layers.

Spot had already seated himself at a table and after nodding to the boy she maneuvered her way to him. Automatically she sat next to him averting her gaze to her lap. "This is Shaun." Spot introduced her. She looked up at the boys.

Racetrack sat across from her smiling encouragingly. Next to him was a rather tall boy with dirty blonde hair and a red bandanna around his neck. His arm was resting on the back of the chair a brunette girl occupied. She smiled timidly. Next to Shaun was a boy with curly brown hair who was currently scolding a young boy that reminded her of Mattie. The other side was Spot and next to him was a boy with blonde hair and an eye patch.

"I'm Jack." The boy with the bandanna responded. "This is Sarah."

"Hello." Shaun smiled back.

"That's her brothers David and the younger one is Les." Jack continued the introductions. The little boy waved profusely at her before dashing to another table with more newsboys. David inclined his head.

"Nice to meet you." He said. She nodded.

"And I'm Kid Blink." The eye patch boy announced winking at her. Spot's eyes became slits. Kid Blink cleared his throat before picking up the menu.

"I'm glad to meet you all." Shaun said. "You're Spot's friends?"

"You could say that." Jack answered reaching for his glass of water. "I'm more of a colleague." Spot snorted.

"He's more like some annoying guy I have to deal with."

"How am I annoying?" Jack retorted.

"Racetrack did you order any food?" Spot changed the subject.

"Yeah."

"We're sharing a sandwich." Spot informed Shaun passing her a glass of water.

"Oh." She hoped her stomach wouldn't protest like it had before. Spot seemed unconcerned when the waiter placed the plate in front of him.

"Spot," Jack said. "We have some serious things we need to discuss."

"Yeah I figured."

"I mean we _all_ need to discuss."

"I get it." Spot glared at the boy. "We'll plan something but right now I just wanna eat. Is that okay with ya Jackey boy?"

"Sure." Shaun noticed the sudden tension.

"So are you guys' newsboys?" Shaun asked watching as Spot placed her half of the sandwich on a napkin.

"Yeah." Kid Blink said eyeing his own plate hungrily. "We sell the papes."

"How's business?"

"Good. Not a lot of competition." Everyone shifted uneasily in their seats.

"Blink." Race warned.

"Spot you sell newspapers?" Shaun inquired.

"I thought we covered this."

"Not really."

"Yeah I do. Eat." She sighed. The others were silent as they watched her and Spot gobble down their sandwiches. She wondered vaguely why they seemed confused.

Conversation was limited and strained for the rest of the meal and when it was finished everyone threw change on the table and stood.

"I'll come see ya tomorrow." Spot said when they exited the restaurant. Jack nodded as he reached for Sarah's hand. The girl held his between both of hers and the warm smile brightened. Shaun felt the urge to take Spot's as well but she knew he'd resist.

"Where are ya gonna go Shaun?" Racetrack asked.

"With Spot." Her answer was quick and definite. The looks of confusion returned to the people she had met. Spot rolled his eyes.

"Shaun you're not goin' with me. I asked Jack before you came if ya could stay in Manhattan."

"What?" she turned to him her arms crossed.

"You're not coming with me."

"What are you talking about? Of course I am."

"See ya tomorrow." He waved at her and began to walk away.

"Spot Conlon! You are not leaving me behind!"

"Shut up!" he called from behind his shoulder. Turning to the others she waved. They all looked at her as if she was unaware of the decision she was making. As if they knew something she didn't. Ignoring it she spoke quickly.

"Nice to meet you all again and thanks Jack but I'm going with Spot. See you later Racetrack." She had to run to catch up with him.

"Dammit Shaun." He growled. "Why can't ya just listen to me like everyone else?"

"Spot I don't know any of them."

"You know Racetrack. You'll be fine."

"Spot I…" she trailed off. What could she say to explain her determination not to leave him? She couldn't tell him she loved him. He sighed and his expression softened.

"Brooklyn's not a place for you Shaun."

"I survived that maze. I think I can handle Brooklyn."

"Shaun I don't know what's happened since I've been gone. Bad things could happen to ya, you might see things you don't want to."

"Spot," she stopped him by grabbing his arm. "I know you wouldn't let anything happen to me." They locked gazes. It felt like the seconds were ticking by slowly as they stood facing each other. Spot's expression was intense and surprised. She couldn't understand why he looked at her like he did.

Gently shaking her off his arm he lifted his hand to her face. Lightly he brushed his fingers down her cheek stepping forward. Her heart raced as he drew closer. Licking her lips she wanted to ask him what he was doing but the words wouldn't form. His fingers paused underneath her chin. Carefully he moved his thumb over her bottom lip never averting his eyes from hers.

"Don't have so much faith in me." He whispered. "I'm not the person you think I am." She closed her eyes wishing he'd kiss her. Shaun didn't have the courage to close the distance between them.

"Then don't make me think that way." She replied her voice barely audible. After a few minutes she felt the absence of his presence and his grip. Shaun's legs were seemingly nonexistent as she remained in the place he left her. Reluctantly she opened her eyes and sighed when he was no longer there.

"Hurry up, I won't wait for ya if you fall behind!" Spot told her already halfway to the bridge. Smiling she jogged after him falling into step beside him. Hesitantly she reached for his hand and relished when the calm warmth spread over her at his proximity. Spot didn't let go.

Not until he pointed to a large warehouse and said. "This is Brooklyn. And that's where I live."

**A/N: Another chapter down! I can feel the evil perfectionist editor rearing its ugly head as I continue writing. A part of me feels like I need to take all the chapters down and rewrite them again haha. I'm trying really hard not to do that. Anyways hope you all enjoyed this. **

**Joker: I'm glad you loved the last chapter, and this one answered all your questions I'm sure. :) **

**Scree: I really loved Abby too. And don't worry that wasn't the end of the story yet! **

**Ealasaid: Yes, there is. But there's still a ways to go before the story ends. **

**Switch: I'm glad you like the song suggestions! :) I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. **

**Mighty: Aw, everyones sad about Abby. I'm glad everyone liked her though, haha. Thanks for reading!**


	15. Hometown Glory

**A/N: So my friend and I spent an entire afternoon picking theme songs for newsies, and Spot's was "I'm Shipping up to Boston," by the Dropkick Murphys. So guess what? That's my song suggestion for the first part, and the second part is "Hometown Glory," by Adele. **

Chapter thirteen- Hometown Glory

Surprise and contempt was etched in every line of each boy's face. Some were more surprised than seemingly upset at their leader's return but each stood backs straight as if saluting Spot Conlon. Shaun gripped the ends of Snipeshooter's shirt as she noticed the various glances. A few were curious; the others made her blush.

"What are ya'll looking at?" Spot demanded. No one replied. She watched the smaller boy move among the crowd, his presence alone commanding attention and respect. "I get back and this is what I see ya'll doing?" he pointed to the boys who were lying in puddles of blood. "Killin' each other?"

"You've been gone for awhile Spot." A tall boy pushed the kids aside pausing in front of Spot. "A long while."

"It hasn't been that long." Spot answered his tone low and venomous.

"Long enough for us to choose a different leader."

"And that would be you?" Spot laughed stepping back from the boy's shadow. He stood at least a few inches taller than him. "You all wanna go with him?" he shook his head turning back to his opponent. "What did you do to earn your place? Kill everyone who didn't agree?"

"You sayin' I can't be a leader by choice? That none of these guys see that I'm gonna be a better one than you?"

"I think everyone knows I'm better than you, Akdo." Spot stepped forward until he was directly in front of him. Smirking he spit on the Akdo's shoes. Shaun gasped when he pounded his fist into Spot's cheek. Dashing forward she bent to help him up.

"Spot!" Akdo snatched her arm shoving her to the side.

"Ya know what Spot, glad ya came back, ya brought me some entertainment!" he reached for Spot again. Shaun regained her balance and used her strength to push him away. Akdo stumbled and growled as he turned toward her. Lifting his arm to strike Shaun closed her eyes waiting for the familiar sting. Spot pushed himself up and wiped the blood from his mouth.

"Don't touch her." His eyes were narrowed.

"Don't what?" Akdo laughed. "I can't hear you." Shaun peeked through her lashes to find Spot had launched himself on top of the Brooklyn boy. Currently he had the upper hand and was punching his face side to side relentlessly. Shaun made a move to stop him when she felt some one grab her shoulder. She spun around jerking from underneath their grip. The boy raised his hands in defense before shaking his head.

"This isn't your fight." He said. His brown eyes were calm and gentle. "You have to let Spot do what he needs to do." She turned and grimaced as Akdo pulled Spot up by his hair only to jam his fist into his stomach. Shaun clenched her teeth attempting to suppress the urge to save him.

"See Conlon!" Akdo exclaimed. "I'm better than you!" he threw Spot into a few crates laughing when they fell on top of him. "I'm leader now, not you." Akdo shifted his gaze to Shaun and smiled as he studied her appearance. "As leader I decide if my boys can kill each other and I can take your little girlfriend here." He began walking toward her. Shaun stepped back reaching behind her for something to defend herself with. Her eyes widened as she associated him with Manchester. Once again she was being hunted. Before he could reach her Spot was behind him flinging a crate onto the boy's head. His chest was heaving up and down as he caught his breath.

"You are not leader." He said kicking the boy over so he could face him. Akdo groaned as Spot jammed his boot onto his neck. "And I told you not to touch her." He applied pressure watching as Akdo's eyes bulged and he clawed at his ankle for air. "Didn't I say that?" Spot whispered.

Shaun watched in horror as Akdo's life hung in the balance. She had watched Spot kill Manchester's maid, watched him place the gun to the back of her head and pull the trigger. Effy's blood had coated Shaun's face and her body had fallen forward into her arms. The moment she had shoved the corpse away from her Spot had kicked Manchester away from Racetrack and without second thought blew his brains out. Manchester's blood stained Spot's boots even now as he continued to strangle Akdo.

The Brooklyn newsboys said nothing as his hands fell from Spot's leg and his head rolled to the side. Spot lifted his boot and looked at the crowd. "I'm your leader!" he announced. "And if I see any of you kill another one of ya you'll end up just like Striker!" the boys shifted and murmured as Spot stared each one down. "Spot Conlon is back."

Shaun realized he wouldn't look at her. Instead he turned his back and stepped away from the boys and towards the warehouse. The brown eyed newsie from earlier patted her shoulder before following him. Shaun was uncertain of what she should do. A few boys looked her way but when she caught their gaze they turned their heads and quietly dispersed.

Some picked up Akdo's body and she watched as they trudged towards the docks. Mechanically she moved to a set of crates and sank down. Shaun was trying to put the images together in her mind. Spot had killed three people in one day and she had seen no remorse in his eyes. Now she understood why Spot hadn't wanted her to come. She would have to see exactly why he knew how to survive. Spot hadn't wanted her to know who he really was.

"Excuse me!" she said standing and grabbing the sleeve of a passing newsie. "Can you tell me how to get back to Manhattan?" he tore his arm away from her and backed up.

"Look I don't know who ya are or why you're with Spot so I ain't doing something that could get me killed." Shaun sighed.

"Please just point me in the right direction." She pleaded.

"Cavalier," she jumped at Spot's voice. "Take her to Manhattan." Lowering her head she refused to look back. What would she say to him? She wasn't entirely positive why she was leaving in the first place. Was it because she saw something that scared her? Or knew Spot would prefer for her to go?

"Right, of course!" the boy squeaked. "This way." he allowed Shaun to go first. She wiped away the tears as she walked embarrassed to look at the newsies she passed. Somehow Shaun felt as if the events that happened within the last few minutes were her fault. She knew that the fact Spot had brought her there had been abnormal.

* * *

When they were in Manhattan she stopped. The boy, Cavalier, stopped too. "We're not there yet." He said his voice still nervous.

"Has Spot taken other girls to Brooklyn?" she asked.

"No." he gently tugged at her arm. "Come on we still have a ways to go."

"Has Spot killed other newsies?" since leaving Brooklyn Shaun raised her eyes and stared at Cavalier. He shied away from her gaze and scratched his head. "Tell me." She demanded.

"Yes."

"How many?"

"Akdo makes two." Cavalier shrugged. "That's not a bad record. Hell Raiser has a larger casualty list." She turned away from him and began walking. The boy hurried in front of her.

"Why did he kill the other one?"

"Look," Cavalier sighed. "Spot's scary I'm not gonna deny it. Hell he's infamous in New York, and there's a reason for it. But he's a good leader. Killin' people doesn't change that. And I'm not gonna give you all the details alright?" Shaun mulled over his statement as he led her the rest of the way to the Manhattan newsboy lodging house. Hesitantly she followed him through the open door. "Special delivery!" he called. Kid Blink jumped over the railing of the steps and tackled Cavalier.

"Bout time ya came for a visit!" Blink screamed knocking off his hat and ruffling his hair. Cavalier complained and cursed as he shoved him away.

"Don't mess up my outfit! I got a date tonight!" he smoothed out his clothes. "Anyway Conlon sends this your way." He gestured toward Shaun. Kid Blink raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Thought ya were gonna stay with Spot?" he asked. Shaun shrugged. He glanced at Cavalier who must have signaled something since Kid Blink's expression grew solemn. "Racetrack!" he screamed up the steps.

"Whaddaya want huh? I'm tryin' to get some sleep around here." Race whined as he trudged down the stairs. Blink jerked his head in her direction and Race brightened. "Shaun!" he was by her side in a matter of seconds. "Is Spot with ya?" she shook her head. Race furrowed his brows at her demeanor.

"How bout ya take her upstairs to Jack or something." Blink suggested. "Ya guys can figure stuff out." Racetrack nodded and smiled at her.

"Yeah. Right. Follow me." He extended his arms about the room. "I'll give ya the grand tour." As they passed Kid Blink and Cavalier each of them exchanged looks before Racetrack took her the rest of the way upstairs. "Jack we got a visitor!" Race announced as they entered the top floor. There were a few boys that Shaun recognized from the restaurant. Their reactions were similar to Brooklyn's except it was mainly looks of curiosity.

"Shaun." Jack said seeming unsurprised to see her again. "I thought you might be back." he gave her his hand. She shook it and offered a weak smile. "So what brings you here?" she assumed by his reaction he already knew the answer.

"I've decided not to stay in Brooklyn," she paused collecting herself before continuing. "Spot mentioned that he wanted me to stay here originally, and I was wondering if that offer was still available." Jack nodded his head thoughtfully as he turned and picked up a vest.

"This is a boys lodging house," he began buttoning the brown garment over his blue long sleeved shirt.

"Your right, don't worry about it." She interrupted.

"Hold on a minute." He chuckled. "I didn't say we were gonna banish you."

"Well it would be inappropriate for me to live here. I understand." He shrugged.

"It would be but if ya need a place to stay than your welcome here. But it's not free lodgin' you have to pay rent."

"Aw come on Jack." Race protested. "Kloppman's not gonna mind if we got an extra person."

"It's okay Race." Shaun said nodding her approval. "Paying rent is the least I can do." As they came to a conclusion she wondered where she would produce the money. Shaun didn't work; she had no home, and no skills. It seemed as if she would have to learn how to live on her own. No longer could she afford to be dependent on others.

"Why don't ya take her to Kloppman Race and figure out if ya guys can make sleeping arrangements." Racetrack obeyed and draped his arm around her shoulders. Shaun was grateful for the Italian's humor and comfort. The month's events were catching up to her and without Spot to distract her she began to obsess over every memory. Not only memories of the maze but of the scary resemblance Spot's face had to Manchester's as he murdered Akdo. Shivering she stepped closer to Race.

"Don't worry they'll be nice to you."

"What?" she asked when they paused in front of a door.

"Well Sarah wanted to have a welcome back party, kinda, for our return, and she's bringing over a ton of food apparently and the other Manhattan boys will be here along with some other Burroughs newsies. So I'm just tellin' ya that they'll be nice and don't worry 'bout it."

"Oh," she forced a laugh. "Right. Sarah seems really nice." Racetrack looked at her concerned before knocking. At a muffled 'come in' they entered a small room that was similar to an office. An older gentleman sat at a small desk his feet propped up on top. He was leaning in a chair reading a newspaper and at Racetrack's greeting he peered over the edge of it. The newsboy began to explain the situation as the elderly man nodded throughout.

"As ya can see Shaun's a girl and Jack doesn't think she can stay up there with all of us." Race concluded.

"Sounds like I agree with Jack. A newsboy lodging house is no place for a girl."

"Well he wants her to stay here, she's gonna pay rent too, but where will she sleep?" Kloppman moved with old age as he set the paper down and straightened. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose he studied her.

"I have a small room down the hall here." He mentioned resting his hand gently on Shaun's shoulder. "I'll show it to you." He reminded her of a helpful grandfather as he led them toward the room. It was only a few steps away from Kloppman's office. The room was dusty and smelled ancient as they stepped inside. Kloppman was messing with the door which had jammed when he attempted to open it. "I'm sure you can tell we don't use it." He chuckled crossing the room to a dirt encrusted window. "This looks out into the alley behind the lodging house."

"There's an alley back there?" Race asked using his sleeve to create a circle in the glass. Shaun smiled as she watched him.

"This is great, thanks so much." She said leaning against the brass bed frame.

"I always give my new lodgers two months to come up with rent." He said nudging Racetrack toward the exit. "If you're having any problems let me know I can extend the date." She nodded.

"Don't worry I'll pay on time." He smiled knowingly.

"I'll see if I can find some rags and buckets for you. This place needs a good cleaning if it's going to have an attendant."

"Take your time."

"Why don't we give her some space, huh Race? You can help me find these things." Racetrack was reluctant to go but after her encouragement and Kloppman's insistence he followed the older man out of the room.

Shaun sighed and sat on the creaky bed. Dust created a cloud about her as she stared at the small circle Race created. It allowed slivers of light to illuminate how dusty the floor was. She laughed when she saw they had left footprints. Ignoring how dirty the mattress was she fell backward coughing a bit at the dirt before closing her eyes. Her thoughts were scattered and she was tired. Despite what had happened in Brooklyn with Spot she still loved him and as she fell asleep she attempted to make sense of her thoughts, of her reaction, and how she would fix the abrupt rift between her and Brooklyn.

* * *

Shaun stood in front of the cleaning supplies unsure of how to go about the business of fixing her room. She had seen servants clean her home countless times but the idea of her doing it herself was odd and out of place. Taking a deep breath she was determined to do typical household chores and swiftly removed Snipeshooter's shirt.

Grabbing the broom she began to sweep the dust into a neat pile by the door. The task was methodical and soothing and she found herself humming happily. Shaun wondered what Juliette or Spot would think if they saw her. Her humming ceased as she remembered Spot's tone when he asked Cavalier to escort her. He'd never admit it but Shaun had hurt him. She knew the Brooklyn leader the same way he knew her.

"Do you need some help?" she started placing her hand over her heart. "I'm sorry," Sarah chuckled. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, its fine." Shaun smiled. "I'd really like some help actually. I've never done this before." She flushed embarrassed at her admission. Sarah reminded her of a mother Shaun had never had. It seemed absurd considering Sarah was her age but her maternal compassion was obvious in every movement as she crossed the room.

"Honestly?" she questioned rolling up her sleeves.

"My family were very fortunate to be financially blessed." Shaun stumbled over her words hoping Sarah wouldn't resent her past life as did Spot. She found herself drawn to Sarah's charisma and realized she wanted them to be friends.

"What a difference it must be to live here then." She replied pushing the brass bed against another wall. There was no judgment in her statement, it merely was an observation.

"It is but I've never felt more at home." Sarah gently took the broom from Shaun's hands her eyes bright with understanding.

"Go get water from the back. If you're not sure where it is ask one of the boys." She smiled. "Racetrack seems overly helpful when it comes to matters concerning you." Shaun shrugged.

"We went through a lot together." Sarah's expression softened.

"I've only heard a little about the kidnappings. Jack's extremely protective over what I hear involving 'newsie politics.'" Her imitation of his New York accent was perfect. Shaun laughed causing Sarah to grin.

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you get the whole story." Shaun picked up the bucket. "Do we need soap?"

"Kloppman will find some for you." Their conversation ended and Shaun exited the room and headed in the direction towards the front.

"Race?" Shaun called as she climbed the stairs. There was no one in the bunking room and Kloppman was absent from his office. Raising her eyebrows she followed the hall, smiled at Sarah as she passed, and stepped into the alley out back. Boxes and milk crates were piled up as she searched for a water pump. Relieved when she found one she set the bucket underneath the spicket.

By the time she had filled it with water and discovered the soap in Kloppman's office Sarah had taken the dirt from the room and pushed the bed into the hall. "Wow." Shaun said setting the water down and handing her the bar of soap.

"I'm used to cleaning." She said rubbing the soap against the sides of the bucket until suds began to appear. "I have to do it fast before my brothers get home and make a mess." There was no anger only love when she talked about David and Les. As she showed Shaun how to mop and discussed her home life she felt the warmth she normally received around Spot. Shaun's thoughts drifted to a future of her dressed in plain gown, like Sarah, running after toddlers in a small quaint house. She gasped when her husband returning from work smiling was Spot Conlon. Was that who she imagined in her future?

"Are you alright?" Sarah asked resting a gentle hand on her arm. Shaun nodded.

"Oh yes sorry I was just day dreaming."

"I do that a lot too, especially now that I found Jack." She sighed. "Mama tells me to keep my head out of the clouds all the time."

"Do you think you'll marry Jack?" Shaun asked shaking her head, when Spot kissing her after she set dinner on the table image appeared, hoping to keep her daydreams away. Sarah blushed.

"Oh my." She giggled. "I've thought about it." They finished mopping and sat in front of Shaun's room waiting for the floor to dry before continuing their cleaning. "I don't know how Jack feels though. I know he wants to move away from New York but I'm not sure I could leave my family." Shaun leaned her head back and listened envious. She wished she could have a family as kind and caring as hers. Closing her eyes she thought of Mattie and realized at least one person loved her. "What about you Shaun?" she asked pulling her back into reality.

"What?"

"Your family, aren't they worried about you?" Shaun wrapped her arms around her knees and shook her head. "That's a horrible thing to say I'm sure they are." Sarah insisted patting her arm.

"No they really aren't. My parents I mean. My younger brother is though."

"Why would you say your parents aren't?" Shaun turned to stare at Sarah. Their gazes locked and she wondered if she could confide in her. Ask her opinion on Manchester's records. Deciding against it she looked away.

"I don't really want to talk about it," she mumbled. "If that's okay?" Sarah stood.

"Of course it is." She extended a hand toward her. "The floors almost dry let's see if we can find laundry supplies." She gestured toward the bed. "You need to have clean bedding." Shaun followed her thankful Sarah had changed the subject.

"I heard you were having a party, unfortunately I wasn't paying attention when Race said when."

"Oh yes!" Sarah exclaimed checking in various closets. "It's tomorrow night, Mama and I need plenty of time to cook enough food for the boys." She smiled warmly as they trudged up to the bunking room.

"Do you think I could help?" Shaun ventured. If she was planning on having a quaint life she would need to learn domestics. "I have no idea how to cook but I was just wondering…" she trailed off. Sarah turned to her and grasped her shoulders.

"We'd be glad to have you help." Her tone seemed to be demanding. Shaun smiled.

"Okay. Tomorrow I was actually going to look for a job, so maybe I could meet you somewhere?" Sarah picked up a large tub and placed in front of the stairs before searching for other things.

"I could help you find one." She suggested finding another item they needed. "I saw a few ads recently."

"Sounds like a plan." They smiled at each other and when Sarah explained the other things they needed Shaun set off to find them. Her hectic thoughts earlier dispersed and she focused on her cleaning tasks instead of what she couldn't change.

**A/N: So I hope this chapter was good and you all enjoyed it. I feel like it is a shift from the previous tone but no worries it all has a point. I had to write an idea page to organize my thoughts so everything should be moving along. I'm not a fan of Sarah or Jack but I decided to give her a place and make her likable. OH NO! As I'm writing this to you all I found something that hasn't correlated! Okay, well anyway if any of you see my HUGE mistake in this chapter I'm going to write something in to fix it and make it fit. After all I thankfully have a story line that can easily be molded. I guess its good to go back and read everything I've written and make notes, why don't I ever learn? **

**Ell: It's fine to be confused :3 I hope I cleared everything up earlier. **

**Ealasaid: She definitely is. Thank you! **

**Joker: Now that I've found the mistake I'm really feeling like I should take them all down! But thanks for relating :D I hope you liked this chapter thanks so much for reading and reviewing. **

**Switch: she finds boys with swagger in Brooklyn. haha. thank you! thanks for reading and reviewing! **

**Scree: You mentioning what it was like returning to the 'real world' was majorr inspiration. I felt like I wasn't doing justice to the idea of how the maze can honestly affect the way they live their lives now, or how they feel doing normal things. So thanks for that :D It might not be mentioned in this chapter but I have written that recently in other chapters! thanks for reading! **


	16. Here Goes Nothing

**A/N: The song suggestion is "Here goes nothing" by Nevershoutnever. **

Chapter fourteen- Here goes nothing

Spot Conlon was King of Brooklyn. Again. Everything was normal, running smoothly, the threat to his boys was dead, and he should be happy. Wrong. He sat his legs swinging over the edge of the dock as he listened to the water gently wash against the posts. Often the sound had soothed him but now it made him restless. Shifting his gaze from the murky waves he settled it upon the Brooklyn Bridge. Images of Shaun surged in his mind crashing against him like the water below him. Clenching his jaw he turned away.

What was it about her? His boys noticed he was preoccupied, and his mask was crumbling. At one time Spot Conlon had been able to hide his emotions, had been able to run Brooklyn with confidence. Now all he could think about was the look on Shaun's face as he stomped the life out of Akdo. Akdo had been a constant threat to Spot the moment he had taken leadership, but he hadn't challenged the newsboy. It seemed pointless to begin a fight with one of his boys if they merely talked without doing anything. Besides there were too many that would have followed Spot loyally and Akdo had known it. It was the disappearances of the newsboys that had upset newsie politics and it made sense that when Spot was out of the picture Akdo would have taken over, and it made sense that Spot had to kill him.

How could he explain any of this to Shaun? She lived in a world where murder and survival were nonexistent. Despite the affects the maze had on her self preservation she was still a little rich girl playing dangerously close to the edge. Shaun Kenneth would never be a street kid, this wasn't the life Spot wanted for her. He ran his hands angrily through his hair. The truth of how he felt about her was surfacing and he didn't want to believe it.

It had been the moment at the bridge when she looked at him. She had been about to fling herself over the railing but Spot could see the fire that still burned inside her. He knew the feeling very well of wanting to disappear but he also understood determination. Shaun would have regretted it while she was falling suffocating against the rushing wind. That was when he had begun to feel something for her, and then again when she was about to enter the maze. Spot couldn't stand the idea of her dying, of her being hunted like some animal, and then he felt it when he found her alive. She had been everything he knew she was and he wanted her to realize it.

Because even now as Spot stood and headed toward the warehouse he couldn't live without her just like he couldn't live without her then. Spot Conlon needed her. The idea was foreign to him. He had grown up not needing anyone, not getting too close, but now all he wanted to do was chase after Shaun and beg her to forgive him. Love was crazy, unreasonable, and something Spot wished had left him alone.

"Spot?" he glanced up to find Patriot's gaze. "Are you alright?"

"Of course." He grunted brushing past the newsie.

"You've seemed…distracted, lately." Spot feigned nonchalance.

"That's all in your head if ya ask me." He entered the empty warehouse and plopped down in a chair.

"Cavalier says that girl is doing fine." Patriot reported as he sat across from him. "And he brings back messages from the other boroughs."

"I don't really wanna hear the messages. And the girls name is Shaun."

"Oh sorry." Spot shrugged. "Who is she?" he smirked glad that at least one newsie had enough guts to question her significance. Usually the only girl they saw was Viola and it was strictly at Al's or on the streets. Spot had never brought her to the warehouse nor attempted to defend her honor. But Viola was different than Shaun. Viola didn't need him.

"I don't wanna talk about her." He stood abruptly deciding how he felt about Shaun would remain a secret. At least until he was positive he loved her as much as he thought he did. "I'm gonna see if I can sell anything today." Before Patriot had a chance to ask any more questions Spot was out of the warehouse and halfway to the distribution office.

* * *

"I'm impressed." Racetrack informed her as he stood in the doorway of her bedroom. Shaun brushed her hair back and smiled triumphantly.

"Sarah helped." She explained returning to making her bed. "I heard all of you leaving early this morning." Race nodded leaning against the door jam.

"It's lunch break now." Shaun nodded. "Do you wanna come with me and the guys to get something to eat?"

"Actually I'm going out with Sarah." Race sighed.

"You both have grown close for such a short time."

"Are you jealous?" Shaun giggled.

"No!" he exclaimed straightening. "What are ya guys going out for?"

"I need to find a job and Sarah said she'd help, and then I'm going to help with finishing up the food for tonight." Racetrack smiled resting an ink stained hand on his stomach.

"Good, I love home cooked food." Shaun smiled, grabbed the jacket Kid Blink had lent her, and pushed Race away from her room. "Did Kloppman see this?" he asked when she closed the door behind her.

"He said we did a good job. For a minute I thought he was going to ask Sarah and I to clean the rest of the lodging house." Race laughed.

"I wouldn't be surprised. We're guys, we don't clean."

"I noticed." She waved goodbye. "I'll see you tonight!" and then Shaun tugged on the coat and exited the building. The temperatures had dropped she realized as the wind gusted against her. As she read the directions Sarah gave her she was thankful she had also provided a new dress. It felt nice to dispose of the remains of her clothes. Like she was throwing away her previous life, throwing away the memories of the maze.

_The maze_ she thought tensing at the images of confining tunnels and eerie darkness. It had been so long since she had moved through the open, with no one behind her about to take her life. Of course the fear would overwhelm her but she did her best to remind herself of where she was. Racetrack, however, was having difficulty adjusting to his life.

He would consistently wake up screaming and refused to calm down until Shaun comforted him. And he hadn't sold one newspaper. According to the other boys she had overheard Race had lost his talent. They whispered that he wouldn't sell alone and glanced over his shoulder every five seconds. Shaking her head Shaun pushed Race's condition to the back of her mind. Today she had to find a job and it would take complete concentration to convince someone she was worth hiring.

* * *

Shaun flung herself on a bench sighing in frustration. Sarah smiled at her sympathetically as she situated herself beside her.

"It's alright, we still have a few more ads to reply too." Shaun shook her head.

"It's no use. No one wants me." Sarah patted her compassionately as she pulled the papers from her apron.

"Not true!" she smoothed a crumpled one out and studied it. "This one sounds promising." She showed her the paper and Shaun reluctantly took it.

"Fine." She grumbled. Sarah grabbed her arm and helped her up.

"That's the right attitude to have!" she laughed as she led Shaun toward the shop. It took five minutes to reach _Corner Books_. Sarah nodded encouragingly as she pointed to a bench across the way. "I'll wait for you." Shaun took a deep breath and entered. A tiny bell announced her entrance but no one was there to greet her. She moved timidly toward the front desk. It was a small store, homey, with shelves floor to ceiling of books. With another look around she stepped forward running her fingers over the spines of the leather editions.

"Can I help you?" she jumped releasing a small shriek as she turned. Standing behind the counter was a young boy, about fifteen, with his brows raised in curiosity.

"Ah, y-yes." She stammered shakily producing the paper. "I saw an ad that you needed an employee and I was wondering if the position was still open?" the boy shrugged his shoulders before grabbing a stack of books and moving from behind the desk.

"Yeah it is." He replied disappearing into a row of shelves. Shaun waited before following him. "Do you have experience keeping books?" he questioned when she discovered him in the back.

"No." she wrung her hands unsure if she should help. He bent grabbing a few books and after several minutes of searching replaced them.

"Well then I don't think you're what my father wants."

"Is your father here? Perhaps I could talk to him and convince-" he turned to face her his eyes narrowed.

"I said you're not what he wants." She blinked in surprise. "Good day." He finished organizing the books and stepped away from her.

"Wait!" Shaun called dashing after him. "Please give me a chance, I'm a fast learner and I know I can do it. I may not have any book keeping skills, but I can speak three languages not including English and am well versed in literature and art, and I know I have something I could offer you!" she resisted the urge to grab his arm and beg. He rolled his eyes as he stooped down to snatch a leather log book.

"Alright, alright." He said wrenching open the cover and snatching a pen. "I'll give you one week and if you don't have everything down by then you're fired." Shaun beamed grabbing his hands.

"Thank you!" he scrunched his face up and tried to pull away. "I won't let you down! Tell that to your father." She barely noticed his eyes switch from cold disgust to warm pain.

"See you tomorrow 9 a.m. sharp." He muttered. She nodded her head enthusiastically before half running out the door. Sarah was just as excited as Shaun was when she relayed the good news.

"I told you it was promising!" she linked arms with her as they headed towards Sarah's house. "Aren't you glad you didn't give up? How much are you going to be paid?" Shaun laughed.

"I was too excited to ask the particulars."

"I'm sure he'll tell you by the end of the week, who did you speak with?" Shaun scratched her head bashfully.

"I don't know his name."

"Shaun!" Sarah began to laugh. "You are horrible at this kind of stuff." Shaun lowered her gaze to her boots. "Oh I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"I know." Shaun wondered if Spot would be proud of her. Sarah squeezed her arm.

"Everyone will be happy for you." She held a wooden door with a glass window open for her. "Now you get to meet my mother." She grinned. Shaun followed Sarah up the stairs excited to finally see the family she talked about with so much love. The family that accepted Jack with open arms, or so she heard. "Mama!" Sarah called when they entered the apartment.

Shaun was taken back at how small it was. There was a bed to her right near a window and one bedroom down a long hall towards the left of the kitchen. The kitchen was a reasonable size and an older woman with blonde hair was currently at the stove. "I brought someone to meet you." Sarah explained taking her mother's hand and leading her towards the front door. Shaun stood there awkwardly. Sarah's mother was pretty and smiled comfortingly.

"Nice to meet you," she paused for a name.

"Shaun Kenneth." She extended her hand and Sarah's mother took it.

"Kenneth?" she asked furrowing her brows. "The name sounds familiar."

"A lot of people tell me so." She decided against mentioning her parents. Sarah babbled on about how Shaun was currently living at the newsboy lodging house, and at her mother's expression she mentioned in a separate room downstairs. "Thanks for allowing me to help." Shaun said when her mother placed a bowl of dough in front of her.

"No problem dear, every girl should know how to cook." Shaun flushed.

"Sarah told you?" she smiled.

"Don't be ashamed." She covered her hands in flour. "If I meet people who haven't the need to learn these things I find them very lucky." Shaun somehow felt offended by her words. Sarah and her family would never say so, nor would the Manhattan newsboys, but deep down they did resent her, just like Spot. They had to work their entire lives and Shaun had a freebie. She would never understand, she was an outsider.

Smiling she followed her mother's instructions and was happy to be left alone to knead the bread. There was a part of Shaun that was happy her parents had beaten her. At least they gave her a taste of pain even if it wasn't starvation or poverty.

* * *

Les jumped down the steps nearly dropping the boxes of bread he was in charge of.

"Les!" Sarah scolded apologizing as she brushed past Shaun and hurried toward him. "You need to be careful, you're carrying food!" She balanced the casserole dish on her shoulder as she steered him out of the building and away from impatient tenants.

"I just wanted to see if I could make it." He mumbled shrugging her off as soon as they were outside.

"You can jump any other time you want, but not when you're holding bread!" he rolled his eyes and trudged forward. Sarah turned to her brother expectantly and sighing David chased after him. Shaun was smiling when Sarah fell into step beside her. She had become keeper of the sweets and she was tempted by the smell of the chocolate chip cookies.

"Is your mother coming?" Shaun asked as they huddled closer together at the chilly evening air.

"She's waiting for father to get home, and then yes."

"Is he at work? Your father?"

"Yes he works at the textile factory near Queens." Sarah's demeanor changed abruptly and Shaun hoped she hadn't upset her.

"Sarah?" she ventured when the silence stretched.

"You're lucky Shaun." She gripped the glass dish tighter. "I wish we could have been rich like you. Then my father wouldn't have been hurt at work, and David wouldn't have quite school. He still refuses to go back, and now Les wants to stop and be just like Jack." Shaun lowered her gaze the shame returning. "I love Jack. I do. But I don't want my brothers to be newsboys. They don't understand what that means. Not yet anyway. David's still wrapped up in his fantasies and Les is just a kid."

"I'm sorry." Sarah turned to her. "I'm sorry; honestly if I could I'd give you all of what my family has. They don't deserve it anyway."

"Why do you say that?" she demanded. It was the first time Shaun had heard anger in Sarah's voice and she stepped back surprised. "Why do you keep saying your family doesn't care about you?"

"I know that you think my life has been perfect."

"It has." Shaun shook her head pausing in the middle of the walkway.

"Just because I had money doesn't mean anything. I won't say I've had it easy, because I haven't, but I won't say it's been hard, because it hasn't been that either. You, Jack, the newsies, you all have dealt with things I haven't, and sure there are times when I'm out of touch with reality." She smiled as she remembered Spot's constant reminders of 'welcome to reality.' He was the only one who had tried to show her. "But I know pain, I've seen people die, and I also want to keep people I love from traveling down a road that will only bring them harm." Shaun's eyes watered. "Unfortunately I've failed at some of those things."

"Shaun," she held up her hand interrupting Sarah. Reaching into her corset she produced Manchester's ledger page and unraveled it. Releasing a breath at the words _sold_ before handing it to Sarah.

"My parents might have sold me to Manchester." She admitted and as the statement left her lips she stood a little straighter. It would be nice to share the burden of her parents hatred. "You don't know much about what happened, but you know that Spot and Racetrack were kidnapped, along with the other street kids?" Sarah nodded still staring at the ink stained paper. No doubt she was reading the other names with dead scratched beside them. "So was I." she looked up her eyes widened.

"I knew you had something to do with the disappearances but I had no idea you were one of the kidnapped." she exclaimed crumpling the paper in her fist.

"I'm surprised you didn't know. I thought Spot may have told everyone why I was tagging along with him or Race." Sarah shook her head.

"He didn't mention that you had been captured with them. He only said you were related to the kidnappings. That's why we didn't understand where you had come from or why you were at Tibby's or why Spot was being so kind to you. Race hadn't said anything either. I think Jack might have guessed," she shrugged. "He has an odd way of sensing things. That's why it's weird you're suddenly staying with the boys in Manhattan. I mean," she paused studying her before continuing. "We know something awful happened because of Race's…issues, and the fact that only you three have returned." Shaun nodded.

"Manchester was the man that took everyone. He was targeting street kids, finding pawns, that he would release into a maze and then hunt down and kill them." Shaun shuddered at Manchester's maniacal laughter that plagued her even now. Sarah touched her gently.

"You don't have to talk about it."

"I do have to talk about it." Shaun replied her tone determined. "I still feel his eyes on me; still feel like he's following me, or when I wake up in the morning I'll be there in that maze again. And the idea that my parent's sold me into that horror is an unrelenting pain. Instead of crying Sarah, I end up becoming so angry!" The words were spilling from Shaun's lips. The secret thoughts, the nightly dreams, things she hadn't realized she was feeling. "You see, they beat me. I'm an illegitimate child and my step father, James Kenneth and my mother hate me. I remind them of the past and so they've been trying to get rid of me since I was born." Shaun wouldn't look at Sarah, not until she was finished. It was selfish of her to share this with her.

The young girl may be poor but her life was peaceful. It was selfish that Shaun wanted someone else to hurt with her. Selfish, but human. She wouldn't tell Spot, not yet, because she wanted him to love her. If he knew what would he say? What would he do? If he knew that her family had tried to dispose of her? She felt as if he would do the same. Eventually he would hate her too, and she couldn't bear it if Spot told her one day she was worthless. She had been too happy when he claimed she didn't deserve to die. Her mother had told her so often she should have killed her that it was ingrained that she shouldn't be living.

"I suppose I shouldn't have assumed anything." Sarah whispered stuffing the paper in Shaun's dress pocket before taking her wrist. "Don't assume either Shaun. Not until you ask your parent's. Maybe that man just wrote that, as another game." Shaun forced a smile.

"I'm sorry Sarah; I shouldn't have said any of that. Not tonight anyway. We're supposed to be celebrating!"

"Shaun it's not good to keep all that to yourself. So don't feel like you can't tell me." She tightened her grip. "Understand? I know we haven't known each other long, but I'm here for you." Shaun laughed shaking her head to dry her tears. It had taken her a near death experience, falling in love with the King of Brooklyn, and sudden poverty to finally find people who cared.

"Okay." Sarah pulled away and began walking at a fast pace. They had fallen far behind her brothers. Most likely they had reached the lodging house and were wondering where the girls had gone off too. "Sarah!" Shaun called dashing after her. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"I promise." She replied over her shoulder. "Now hurry up!" she stretched her hand behind her snatching Shaun's sleeve and tugging her forward.

* * *

"We were gonna send a search party out for ya!" Race yelled as they entered the boisterous lodging house. "Jeez what took ya so long." He eagerly reached for Sarah's casserole. Expertly smacking his hand away she weaved her way through the boys and to the refreshment table.

"We got sidetracked." Shaun said ignoring the curious glances Sarah and her received.

"Doing what?" Jack inquired bending down to give Sarah a peck on the cheek. She blushed as she rolled back the cloth on her dish.

"I saw a dress and told Shaun it would look good on her." Sarah gestured toward her. "After all she can't borrow my clothes forever."

"Girls and dresses." Blink rolled his eyes helping Shaun transport her boxes to the table. Laughter echoed and Shaun stared in amazement as more boys entered the house.

"Surprising isn't it?" Sarah whispered pushing Jack's arms from around her shoulders.

"How on earth do they all fit?" she laughed.

"Beats me."

"Usually we go to Medda's." Jack said imitating their whispering as he rested his cheek against Sarah's. She smiled giggling as she pushed him back but before she could protest he had snatched her into his arms and was kissing her passionately. Shaun blushed at the inappropriate display of affection and busied herself with the food.

"Oh don't worry, we're used to it." Racetrack said clapping Shaun on the back.

"Should have seen 'em after the strike!" a light skinned boy stumbled in front of her Kid Blink choking him as he ruffled his dark curls. "I'm Mush." He said elbowing Blink in the ribs before straightening. The blonde boy tumbled backwards grunting as he held his side. Mush grinned and Shaun couldn't help but to reciprocate the enthusiasm. He was a beautiful boy with a contagious personality. Happiness radiated from him as he shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Shaun Kenneth." He nodded.

"Oh I know. I've heard a lot 'bout you Shaun." She stared confused. "Nothing bad of course." He backtracked.

"Don't mind him, he's never been smooth with the ladies." The boy she remembered as Snipeshooter mumbled around a cigar. Shaun was unable to say anything about the young boy's smoking habits before Race had shoved her aside.

"That's mine!" he screamed chasing Snipe into the crowd. Mush took Shaun's arms and balanced her as she tipped sideways.

"Thanks." She smiled.

"So did you make any of this?"

"Just the cookies and I helped with the bread." She finished setting them out on a plate. "I don't know how to bake; this is the first time I've ever tried. The cookies were the only thing I was allowed to do on my own, so they're probably horrible." Mush shook his head.

"I'm sure they're wonderful." He moved to take the one in the middle but was foiled by someone else. Shaun turned to warn them and stopped her face fell. Spot took a large bite his eyes locking on hers. Goosebumps spread across her arms as she watched him.

"Mush is wrong." Spot said when he had finished off the cookie. "These are disgusting; I think I might die from food poisoning."

"Spot!" Mush countered. "Don't listen to him Shaun, he doesn't mean it." His words were quick and jumbled. Shaun didn't hear a thing. The noise in the room had muted and all she could hear was Spot, and he was all she could see. "Shaun?" Mush continued shaking her slightly. Suddenly the volume turned full blast.

"Oh sorry." She jumped.

"Look you hurt her feelings." Mush grabbed a cookie and stuffed it in his mouth. "You too Blink!" crumbs fell onto his shirt as he shoved a few into Kid Blink's hands.

"No, it's fine." She urged chuckling as Mush began force feeding Blink.

"These are good." Mush nodded his approval taking two more for emphasis. "Honestly." Sarah returned her clothes wrinkled and her hair disheveled. In her hand were two glasses. One of which Blink reached for gratefully. He swallowed the ice tea in large gulps before speaking.

"They are good; ya know when someone isn't killin' ya with 'em." He eyed Mush. The two boys were wrestling again and as they tumbled into the crowd Racetrack and Snipeshooter joined them with Race holding the cigar above the pile of boys.

"Spot, good to see ya." Jack had two more glasses and passed one to Shaun to spit shake.

"I'm here on business only." Spot said ignoring Shaun. She wondered why he wouldn't look at her again?

"What can I do for ya?"

"We need to talk about a few things." Jack nodded.

"I couldn't agree more." he gestured toward the back hall and Spot followed him. Once they were gone Sarah smoothed herself out.

"I see people have tried your cookies." She smiled. "Did they like them?"

"Yes, they told me they were good." Shaun hoped her demeanor didn't display the confusion and hurt she felt. If Sarah had noticed she didn't ask. Instead she urged her to make a plate and they ate as they watched the boy's antics. It was a refreshing change of pace but Shaun could barely enjoy herself. She kept her eyes glued to the back hall waiting for Spot to return.

By the time he did he was halfway to the door. "I'll be right back." She told Sarah and pushed her way toward the Brooklyn boy. It felt impossible to catch up with him. Every time she got closer another boy stepped in front of her. Once she was out the door Spot had turned the corner. Tripping down the stairs she ran after him hoping she'd catch up. Abruptly she felt someone wrap their hand around her mouth. Muffling her screams she was shoved against the wall. _Manchester_ she shrieked in her head beginning to struggle. Kicking, punching, scratching, she did everything she was capable of while they attempted to restrain her.

"Shh, stop!" they pressed their hand harder against her mouth. "My name's Patriot I'm from Brooklyn, you know me. Open your eyes." She hadn't realized she had closed them but when she cracked her eyelids she saw familiar brown eyes. The gas light reflected off his gentle features and slowly the tension left her. He sighed pulling his hand away. Shaun saw him rub blood from a cut.

"Sorry." She said.

"I shouldn't have grabbed you like that, ya been through a lot, but I needed to talk to you."

"What?" as he shoved his hands in his pockets she studied him. He had wavy brown hair, light skin, and clean clothes. His eyes reflected the same gentle demeanor he possessed and as he lit a cigarette she realized he was very handsome.

"I don't know what's goin' on with you and Spot, but I just want to clarify some things." He took a drag. "Stop makin' mistakes." She furrowed her brows.

"Mistakes?"

"I'm not a genius, I suck at relationships, but I know Spot Conlon. I'm his second in command and he trusts me. He doesn't think he does but sometimes he lets his guard down with me. Anyway," another drag. "Spot doesn't kill because he wants to, he does it 'cause he has too. Akdo would have killed him, and then killed me, and anyone else Spot held dear and near. And god knows what would have happened to you."

"I get it."

"Whatever made you run away forget it." Patriot dropped the cigarette on the ground. "Glad we could have this conversation." With that he turned and sulked away. Shaun smiled and began running. Spot was crossing the Brooklyn Bridge when she reached forward and grasped his shirt. He came to a sudden halt and she fell against his back.

"Spot," she gasped using her other hand to grab his arm.

"Shaun." He said. "I coulda killed you be more careful." She smiled slowing her breathing.

"I'm sorry." She whispered gripping him tighter. "I never meant to leave. I don't know why I did it."

"You were scared." Spot confirmed. "I reminded you of him."

"I won't lie," she sighed. "You did, but you're not him Spot. You'll never be him."

"What do you want?" He asked shrugging her off. She reached for his arms again turning him to face her. Their gazes never failed to find each other.

"You."

The blue in his eyes was so intense at her words as he gripped her wrists and tugged her forward. He tilted her chin up securing his other arm around her waist pressing her against his body. Shaun closed her eyes hoping he would follow through because she was too lost in the moment to make the move. She felt the warmth of his breath, inhaled his scent consisting of smoke, water, and something else that was definitively Spot's. Her hands trembled as she reached up and placed her fingertips on his cheek. Their lips met in a sigh of contentment. They fit perfectly together as he held her, as she ran her hands through his hair forgetting the hat that had fallen, as Shaun threw herself into their first kiss as if it would be their last.

Spot Conlon was everything she had ever wanted.

**A/N: thank you all for your reviews and for reading. Sorry that it's taken me so long to update. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. **


	17. Moment for Life

Chapter Fifteen- Moment for life

Spot stepped back from the fragile girl in his arms. Her eyes remained closed. Slowly he ran his fingers about her face tracing her features causing her to smile. He released a quiet breath surprised at the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm his senses. Was this what love felt like? He knew he was falling for Shaun Kenneth he just had no idea how strong his attraction was. Her eyelids fluttered and finally he saw her blue eyes. The blue eyes he had come to adore. They were big, clear, and filling with tears.

His jaw tensed at the affection he saw there. It scared him to know that Shaun was just as taken with him as he was with her. She contained the same strength and determination he did, but he knew that if anything happened and he left her she would break. Because he would if she left him. Spot allowed his hands to fall to his sides. Averting his gaze he turned back toward Brooklyn.

"Spot?" she whispered and he closed his eyes at her voice.

"Shaun I don't know what you expect." He began to move forward running his hand along the bridge railing. Suddenly he felt disorientated.

"What?" she inquired and by her tone confused. Spot didn't want to answer. If this conversation continued he wasn't sure where it would go, what he would say. A part of him wanted to keep her away from him, while the other wanted to kiss her again, hold her for hours. "I don't understand." She mumbled her words. He kept walking. "Spot wait."

"Don't follow me."

"Just stop!" she yelled behind him. He gripped the railing tighter as he forced his legs to keep moving. "Tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed." She demanded and he paused. Could he lie to her? "And I won't follow you."

"I doubt that." He snorted. "You've been following me since I met you."

"I promise. This time I won't." he heard the sincerity. His heart constricted at the idea of the absence of her. Even the few days she had been in Manhattan had nearly drove him crazy. He had wanted to see her, argue about her loss sense of reality, and watch her cope with life as a pauper. Not only had he longed for her but he had worried something would happen to her. She would get lost, someone would attack her.

He had Patriot tracking her and reporting back but it killed him not to be there to protect her. If something ever happened to her…his thoughts trailed off and he faced her. The tears had fallen freely down her cheeks, her hands were clenched in the worn folds of her skirts, and she looked so beautiful.

"I might hurt you." She cracked a weak smile.

"You won't." she sighed loudly. "I'll hurt you worse." Spot rolled his eyes.

"Do you always have to argue?"

"Does this mean I can follow you?" he stepped forward pulling her back into his arms. She inhaled deeply and he smirked as he tangled his fingers in her matted hair.

"You can follow me anywhere." She laughed and he couldn't help but laugh too. Neither of them needed to tell each other just how much they cared. They could feel it.

* * *

Shaun had a large grin plastered on her face when she returned to the lodging house. She wasn't surprised to see the party crowd had remained and was much more rowdy than before. Shaking her head she pushed herself through the boys in search of Sarah. Eventually she found her in her bedroom whispering to Jack. They were smiling holding each other's hands their eyes locked on each other. Shaun rapt on the door causing each of them to jump.

"Shaun!" Sarah exclaimed flushing immediately.

"Sorry to interrupt." She said nodding toward Jack.

"It's fine." Jack responded allowing Sarah to pull her hands away. "Were you with Spot?" Shaun blushed shifting nervously.

"Yes."

"How is he?" she shrugged and Jack chuckled as he stood. "I'll see you later, Sarah." He gave her a quick peck before brushing past Shaun. Once she was sure Jack wasn't in the vicinity to eavesdrop Shaun entered the room and shut the door.

"You look flustered." Sarah observed as she plopped down beside her.

"So do you." She smiled. "I have news."

"Good I'm guessing?"

"I'm not sure, but right now it feels that way." Sarah pulled her legs beneath her skirt and faced her completely.

"So?"

"Spot and I kissed." Sarah's reaction made Shaun burst into laughter. Her mouth had literally fallen open and she was blinking in utter bewilderment.

"You…what?" she gasped still attempting to process the information.

"We kissed, is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes!" she shook her head. "I can't even imagine what the boys would say if they knew!"

"Don't tell anyone! I already know Spot doesn't want the news to travel."

"Not a surprise."

"Why do you say that? Should he be ashamed to kiss me?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "I didn't mean that, it's just, Spot's so private about his personal business. I mean the boy hardly shows emotions, besides anger, and power I guess." Shaun shrugged.

"I can't argue with that, but I don't want the news to travel either." Sarah smiled.

"Then I feel privileged you would tell me."

"Don't make me regret it." The door swung open and Racetrack barged into the room.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Sarah demanded. Race waved his hand at her.

"Shaun I was worried 'bout you! You need to stop disappearing without telling me." Shaun smiled.

"I was with Spot Race, I don't think he'd let anything happen to me." Race raised his brows.

"What were you doin' with Spot?" she rolled her eyes.

"We were discussing my living arrangements."

"Hm." She punched him playfully at his assuming tone.

"That was it Race! Besides, you need to get over this…" Shaun paused trying to find a word. "Attachment, you have with me." She regretted her choice as Race crinkled his face and stepped back. "I mean." He shook his head.

"I know what you mean."

"Race, she's just saying she doesn't want you to worry so much."

"Yeah I'm fine Racetrack, okay?"

"How can I not worry? I know everything's over. Hell I saw the guy get shot, but I can't shake the feeling. Can you blame me for that?" his voice rose seemingly panicked. "How can you walk around like everything's okay Shaun?" she reached toward him but he slapped her hand away. Sarah gasped.

"Racetrack!"

"It's okay Sarah." Shaun sighed. "Because I have people that make me feel safe. As long as I'm with them I don't think about what happened. Sometimes I'll have nightmares, sometimes I see his face, but I know it'll be alright as long as those people are with me." Race clenched his fists.

"Yeah, Shaun, Did you ever think you might be that someone for me?" Shaun furrowed her brows.

"What?"

"You came to me in that tunnel and you took my hand, and you led me out. I would have died down there if you hadn't come." Shaun's eyes widened. "I don't want to lose you Shaun, that's why I worry. Because when you disappear I always see him about to shoot you. I always see that gun pointed at your head."

"Race," she whispered moving toward him.

"Understand? That's why I want to know where you are. Because I feel safer with you, like if I ever get stuck somewhere again you're gonna take my hand and lead me out." She heard the tears in his voice and hugged him close. Shaun was sure Racetrack didn't want anyone beside her to see him cry.

"Sarah, can you go get Race a drink?" she stood quickly.

"And a big slice of cake?" Race mumbled in Shaun's shoulder. She smiled glad his humor hadn't dispersed.

"And a slice of cake?"

"A big slice." He repeated.

"A big slice?" Shaun called as Sarah exited the room.

"Do you think she heard?" Race inquired sniffling.

"If not we can go out there and cut another piece."

"It's probably all gone by now." He straightened wiping his face on his sleeve. Shaun studied him until she was satisfied he felt better. "Sorry 'bout that." He muttered fiddling with his pocket watch.

"I'm glad you told me." She confirmed shifting in her nightstand drawer. "I'll make sure to tell you where I'm going from now on okay?" she pressed a handkerchief into his hand. He nodded and he reminded her so much of Mattie that she snatched him into another hug.

"Alright, alright!" he complained gently shoving her away.

"Here's your food." Sarah said entering the room with Blink, Mush, and Jack behind her.

"What are all ya guys doing in here?" Kid Blink asked eyeing the cake as Sarah placed it on the dresser.

"Just talking." Shaun answered. They stared at her suspiciously but she returned their glances with a nonchalant expression.

"Well everyone's going out for a drink." Mush explained crossing the room to Race who was eagerly eating. "Would you and Sarah like to come?" he reached for the fork but was elbowed in the ribs.

"This is for me!" Race snapped. Shaun ignored them as they began to wrestle. Sarah watched with a warm smile playing referee.

"I don't think a bar is any place for women." Shaun commented. Jack nodded in approval.

"I might have to agree with you." He looked at Sarah as he spoke.

"Thought we'd invite you anyway." Blink said grabbing Mush's collar and dragging him away from the fight. "Don't want ya to think we're abandoning you."

"We wouldn't think that." Sarah chimed in urging Race to sit down and finish the cake.

"Well, see you tomorrow Shaun?" Mush asked his eyes wide and child like. She smiled.

"I have work, but I'm sure I will. We do live in the same house." He shrugged.

"Ya never know."

"Don't say that!" Race protested standing up. "Let's just get goin'." He passed the dirty dishes to Sarah and shoved Kid Blink and Mush out the door. "See you later Shaun!" he waved at both the girls before running down the hall. Jack flashed a warm smile at Sarah, nodded to Shaun, and followed the three boys.

"Well," Sarah sighed exiting the room. "That was interesting." Shaun followed her amazed at the suddenly empty lodging house.

"Yeah, they do clear out fast don't they?" Sarah laughed setting the plate on the buffet table.

"Seems like your cookies were popular." Esther Jacobs said holding a box full of dishes.

"Mama!" Sarah turned toward her. "When did you come?"

"About an hour ago, your father was here too but he left with David and Les." She set the box down and rolled up her sleeves. "I thought I'd stay and help with clean up." She smiled at both girls.

"Thanks." Shaun returned her smile. "And surprisingly my cookies were popular."

"Don't be surprised, I snuck one before you took them. I think they're very good for someone who just learned to bake." Shaun flushed at the compliment and began covering dishes with leftover food.

"Thank you." They worked quickly and soon the lodging house barely showed signs of the party. Esther patted Shaun on the shoulder before exiting the building.

"You have work tomorrow right?" Sarah asked stepping into the doorway.

"Yes, would you like to walk with me?"

"Sure I'll meet you here at eight." She smiled and Shaun closed the door.

* * *

"Hello?" Shaun called as she stepped through the door. Just like before the book store was empty. No sign of the boy who had hired her. "It's Shaun Kenneth!" she leaned over the desk peering down the hallway. "Hello?" she tried again.

"I heard you the first time." He snapped. Shaun turned to find him jumping down from a brass ladder. Digging in his pocket he produced a watch and checked the time. "9:00 am sharp, I'm impressed."

"Yes." she replied. He sauntered toward the counter and tugged the ledger in front of him. "I don't think I asked you the essential questions last time we met."

"My name's Logan Whitefield and I'll be paying you thirty dollars a week."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Whitefield, and thank you." she wondered if thirty dollars was standard as she followed Logan behind the desk.

"This is the ledger," he explained flipping through the pages. "We record all transactions in this one." He showed her the cover which read, _Transaction ledger_. Stooping down he brought out another. "This is the ledger we use to keep track of our inventory. We check stock consistently throughout the week." He made a few notes with an ink pen. "It's important we know exactly what we have, and what might need to be ordered. We have many university students that count on our bookstore for their studies." Shaun nodded as he went through various books. "Everything in this store must be done meticulously. We can't have any mistakes understand?"

"Yes of course."

"My family depends on this income and I won't have someone mess it up. Especially someone with no work experience."

"I promise you sir; I will not do anything to jeopardize your business." He studied her for a few moments and smirked. Shaun was taken back. It had been the first time she saw anything other than a scowl.

"Moving on." He showed her how each shelf was numbered and all books were in alphabetical order. The gold numbers matched with the book ledger and it was important to check the shelves to see none were out of place. "Your job for the next week will be to watch me. We're open Monday through Saturday 9 am to 6 pm. On Saturday I'll be leaving the shop completely in your care. If you prove to me you can handle it then you'll become a permanent employee."

Shaun made numerous mental notes listening, and studying intensely. She needed this job. Not only was it a way to pay rent at the lodging house, but it was a way to disprove her worthlessness. Her prior life as a privileged rich girl was on everyone's mind, including Spot's. Shaun knew he felt inadequate compared to the luxury she lived in but if she showed him she could live a normal life, maybe he wouldn't resent her. "Shaun?"

"Yes right." She smiled. "I won't let you down."

"You've said so before." He moved a few volumes around. "I'm starting to believe you."

"Good." He passed her a stack of books.

"You can help me take inventory then, let's get started." It took almost the entire day to complete the task. By five pm Shaun was exhausted and fell into a cane backed chair behind the desk. Logan rolled his eyes as he finished making notes in the ledger. "If you're going to be that tired I might start to worry."

"I've never lifted so many things in my life." She sighed flexing her arms. He narrowed his eyes in her direction.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"What have you been doing then? For eighteen years?" she shrugged pushing herself up.

"This and that."

"Secrecy huh? That's fine." He slammed the leather cover shut. "Tomorrow we have an errand to run."

"Who will watch the store?"

"No one."

"Then?" he exhaled loudly through his nose.

"We'll close down for the extent of the errand, and then return and open again, understand?" Shaun ignored his condescending tone and nodded. He stuffed the journals underneath the counter and wiped it down. "I'm letting you off early today. I'll see you here tomorrow at the same time."

"Okay, are you sure you'll be alright on your own?"

"I've been on my own for two years, I think I can handle an hour." Shaun waved goodbye and exited the store. Sarah was supposed to meet her here at six and she wondered if she should wait. Glancing both ways to make sure it was clear she jogged across the street and found a bench.

Sitting she realized how hungry she had become. Apparently Logan skipped lunch since neither of them had eaten a thing. As she thought about her boss she reflected on his attitude and lack of a friendly demeanor. They hadn't received a costumer today but she knew there had to be some in the past. Did Logan speak to them the same way he spoke to her? Or did he hide behind a façade?

"How was work?" she jerked her head to glance over her shoulder. Instead of Sarah she saw Spot leaning against a lamp post. His hair was a mess, a few buttons on his shirt open, and an arrogant smirk plastered on his face. Biting her lip she blushed before turning away.

"Good." She murmured as he vaulted over the back of the bench and situated himself beside her.

"Oh really?" he leaned his elbows on his knees watching her from behind a curtain of brown hair. "Sarah told me you'd be here."

"Where is she?"

"With Jack." Spot eyed her clothes. "I see you got a new dress." Shaun forgot Sarah had lent her one of her dresses that morning. Glancing down she smoothed out the plain fabric. It felt nice to wear something made from cotton versus silk. The skirts rarely snagged and it was easier to move as well as breathe.

"Sarah said I couldn't work in tattered clothes. She let me borrow a dress when I went job hunting." He nodded.

"You look better. Less like a rag doll." She rolled her eyes.

"Thanks. I feel like that's a compliment."

"It's the closest I get to complimentin' people."

"What are Sarah and Jack doing?" Shaun stood and stretched.

"Beats me. Ya know last time I talked to Jack before the maze Sarah had left him."

"Honestly?" he nodded slowly pushing himself up.

"One day she just called it quits. I have no idea when they got back together, but now they seem happier." Spot pushed his hair underneath the cap he had retrieved from his back pocket.

"She never said anything to me about it." He shrugged.

"I guess she feels bad," he stepped in front of her. "Anyway I didn't come here to talk 'bout Sarah and Jack." Shaun smiled.

"Oh? Did you want to harass me about my job?"

"I might do that later." He returned her grin. Shaun felt breathless. "I'm stealing ya tonight."

"What?" he motioned for her to follow and began crossing the street. Shaun never hesitated to trudge after Spot. She would go with him anywhere. "Where are we going?" she called catching up with him on the sidewalk.

"To a special place."

"Ya know I promised Racetrack I'd tell him where I was going."

"Why?"

"He gets worried."

"I heard he's having problems." Spot shook his head. "There's nothing we can do."

"Except be there for him." She caught his gaze. "Like you are for me." He turned away. "Do you ever think about the maze? And everything that happened?" he clenched his fists as they walked.

"All the time."

"Do you, do you get scared?" Shaun felt as if she was crossing an invisible line. Spot's attitude had changed abruptly and she could tell they were treading dangerous territory.

"Of what?"

"That he'll come back." She whispered glancing at the last rays of the sun.

"That's crazy."

"Sometimes I feel like he's alive." Spot gripped her forearm and stopped her.

"Shaun," he said his voice stern and confident. "He's dead." She searched his eyes finding his sincerity, his determination to make her understand. "I won't let anything happen to you." She believed him. Her jaw tensed at his words. Shaun loved to hear him say it.

"I know." She breathed gently tugging her arm from beneath his hand. "I know Spot. It's why I can walk the streets, it's why I can fall asleep, and it's why I can do things in my life somewhat normally. But it doesn't stop the fact that I have nightmares occasionally, or feel as if he's watching me." She shuddered. "I just wanted to know if you felt the same." They started to move again.

"The only time I get nervous," he said leading her toward a large building. "Is when I think 'bout you in those tunnels, running for your life, without me." Shaun's eyes widened. "And then I remember that you're not there anymore. You're with me. Here." He walked in front of her as they climbed a set of stairs. She was sure her cheeks were red. Running a hand over her face she hoped to hide her embarrassment. Spot most likely knew he had made her blush and out of respect was busying himself with knocking on two wooden doors.

"So is this the special place?" Shaun inquired changing the subject.

"No, it's just the entrance." A man answered the door and ushered them inside. "Good to see you Jordan." Spot said shaking the man's hand.

"You too Spot. How's Brooklyn these days?" the man was in his late forties with gray hair and kind eyes. He smiled at Shaun as he clasped his hands behind his back.

"Good. Selling's been alright."

"And who's this?" he nodded his head towards Shaun.

"This is Shaun, my friend."

"Just friend?" Jordan laughed. "Nice to meet you Shaun Spot's a special friend of mine."

"Oh? And may I ask how you two are acquainted?"

"When Spot was just a little boy the home had sentenced him to community service. So he was sent here to help me take care of my garden." Shaun laughed.

"You took care of plants Spot?" he narrowed his eyes.

"What's so funny 'bout that?"

"I just can't picture you watering some flowers." Jordan grinned.

"He was very fond of the plants."

"Oh, wow." Shaun shook her head attempting to stifle her amusement.

"Jordan," Spot grunted. "You're makin' it worse."

"Sorry." He shrugged his shoulders. "So what can I do for you Spot?"

"I wanted to show Shaun around." The man nodded knowingly.

"Of course," he unbuckled a set of keys. "You have an hour and then I have to do my daily rounds. Meet you back here?"

"Sounds good."

"Enjoy." He waved before turning and whistling as he moved down the hall.

"Show me what?" Shaun asked when the whistling had quieted. Spot winked, took her hand, and led her forward. Shaun loved the feel of his hand holding hers, loved being with him, and the anticipation and emotions overwhelmed her causing her to laugh loudly and seemingly uncontrollably.

"What's funny now?" Spot exclaimed glancing at her. She shook her head.

"I don't know, I'm just having fun!" he smiled and pulled her closer to him.

"I'm glad." He called as they picked up the pace and began to run. They raced through the halls their foot falls echoing, Shaun barely noticing the foliage through the crystal clear windows they passed. Finally she tumbled into Spot as he stopped suddenly. "This is where I wanted to take you." He said finding the key easily and unlocking the door.

Shaun gasped as he pulled her over the threshold and into the warm room. There was glass everywhere rising to the ceiling where the light dimmed as evening conquered the sky. Small lamps began to glow and she noticed a few people lighting them before exiting the room. "Those are college students. They light the lamps."

"Are they going to get mad we're in here?"

"No. They leave once the lights are on." Spot lead her along a small path through orchids, roses, daisies, and other flowers and plants she couldn't name. Large bushes casted a comforting shadow about them as they moved toward a circular opening. Spot watched her intently as she spun around inhaling the scent of the aromatic flowers. It was breathtaking, romantic, amazing. Shaun looked at the newsboy and smiled.

"I love it." She whispered.

"I thought you would." He walked toward her and wrapped his arms about her waist. She threw hers around his neck pressing herself closer to him. Slowly they moved to their own rhythm beginning a dance. Shaun smiling, Spot studying her as if she would suddenly become mist. He held her tightly gently lifting his hand to run his fingers down her cheek. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his. Oh god how she loved him.

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long for an update. I've been extremely busy lately. Being an English major definitely has its downfalls. Thanks for reading and reviewing! **


	18. More than alive

Chapter sixteen- More than alive

Shaun hugged her shawl closer to her body as she jogged behind Logan. He was trudging straight into the biting wind and weaving through the crowd like an expert. His face was set in one stern expression as he glanced over his shoulder.

"Hurry up! We could have customers soon!" she sighed and eventually fell into step beside him.

"Logan it's only 9:30 I don't think they're lining up at the door."

"That's not the point." He snapped picking up his pace. "We can't leave the store unattended for too long. Customers are potential income, and the way I pay your salary." Shaun lowered her head and watched his feet as they moved faster.

"How far are we from our destination?" she inquired wondering why they were walking somewhere thirty minutes away and not getting a ride.

"Only a few seconds." He growled.

"Seconds?" Shaun shielded her face from the sudden gust of wintry air and looked up. Large buildings surrounded them as Logan examined a few street signs. She recognized this place. It was the business district. Her father had dragged her and her mother along on a few parties concerning his investment buddies. Just down the tree lined path would be the entrance to the local university.

"This way." Logan commented quickly moving away from the stairs they had paused at and towards the college.

"Are we going to the university?" Logan nodded.

"We need to order a few volumes of renaissance poetry. I've had demands from students lately and apparently the university library is the only place to have the copies." Shaun was half interested as Logan continued on a rant about book prices. Instead she observed the architecture and suited businessmen.

Her heart pounded as the possibility of her father finding her became realistic. What would James Kenneth do? Would he act as if he saw a ghost? His step daughter, the one he tried to dispose of, was actually alive and well? And then what would he say if he knew she was working for thirty dollars a week? That she was in love with a newsboy from Brooklyn that was more of a man than he would ever be?

As she wondered what James reactions and thoughts would be she slowly began to think of her real father. Shaun. What would Shaun do if he met her? Would he be proud? Happy? Shaun was free now. Free from the rich lifestyle she had been forced to live, free to find the man that had no idea she existed. Was he even alive? It wouldn't surprise her if James Kenneth had come up with a plan to get rid of him too. The Irish boy that remembered and possessed the last human part of her mother's heart. "Shaun?" she started at Logan's sharp tone. "I can tell you weren't listening." His eyes were narrowed.

"I'm sorry. I've never seen a university before." She lied. Logan released an irritated snort.

"I guess I can't blame you. The college is nice." He gestured toward the gates. "Let's go. We're running out of time." She hurried onto the brick laid walkway that led to the large school. It was beautiful with Tudor touches here and there. Ivy grew over one of the walls and she could hear lively chatter coming from a makeshift football field a few feet away. Scholarly rich young men held books under their arms, wrestled playfully with friends, and paused to stare at Shaun and Logan. No doubt they looked out of place in this environment dominated entirely by well off men.

"They're staring." Shaun whispered. Logan shrugged.

"They can stare all they want if you ask me. I'm merely here for books. And so are you so keep your eye on the prize and don't think about hitting on any of these boys." His tone was condescending and chastising.

Shaun couldn't help but laugh. Logan Whitefield was an interesting kid and someone she genuinely enjoyed working with. His cynical attitude and brooding behavior rarely bothered Shaun, in fact it intrigued her. What could this young boy possibly have gone through to turn him into an adult in the prime of his childhood?

"Wouldn't dream of it." She said ignoring his frustrated expression at her amusement.

"The library's through here." He held the wooden door open for her before pointing towards a large desk. Shaun was in awe of the dome ceilings, artwork, and shelves packed with books. The space smelled of literature and antiques and the floor squeaked as her boots scuffed against the marble. "Logan Whitefield here, I have an appointment with Mr. Simmons on book purchasing." She turned to watch her employer sign a few documents and nod businesslike to the student worker. Shaun had to stifle her second bout of laughter. "Shaun!" he called and she dashed toward him.

"Yes?"

"I don't need you on this meeting. Take this ledger and examine the books. If you see anything we don't have and should, or new copies of books we own, write them down."

"Yes sir."

"Take this seriously Shaun, having the most up to date books is our business and keeps customers coming back."

"Right, I am serious Mr. Whitefield." He scrunched his face up at her formality. Shaun made an inconspicuous gesture toward the clerk as a way of explaining her sudden change in demeanor.

"Uh okay, than carry on." Shaun was excited she could delve deeper into the library. She had always loved books and reading. It had been one of her favorite things on her lesson plans. But when her old governess left her and Mrs. Forbes wrote out her lessons suddenly she was more concerned with etiquette and not speaking unless spoken too.

Running her fingers over the dusty spines she read each cover and checked the ledger. Slowly it became less work and more fun as she made notes of books they should consider. As she traveled into plays and poetry she discovered the wonderful story _The Importance of Being Earnest_. The first few lines engrossed her and soon Shaun was sitting, her legs curled under her skirt, engaged in the play. At first she could barely hear the whisper of her name but as she lowered the book she realized someone was speaking to her.

"Shaun?" they were amazed, bewildered, as their eyes studied her sitting form. "Shaun Kenneth?" they repeated immediately sinking in front of her. He laughed a breathy sound. "It's you right?"

"Joel." She gasped.

"How was Europe?"

"What?" her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Europe, your parents told me you were there studying." Slowly she gained her composure.

"Oh, um, right." She fumbled for words. Should she lie to him?

"Where were you studying? It looks like they were barely feeding you." Concern clouded his dark eyes. "I saw you from afar but I wasn't sure if it was you at first."

"Have I changed that much?" she questioned suddenly feeling self conscious.

"No!" he exclaimed leaning back on his heels. "I didn't mean it that way; I mean you just look very different, still beautiful though." She blushed.

"Er, thanks."

"Look I didn't mean to make this awkward; honestly, I'm just extremely surprised and happy to see you."

"I don't blame you. This is a university it's rare to see women here."

"Not just for that reason. You've been away for so long I thought you had married." He laughed nervously.

"No I didn't get married." she moved to stand and Joel jerked to his feet. Quickly he offered his hand. It was unusual to be around a man of propriety after the months she had spent in the maze. Not an ounce of nostalgia haunted her as she kindly took it and allowed him to help her up. Shaun was perfectly content and the idea was overwhelming. She replaced the book and secured the ledger beneath her arm.

"Shaun," he began. She gritted her teeth and turned toward him. He hadn't changed since she last saw him, still standing straight with all the poise of a well trained gentleman. His clothes had remained starched, clean, polished shoes and slicked back hair.

Yet the warmth she had felt from him in the garden radiated more than before. She could tell from his expression and inviting gaze that he was earnest. "I would like to see you again, talk to you, how about you come to my parent's dinner party tomorrow night?"

"Dinner party?"

"You could bring your family as well of course. I'd be delighted to discuss business with your father."

"No." he stared at her. "Joel a lot has happened since Europe." His face fell.

"So you are married?"

"That's not what I meant."

"There you are!" Logan exclaimed. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Give me the ledger let me see if you were at least doing your job."

"Logan!" the boy's eyes widened as they rested on Joel.

"Joel, how are you?" he asked his tone the kindest Shaun had ever heard it.

"Excellent and yourself?" Logan shrugged shifting the weight of his recently purchased books. "And your father?" there was a drastic change in his composure.

"Good seeing you Joel." Shaun conjured her manors and curtsied. "But Logan and I must return to the shop, good day!" she clutched Logan's wrist and against her prior etiquette training ignored Joel's calls. They were exiting the college campus in a matter of seconds and to Shaun's surprise her boss had failed to complain.

Instead he trailed silently behind her his head nearly buried in the box. Biting her lip Shaun suppressed the urge to demand what was wrong. It was odd to see Logan at a loss for words and unsettling for her. Something was wrong with Logan Whitefield's father, something that affected his son immensely.

* * *

The shop was quiet by the time they returned. Logan stocked the new volumes, recorded them in the ledger, and whispered to see Shaun's suggestions for purchasing. By five o'clock she could barely stand the tension.

"I read a really interesting play today." He nodded while scribbling notes. "I didn't write it down for purchase, but maybe we should stock it?" another absentminded nod. "_The Importance of Being Ernest._"

"Great play."

"Logan you're worrying me. What's wrong?" he stood and shoved the ledger aside.

"I don't pay you to worry about me. I have my secrets and you have yours. Who are you exactly Shaun? Apparently not who I thought you were if you consort with the likes of Joel Bennett."

"I don't consort with Joel Bennett."

"Right so inviting you to a dinner party isn't consorting."

"You were listening?"

"Tell me about your parents." Shaun reached for her shawl. "Oh I see so you can worry about me, question me about what's wrong, oh but let's make sure not to make Shaun be honest."

"Logan I don't know what's made you so upset, and I'm sorry if I'm the most recent cause, but I won't be yelled at by a boy."

"A boy?" he screeched.

"I'll see you tomorrow and I hope there are no hard feelings between us." She wrapped the cloth about her shoulders, nodded at the sputtering shop owner, and left. Closing her eyes she took a few steps forward. Shaun hoped Logan didn't consider firing her. She had obviously overstepped her bounds.

As she drifted toward the lodging house she realized what she really needed was a night out with Spot Conlon. They had had such a wonderful time yesterday and as she remembered the garden and the twilight dance she smiled. Whenever she thought of the newsboy her worries seemed to disperse and all she could think about was the feel of his lips and security of his arms.

Turning away from the back street that would take her to the Manhattan home she made her way toward Brooklyn. Spot most likely wasn't expecting her and there was a high probability of him being upset she ventured there. A chance she was willing to risk. Eventually he would come around and she could seduce him to enjoy her company.

* * *

"Dammit Shaun!" Spot growled as he leapt off a tower of crates. Shaun grasped her chest as her heart skipped a beat.

"Don't jump down from that high!" she cried when he landed.

"I'm not listening to you! I say don't come to Brooklyn, and what do ya do? Come to Brooklyn."

"I remember you told me I could follow you anywhere."

"You weren't following me, you came by yourself."

"Is it a crime that I want to see you?" he crossed his arms his eyes became slits.

"I don't like guilt trips."

"That's not what that is." She responded innocently as she moved closer to him. His stance remained proud and stern while she reached for his hand. "I had a rough day."

"Your tricks aren't gonna work." He pulled away from her and began marching toward the warehouse.

"Spot Conlon!" Shaun ran after him surprised at his attitude.

"Shaun Kenneth." He countered pushing open the warehouse door. She had to push her hands out to catch it from hitting her face.

"Tell me what's wrong? You're being a jerk."

"Nothing." He sunk into a wooden chair. "Absolutely nothing that concerns you."

"Oh okay. Good night." She spun on her heel and left. It seemed that the men of New York, besides Joel, were thoroughly repulsed by her. Shaun lifted her chin at the questioning looks from newsboys as she made her way out of the dock yard.

"Wait!" a voice called behind when she turned onto the street. "Shaun, wait!" Taking a deep breath she stopped. Spot rested a hand on the brick wall. "I'm sorry."

"You think that makes it better?"

"I don't say that very often." He snapped.

"I came here to find you because I missed you, and what happens? You act like an ass!"

"Look," he ran a hand through his hair. "I had a hard day too alright? And I really don't wanna talk 'bout it so can we just put all this behind us?"

"I'll have to think about it." She sniffed in protest. Spot glanced over his shoulder before lunging for her. She shrieked and dodged his attack. "What are you doing?" she barely missed the swing of his arms as he came around again. He gave no reply and soon he was chasing her down the sidewalk at full speed.

Shaun burst into excited laughter as she lifted her skirts and apologized to those she hit. "Spot stop!" she gasped running out of steam. Her sides hurt and she slowed her pace. Abruptly she was swept up into the air and twirled around at an unusually fast rate. Her giggles were loud and bounced off the buildings around them.

"You'll think about it huh?" Spot huffed as he tumbled into a wall carrying her with him. He leaned against it his arms secured around her waist. She grinned and reached behind her to touch his cheek. Spot kissed her palm.

"I forgive you." She mumbled turning to face him. His smile matched hers.

"I knew you couldn't stay mad at me long." He pushed her back gently and smoothed out his clothes. "Let's go somewhere." Taking her hand he pulled her along the cobblestone road.

"Where?"

"Do I ever tell you?"

"No, but it's natural to ask." They walked beside each other, content, and in their own world. Shaun barely noticed the sun had completely set and the lamps were on. Spot told her various stories about the newsies and mentioned his previous life, while Shaun countered it with Logan and her job.

"The kid sounds weird." Spot snorted leading her into a dingy backstreet. "How old is he?"

"A proper lady never asks." She laughed nudging him playfully.

"I think it's been a long time since you were a proper lady." Shaun's nudge turned into a punch.

"What are you trying to say?" he smirked and stopped them in front of a dark shack. She eyed it skeptically. "This is the place?" she inquired reading the white blocked letters on the dirty window. "Al's Bar?" Spot seemed amused as he opened the door.

"Don't turn it down unless you've tried it."

"Tried what?" he took her hand once more dragging her into the smoke clad space. She cringed at the stench of alcohol and stale cigars. Men stared in their direction, a few expressions more leers than curiosity. "Spot." She whispered pressing herself close.

"Don't worry they know me." He comforted pulling a bar stool out for her. Hesitantly Shaun slid onto the hard wood and leaned into the counter. "Al!" Spot yelled slamming a few coins down.

"Spot Conlon." An older man chuckled as he moved toward them. "Jest in time. Got a new shipment in." he placed his elbows onto the wood plank. "The usual?"

"Not this time, got a friend." He tilted his head toward Shaun. The man, the one she assumed to be Al, raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"A lady friend." He bowed his head. "Nice to meet ya, I'm Al."

"You too, Shaun."

"Ah, nice name."

"Thank you."

"I say masculine names are good for females, teaches 'em to be…"

"A scotch for me, wine for Shaun please." Spot interrupted casting a warning glare at Al. The burly man laughed heartily.

"Comin' on up." He cried disappearing behind the bar.

"Wine? I can't have scotch?" Shaun asked feeling a sudden spark of competition.

"I don't think you can handle it." Spot smiled amused.

"Al!" Shaun began.

"Yes ma'am?"

"I would like a scotch instead." Al winked at Spot commenting on the spirit inside 'his girl' before placing two scotches in front of them. "Ready?" Shaun asked picking up the tumbler.

"These aren't shots Shaun."

"One." He shook his head. "Two." Her tone stern the second time around.

"Three." Spot finished and they drank.

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy. Sorry for the wait. **


	19. Tennyson

**A/N: Song suggestion: Someone like you by Adele. **

Chapter seventeen-Tennyson

"I don't want to say goodnight." Shaun mumbled lacing her fingers with Spot's. They had spent the evening together walking through the streets and stopping at the bakery for something sweet.

Since Shaun had spent the night unloading her stomach over the side of the dock Spot and her had been nearly inseparable. Smiling she remembered the way he smoothed her hair back and comforted her. The moment Shaun had allowed the searing liquor to burn her throat and saw the respect in Spot's eyes she couldn't stop.

Of course he could hold his alcohol much better than she. Spot continued to tease her.

Biting his lip at her comment he glanced at the lodging house.

"Shaun," he said. "What are you saying?" She wasn't sure how to ask what she was asking. The love she felt for him was so overwhelming it suffocated her. The need to be so close, the closest she could be humanly possible had been running through her mind lately.

"I think you know." She whispered leaning in to press her lips gently against his. The sugar from their dessert lingered on his mouth.

"No." he said gently pushing her back. "If that's what you want then no." Furrowing her brows she stepped away from him.

"Why?" she asked feeling a pang of rejection. His eyes bore into hers as he realized how she was feeling.

"Shaun I've spent my teenage years jumping into bed with girls. Lots of girls. And some of them meant something to me and others," he shrugged, "Didn't." He clasped her hands pulling her back into his arms. "You have no idea how much I don't want to say goodnight, every night, but I think we should for awhile longer."

"Are you ashamed of me?" Spot laughed.

"No I just," he sighed frustrated, "I just want to do this right. Okay? You were raised in a different world than me."

"Oh Spot." She rolled her eyes. "Stop bringing up my past. It doesn't matter. You're my present, you're my future. You've already done everything right!"

"Look you have things you believe in and I have things I believe in."

"Fine." She agreed kissing him once more. "Surprise me then." He hugged her tight.

"You bet." Pulling away he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Good night." He whispered kissing her passionately before releasing her. Shaun swayed as she climbed the stairs into the Manhattan lodging house. By the time she was through the door Spot was gone.

Grabbing her chest she quietly made her way to her room. Shaun was positive Spot Conlon would make her heart pound for eternity. Suppressing a giggle she fell back on her bed and smiled at the ceiling. Checking the pocket watch the boys had given her she gasped. It was one in the morning! If she was late to work Logan would lose the miniscule amount of sanity he had left. Quickly she undressed and went to bed.

* * *

"I'm running an errand this morning." Logan announced as Shaun sluggishly stocked books. After her probation he had decided to hire her full time. Everyone had been proud of her accomplishment, even Shaun. She felt like she had finally found her place, her niche, people that loved her. "You know what to do." He grumbled buttoning his coat. The only person she felt she needed to help was Logan Whitefield. He obviously was lost somewhere.

"Okay, see you soon!" she called cheerily as he slammed the front door. Smirking she finished her task and snuck Dante's Inferno off the shelf as she headed toward the front.

Whenever Logan wasn't watching she was always hiding somewhere with a book. Over the past few months she had expanded her vocabulary and found herself acquiring a dream. A dream of her and Spot owning their own book shop and maybe teaching others how to read.

If she mentioned it to Spot he would make fun of it. Smiling she almost laughed at comments she could hear him saying.

"I wish I was the reason behind that smile." She jumped unaware someone had entered the store. Snapping the book shut she stood and glanced at the owner of the voice. "How are you?" Joel Bennett was the last person she expected to see. Swallowing she fumbled for words.

"Joel, I'm fine, and you?" he studied her before breaking into a smirk.

"I've never seen you like this."

"Like what?"

"So happy and relaxed. Last time it was pulling teeth to have you call me Joel. And the tension you had, like strings holding up a puppet."

"Did you come here to insult me?" she asked. He raised his eyebrows.

"No." he moved around the counter stepping closer to her. "I came to ask you why you didn't come to dinner."

"I already told you," she moved back when he towered over her. "Things have changed since Europe."

"No doubt." He smiled leaning against the desk. "I like the changes though don't misunderstand me."

"Joel." Shaun sighed turning away from him. "I can't go to dinner parties anymore."

"You can't or you won't?"

"I won't go."

"I thought you might say something like that." He tried to win back her gaze. "So I'm inviting you on a date."

"What?" he succeeded. She saw the amusement in his eyes; saw the warmth, the familiar earnestness.

"An innocent, private, date. I have a house in the Hamptons. We can spend one day there and just catch up. Enlighten me on what's made you so happy. Maybe tell me the truth."

"The truth?"

"I don't think you have been in Europe Shaun." He stated his eyes darkening for the first time. "And if your parents have done something to you, because of me, I will do everything in my power to punish them."

She was taken aback by his statement, his threat against her family. Joel Bennett was smart, Shaun knew he had to be, but she didn't know just how clever the youngest, wealthiest, man in New York City was.

He took her hand without permission and kissed it keeping his gaze locked on hers.

"Joel." She whispered.

"I know where you work, you can't escape."

"I can't go with you."

"I'm going to take that as you won't, for what reason I'm not sure. But I promise it will be quick and painless. I still want you in my life Shaun."

"I don't understand." She shook her head. "Why me?"

"I already told you." He moved closer his face mere inches from hers. "To add spice to my sugary life, to add truth to the lies, to add beauty to the beasts. How many more analogies do I need to conjure to prove just how important you are?"

"It's not that I won't go with you Joel, it's just- "

"And I'll take that as a yes. I won't hear any more excuses. Friday morning, seven a.m. I'll pick you up. Here." Before Shaun could protest he was out the door and in his carriage. She had subconsciously followed him pressing her fingertips against the glass of the entrance.

What would she do? If Spot found out, if anyone found out, it would be a problem. Going to the Hamptons would mean others from her old society would see her. There was a small chance being it was winter, but a chance anyways. A chance she didn't want to risk.

Her parents could not know she was alive, not yet. It would only bring chaos into her calm world. A world Shaun would fight to keep. Because Spot Conlon was it, her world, and there was nothing without him, without his love, without his trust, and as she watched Joel's carriage tumble away she saw something threatening that.

* * *

Shaun and Sarah were on a girl's day out, something that seemed bizarre and forbidden to the Manhattan newsboys. Racetrack and Mush were chasing Shaun around the lodging house all morning inviting her to places. Jack and Klopman had collaborated to give the boys a day off.

Excited by the rare time to themselves they were frantically making plans. Of course Shaun would have loved to spend a day with her favorite newsies but her and Sarah had made the plans long ago.

Recently they had been saving pay checks to buy dresses. Not just one, but two. It was odd that it took Shaun more than a week to have money for clothes; in fact it was odd she was buying them. Shaun Kenneth was providing for herself and it felt wonderful.

"Race was really mad." Sarah giggled as she jumped onto the sidewalk. Shaun smirked.

"He's just jealous."

"Maybe he has a crush on you." She nudged Shaun who rolled her eyes.

"It's not like that. Besides everyone seems to know about me and Spot."

"How can we not? You guys spend every waking minute together!"

"Not true!" Shaun laughed scanning shop windows for cheap dresses. "He doesn't follow me to work."

"Well he's stolen my job from picking you up in the afternoons."

"I can't help it. Spot and I are just…"

"In love." Sarah finished. "I understand. Jack and I are like that too." She gestured toward a store cuddled in a corner of two buildings. "I find the best things there, St. Mark's."

Shaun held the door open and they were greeted by two nuns. After a short conversation involving weather, Sarah led the way to the back where a large metal rack held numerous gowns. It didn't take long for Shaun to pick an emerald green empire waisted frock, and a light pink princess cut piece. "Those will look great on you!" Sarah smiled continuing to peruse the rack.

"I wonder if they're out of my budget." Shaun countered checking the price tags. Sarah shook her head picking something blue and frilly.

"They're reasonable here." Each ended up being five dollars.

"Not bad." Shaun replied draping them over her arm and following Sarah about the store. By the end of the trip Sarah had ended up spending more than the ten dollars Shaun did. "I thought you were going to be frugal." She teased as Sarah blushed.

"I needed clothes."

"Oh sure, to impress Jack with." they laughed.

"I guess so; the need to be beautiful hasn't really faded. Sometimes I feel like he'll find another girl. I see the way the others look at him."

"Does he look back?" Sarah shook her head. "Then no worries."

"You don't worry? I know Spot is…popular." Shaun burst into laughter. "What?"

"I don't worry." Sarah was silent and she continued. "I know Spot would never betray me I feel it every time he touches me, every time he takes me out, or looks in my eyes. It just would never happen. Not once."

"You sound like you're really in love." Sarah sighed. "I don't know if Jack and I are there yet." Shaun flushed.

"Well, you'll be fine." Sarah noticed she was uncomfortable and changed the subject.

"The annual newsie rally is coming up next week." Shaun nodded. She had heard from the boys, another event that caused excitement, who explained it became tradition after the strike. "It's huge."

"I heard I'm excited to see the infamous Medda and hear strike stories." Sarah smiled.

"The strike changed everyone's life. Literally. If it wasn't for Pulitzer's change in pricing I would have never met Jack."

They reached Sarah's apartment building and trudged up the stairs to her home. Esther Jacobs greeted them with a tin of banana bread and tea.

"How was shopping girls?" she inquired while Sarah ushered Les to the table and Shaun set out plates.

"Great Mama, Shaun and I found a lot of great clothes."

"I hope you saved some money Sarah," Esther said sending a knowing glance toward her daughter. Shaun smiled as she plopped into a chair next to the little boy. Les reached over to grab a few slices during the mother daughter argument.

"Maybe we should wait for everyone else." Shaun whispered. Les scrunched his face but eventually nodded and dropped his arm. She thought of Mattie as she had afternoon tea and showed Esther the dresses. Once the sun dropped behind the buildings Shaun waved her goodbyes and exited the Jacobs home.

The air on her way back to Manhattan Lodging house was crisp and refreshing as she raised her face to the wind. There was a minimal amount of noise and people on the streets. It was odd for New York to be so quiet it was unsettling. Crossing her arms tightly across her chest she hurried toward Central Park.

As she followed the familiar paths and passed the occasional couple she thought of the maze. She could hear Manchester's voice calling to her, feel his presence behind her. Quickening her pace she attempted to think of something else.

_He's not here_ she told herself willing her subconscious to understand and quell the visions of Abigail's shaking feet as she lost air. Shaun stumbled toward a bench and collapsed. Why now? She wondered. Why all of a sudden was she suffering from a panic attack? Rubbing warmth into her arms she longed for Spot.

"You are a disgrace!" Shaun's eyes widened at the sharp tone. "I can't believe you are my child!" Jerking her head to the right she waited. The lamps were being lit casting a fog throughout the park. Taking a deep breath Shaun stood watching as the daunting figure emerged. Behind Beth Kenneth was Mattie being dragged by his arm tears streaked his face.

"Mama please!" he begged trying to pull away. "I didn't mean to!" his cries pierced Shaun's heart. Here was the woman that had sent her to that maze, the woman that was now abusing her brother. She was unable to contain her rage.

"Stop it!" Shaun shrieked covering the distance between them in a matter of seconds. She snatched her mother's wrist and forced her to release Mattie. "Stop it!" she repeated wrapping her arms around her brother and moving him to her side. Beth stared in disbelief as if Shaun was a ghost. Slowly her hand clasped around her mouth. "That's right mother." She raised her chin in defiance. "I'm alive."

"Shaun!" Mattie screamed grabbing her skirts. "Shaun, Shaun!" fresh tears dripped down his cheeks. "Shaun is it you! Are you coming home?" Turning away from Beth she bent down to face Mattie. Smiling she placed her palm on his wet face.

"No Mattie," she said watching his eyes darken. "I'm not coming home."

"Shaun," he whispered tightening his grip. "Please don't leave me again, please!" his voice cracked.

"Matthew!" Beth lunged to grab him but Shaun was faster. A sense of accomplishment swelled inside her as she slapped her mother's hand away. Beth gasped.

"Let me tell you something _Beth_," Shaun's tone seethed with hatred and she could tell her mother heard it. "You _will_ be seeing me and I promise you I will take everything away from you. Just like you tried to take everything from me, just wait."

"Shaun?" Mattie whimpered unsure of who the girl was standing beside him.

"Mattie don't worry I'm going to come back for you." She smiled at the scared boy, the warmest smile she could conjure. The darkness that had filled his eyes moments earlier dispersed. "Be brave for me okay?" he nodded reluctantly releasing her skirts. She turned narrowed eyes back on her mother. "When I come for him, if I find one scratch…" she trailed off incapable of voicing the threat she could feel.

"You worthless- "

"Worthless mother?" Shaun laughed. "I've heard it all before and the only worthless person here is you." She kissed her brother quickly hugged him close and ran. Shaun ran as fast as she could dropping her shawl ignoring the cold. Instead of heading home she headed to Spot.

* * *

"Spot!" she screamed the tears pouring from her eyes concealing everything around her. "Spot! Spot! Spot!" She slammed her body against a set of crates and crumpled to the ground. Her palms scraped against the dirt, small rocks jutting into her hands. "Dammit!" she began to slam them ignoring the pain. Over and over. "Why!" her sobs racked her petite form keeping her breath from coming out. "Why!" her throat burned her voice hoarse. "Spot!"

"Shaun!" she felt two arms fall about her and heave her to her feet. "Shaun!" his tone was frantic. "Oh god, what happened?"

"Spot," she sobbed.

"It's okay now." He whispered pulling her so close she felt she might melt inside of him. "I'm here." For a newsie, someone who did manual labor, his caress was gentle his voice soothing. Slowly he locked their fingers and brought her hand to his lips kissing it. Then he turned it over and kissed the scrapes from the rocks paying no mind to the blood. Shaun watched him her eyes red, itchy, her lips quivering.

"I saw her." She forced herself to say. "My mother." Spot stared at her intently. "I would have never been able to do what I did if I wasn't so incredibly in love with you." His blue eyes widened his face fell, his lips parted. She had never seen such blatant shock on the newsboys face. "You saved me Spot, you made me strong."

"Shaun." His hand slipped behind her neck and their lips met in a fury of passion. Spot pushed back her messy hair stumbling back until she was between him and the wall. The love Shaun finally admitted nearly suffocated her and she broke away gasping.

Spot's eyes were the bluest she had ever seen, so intense. They were both breathing heavily tangled up in each other. He reached down and swept her off her feet cradling her against him.

Shaun said nothing she only studied him in awe. Everything she had, everything she was, she had laid it at his feet. Spot carried her into the warehouse and towards his bedroom. "Shaun." He said again his voice confident, deeper. "I'm not letting you say good night."

* * *

Rolling over Shaun stretched her arms out to find him. Instead of Spot she discovered a cool side of the bed. Rubbing her eyes she sat up and yawned. Her face was still swollen from the tears she had shed last night, but her heart wasn't nearly as broken. Smiling at the nights events she bent down to retrieve her watch. Flipping open the gold cover she cursed. Shaun only had half an hour to make it to work from Brooklyn. Snatching her clothes she dressed in seconds and dashed down the steps.

"Have a good time yesterday?" she jerked her head to see Patriot. He was smiling. She blushed ferociously and quickened her pace.

"I'd rather not talk about it." She commented picking up her skirts and beginning to run. Patriot jogged beside her easily matching her strides.

"You might have to considerin' we all know you stayed the night."

"Patriot!" she snapped. "Mind your own business!" The boy laughed as he veered away from her.

"Will do ma'am!"

"And don't call me ma'am!" he was gone before her last demand reached him. Gritting her teeth she pushed her legs to move faster and hoped no one else would accost her.

* * *

"Shaun!" she cringed at Logan's high pitched call. "Shaun get out here!" she had no idea what could possibly be wrong. By the grace of god she had made it to work just as Logan was unlocking the door. He suspected nothing when she stumbled inside and collapsed against the counter. The most he said was to make sure she woke up in enough time not to have to run to work.

"Yes?" she asked emerging from the store room. "Racetrack!" she exclaimed recognizing the newsboys that were currently piling through the door. "Blink, Mush, Jack?" she stared in bafflement.

"I want them out of here." Logan sneered violently stacking books. "They'll deter customers." The boys ignored him.

"Shaun where the hell have you been?" Race began his face scrunched into a fierce expression. "We worried all night, I barely went to sleep, and guess what? I missed the distribution center this morning!"

"Race I- "

"We're not done!" Mush chimed in his tone less harsh and more concerned. "It wasn't only Race that stayed up all night, but the rest of us too." He pushed the Italian back as he stepped forward. "You can't disappear like that Shaun, even the Jacobs were worried!"

"Yeah! We all showed up at Sarah's door at three in the morning." Closing her eyes she touched her fingertips to her forehead.

"You guys, listen, I was fine okay?"

"Okay? It's not okay!" Racetrack started again, his screams pushing Logan over the edge. She could see the vein in Logan's head popping to full capacity.

"Alright, alright, can we take this outside?" she urged glancing at Logan for permission. He narrowed his eyes in reluctance but at Race's continuing rant eventually gestured his agreement. Shaun pushed each of them out the door and half a block from the store. "Can you let me explain?" she yelled over the chatter.

"Come on; let's allow her to tell us what happened." Jack encouraged. Shaun smiled at him gratefully.

"This isn't a smiling matter…" Race grumbled crossing his arms. She attempted not to chuckle at his serious demeanor and took a deep breath.

Shaun was unable to lie to the newsboys. They had become her closest family, and best friends. A part of her felt embarrassed to admit she had been with a man all night. Yet a larger part knew they'd accept her anyway. There was no societal law about purity in their world.

"I was with Spot, in Brooklyn." They stared not one saying a word. It was Jack who broke the silence.

"All night?" he inquired his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"…yes." She confirmed raking her eyes across the crowd of boys. Each reaction was generally the same, except Blink who didn't seem the least bit surprised. Instead he grinned giving thumbs up.

"You what?" Race cried.

"Okay I have to get back to work, you all know I was fine, ask Spot if you don't believe me. See you later!"

"Wait, we're not done, you were where!" Mush and Blink began dragging Race away as she waved. Releasing a sigh she dragged herself back to work only to face a perturbed Logan.

"You can't have visitors during the work day." He scolded his aggravation from earlier slowly dissipating.

"I had no idea they were coming, honestly." He shrugged shoving a set of ledgers her way.

"Don't worry about it, just get back to work." Shaun sat gratefully on the stool behind the counter. She watched Logan organize books for a few minutes before turning to the journals. It was time to check inventory, the long arduous task she hated, but at least was paid for it. "I heard," Logan called from the back. "That you won't be in to work on Friday." Shaun stiffened.

"What?"

"Joel Bennett paid my family an unexpected visit a day ago."

"He did what?" she dropped the ink pen and fought the desire to grab her shawl and pay Joel an _unexpected visit_.

"That's right." Logan sauntered toward the desk and leaned on it. "I had no idea you both were such good friends."

"We're not."

"Really? Yet he wants to take you to the Hamptons?"

"I see he didn't spare any details." She growled trying to focus on the ledgers.

"So tell me how someone like you knows Joel?" he taunted. Shaun clenched her fists.

"Logan, I try my best not to press you to tell me anything about your life, so I request you leave me alone." He shrugged straightening.

"I don't like secrets Shaun, and I'm your boss. You're lucky I know Joel or else I'd fire you."

"For what reason?" she snapped watching as he retreated back to the shelves.

"I own this place; I don't need to give you one." Shaun spent the rest of the day quiet and defensive. She was relieved when five o'clock rolled around and Logan bid her farewell. She moved fast through the streets deciding, for once, she wanted to be alone.

A sense of guilt was seizing her thoughts. If Logan knew Joel was determined to take her out, who else would find out? She and Spot had bonded, she had finally expressed her feelings, and at this critical moment her world was crumbling.

If only she hadn't gone on an errand with Logan, if only Joel hadn't seen her, if only…she sighed. To her surprise the lodging house was empty when she reached it. Thankful not to be greeted by curious glances and badgered by questions she entered her room and closed the door. She rested for a moment before locking it and dragging herself toward her bed. Dropping her shawl she fell face forward and moaned. How much worse could things get?

* * *

Her heart was pounding and her limbs shaking. She felt numb as she stood in the early morning chill searching for Joel Bennett. Shaun hadn't slept at all the night before. She had spent the evening mulling over a solution to her complicated problem.

Finally deciding she would show up only to call it off it had been five a.m. To bypass the boys she had crawled out the window and exited through the back alley. Now she constantly glanced over her shoulder expecting one of them, or worse Spot, to show up out of nowhere.

"Shaun." She shrieked clasping her heart and spinning around. Joel had his hands up in defense, a smile plastered on his face. "It's just me." He laughed when she released a breath. "Why so jumpy?"

"I," she struggled for words. "I just," he shook his head.

"Don't worry about it."

"Look Joel I just want to tell you that I won't be coming today." He groaned in aggravation settling his arm around her shoulders. She was surprised at his lack of propriety as he tugged her toward the coach.

"Must we go through this again?"

"Joel, just take no for an answer. Please."

"I will not take no for an answer, and if I have to camp in front of your work for months I will." She shuddered at the reaction of Spot if he found a man sleeping in front of the store begging for her to go away with him.

"Joel,"

"Shaun," he paused turning her to face him. "Please. Just do this for me." His eyes were so intense and earnest she found herself unable to protest any longer.

"Fine, but I need to be back by six pm." He beamed causing her to blush slightly.

"Plenty of time! Cody?" a man stepped down from the driver's seat and opened the door for them. She had forgotten the feel of plush velvet seats or the view through clean windows. The carriage bounced along the cobblestones as they began to move. "So, did you sleep well last night?" Joel inquired smiling at her across the car.

"Truthfully, no." he laughed.

"Shaun despite wherever you have been these past couple of months, you surely haven't changed. The fire in you still burns just as bright as ever." She sucked in a breath at the analogy of fire. Her eyes half closed as she heard Manchester's voice creep into her consciousness. _I look forward to your fiery sarcasm becoming extinguished._ "Shaun?" she tightened her grip on the edge of the seats. Joel leaned over touching her cheek.

"Don't touch me!" she cried jerking back. Joel quickly lowered his arm watching her. It wasn't confusion, pity, or anger on his face but concern. Shaun attempted to calm herself. "I'm sorry, I just…thought of something."

"It's okay." He responded. They sat in silence until Shaun noticed the bridge leading to the shore.

"I haven't been to the beach in awhile." She whispered scooting closer to the door.

"I'm glad I'll be the first person you see it with this year."

"Do your parents know we're here?" she demanded.

"I don't need to tell my parents where I am going, and who I am going with."

"I'm surprised they're allowing their golden boy to gallivant around with paupers." She commented nearly tumbling forward as the carriage lurched to a stop. Joel took her jabs in stride, gently catching her.

"First I'm not their golden boy, and second you are far from a pauper Shaun."

"Are you blind?" she asked reluctantly accepting the driver's hand as she exited the coach. "I'm working at a book store."

"A pauper is someone with nothing. And I believe you have a great deal of something."

"Will you stop that!" she screamed stomping toward the beach. "Stop saying all these weird things, stop asking me on a date. Joel I'm not right for you! I don't understand why you're so interested."

"And who says you're not right for me? Your mother?"

"Me, I say!" she sunk into the soft sand as she moved further near the water.

"Why?"

"Dammit Joel," she clenched her fists. "I'm not the same person I was when you met me."

"Then who are you?"

"Someone who's lost her ability to be in this world." She spun in a circle pointing at the large estates. "I _hate_ this place, I _hate _these people, and I especially _hate _my mother and father!" Shaun kicked at the incoming waves. "I hate them do you understand? This is who I am! I'd rather die in the cold with no money than go back to that world that tried so desperately to break me. And you have no idea how far they went."

"Then tell me Shaun." Joel grabbed her wrist pulling her close. "Tell me." She felt his breath against her face.

"Joel."

"I hate this place, I hate these people, and I hate what my family has desperately been trying to make me. I'm not a cut throat business man. I'm not a fake gentleman. And the only person I found who can understand this is you. So tell me Shaun, talk to me," his eyes softened, "You're the only one I can trust." She sighed tearing herself from his grip.

"I've been in New York all these months." She watched the white foam rise on the current and then fall with the break. "In hell."

"I see you survived." He wasn't mocking her, he was stating a clear fact, and she laughed.

"Yes, with the help of someone."

"Someone obviously very important to you." She turned around and flushed.

"How can you tell?"

"Your tone." He stepped beside her shoving his hands into his pockets. "What's their name?"

"Spot." She smiled. "Spot Conlon."

"I see." He slipped his hand in hers and began to run.

"Where are we going?" Shaun called stumbling behind him.

"To my house!" she laughed as they slipped on the wet sand, and became drenched with waves. The numb panic she had felt earlier had dissipated and how she felt was similar to how Spot made her feel.

The Bennett estate stretched across more than an acre of land. Shaun stared in awe as they clambered up the marble steps towards the garden. Flower bushes had been strategically placed to create a seating area. Ivy crawled up the brick sides nearly covering the French doors that Joel pushed open.

They entered the kitchen where a few servants were currently cooking. Joel greeted them cheerfully, pulled her through the French themed dining room and then up another set of marble stairs. Finally Joel paused near a door winked at her and opened it into a sun room that ran into a balcony. The furniture was expensive, velvet, and plush. Cushions adorned every chair, a soft carpet silenced their footsteps, and a large table had already been set with cakes and teas. She glanced at Joel who smiled broadly.

"I told everyone you were coming." Shaun bit her lip blinking furiously. Joel could not see her cry. "If you step on the balcony you can see the ocean." She nodded and crept toward it. Hesitantly she pushed open the glass doors gasping at the view. The Atlantic had never been bluer, the sand whiter, and the sky radiant.

"Joel will you be honest with me?"

"Always." Shaun leaned against the wooden railing breathing in the sea air.

"What are your intentions?" he laughed heartily situating himself beside her. "I'm serious."

"Oh I know you are." He sighed smoothing back already smooth hair. "I feel like I've been extremely obvious about my intentions."

"How?"

"Well, I've brought you to my home for one. I don't do that with everyone." She shrugged.

"I suppose."

"I've also invited you to a dinner party with my parents, which you declined."

"I don't know if that counts."

"It counts very much."

"And what if I haven't picked up on these _obvious_ _intentions_, will you tell me what they are."

"I'd rather wait for a more appropriate setting."

"No more appropriate setting than this." Shaun crossed her arms.

"Well don't blame me in the future if you decide this isn't."

"Joel, what on earth are you talking about?" she exclaimed suddenly becoming frustrated. They were traveling in circles and she had no idea where it was heading. He bent to one knee and fished in his pocket until he produced a box. "No, no, no," she began jerking upright.

"I haven't even said anything." Joel chuckled opening the top. Shaun covered her mouth with her hand as the diamonds glinted off the sun. "Shaun Kenneth, will you marry me?" breathing in and out she dropped her arm and shook her head.

"No."

"You sure a tough person to propose to."

"No Joel, I won't marry you, and I would really like to go home now." He sighed loudly returning the box inside his suit jacket. Reluctantly he called for Cody and led her out of the house and back towards the carriage. Shaun was relieved to see the familiar buildings of Manhattan as they neared the book store. Halfway down the block she called for Cody to stop and jumped out. Joel followed her easily snatching her wrist before she could escape.

"Shaun!"

"Joel I just can't!"

"Okay I won't push you into anything, but just do me a favor."

"Let me go first." He obeyed and she turned to him.

"Think about it for me? And please change your mind."

"Goodbye Joel."

"See you _soon_ Shaun." He emphasized watching her until she faded into the crowd.

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm trying to write more but I've been so intensely busy! Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate you all! **


	20. Someone Like You

Chapter Eighteen- Someone Like You

Her breaths were uneven as she half walked half ran. Shaun did not want to go to work, she did not want to see any of her Manhattan boys, and she definitely would not see Spot. It felt as if her emotions, her being, was jumbled up about to explode. Puzzle pieces that had been fitted so perfectly before were now at a loss.

Joel Bennett had disrupted her life. He brought back memories, brought back pain; brought back fears and insecurities Spot and the Newsboys were beginning to mend. Now, when she finally admitted to Spot she loved him, Joel asked her to marry him. She hadn't said yes but a part of her felt as if she were cheating on him, cheating on everyone really.

Stumbling off the sidewalk she pressed her back to a damp alley wall. Shaun closed her eyes attempting to regain her sense of reality. Slowly as she was breathing through her nose she focused her vision. Just a few steps away was a familiar shack. _Al's Bar_ she read and without second thought made her way determinedly to the door. She could hear Spot's warnings as she entered the stagnant air. Ignoring the snickers and cat calls she slid onto a stool at the bar.

"Al." she said waiting for the burly man to appear. He stepped out of the smoke raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"Why hello Miss, and where is ya friend?"

"Working." He nodded knowingly. "So how about some whiskey?"

"I don't know about that miss, not the kinda stuff ya should be drinkin' alone."

"Al I didn't come here for a lecture. If I wanted that I would have visited my _friend_ instead." He sighed reaching below the counter and going through the typical motions.

"Alright Miss, but I ain't takin' any responsibility for what happens when you can't see straight." She smiled accepting the glass graciously and taking a large gulp. It only took four glasses of the liquor to get her tipsy, and another four to when she was flirting flamboyantly with the men at the bar.

Al watched from afar worried of the girl's well being. Motioning for his apprentice to take over he stepped out from behind his post. Waving at a few regulars he climbed the rickety stairs to the most popular room in his building. Knocking lightly he waited.

"Coming!" a muffled voice called and after a few loud thuds the door swung open. Inside was a disheveled girl with black hair, green eyes, and creamy skin. If Al had been a few years younger he would have hit on her. "Al," she groaned turning and collapsing on her messy bed. "I had a late night."

"You always have late nights Viola, and ya function fine when there's men to seduce." She chuckled sitting up and grabbing a pack of cigarettes.

"They give me what I need Al, and you don't."

"I give you a house in which to conduct ya business." She took a healthy drag.

"So what is it ya need?"

"Ya know Spot Conlon?"

"Of course," she grinned placing the cigarette on a bowl before standing. "He's a good friend of mine."

"Good enough to do a favor for him?" she nodded as she shifted through a tiny closet of satin dresses. "His girl, Shaun, she needs your help." Viola snorted as she pulled on black stockings.

"And why should I help her?" she snapped them onto her slip before tugging on her skin tight dress.

"Because Spot would love ya for it." she snorted before asking Al to help button her dress while she ran black around her eyes.

"I'll help her, but only cause I value Spot's friendship."

"Good girl." He slapped her back and quickly made his way downstairs. By the time he reached the counter Shaun was being handled by an eager customer. "Hey!" the man ignored him sliding his hand down her back. _Spot's gonna kill me_ Al thought reaching for the guy's collar. Before he could grasp the fabric Viola was by Shaun's side pulling her back.

"Josiah!" she exclaimed shoving the half glass of whiskey Shaun had ordered away. "Good to see ya honey." Al watched as she worked her charm. "I see you met my friend Shaun."

"Er, yeah." He commented fidgeting slightly.

"A dear isn't she? Well I just wanted to let ya know she's under contract with a certain," she paused dramatically moving closer to Josiah. "Gang? Is that the word?" Viola touched his cheek with her fingertips. "And I don't think they'd wanna know you were touching their girl now would they?"

"No, I guess not." With a hundred watt smile from Viola, Josiah stood and left grumbling to the other men who had been interested. Al shook his head in disbelief.

Everyone knew Viola was connected with a few bad apples. She had been shipped from Russia and immediately after stepping off the boat had been snatched into the New York underworld.

Al had heard stories of the days she had been a Russian ballerina, trained in the finest school to dance for the Czar himself, but instead she escaped. Now she was an opiate junkie and prostitute who could drop names of the cruelest drug lords and gang leaders. After her explanation of the contract no one would mess with Shaun again. She was clever. Al had to give her credit.

"Shaun?" she asked moving to stand in front of her.

"Who are you?" she asked her words slurred.

"My name is Viola, and I'm gonna take you home." Her voice was gentle and kind, the kindest Al had ever heard it. Her Russian accent only softened the tone making her seem maternal.

"No, I can't!" Shaun cried reaching for the whiskey. Viola intercepted her.

"Fine, if not home then where?" She paused her eyes wandering the bar. Viola waited patiently.

"The shipyards."

"The shipyards?" Viola repeated skeptically. "What on earth is there?"

"Someone I need to see." She stumbled as she pushed herself off the stool, laughing at her clumsy demeanor. "Oh my!" she gasped continuing to giggle. Viola placed her arm around her waist forcing her to lean against her.

"Let me guide ya dear." She said turning back to Al to roll her eyes. He waved them off hoping for the best. Or else the King of Brooklyn would have his head.

* * *

Shaun had never been drunk before. Not even when she had taken shots with Spot. Of course the scotch had been powerful but Spot had stopped her just as she was tipsy. Now she stumbled beside a Russian woman who she barely knew. Her memories of the past events were blurry, but she did know one thing. She had to see her father. Viola veered off their path insisting she eat something.

"Why?" Shaun whined resisting as if she were a small child.

"It will help you be clear headed."

"I'm clear enough kay? I need to get to the shipyards." Viola ignored her directing her stumbling feet towards the local bakery. "I said no!" she screamed scratching at Viola's grip.

"Don't act spoiled. I'm a little more street smart than you dear." She knocked on the window gesturing towards the cashier. The young man stepped outside smirking at Vi's drunken burden.

"See Al put ya to work. Bout time." She snickered mockingly before making her demands. "I guess I can't say no. Or else Oliver will shut me down." Viola could hear the cold truth behind his words and see the resentment glimmer in his bright eyes.

"Don't say it like that Kyle, ya know I don't make the rules." He shrugged entering the store. It took him less than a second to return with a loaf of bread. "Thanks I appreciate it."

"I wish I could believe you. But we all know ya get special treatment."

"Can we go now!" Shaun screeched still struggling.

"I'll argue about this later." Viola replied.

"There is no argument Vi." Kyle called after her. She sighed loudly tightening her grip on Shaun. After a few minutes of jogging she forced her to eat a couple bites of bread.

"See," she coaxed. "Not so bad." Shaun shrugged reluctantly taking another piece. Her stumbling had faded and slowly she showed signs of sobering up. "Now we're close to the shipyards."

"Good." she lifted her face to the air breathing in the salty scent. "When we get there you can leave." Viola laughed eating what remained of the loaf.

"I'm not leaving you sweetheart. Not until you're safe at home."

"I don't need your help." She sneered. Viola raised an eyebrow.

"No?"

"No."

"Getting drunk, alone, in a shady bar sounds like you need lots of help."

"You sound like Spot." Viola smiled as she pictured the newsboy. The newsboy that was now more attached to this girl than he had been to her. She could feel the warm fingers of jealousy seeping into her being as she watched the auburn haired woman. Shaun was beautiful with honest blue eyes and a strong presence, Viola couldn't deny that.

"I learned a lot from Spot Conlon." Viola admitted reminiscing on her first few days in a local jail. Spot had been placed their too, each suffering through the starvation, cold, and abuse. "I owe him."

"Me too." Shaun whispered veering towards the entrance to the yards. A man greeted them surprised to see two women forcing themselves towards the workers.

"Listen girls," he began holding out his hands. "You can't work this area, wait outside on the corner." Viola felt offense that this man would think Shaun was a prostitute. It was one of the few times she had truly understood 'guilty by association.' She opened her mouth to complain when Shaun stopped her.

"I'm here to see my father, not work a corner." Her eyes were narrowed and arms crossed. Her stance so much like Spot Viola grinned.

"Father?" he stared surprised. "His name?"

"Shaun."

"Shaun? Really?"

"Yes!"

"He's never mentioned a daughter."

"Shaun!" she started screaming brushing past the man. Viola followed her. "Shaun!"

"Hey Missy!" she ignored him grabbing random men and searching their faces.

"Shaun, answer me!" she turned running into a solid figure. Tripping backward she felt a hand grip her forearm.

"That's me." A deep voice responded thick with an Irish brogue. Her blue eyes settled on her father's face for the first time. She swallowed hard sucking in a large gulp of air. Words, and screams, bubbled up her throat but paused before reaching her lips. This was him.

Lines creased his chiseled features. His eyes held all the sorrows and disappointments of life, and his shoulders hunched as if he carried the weight of the world. He was broad and muscular and Shaun could tell that at one point he was very handsome. "Is there something I could do for you?"

"This is your daughter," Viola explained pinching Shaun's back. "You don't know her?" The man furrowed his brows.

"What?" he asked his eyes bearing into Shaun's.

"Beth." She croaked. "Beth is my mother." He released her arm the fingers that were clasped around her turned into a fist.

"Beth," he whispered closing his eyes at the syllables. "I haven't said that name in years."

"She never told you?" Shaun knew the answer but it came out a question.

"Beth told me many things, but that I had a daughter. No." he studied her. "I don't doubt you. You resemble her, and…" he reached toward her face but stopping short. "You have features of me."

"I had to find you." She told him grabbing his arms suddenly. "I have to know."

"Know what?"

"About everything, everything about my mother before."

"Before?"

"She married James Kenneth." Shaun pulled away from him. His jaw tensed.

"What's your name?" he asked ignoring her request.

"Shaun, Shaun Kenneth." He bit his lip, much like she did.

"Really." He said turning and lumbering toward a set of crates. Shaun jogged after him.

"Please!" she begged. "Please tell me!" he groaned plopping down on a stool near a table of gutted fish.

"Shaun," he said running a hand through shaggy curls. "I don't wanna relive my past."

"Please." She fell to her knees. "Please…Dad." It was 'dad' that got him.

"What do you want to know?" he growled deciding not to look at her.

"How you met her." He ran his tongue over his teeth. It took him several moments to answer.

"Beth and I, we lived in the same neighborhood. Two Irish immigrant kids, with nothing." He smiled shaking his head. "Beth was full of dreams. And her parents expectations." His hands coiled into fists and uncoiled as he spoke. "They wanted her to marry an Irish man, have lots of children, and live near them."

"But she wouldn't." Shaun finished. He nodded still refusing to look at her.

"She worked at a local factory helping with printing. It was a factory the Kenneth's owned." He stopped abruptly. Shaun suppressed the urge to force him to continue. The need to hear her mother's past was overwhelming.

She knew she wanted to meet her father, but what they would talk about she had never thought of. Her mother was the last subject she had wanted to mention, but now, now that she was here in front of him it was different. Shaun needed to know if there was something good in her mother, something worth it.

"That's where she met James." Shaun's realization made him speak again.

"He was learning to be a business man, overseeing everything for his father. And Beth was his favorite." Another long pause. "Beth never stopped him from pursuing her. And I never understood. We had been together for two years, had given each other everything. I thought we were going to get married!" His voice rose with years of a broken heart. "And she gave herself to him! Right after me! Dammit!" he slammed his hands on the table and stood.

"I wish you were his so I could hate you!" his voice seethed. Shaun pushed herself off her knees and grabbed his hand. His words weren't a rejection, harsh as they were, but Shaun didn't feel hate for her from him. She felt regret.

"Dad."

"Please don't call me that. I barely know you." He pulled his hand away. "The only way we're related is that I helped create you, but we have no bond." Rejection.

"Finish the story."

"Beth wanted to be rich. She told me I was inadequate. Her parents were trash, she hated her Irish heritage, and that I could take the wedding clothes of my mother's back. She never loved me." His tone was low and filled with rage. "I told her to keep the clothes and I hoped she had a good life. And she left." Shaun realized the white dress she wore was actually from a grandmother she never met. "I hoped she burned those clothes."

"She didn't. I took them." He looked at her for a long time before his gaze softened.

"Then I suppose that would be my second choice."

"Thanks, I needed to hear this." She lunged forward forcing a hug on him. He tensed. Shaun chuckled at his reluctance to pat her back. "I needed to see you, if only once." She found his eyes again. "You can pretend you hate me, but I know you don't. I see something good in you, Dad. You're so much better than Beth." Shaun didn't know how she had affected the man she hadn't seen for eighteen years, but as she walked away she knew it was life changing.

Viola met her at the front gate.

"I can tell you're sober now." She nodded refusing to look back. "Did you get what you needed from your father?"

"Yes." As they walked toward Manhattan Shaun knew she wouldn't see him again. Her father gave her what she needed to make a decision. A decision that would make her mother see herself for what she was. Beth was no one, and nothing, just like the dirt Shaun was leaving foot prints in.

Viola bid her farewell as she dropped her off at the lodging house. The boys were happy to see her safe and sound. And after an hour of visiting she said goodnight and closed the door to her bedroom. Shaun Kenneth knew what she had to do now. She saw her whole future as clear as the water in her basin.

**A/N: Sorry I'm taking so long, honestly. I'm trying so hard to finish this story. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! **


	21. Mattresses Underwater

**A/N: The title of the chapters are my song suggestions. So Mattresses Underwater by Colour Revolt is this one. **

Chapter Nineteen- Mattresses Underwater

"I haven't seen you in a couple of days." Spot said studying Shaun carefully.

"I know, I've been busy." He fiddled with the key around his neck.

"Busy?"

"Yes Spot." Shaun tried to keep her voice calm but she knew he detected the edge.

"Shaun, what did I do?" Spot's voice was suddenly quiet and trembling with vulnerability. "Viola told me you got drunk at Al's the other night." _Traitor_ Shaun thought. They were both standing on the docks looking at the Hudson. The water was turbulent much like Shaun's emotions.

She clenched her fists at the gentle touch of Spot's hand against her cheek. She hadn't cheated on him, but why did it feel like she had? One date with Joel wasn't that bad and Spot was unaware she had spent time with him. Yet as she turned towards the intense blue eyes she felt incredible guilt.

Deep down Shaun knew it wasn't the date that had changed her demeanor. It was the plan she had devised, the future she had decided to make for herself. Taking Spot's hand she kissed it and forced a smile. She had to be normal, at least with him, because time was diminishing.

"You didn't do anything Spot. You're amazing," she paused to rest another kiss on his palm. "I saw my Dad, that's all, and it just upset me. But I promise everything's okay now." His eyes were narrowed but eventually he accepted her excuse.

"Shaun I'd rather you talk to me than get drunk."

"I know."

"Luckily Al found Viola to keep you safe. I mean stumbling around New York City isn't my idea of fun."

"Spot," she stressed. "Next time I get drunk I'll bring you along." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her into him.

"Let's hope you don't have to be drunk for awhile." She inhaled his scent feeling the love and passion radiating from him.

"I have you." She whispered. "You're all I need to check out of reality." He tilted her chin and pressed his lips against hers. How would Spot ever forgive her? She wondered as he led her to the warehouse.

* * *

Shaun taped her fingers impatiently on the front desk. Logan had neglected to come to work today. There was no one she could find in order to discover his whereabouts, and while she knew his home was behind her he had forbade her entrance. Clenching her teeth she swept through the inventory book once more hoping to direct her thoughts.

_At least he trusts you_ she assured herself attempting to find the good in the situation. Yet she couldn't help imagining him hurt somewhere, lost, or alone. Logan Whitefield may act like he was a man, but he was still very much a boy. As the six o'clock hour neared and she began closing up she heard the most terrifying sound; the floor above her shuddered with the abrupt weight of something. Shaun dropped the books she had been carrying and swung open the door that led into Logan's house.

No one could be found as she slid into the kitchen and searched for the source of noise. Her mind was threatening her with pictures of Logan bleeding, or dead. Gasping she tumbled up a set of stairs she had come across. After a few empty rooms she stumbled upon a person. It was a man, elderly and sickly, lying in a tangle of sheets on the ground. The bed had somehow been tipped on its side and currently the man was knocking over glasses and books trying to stand.

"Sir!" Shaun breathed falling onto her knees beside him. "What's wrong?" he was shaking uncontrollably in her arms his eyes rolling back in his head. "Oh god, what do you need?" she shrieked her eyes watering in panic.

Gently resting him on the sheets she began opening drawers and doors looking for medication. "Sir, talk to me, stay with me!" she kept screaming glancing over her shoulder at him, now foaming at the mouth. "No, no, please!" she returned to him holding him against her chest. "I won't leave you." She whispered. "I'll stay here." His knobby fingers wrapped around her shoulder squeezing with more strength then she thought he was capable of.

"Logan…" he gasped choking on spit. His teeth chattered and eventually pierced his tongue. Blood dripped from the side of his mouth and finally the movement stopped. Shaun held him her eyes widened in surprise. His hand slid slowly down her arm and thumped against the floor. The sound resonated inside her as she stared at his white eyeballs.

"Shaun?" she jumped recognizing the sharp tone. "Shaun what are you doing?" Slowly she allowed the man to crumple onto the floor before straightening. Logan entered the room his lips in a firm line. His gaze found hers and never left as if he refused to look at the person next to the bed. "What are you doing up here?" he asked quietly.

"Logan, I'm sorry, I,"

"I told you not to come up here."

"I heard something fall, you didn't come in today I was worried."

"Didn't I tell you not to come up here?"

"Logan, I didn't know what to do! Should we call a doctor?"

"Didn't I tell you?" he repeated his voice never rose nor fell.

"Logan." She moved toward him watching his muscles tense his teeth grind against each other. "Who is this?" His mouth opened and all he released was a shriek.

"My father!" he exclaimed. "My father!" He shoved her aside rushing to the motionless man. "What did you do?" he cradled his head in the crook of his neck. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! He started shaking, I couldn't do anything! I couldn't find any medications!"

"Get out, Get out, Don't ever come back, ever You're fired!" His eyes were enough to convince Shaun to leave. Carefully she traveled down the steps holding every wall, and every rail she came by. It took her thirty minutes longer to reach the lodging house, and when she did she said nothing to anyone. Instead she locked her door and fell onto her bed.

* * *

"Shaun?" Racetrack called through the door. When there was no response he glanced back at the others and shrugged.

"Shaun, you need to eat!" Jack said rattling the door knob. "You can't keep yourself locked up for two days." The boys waited for a sign she was alive and heard nothing.

"I guess we have no choice." Blink stated turning to Snipeshooter and making a gesture. "We have to get him."

"And who will he be pissed at?" Race growled. "Us!" Blink held his hands up in defeat.

"We have no other choice! He's pissed anyway! He hasn't seen her for two days, and no one's telling him anything."

"Race, unfortunately, he's right." They all exchanged looks before tugging themselves away from Shaun. "And we have no idea what happened."

"Something awful." Mush commented wringing his hands. "What if someone did something to her?"

"Shut up!" Race yelled. "And if someone did we'll beat their ass!" There were murmurs of agreement as they situated themselves around the lodging house. Slowly silence stretched throughout the room as they waited grimly for Spot Conlon.

Spot had lost Snipeshooter at the docks. The minute he had heard Shaun wasn't eating, speaking, and refusing to see others his stomach flipped. It had been a few days and he hadn't seen her, and of course he had been distraught but he was afraid.

Afraid to approach her incase suddenly she had decided to leave him. Spot knew as the Manhattan home came into view that if he lost her he would lose himself. Inside her hands she held every piece of his heart, and soul, and he wasn't sure if she knew. The others stood as he entered barely stopping to catch his breath. He began pounding his fists on her door.

"Shaun Kenneth!" his tone was on the edge of becoming deadly. "If you don't open this door and talk to me, I swear!" he stopped banging long enough for an answer but received none. "Don't you ignore me!" he screamed.

He wanted to tell her that he was worried and fearful but he couldn't show anymore weakness in front of the others. "In the count of five I'm coming in." he continued switching from his fists to his feet.

His strength intensified with the determination to see her and make sure she was fine. To find who ever had hurt her and kill them. "Five!" Racetrack and Jack helped him kick down the door and when they entered their mouths fell. The window was opening, the curtains fluttering, and Shaun was gone.

* * *

Shaun stood outside the bookstore with her arms wrapped around herself. She had to speak with Logan, apologize, do anything to help him. Finally she understood exactly why he was the way he was. His father had been dying and he most likely was taking care of his family. The poor fifteen year old had to have grown up fast, too fast. For the first time since working there the sign on the door said 'closed.' Shaun felt tears as she pushed it open anyway and prepared herself for the argument to come.

"Logan!" she cried moving down all the book shelves and noticing large chunks missing. "Logan it's Shaun." She tried again swallowing hard as she headed into his kitchen. "I really would like to speak with you!" gripping the railing she traveled up the stairs checking each room. In the same room Logan's father had died she found him. Lying on the ground with an empty bottle of whiskey. "Oh my gosh!" she slid across the wood floor grabbing the bottle and lifting his head. "Logan."

"Get off me." He slurred attempting to shove her away.

"No!"

"You murderer!" he rolled off of her and emptied his stomach. "You murderer." He repeated using his shirt to wipe the vomit.

"Logan," the tears Shaun had felt earlier slipped down her cheeks. "You're destroying yourself."

"Yeah? So what?"

"Why? Stop it!" she grabbed his arms and forced him to look at her. "Why?"

"Get off!" his eyes snapped shut and he aimlessly tried to hit her.

"No, I won't leave until you tell me why you're doing this!"

"My dad's dead." He answered leaning his back against the night stand. "He's dead."

"Where's your mother?"

"On her honeymoon. She hasn't come back since my dad got sick."

"What?"

"When my father became nothing she left him."

"Logan we need to sober you up. Please come with me." He said nothing when she helped him off the floor. Instead he leaned against her heavily allowing her to run her hand up and down his back. Shaun led him out of the shop, locking the door behind them, and down the busy sidewalks.

They received a few curious glances which Logan barely noticed. He was sobbing beside her murmuring various things she couldn't understand. Shaun tightened her grip. The maternal instincts she normally felt for Mattie extended to the teenager next to her.

Logan's world had been turned upside down and Shaun played a part in it. Since she had returned to the lodging house she hadn't slept. The entire evening she was overwhelmed by guilt and eventually at three a.m. she had snuck out.

Al's place was empty as she pushed Logan onto a stool. He slumped over the counter most likely asleep.

"Viola!" Shaun yelled up the steps. "Viola it's Shaun!"

"Dammit, it's morning." The Russian woman growled wrapping a silk robe around her. "What are you doing here?" she stomped down the stairs wiping sleep from her eyes.

"I have someone who's really drunk, and I don't know what to do." Rolling her eyes she sauntered to the boy and shook him.

"You awake?" her voice echoed about the bar.

"Yes, jeez." He said rubbing his face.

"Good, we're gonna get you some bread alright? Now stay awake or I'll punch you where the sun don't shine." Logan nearly straightened completely. _At least he still has a brain_ Shaun thought watching as Viola raided the cupboards.

"Al never keeps food in here." She mumbled throwing random things about before producing a loaf of bread. "Lesson number one," she began, "Starch soaks up the alcohol." Logan hesitantly accepted the brown bread and eventually ate it when Viola made a move to stuff it in his mouth.

"I'll remember that." Shaun answered.

"In fact eating in general is important dear, which is why I stressed it to you." She watched him like a hawk before pouring a glass of water. "Sip on this." She commanded before lifting herself to sit on the counter.

"I appreciate this Viola, I really do."

"Why not ask Spot? He could help you." She shoved her hand down her corset and produced a pack of cigarettes.

"I haven't talked to Spot for a couple of days." Viola narrowed her eyes as she took a drag.

"Interesting."

"Viola, I don't want to talk about that, I'd rather talk about him."

"Okay." She shrugged turning her green eyes back to Logan.

"Logan, do you feel better."

"Bathroom." He said and Viola stood.

"I'll help him throw up. You can stay here." She grabbed him and led him to the back. Sighing Shaun fell onto the chair Logan had been occupying.

Massaging her temples she assessed the situation. The least she could do was run the business while Logan sobered up. Shaun trusted Viola enough to watch him despite her ties to gangs and nonchalant demeanor. A few minutes later she returned helping Logan to sit down. "He needs to sleep now and he'll be fine." She said getting him another glass of water.

"Viola I'm going to work, could you watch him for me?" she sighed audibly slamming the tumbler next to Logan before placing her hands on her hips.

"I have clients Shaun. I can't play babysitter."

"Please? This is important."

"So is _my_ work."

"Viola, please?" Groaning she stormed up the steps. Shaun could hear shuffling and banging, and yelling before a man stumbled down the stairs half dressed and out the bar.

"Al, I'm goin' to babysit today. No customer's. Don't ask." She screeched emerging in a scantily clad dress and dragging Logan from the chair. "Fine, but don't expect favors all the time." She snapped pulling the boy behind her. "I'm just doing this 'cause Spot likes you sweetheart." Shaun smiled knowing much better than that. For some reason she wouldn't admit it, but Viola liked her.

* * *

The store was quiet for most of the morning and early afternoon. Shaun spent her time cleaning the shop and Logan's house. As she checked his food supply she decided she might find Sarah and make a few meals. Logan needed help, and he would never ask sober or not. As six o'clock neared she heard the door bell. Turning from a stack of books to greet the customer her face paled.

"Good evening." Beth Kenneth smirked clasping her hands in front of her. Shaun slowly straightened lifting her chin.

"Beth."

"I'm your mother."

"You're a monster." She raised her hand to slap her but Shaun had hers in the air first. Beth screamed.

"What happened!" she shrieked her perfect composure diminishing.

"What do you mean Beth?"

"Stop calling me Beth! Stop being so calm!" she moved closer. "I am your _mother_."

"You were never my mother." Shaun breathed.

"You are going to quit this peasant job and marry someone wealthy."

"What, like you did? Like you abandoned Shaun? Like you used my father and decided to marry the factory owner's son?"

"What? How?"

"I met him Beth, I met Shaun." Her eyes were as large as saucers and her hands began to shake. "He told me everything. How selfish you are, how he _hates _you. And guess what? I hate you too. I hate you, and James."

"Don't you talk to me like that! You will listen to me!"

"No, I won't. I don't need you anymore, don't you see? You have no control over me, now get out."

"I don't know where this attitude came from, but it will stop!" her voice was trembling and the power Beth had over her child was gone.

"You think I would listen to you after I found out you sold me to William Manchester?"

"What?" Shaun smiled as her mother realized she knew much more than she thought.

"You came in here prepared for battle and dominance. Welcome to reality Beth. I saw his records; in fact he almost murdered me in a maze after starving me for months. And if you think you're going to walk out of here and not be punished for what you've done to me, to my father, and to Mattie you're wrong."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Take it as you want, now get out." Her mother searched her face for any sign of faltering. Gritting her teeth she flew from the store and was in the carriage before Shaun could blink.

Releasing a large breath she leaned against the counter. She digested the second encounter. Beth hadn't denied selling her, she hadn't done anything to make Shaun second guess her future plan. Once the shop was closed up and she was outside she had come to the final step, the final conclusion. It was time to begin.

* * *

Shaun hadn't wanted to return to the lodging house. Instead she headed in aimless directions. By the time the sky was black she had traveled down half of Manhattan's streets. Her stomach growled and looking up she decided to eat at the first restaurant she saw.

_Arlen's _drew her attention and glancing both ways she dashed across the road. The restaurant was extremely busy for such a small place. The tables were close together, the walls a warm color, and the wait staff seemed pleasant. All together it was a cozy atmosphere and she smiled to the host before being seated.

Shaun perused the menu hoping she could pick something from all the tasty dishes. It was then she heard someone speak. They weren't someone she knew, but it was the person they were speaking too that she recognized. Her heart stopped as her head snapped upwards. Sitting at the table across from her was a young man with a sullen face. His eyes were cold and lifeless, his ribs were visible through his flannel shirt, and he could barely smile at his visitor.

"Daniel," he said situating himself in a seat across from him. "You need to come home. We haven't seen you in months." The man shook his head. "I know you're upset, but it's time."

"Time for what?" Daniel croaked picking at his potatoes. "Time for what Dad?"

"Time to let her go." He dropped the fork and clenched his fists. "Daniel please." His father pleaded. "I know you loved her."

"You don't understand." His voice almost faded into the chatter about her. "She is my life, dad, _my life_."

"Daniel." Shaun watched as the man wiped tears from his eyes. Daniel's expression remained stern and his body tense.

"Good night dad." His father stood resting a few bills on the table before exiting. Her hands were shaking and her mind reeling. Shaun didn't have to ask, she knew exactly who was sitting less than a foot away. Daniel Prescott, the man who was engaged to Abigail, was in front of her suffering. Excusing herself as the waiter approached her she crossed the distance and plopped down in the chair his father had occupied. "Um," his brows furrowed.

"You don't know me." Shaun said trying to keep her sentences from running together. "My name is Shaun Kenneth, and I'm a friend of Abigail's." his eyes widened and his dirty hands grabbed hers.

"Abigail," he gasped.

"Daniel I need to tell you something."

"You know where she is?" he screamed causing the noise in the restaurant to dissipate. "Where?" She clasped his fingers and squeezed urging herself to continue.

"I met Abigail in a basement. She had been kidnapped by a man named William Manchester."

"Where is she?" he demanded shaking just as bad as she was. "Please tell me! I don't have much but I'll give you all my money, all my belongings if you can just tell me where she is." Shaun couldn't stop the tears and they created patches on his hands. "No," he whispered half out of his chair. "No, please,"

"Her body is in an underground maze,"

"Stop!" he screeched.

"Daniel, listen to me." She stood and gripped his shoulders. "She wanted me to tell you something." His sobs were his answer as he slumped into the chair. Shaun ignored the manager's pleas for them to leave as she moved around the table and kneeled in front of him.

"Daniel look at me." Slowly the broken man's eyes met hers. "Abigail loved you more than anything on this earth," she paused to conjure the words. They were the words she would tell Spot, the feelings that overwhelmed her when he held her, when she touched him. "You were every breath she took, every thought she had, every smile she gave, you were everything Daniel. Absolutely everything so don't do this to yourself. Don't destroy the person Abigail loved."

He stared at her, his sobs becoming quiet sniffles. Shakily he pushed her hands from him and moved to the door. Shaun followed apologizing to the staff before catching up to him on the sidewalk.

"You're right." He murmured lifting his face to the sky. "But it's so hard."

"I don't think I need I need to confirm anything for you, you know she's not coming back right?" Shaun hated how harsh her words sounded.

"Yes, I knew a long time ago." His voice broke. "But I hoped." He gestured at the restaurant. "This was the last place we were." He stared at the building, half standing in the warm glow of lights and half in the shadows.

"I wish with every fiber of my being Abigail had made it, and not me." He turned to her and smiled. A bright, beautiful smile.

"Don't say that. Thank you." Daniel stepped forward and took her hands. "At least I have closure." Tears formed once more. "I can barely live without her, but," he paused to swallow back his pain. "You're right. She would hate to see me this way. So I'll try." He tightened his grip. "I will do my best to…let go." He choked and released her.

"Daniel." He nodded. "Promise me you will, please? I told Abigail I'd give you this message." Shaun wiped the tears from her face as he began to walk away. She didn't need him to answer but watching what a wreck he was it nearly broke her heart. Shaun leaned against a brick wall and sighed. She needed time to think, time alone.

"Shaun?" she didn't open her eyes.

"Joel."

"It's late what are you doing out alone?"

"What are you doing over here?" she questioned wrapping her arms around herself. She heard shuffling of paper.

"Shopping. I know weird, but I needed a few things."

"Am I really so close to the business district?" she wondered aloud finally allowing herself to look at him. He smiled, his gaze drinking her in.

"You are. But I'm glad I can see you." He waited a few moments before continuing. "Have you thought about what we discussed?" she let the silence descend upon them as she pushed herself off the wall. Once inches from his face she reached for his hand. Joel quickly set a few packages down and entwined their fingers.

"Yes Joel." She said quietly.

"Yes what?"

"I will marry you." He beamed dropping all his items and taking her in his arms. While Joel spun her around screaming with happiness Shaun silently cried into his shoulder.

**A/N: Thanks to all who have reviewed! I know this chapter might seem like it was moving pretty fast, but, I don't know. I hope you all enjoy it! **


	22. Like a Star

**A/N: Like a Star by Corrine Bailey Rae is my suggested song for this chapter. **

Chapter twenty- Like a Star

Spot hadn't left the Manhattan lodging house doorstep. He sat his elbows on his knees, and his fingers laced together over his nose. Slowly he breathed in and out wondering why none of his birdies had found her. New York City was a large place, but not large to Shaun. She only knew so many places to go.

"Spot?" Jack sat down beside him leaning forward to see his face. "You alright?"

"Stressed Jackey boy, stressed." The leader nodded. "Why didn't she say anything?" Jack shrugged.

"Not sure. She's been distant lately."

"I realized that, I," he paused deciding it'd be best not to be vulnerable. It was bad enough the Manhattan newsies were witnessing his vigil.

"It's tough I know. It's really tough."

"Shut up." Spot snickered hoping Jack would understand he did not want to share feelings.

It was when the gas lamps were being lit that they saw her. She moved slowly around the corner her hands tangled in her skirts. Spot stood and without hesitation ran.

He was moving faster than he ever had before and it took less than a few seconds to have her in his arms. They were no doubt suffocating her petite form as he buried his face in her hair. He bit his tongue forcing himself not to cry. Not in front of anyone.

"Spot." She mumbled into his chest. Pushing her back he studied her expression. It was sad, pained, and as much as Spot wanted to ask her what was wrong he didn't.

"Where the hell have you been?" he screeched tightening his grip on her shoulders. "I've called out everyone to look for you! I broke your damn door!" He didn't want to yell but it came out anyway. She smiled gently maneuvering out of his grip.

"I should have said something." She spoke quietly. "I'm sorry, really, I just, I got fired from my job."

"What?"

"I was fired, and I felt ashamed so I didn't want to see anyone."

"Ashamed over that?" Spot laughed. "Why? That's stupid."

"It may seem stupid to you Spot," she huffed, "But it's serious to me. It's definitely something to be ashamed about."

"Spot." Jack warned. Spot sighed running his hand through his hair.

"Alright, look, I don't like you any less." he fumbled for words. He wasn't the best at comforting others. "I mean, so what ya screwed up?"

"Spot," Jack sighed.

"What!" he narrowed his eyes. "I'm trying my best here dammit!" Throwing a rather rude gesture towards Cowboy he returned his attention to Shaun. "Just don't leave again, okay? Manhattan was off their rocker with worry." She leaned up and kissed his cheek chuckling at the blush that now spread across his tanned face.

"Shaun!" Racetrack yelled. Spot watched as the others greeted her, berated her, and altogether forgave her. It wasn't until the excitement had worn off and Shaun was inside that Spot had her alone.

"I want you to spend the night with me."

"No." she busied herself with picking up her room while he rested against the doorframe.

"Why not?"

"I'm not up to it tonight Spot." He had never experienced the rejection he was receiving, or her blatant efforts to avoid his gaze.

"What's going on Shaun?" he asked shutting the door. She sighed pulling her curtains closed.

"Nothing."

"You disappear for days, ignore me, hide things from me," he grabbed her wrist pulling her towards him. "Look at me." Her jaw tensed as she obliged. "What's wrong?"

"Spot, I just feel like I need to be alone."

"What? Because you lost your job?" his laugh was sardonic and skeptical.

"No, that's not it, its other things."

"Then talk to me about them." Shaun attempted to move away but he grasped her chin. "Tell me."

"Spot please."

"Shaun!" he nearly suffocated her as he wrapped his arms about her. "Don't." he dropped his forehead to her shoulder inhaling her scent. "Shaun don't say that. Don't tell me you don't want me around." He whispered trying so hard to tell her exactly how he felt.

Spot could make love to her all night, kiss her until she was dizzy, but those were actions. Shaun had no idea how much his heart hurt. Hurt because of how much he adored her. How much he loved her.

And he needed to tell her but he couldn't. "I need you. I never say that. I never tell anyone I need them. But I need you." Shaun took a deep breath as she pulled him onto the bed with her. He laid across her body his head on her chest.

Spot Conlon didn't know that she was engaged. The diamond ring Joel had given her was secured in a velvet box in her nightstand. Eventually she would have to wear it. Eventually she would have to tell Spot goodbye. But tonight, tonight he was crying against her whispering for her not to leave him, and tonight she wouldn't. Instead she lifted his face and kissed him with all the strength and desire she possessed.

* * *

Shaun kissed Spot's forehead before she left her room. He had ended up falling asleep with her and she couldn't bring herself to wake him up. Closing the door gently behind her she was greeted by Jack in the hall.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired as she brushed past him.

"Jack," she groaned. "I've already had to talk about what I did enough."

"Shaun I don't think you notice." She turned to him.

"Notice what?"

"How much you've become a part of everyone's life." He sighed shoving his hands in his pockets. "It's not just Racetrack that's attached to you, or Spot, even if he won't admit it to us, but Sarah, and me, and the rest of the boys."

"I know."

"No, I really don't think you do. Because if you had an idea then you wouldn't have left like you did. You wouldn't have been ignoring Spot like you have. And if you won't talk about it with anyone then how can we help you?" She lowered her gaze from Jack's brown eyes. "While you're out doing whatever it is you're doing just keep that in mind." He took her hand. "Keep in mind that we all love you." Biting her lip to keep the tears at bay she nodded.

"I'm going to meet up with Viola. Let Spot know?"

"Will do." Quickly she exited the building. She wasn't sure how long she could stand the façade. It had been easy when she lived with her parents. Easy to hide the emotional and physical abuse. It was easy because no one honestly loved her, and Mattie was far too young to be told.

Now that she had people to confide in it was harder to lie. She had asked Joel for a couple of days to get things in order and tie up a few loose ends. Of course he had agreed and they had arranged to have him pick her up at Irving Hall.

Tomorrow was the annual newsie rally, the rally that everyone had been talking about, and waiting for. It was the rally that Sarah and she had already picked gowns for, and the rally that Spot had promised to dance with her at.

It was also the rally where Shaun and Spot would tell the story of the maze, and ultimately the rally where she would break Spot's heart.

"Don't we look depressed." Viola commented when Shaun entered the bar.

"I am. Could use a drink." Viola laughed.

"No I'm cutting you off dear." Viola motioned to the stairs. "He's up in my room. Hasn't woken up yet, might have a wicked hang over." She seemed amused by Logan's potential headache.

"Any remedy's for that?"

"Of course! I'm Russian dear, I know plenty about drinking and hang over's." she held up a glass filled with a strange yellow liquid.

"I don't want to ask." Her laugh was hearty this time.

"My room is the one with the door open." Shaun traveled up the creaking steps and found Logan. He was sprawled across Viola's dresses drool soaking her pillow. Smiling she moved to his side.

"Logan." She said shaking him. "Wake up." He barely twitched. She tried again with no avail.

"Not like that!" Viola exclaimed rolling her eyes. "Do I have to do everything for you?" kicking the bed Logan slid to the floor. "Get up!" he moaned wiping his face.

"What?" he mumbled.

"It's time to get up boy!" she grabbed his arms and began dragging him up. "Get on your feet, now." He struggled to stand holding onto her bed once she let go. "You have to face the consequences of getting drunk." She placed her manicured nails on her hips.

"What?" he repeated looking from her to Shaun.

"Punishment." Viola enunciated each syllable. "You're far too young to become a drunk. Alcohol doesn't solve all your problems dear."

"Shaun?" he asked scratching his head. "Who's this?"

"This is Viola. She's my friend." Viola glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

"Er, right." She stammered seemingly taken back by the word 'friend.' "I have your breakfast waiting downstairs. So let's go." She forced Logan to lead the way clucking her tongue at each fumbling step. Shaun allowed her to take control of the situation while she sorted through her thoughts. Logan sat at the bar as Viola happily served him her concoction.

"What is this?" he sneered scrunching his face.

"If you don't drink it I'll shove it down your throat."

"I don't drink anything that I don't know what it is." He snapped returning the glass to the counter.

"Oh really? I guess that's about to change." She snatched the tumbler and headed toward him.

"What are you doing!" he yelled as she grabbed his chin and tilted it back. "This is assault!"

"Shut up!" she replied prying his mouth open. "You want to feel like shit all day? Huh? Shaun left you in my care, and this will bring you right back dear." He struggled in her grip but it was surprisingly strong. In a matter of minutes Logan was coughing and choking with an empty glass beside him. Viola smirked winking at Shaun before adjusting her clothes.

"Thanks Viola." Shaun said patting Logan's back as he finished his coughing fit.

"Anytime. Now if you excuse me." Shaun seated herself next to the boy and waited until he was ready to talk. It didn't take long for him to make commentary on the shady business she had left him in, or the fact she had allowed a scantily clad woman force drinks into him.

"Logan, I trust her. I wouldn't leave you with someone I didn't trust."

"Why did you leave me anywhere period? I was fine at my house!" he yelled swiveling around to face her. "You should have just let me drink myself to death!"

"Why?" Shaun slammed her fist on the bar. "Why?"

"Because there's no reason for me to live! I let my father die! I let my mother leave! I am worthless!"

"Worthless!" Shaun shrieked standing. She felt as she stood in front of him that she was looking at herself. Since Logan had hired her she had felt a need to help him. And now was her chance.

It was one thing she had to do before her entire life changed.

"Logan you are a hardworking boy! A hardworking boy who deserves so much more than to be alone, and drunk on a wooden floor! You don't see it do you? You quit school, you ran a business, you learned a trade! You taught me things no one has ever taught me!" tears flooded his eyes. "You gave me a chance when no one else would! Your father loves you, and the last word he uttered was your name. Don't ever," she shook him for emphasis. "Don't ever say you're worthless. You're amazing Logan. Absolutely amazing. And if I have to find you every day and tell you this I will."

"Shaun," he whispered his head lowered.

"There was someone who made me see myself for who I really was. And while I still want to hate myself I won't. Because I know there are people out there who would hurt if I ever disappeared. And same for you Logan. Your dad may be gone, and your mom, but I'm here. And if anything happened to you I don't know what I'd do."

He held out his arms for her and she pulled him close. Logan sobbed into her shoulder while she rested her chin on his head. "If you ever need anything Logan, Joel and I are here for you." He sniffled as he pulled away.

"Joel?"

"You're the first person I'm going to tell," She took a deep breath, "I'm engaged to Joel Bennett." He stared at her for a few moments before grinning.

"That's great." He wiped tears from his face. "You deserve each other. You're both caring, wonderful people. I know I've been horrible to you Shaun, but," he paused. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here." She smiled before giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Logan I think it's time for you to live." She helped him stand. "I know you're upset about your dad and you have a funeral to plan, but I want you to go back to school, get involved in a university and put that brain of yours to some use."

They held hands while they walked to the store. When they reached Logan's home he stopped.

"I don't think I want to go in." he explained releasing her hand. "I think there's too much in there that needs to stay there." She didn't have to ask what he meant she understood.

"What do you need?"

"Could you get me some clothes?" she nodded and headed towards the door. "Oh and Shaun?" she looked over her shoulder. "The Importance of Being Earnest too?" she smiled. Inside she closed the doors, picked up a few things, and gathered his belongings. Where Logan was going she wasn't entirely sure, but she knew he had a plan.

He was waiting on a bench when she placed a sign saying 'Closing permanently' on the front door and locked it.

"So what next?" she asked when he took the bags.

"I'm going to stay with my Uncle in Albany. It shouldn't take us long to plan the funeral, and then hopefully I'll have my life figured out after that." Shaun rested her hands on his shoulders.

"I know you will." His smile was incredibly warm and she felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. This was the real Logan Whitefield.

"When I come back, I'll find you."

"Should be easy. I'll be living with Joel by then."

"Wish I could be here for the wedding."

"You'll be there in spirit." He hugged her tightly before making his way to Grand Central Station.

* * *

Shaun forced as much enthusiasm as she could muster when she woke. It was the morning of the rally and the Manhattan newsboys were incredibly boisterous. They had abandoned selling and were adamant about keeping the day sacred and fun. She smiled and added a few dollar bills into their collections hat.

"Thanks Shaun!" Snipeshooter exclaimed eagerly counting what he had gathered so far. "We'll for sure have enough for some good food tonight!"

"I know you will." She ruffled his hair before informing the others she was heading to Sarah's.

"See you later!" Racetrack called. She waved before exiting the building.

Sarah beamed when she opened the door and discovered Shaun.

"It's been awhile." Shaun said returning the grin. "How are you?" she lunged forward giving her a large hug.

"Better now that you're back!" Shaun returned the hug holding her tightly.

"Yeah." Sarah was the closest she had to a best friend and was more than grateful she wasn't angry.

"Can you believe it's time for the rally?" Sarah asked changing the mood drastically.

"Not really. But we've been talking about it long enough."

"So true, Jack's at Irving Hall now managing things." Sarah said collecting two glasses.

"Yeah he left early this morning." Shaun commented helping by retrieving the iced tea.

"I know, he takes his responsibilities seriously." They both sat across from each other at her kitchen table.

"So where is everyone?"

"Dad's working, Mom's shopping at the market, Les is out with friends at the park, and David, who knows." They laughed.

"Most likely with Jack." Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Probably, he has a weird obsession with Medda."

"Oh my, I'm excited to meet this woman!" more laughter.

"Yes, she makes an impression. Oh I hope you have fun!" Shaun finished half her glass of iced tea in one gulp. Her stomach flipped at the thought of tonight.

"I'm sure I will." Sarah explained the festivities, how Jack and Spot would come and pick them up later, and how most of the newsboys were on their best behavior.

"I heard you're going to finally tell the story." Sarah studied her over the rim of her glass. Shaun sighed.

"Yes, as much as I'd rather not talk about it. But I guess everyone has a right to know."

"Do you think Racetrack will be alright?" Shaun shrugged.

"He refuses to discuss it." Sarah shook her head before leaning over to take her hand.

"I'm here for you okay?" Shaun wondered if Sarah would be angry when she learned she was marrying Joel. Because she would give anything to have her be her maid of honor at the wedding. Anything to have one person she cared about there for her.

"I know, so!" Shaun stood. "Let's get ready!"

* * *

Spot never smoked. He had kicked the habit long ago, but now, now he was lighting up a cigarette. The Manhattan leader watched him with concern as they waited outside Sarah's apartment building.

"Don't want to talk about anything." Spot stated hoping Jack wouldn't question his sudden urge for tobacco. He raised his eyebrows before smirking.

"I never said we had to talk."

"I know that look." He took a long drag. The truth was Spot was on edge. It wasn't the fact he had to relive the events in the maze, or the upcoming crowds he'd battle to enter Irving hall, it was Shaun. There was something different about her.

She wasn't clinging to him like she had; she wasn't telling him everything like she did. She was incredibly distant and constantly sad. He knew her well enough to know something was bothering her and it killed him not to know what it was. It killed him that he couldn't fix it.

"We'll be late if you don't finish that up." Jack pointed out opening the door. Spot sighed loudly as he dropped the cigarette and stomped on it furiously.

"Can't I have some peace?" he asked brushing past Jack and heading up the steps.

"Sure, but not when we're supposed to be picking up two lovely ladies." Spot rolled his eyes and allowed Jack to pass him. They paused while Jack knocked. Esther, Sarah's mother, answered the door with a grin.

"Oh so good to see you Jack!" she exclaimed nodding to Spot. He managed a smile.

"Thanks Mrs. Jacobs. Is Sarah and Shaun ready?"

"Oh yes! Come in." they entered the small home and waited. "Would either of you like some tea?"

"No thank you." Jack nudged Spot and he mumbled something polite.

"I hope you kids have fun tonight." She said starting conversation as she cleaned the room. Spot fidgeted wondering what was taking them so long. He decided if she didn't come out in two more seconds he'd bum another cigarette.

It was Jack's reaction that made Spot turn towards the back hall. His breath caught in his throat when his gaze caught Shaun's. He had never seen her wear makeup and was surprised at how bright her blue eyes were. Her auburn hair had been brushed and curled and her dress fit perfectly.

It hugged all the right curves and the soft pink color made her skin look creamy and touchable. Jack complimented Sarah before placing his arm around her shoulders and escorting her out. Spot on the other hand fumbled.

"I guess we should go." He muttered closing the door behind them. Shaun nodded holding her skirts up as she moved down the stairs. She had donned a corset for this special occasion and abruptly remembered why she hated them. Jack and Sarah were far ahead of them by the time they stepped onto the sidewalk. Spot seemed awkward and tense when he walked beside her.

"How's everything in Brooklyn?" she asked hoping to ease his anxiety.

"Alright." As she turned to study his face she knew he realized. His head was down, his eyes watching his feet. If it had been a few days ago he'd been holding her hand, looking at her. The wedge she was driving between them was growing and it nearly destroyed her. Shaun had to make him let her go.

"Oh? Good." They said nothing more until they reached Medda's and were greeting others.

"Jeez Shaun!" Racetrack said winking as he saw her. "Spot's lucky to have you as a date." She chuckled and patted his shoulder.

"Thanks Race."

"Will you save me a dance?" she smiled.

"Of course." Spot watched their banter and wondered why he couldn't praise her, why he felt as if he didn't want to speak with her.

"Spot?" he jerked his head upwards. Shaun was staring at him obviously having said something to him.

"What?"

"Are you ready to go in?" he nodded and moved ahead of her to open the door. It was the most he could do. She stepped through into the large auditorium and headed for the stage. There was a line of chairs set up for the few newsboys that would be speaking. "Do you think they're curious about the kidnappings? It's been awhile." Shaun said turning to Spot who was staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah." He answered and she sighed. She had to keep herself from tackling him and begging for forgiveness. It was almost too much to continue the charade.

It took an hour for the rally to begin. Jack opened with a few statements commemorating the strike and thanking everyone for being there. David was second to speak in which he encouraged all newsboys to fight for their rights and remember they could make a difference. As David sat Spot stood and Shaun watched him saunter towards the edge of the stage. The crowd became silent as they waited for the explanation they had been waiting on for months.

"I don't have to remind anyone," Spot began scanning the crowd for the few leaders who had shared his anger. Falcon and Hell Raiser nodded for him to continue. "What it was like those weeks we spent wondering."

Shaun studied the boys watching their eyes lower, watching their jaws tense. She nearly gasped when she caught Daniel Prescott's eye. He smiled warmly. "I can tell you all from personal experience what happened to each and every one that went missing. But I'd rather Shaun," he turned and gestured toward her, "My friend tell you."

There were murmurs when Shaun made her way to Spot's side. She wanted to take his hand wanted to pull him close while she told the enormous audience their story. He didn't wait for her to speak. Turning he left and the air about her chilled. She clenched her fists and raised her chin.

"William Manchester was the name of the kidnapper," murmurs accompanied her statement. "The first time I met him I knew there was something inhuman about him. He was rich, cold, demanding, and when I refused to marry him I found myself in his basement." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

The silence was unnerving. "Racetrack was there," she found the newsboy easily when she looked out. His arms were crossed and his expression was determined to stay and listen. She smiled. "Manchester sent him into the maze. The maze that he sent everyone into. It was behind an iron gate; underneath the city, where he had carved numerous tunnels," she paused. "Underneath everyone in New York William Manchester was slaughtering innocent people."

There were gasps as the newsies and street kids realized there was no hope. Those that hadn't come back like she, Race and Spot, were never coming back. "Manchester hunted us as a sick game. Spot and I met each other there and somehow we survived. We found the exit, saved Racetrack, and killed him."

Her words were jumbled but she was positive everyone had heard. She could hear quiet sniffles and sobs, could see the angry faces. Shaun began to tremble as she stood the bearer of bad news. If she didn't find her way to her seat she would collapse.

She reached for the banister she knew was nearby hoping she'd grasp it in time. It wasn't the cool wood she felt when her fingers wrapped around for support. It was a warm hand and a strong grip. She released a breath when she saw Spot's blue eyes. "I'm sorry I had to tell all of you the truth," she kept her gaze fixed on Spot. "Every night I relive the terrors we all experienced in the maze, I cry for the victims I knew Manchester claimed, and I wish I could have done more to save them."

She gripped Spot's hand and gathered courage to look at the crowd once more. It wasn't hatred that she expected to see, but sympathy and respect. Their acceptance of her speech gave her the ability to finish. "If anyone has any questions feel free to find me."

And with that Spot led her from the stage and behind the velvet curtains. She fell into his arms burying her face into his chest. Shaun needed him. Needed his warmth, his comfort, his love, and soon he would be gone.

"Shaun." He whispered stroking her hair.

"I'm sorry." She replied. His grip tightened and they remained that way until Jack interrupted.

"Music's starting, and people are looking for you both." His gaze switched between them skeptically before disappearing. Shaun pulled away first and smiled at Spot before moving. He followed her closely nodding towards those who greeted him and making limited conversation. Shaun answered various questions regarding the maze and did her best not to cry when Daniel took her hand.

"Thank you, really." He turned toward Spot. "You're lucky you know? To still have the one you love." His smile was genuine but his eyes told an entirely different story. Spot slid his hand into hers as Daniel pulled away. "I hope you both share what Abigail and I would have had."

Shaun leaned against Spot for support. She felt worse than she had ever before standing here pretending. They watched couples and friends take to the dance floor. Swaying to Medda's song and realizing that the horror that had plagued their streets was finally over.

Over for everyone but those who survived it. It would never be over for her, Spot, Daniel, and Racetrack. Never over for those who died because of Manchester's insanity. She sighed and allowed Spot's arms to comfort her.

It was easy to forget everything when he held her. It was easy when he led her to the floor, easy when their feet moved to the rhythm. They fit perfectly like bricks in a building, pages in a book, and lead in a pencil.

"Spot." She said lifting her face to look at him.

"Mm?" her gaze flickered towards the clock and back.

"I have to tell you something." He slowed the dance to tiny steps. No doubt her tone expressed the seriousness of what she was about to say. She hoped she'd be able to pretend as well as she used to. Reaching into her corset she produced a ring and slipped it onto her finger. The diamonds reflected off of the light creating a small rainbow on her hand. There were three set into silver.

"Where did you get that?" he asked clearly shocked. "Is that real?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand." He furrowed his brows.

"I'm engaged. To Joel Bennett." They stopped moving. Spot's hands were still on her waist, his body still close to hers, and she tried to remember exactly how it felt.

"What…" he trailed off his eyes switching from the ring to her face. "You're what?"

"Engaged to be married. I know it's sudden."

"What? It's what?" he jerked away from her and turned running his hand through his hair. "Sudden?" laughter bubbled up his throat and emerged into a hysterical noise. Shaun couldn't find the proper words to describe the sound.

"I saw him not too long ago, and we went on a date, and…"

"You what?" he spun on his heels facing her. "You went on a date? What the hell does that mean?" his voice could be heard over the music and eventually Medda paused.

"We went to his estate in the Hamptons."

"Yeah? What did you do there Shaun?" he closed the gap between them his eyes slits. "Did you get the grand tour? Did you see his bedroom?"

"Spot," she warned stepping back. "It wasn't like that."

"Oh really? You see his estate and then you _suddenly_ become engaged?" he grabbed her forearms. "Did he get you pregnant?"

"Spot stop!" she attempted to free herself from his bruising grip. "That's not what happened! I met him before the maze; I met him before I met you!"

"Oh that makes so much sense!" he pulled her mere inches from his face. "So what have we been this whole time Shaun? What have we've been if you've loved this guy the whole time?" he shook her. "Tell me!" Shaun's head snapped back and forth at the strength he used in shaking her body.

"Spot!" Jack and Kid Blink pushed their way to the small circle that had now formed around the two. Each took an arm and tugged him away from Shaun who stumbled backward. No one caught her when she nearly tripped.

"Spot," she gasped regaining her composure. "I love you, but I realized I love you more like a friend. Joel, he's different."

"Yeah he has money. That's what's different."

"No, Spot, no, I just, there's something about him that I can't explain. That when I'm with him I know he's the only one I truly want to be with. I thought it was you, but I was wrong. People make mistakes." Spot's hands were fists and if it weren't for Jack and Blink Shaun believed he'd have hit her. "You're my best friend, all of you," she caught each Manhattan boys' eye. "Please, come to my wedding?"

"Get the fuck out!" Spot shrieked. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" he wrenched himself from the boys' grip and Shaun turned. She didn't need to be told twice. Spot's screams echoed after her as she pushed through the horde and out the doors.

Joel's carriage was waiting for her.

"Miss," the driver opened the door for her. She situated herself in the dark cab and clasped her skirts to keep from looking back. She wouldn't look back. Instead she leaned over and threw up.

**A/N: Hey guys! I know long time no update! Well my finals are over! I can spend some time on writing for myself and not an evil English professor that hates me, thank god! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I promise I will try my best to get updates out as soon as I can. But I can assure you it won't be as long as this one took! **

**PS. Thank you for all the reviews! I really appreciate it :) **


	23. Blindsided

**A/N: Listen to "Blindsided" by Bon Iver. **

Chapter twenty-one- Blindsided

"Miss?" Shaun jerked to attention wincing at the pinch of a needle. "Miss!"

"I'm fine." She responded situating herself on the pedestal. "Please proceed." Hesitantly the seamstress continued with her work of pinning and measuring. Gritting her teeth Shaun attempted to keep her mind from wandering. This was the third time she had been stabbed for lack of concentration.

Sighing she glanced in the mirror. The woman staring back at her was someone she hated. Every time she rejoined the world of the wealthy she became a monster. If it wasn't for her ultimate goal she would have ripped off the potential wedding dress and ran.

"Do you not like it Miss?" the seamstress inquired as she straightened.

"That's not it Jackie. I just have a lot on my mind." She nodded her understanding and began to put away her things.

"A wedding is quite an ordeal." Her keen eyes studied Shaun for a moment. "Especially if you're expecting." Shaun burst into laughter as she stepped down.

"I'm not pregnant, no matter what rumors you've heard." Jackie blushed profusely.

"Right, Miss." She moved quickly to help her remove the dress. "My apologies."

"Don't apologize; I'm glad if I can clear up any misconceptions."

"I may be bold to say so but it is quite strange you're living with your fiancé." Shaun knew that Joel and she were quite the topic. Their marriage had been announced in the papers a few days ago and it nearly created chaos. The Bennett's had received many visitors, including Lady Meredith, demanding the details.

"Yes it is strange," she allowed Jackie to help her return to her day gown. "But Joel and I have decided it best this way. Besides I'm living at the Hampton estate alone. Joel only visits when he can. Until we're married he will remain at his Manhattan home."

"Of course Miss." Jackie seemed eager to see her leave as she collected Shaun's purse. No doubt to inform all those waiting to hear.

"The dress is beautiful Jackie, thank you." She took her bag, curtsied, and exited the building. Basil, the driver, was waiting as usual, all smiles.

"How was it Miss Kenneth?" he asked opening the door for her.

"As good as a dress fitting can be." He chuckled. "Basil, do you think we could walk?"

"Walk Miss?" Shaun nodded suddenly feeling nauseas. She couldn't stand the carriage since that night.

"Just for a little?" he shifted anxiously.

"I suppose, where to?" She wanted to go to Brooklyn but she knew she wasn't welcome, in fact she most likely wasn't welcome anywhere. Clenching her fist she shrugged.

"Actually, never mind." Extending her hand Basil thankfully took it.

"We could walk in the garden at home Miss." She forced a smile.

"Yes, sounds perfect." And he shut the door.

As the coach rumbled over the cobblestones she closed her eyes. Just for a few minutes she'd pretend Spot was holding her and that they were sitting by the water, while he told her he loved her. Her genuine smile reflected from the glass on the door when she opened her eyes.

She let it falter as she noticed the entrance to the Hampton's. If only day dreams lasted forever she thought as they stopped. Once Basil helped her from the carriage she explained she'd rather rest. He accepted her excuse and waited until her maids greeted her before taking the horses to stable.

"How's the dress coming along?" Winifred, her maid, asked obviously excited.

"Oh wonderful," Shaun faked enthusiasm. "The fabric I chose is honestly perfect and Jackie definitely has an eye for dress making."

"It's only a couple of days away now." Winifred gushed opening the bedroom door for her.

"Yes, could you call for Ms. Vincent when you have time? I'd like to see how preparations are going."

"Of course! But she's your wedding consultant; shouldn't you leave it to her?"

"Winifred, if I could I would." Shaun collapsed onto her chaise. Abruptly fatigue overwhelming her.

"I know Miss; you just want your wedding to be perfect." Winifred sighed loudly. "I can't wait to be married, if only I could afford an extravagant wedding like you." Shaun covered her face with her arm as Winifred continued. She wanted to slap the girl across the face, tear her wedding gown to shreds, and destroy her bedroom, but it wasn't anyone's fault but hers that she was here.

"Winnie," she interrupted sitting up. "What's on my schedule?"

"Oh yes Miss I forgot!" she exclaimed jumping from the seat she had taken. "You have afternoon tea with Mrs. Bennett, and then Master Joel asked us to tell you he has a special evening planned." She winked suggestively as she made her way to her wardrobe.

Shaun groaned inwardly. A meeting between her and Joel's mother was inevitable but she wished it could wait until after they were married. As for Joel's plans, she wished he'd leave her alone. Being with him only submerged her in guilt and nostalgia. "Any particular dress for tea?"

"Whichever you find best Winnie." The young girl gossiped and awed as she helped Shaun dress. By the time they were done Mrs. Bennett had arrived.

"I'll go get her situated." Winifred said as she dashed from the room. Shaun turned to the mirror and prepared herself. Her auburn hair glistened in the day light, her makeup was perfectly done, her skin perfectly pale, perfectly porcelain, her eyes the perfect shade of blue.

It hadn't taken long for the maids to transform her into someone worthy of being the future Mrs. Bennett. She had arrived at the Hampton estate, vomit on her shoes and gown, hair a mess, and tears in her eyes. Thankfully Joel had been on business and was unable to see.

Instead Winifred had nurtured her along with the rest of the staff of women. After a vigorous bath and a fresh pair of clothes she had returned to the Shaun prior to the maze. Hatred, beauty, and depression set in her features. _Enough_ she told herself. _You have a goal, man up and fight for it!_ Pushing a stray strand of hair into place she stood. Gracefully she descended the stairs and glided across the marble floor to the parlor.

"Mrs. Bennett," Shaun began curtsying before closing the door behind her.

"Miss Kenneth," her voice was smooth and controlled as she returned the curtsy. Shaun bit her lip as she finally set eyes on Joel's mother.

She was a beautiful woman, probably the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. She wore her dark hair half up half down and it fell to the middle of her back. Her eyes were a crystal green, half lidded and seductive. She easily could seduce anyone she wanted with her full lips and silky skin.

Mrs. Bennett wasn't the typical thin woman you would find, but rather voluptuous. Her curves however did not detract from her beauty. Shaun was unsure whether to tell the true owner of the home to sit. With an almost undetectable smirk Mrs. Bennett seated herself.

"Should I call for tea?"

"A lady of the house shouldn't ask her guests." She mused.

"Winifred!" Shaun did not hesitate to make arrangements stealing a glance at Mrs. Bennett's amused expression. "To be honest I'm surprised you already consider me the lady of the house." She commented as Winifred left the parlor.

"I've heard about your wonderful traits, one being speaking boldly of your opinions."

"I figure if you're my mother in law to be I should acquaint you now."

"Yes, well, you're marrying my son this will be your home, of course you're the lady of the house." Winifred returned, set down the serving tray, bowed, and abandoned them to tense silence. Shaun reached for the teapot and smiled as she poured her a cup.

"Sugar?"

"Of course, now may I ask why you're marrying my son?" Shaun nearly dropped the utensils.

"Why?"

"Yes, why? I hardly believe it's for love." She passed her the tea. "Thank you."

"I do love your son." Mrs. Bennett studied her over the rim of her cup.

"Really?" she drawled skeptically.

"Yes, he's a wonderful man. He's kind, honest, and everything anyone would ever want."

"Not to mention wealthy."

"If you recall I come from wealth as well." Mrs. Bennett chuckled as she placed the saucer in her lap.

"Oh yes, I recall." Shaun detected the sarcasm. "You're mother is an interesting woman especially, I'm sure she is enthralled that you have aimed, and succeeded to marry so well." Her eyes bore into Shaun's. "Now your family's company will remain and prosper, I mean Joel would never allow his wife's family to live in poverty."

"Mrs. Bennett, I know you've heard rumors about me and I won't deny most of them. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am Shaun Kenneth and I will speak my mind, and Joel loves me for it. Whatever anyone has convinced you it's wrong. I am not marrying your son in order to keep my family from poverty. In fact, I have been away for the past few months, and barely have spoken to my mother. What she feels about my engagement is unbeknownst to me," she took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"And as the lady of the house I will not be insulted in my own home." She wasn't sure if she ruined all chances of Mrs. Bennett's approval but she knew it wouldn't matter. Unfortunately Joel was in love and would marry her no matter the opinions of others.

Mrs. Bennett elegantly retrieved her cup and took a dainty sip of tea.

"Please, call me Ginny," she smiled. "This tea is delicious."

* * *

Shaun stood in the entrance hall wringing her hands. Her white gloves were wrinkled from her anxiety. She felt as if at any moment she would crumple to the floor and become hysteric. It was the first time in her life that she wasn't positive if she could continue the façade.

Joel Bennett's mother had obviously given her blessings before leaving. She had spent most of the afternoon with Shaun expressing her excitement for the wedding. Ginny Bennett's love for her son and joy for the potential future nearly killed future she expected would never come.

Closing her eyes she attempted to keep her mind off of the truth and refocus it on the matter at hand. Shaun Kenneth was getting married, the only wedding she would ever have, and she needed to be the best actress possible.

"Shaun," Joel called smiling when he saw her waiting. "You look beautiful." His eyes twinkled as he planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you." She grinned. "How was your day?" he chuckled entwining her arm with his.

"The same old pretentious games darling, but I looked forward to coming home." He squeezed her hand affectionately.

"Yes, Winnie told me you had a special night planned."

"It came to me while I was visiting this morning. But I won't tell you anything more." She watched as he happily paraded her to the coach and shooed Basil away from helping her up. Joel searched for any reason to hold her hand, caress her cheek, or express his love. Shaun's heart was constricting, each muscle being strained into a taut line. She hadn't lied to Ginny when she said she loved him, she did. Yet her love was one for a friend and less as a husband. "How was my mother?"

"I really like her. She's not anything like I imagined."

"Oh, stuffy old British nobility?" Shaun giggled.

"Right, she's incredibly beautiful by the way." Joel nodded scooting closer to her.

"My father is a lucky man, or so a lot of his colleagues say." He winked as he slipped one of her gloves off. "I'm sure they'll say that about me too." He kissed the back of her hand. Shaun wanted to snatch her hand away but resisted the urge.

"I doubt it. I'm a legendary mischief maker, and you're going to be a legendary crazy man who married a huge mistake." Joel gently traced her veins.

"Don't say that. You're not a mistake, and I'll never regret marrying you," he kissed her again, "Or loving you." Advancing from kissing her hand he landed one on her lips.

"Joel," she gasped shifting uncomfortably. He laughed heartily returning her glove.

"No one can see us."

"Well still!" she complained. He smiled watching as she furiously slid the satin fabric onto her arm.

"You're my fiancé, I can't show affection?" Shaun fiddled with her dress as she regained her composure.

"That's not it."

"Did my mother say something?" the light atmosphere abruptly became heavy as Joel leaned back.

"No not at all I really like your mother. Just ignore me." She took his hand hoping it would be enough. Thankfully he settled to playing with her fingers and telling her about work.

It sounded as if James Kenneth's company was near bankruptcy and Joel obviously had mixed feelings about buying it. Shaun was unable to express her sentiments for Basil had opened the door.

"We're here." He said allowing Joel to step out first. Shaun took his waiting hand and stared at the large building before her. It was the Opera hall. She stared in awe at the columns, the crowd, and decadence.

"Like it?" Joel whispered taking her arm and leading her into the chaos.

"I've always wanted to go to the opera!" she replied her eyes wide with excitement. Joel squeezed her hand.

"I'm glad." It was impossible for Shaun to be melancholy as they ventured toward Joel's personal balcony. She had always loved the arts. Leaning against the railing she rested her chin on top her hands. "Your parents never took you before?" Joel whispered moving closer to her.

"No, they never took me to a lot of places." She sighed. "At least to places I wasn't required to make an appearance." He was quiet as he studied the silhouette of her face. The lights had dimmed and now the stage was alit with fire.

Shaun's eyes glittered and danced in tune with the music. Joel watched mesmerized forgetting the opera entirely. Every gasp, every sigh, and every wrinkle of her face he documented suppressing the urge to touch her. He wanted to form into words how he felt about her, how important she was.

For some reason unbeknownst to him he felt as if Shaun wasn't truly in love with him. He could tell in her touch, through her face how she felt in his world, and about him. Yet if he could somehow make her see how he couldn't live without her, he thought she'd stay.

"Joel?" he jumped. "What's wrong?" the opera was over and the theatre emptying.

"Nothing," he laughed running a shaking hand through his hair. "Just day dreaming." Shaun raised her eyebrows as he stood. Smiling he extended a hand to help her up. Taking it she paused in front of him her gaze bearing into his. His breath hitched in his throat as she moved her hands upwards to the side of his face. Smirking at his blush she smoothed his hair back to its polished style.

"We must keep up appearances." She whispered pulling back. Adjusting her clothes she nodded to the staff as she made her way to the stairs. Joel regained his composure and swiftly made his way after her.

"And leaving me behind doesn't give off a good image." He hissed slipping her arm underneath his. Shaun's laughter brought curious glances to their direction.

"Sorry dear, but you were taking too long picking your jaw off the floor." Joel snorted realizing she must have noticed his flustered demeanor. "Do I affect you that much?" her tone was no longer playful but quiet and pained.

"Mr. Bennett!" out of the crowd emerged a rather portly man. He shook Joel's free hand vigorously seeming to make every effort to avoid Shaun. "How are you sir?"

"Rather good Mr. Hammerfield, and yourself?" he patted his stomach.

"Excellent, about to get supper with my wife, you remember her right?" he turned behind him, "Olivia!" he called scanning the horde of opera goers. "Olivia!"

"Here, darling." A petite woman with a stern face appeared by his side. "Ah! Mr. Bennett." She curtsied.

"Mrs. Hammerfield," Joel took her hand for a quick shake. "I would like you both to meet my fiancé, Miss Shaun Kenneth." His hands gently settled on the small of her back pushing her forward. Donning a smile and cheery disposition Shaun curtsied to them both.

"How do you do Mr. and Mrs. Hammerfield, fine Opera don't you agree?" She reached for Joel's arm once more leaning into him.

"Oh yes." Mrs. Hammerfield responded her eyes nearly slits. "I wasn't aware you knew anything of the arts Miss Kenneth."

"Most people know little about me, but you'd be surprised I'm quite the connoisseur. In fact why not join me for tea sometime next week? Perhaps we could discuss a few composers?" Her face fell dramatically at the invitation. She turned her beady eyes to her husband who had broken into a sweat. "Can you not make it?" she pressed her expression innocent.

"Well, I, of course," Mrs. Hammerfield stammered.

"I'm sorry dear but you'll be quite busy don't you think?" Joel intervened.

"I suppose you're right. Please forgive me."

"Well Mr. Hammerfield," Joel nodded curtly, "If you'll excuse us."

"Er, sir!" Joel ignored him as he led Shaun away from the theatre and toward their coach.

"What's wrong?" she asked noticing how swift his steps were.

"I can't stand those people." He muttered saving Basil the trouble of opening the door for her. Once she was situated inside he wasted no time climbing in beside her. "How can you smile? How can you curtsy to them?" Shaun's gaze softened and she reached for his hand. Slowly she laid it in her lap and traced designs on his palm.

"Practice." She stated catching his gaze. "Lots of practice." Capturing her hand in his grip he tugged her forward. It took moments for him to grasp her chin, moments for him to close his eyes, moments for his lips to be inches from hers, and moments for her to shove him back. "Joel!" she snapped. His eyes shot open in surprise.

"What?" her hand was on her chest the other covering her face. "What is it?" he reached for her. Holding up her hand he stopped.

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I just, can't kiss you, yet." She looked up her eyes watering. Joel bit the inside of his cheek desperately wanting to hold her.

"Why?"

"Just, give me time, okay?" he barely understood, no, he didn't understand her hesitation. But he let it go and forced a comforting smile.

"Of course," he watched the tension leave her, "but can I at least hold you?" to that she nodded and he pulled her to his chest. Shaun closed her eyes and pretended it was Spot.

**A/N: Thank you so much for continuing to read. I'm trying my best to update! Please be patient! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **


	24. Safe and Sound

**A/n: I am obsessed with the song "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift. I wrote this entire chapter to it. So it is my song suggestion. I'm glad the hunger games came out or else I would never have found it. **

Chapter twenty-two- Safe and Sound

Shaun stood in front of the floor length mirror breathing heavily. She felt as if she was standing at the edge of a cliff and this time she could not step back. No, this time Shaun was about to jump. Clasping her hands together to keep from wrinkling her wedding gown she assessed her appearance.

The woman staring back at her looked like a terrified angel preparing for death. Auburn hair was twisted into an elegant design with diamonds sprinkling the style like snow. Blue eyes were encased in subtle eye liner, porcelain cheeks with a splash of rosy blush, and full red lips painted. As for the dress it was a sight to behold. Every dream any bride had dreamt, every thread as if an imagined thought woven together.

The satin fabric was the truest of whites; her bodice hugging each significant curve with diamonds tracing buttons down the middle to the princess cut seams. From the top of the sweetheart neckline lace lined her collar bone down her arms in intricate patterns. At last the skirts billowed out in the perfect folds creating a trail behind her. _God help me_ she said to herself as she fought back tears. A soft knock at the door pulled her from the dismay she felt.

"Come in!" she called quickly masking her emotions. She turned to face the individual who had entered the room and gasped. "Sarah?" the timid girl smiled stepping past the threshold revealing Shaun's maid who scurried in.

"Miss, I tried to keep her from coming in!"

"It's fine." Shaun responded fighting tears. "This is my maid of honor." Their gazes locked and she knew Sarah understood everything she was unable to say.

"Oh, I'm so sorry ma'am." Sarah shook her head. "You better get dressed then!" the maid exclaimed exiting the room in a bustle of skirts.

"Why?" Shaun asked reaching to grasp the first stable thing she could find. Suddenly she felt as if she would faint if she stood any longer.

"I shouldn't be here." Sarah smirked, "I know I shouldn't be here." Sighing she unpinned her hat. "But I couldn't let you get married alone." She shuffled in her apron pocket until she produced a small wrapped box. "It's the best I could do." Shaun stumbled forward grabbing the package and wrapping her arms about her friend.

"Thank you Sarah." She whispered. Gently she pushed her back.

"You'll ruin your make up." Sarah whispered. Shaun laughed as she smoothed the wrinkles in her dress. The maid swung open the door and hurried in with an army of helpers.

"We only have a few minutes to get you ready!" she huffed hanging the gown across a chair. Sarah turned to Shaun surprised as they began to help her undress.

"I hoped," Shaun explained, "That you would come, so I made sure I picked a dress for you." Sarah chuckled in an attempt to hide her tears.

"Don't make me more emotional than I already am!" she exclaimed cringing as they fitted her corset.

"I'm getting married; I think this is supposed to be an emotional day." Sarah was silent for a few moments allowing them to slide on the French garment. Its lilac color fit her tanned skin and brown eyes perfectly and she looked like an entirely different person as they buttoned the back.

"Why are you marrying him, Shaun?" she inquired staring at her intently as the maids fixed her hair.

"Sarah," she sighed turning to allow a helper situate her veil. "It's too much to explain."

"I don't think it is." She said closing her eyes as they finished her makeup. "Tell me."

"It's time!" the head maid cried pulling the veil over Shaun's face, shoving a bouquet into Sarah's hands, and leading them both out. Sarah reluctantly fell into line with the other generic bridesmaids. Thankful for the interruption Shaun found her place beside Joel's father. He had agreed to give her away and he smiled warmly as she slipped her arm into his. The music started and Shaun took her steps off the cliff.

* * *

He could barely register the sound of voices. He knew someone was speaking to him but he couldn't hear it. In fact the only thing he could hear was Shaun's voice. Her voice telling him she was engaged, her voice telling him goodbye. Ignoring the touch of Patriot's hands he stood gripping his whiskey tighter.

"Spot!"

"Leave me alone." He slurred stumbling as he moved forward. He was surprised his feet were able to move him over the cobblestone. He was even more surprised to find himself at the Brooklyn Bridge. Standing at the entrance he glared at Manhattan. He could see her. See her auburn hair, and her blue eyes; her smile that was only for him and feel her kiss on his lips.

Taking another swig he hoped the alcohol would douse the memories like his senses. Spot didn't want to feel her when she was gone. How could he get rid of her presence? She was everywhere he went. Even as he crossed the bridge he could sense her. "Shaun." He groaned collapsing against the railing.

_Don't cry_ he told himself as he raised the whiskey to his lips. _Aren't you a man?_ He taunted as the liquid numbed his body. _Am I? _He thought straightening and continuing. Would a man fall apart when a woman left him? Would a man feel such a hole in his chest? Is this what life would be like without her? "Shaun." He repeated stepping onto Manhattan territory.

His feet were carrying him subconsciously to the last place he wanted to be, but it was the only place where she was. Despite her betrayal, despite his intoxication, despite his self warning, he had to see her. Finally his body stopped and he slid to the ground. At his back were the church doors. He listened to the organ as it played the Bride's march. Closing his eyes he pretended that he was inside. The tears he hated slipped down his cheeks as he finished the whiskey.

"Dammit Shaun." He sobbed resting his forehead on his knees. "Why!" he screeched. "Why!" He wasn't just asking her but asking himself. Why did he let himself fall in love? Why did he let himself care about someone as much as he cared about himself?

He was the King of Brooklyn, the leader of his newsboys. They should be number one; his leadership should be top priority. Yet here he sat, broken, drunk, and alone while the one woman he loved was getting married. If only he could take it all back, if only he had let her die in the maze. If only he could forget.

"Fuck you Shaun Kenneth!" he screamed until he could taste iron in his mouth. With all his might he threw the empty bottle at the door. "Look what you did!"

"Spot, Spot!" he felt arms wrap around his chest. "Enough!"

"Look at what you did to me!"

"Spot! Please!"

"Shaun!" he crumpled into his restrainer. "Shaun." He whimpered.

"Let's go back now, huh?" Patriot soothed.

"Where? Brooklyn?"

"Where else?"

"I can't go back there." He pushed him away and began walking. "You're in charge Patriot."

"Spot?"

"I need to get out of here."

"Spot!" he forced himself to run, run until he couldn't breathe anymore.

* * *

"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Joel Bennett!" the preacher announced holding their hands together. The audience cheered for the newlyweds. Shaun was surprised to see the upper crust was on their best behavior. She went through the motions as Joel led her down the aisle to the front. The doors swung open revealing the new power couple of New York City.

"Be careful of the glass." Joel whispered leading her around the shards. She glanced at the discolored remnants in confusion. _Glass?_ She thought as Joel tugged her along. Quickly she shook her head hoping to rid herself of the uneasy feeling. He helped her into the carriage and sighed loudly once the door was closed.

"Are you okay?" Shaun asked watching as he took a few deep breaths. Smiling he shifted beside her.

"I've been waiting all day to be alone with you." She laughed praying her tension went unnoticed. "We're finally married." He leaned in close. "And you know what that means right?"

"I have an idea."

"Enlighten me." He breathed.

"Joel…" she moved away.

"Shaun, what's wrong?" She lowered her gaze.

"This whole day has been so overwhelming, and we have the reception in a few minutes, I just feel really tired." It took too much out of him to accept her excuse, but he allowed it.

"Alright." He returned to his seat across from her. "At least dance with me at our reception." He tried a teasing tone but failed. Shaun noted the frustration and her heart clenched. Reaching for his hands she grasped them tightly.

"Why would I not dance with you?" she asked. "It's our wedding!" he smiled for her. "Joel, I love you."

"I love you too." She moved next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I love you too Shaun, but I don't understand your hesitation." He traced designs on her palm.

"It's hard to explain."

"I'm your husband, I want to know."

"You're too observant." She teased entwining their hands together.

"You're hard not to watch, I'm always watching you."

"There's a lot I need to tell you," Shaun paused for composure, "But I'm not ready yet. Just…trust me, okay?" She couldn't believe she was asking someone she was lying to, to believe her. Shaun was the last person Joel should love, Joel should touch, and Joel should watch.

"Of course, if you'll trust me." She laughed.

"You're the most honest person I know." _Besides Spot_ she thought and regretting it immediately.

"So you'll trust me?"

"With my life."

"Then kiss me."

"Joel," she groaned pulling away from him.

"You said you'll trust me, then trust me when I say it'll be okay!" he exclaimed reaching for her shoulders.

"You said you'd trust me!" she responded grasping his hands which now held onto her.

"Please Shaun, it's our wedding day, please!" his voice was filled with such yearning, such honesty that it crushed her defense. She forced herself to obey.

"Okay." She breathed. Joel smiled brushing a few strands from her face. His hands were cool as he caressed her face, and his fingers trembled when they brushed her lips. Shaun could feel the passion and love he had for her, but when his lips touched hers she felt nothing.

There was no overwhelming burst of love, no sparks that nearly jolted her from reality. Nothing compared to the way Spot made her feel. The tears fell onto his hands that held her cheeks. He didn't stop, instead he continued and as he grew passionate Shaun grew lifeless.

There was no ounce of fight in her, but this had been her choice. She was giving herself to someone else, and no matter her true purpose, she was betraying Spot, betraying herself. This feeling, this pain, was worse than death.

* * *

If it wasn't for Sarah Shaun knew she would have lost it half way through the reception. Her maid of honor was playing her role perfectly. Despite her lack of manors, or experience, she held herself well in the world of the wealthy. They had created a back story for her before Shaun was ushered toward her table.

Sarah Jacobs was of old money, a southern belle who had met Shaun in Europe while studying, and was only in New York for the wedding and would return to South Carolina. Under the circumstances Shaun could tell Sarah was having fun. Smiling at her friend she attempted to eat the expensive supper in front of her.

Sarah was currently dancing with a well off lawyer, and Joel had dispersed with a few clients. This would be Shaun's life from now on; one good friend and a husband who was always on business. Sighing she excused herself and swept towards the windows.

They had rented the ballroom in The Ansonia which had an amazing view of the city. Shaun leaned against the gold railing and stared at the gas lamps below. Before she could drift into thought she gasped. Turning she weaved through the crowd and exited the room. Dashing down the stairs it took her moments to reach the lobby.

"Leave them alone!" she cried throwing herself onto the police. They were attempting to kick out three familiar newsies.

"Mrs. Bennett!" the police exclaimed releasing them and stepping back. "This is for everyone's protection." The chief tried to explain. Shaun raised her hand.

"Your services are not needed, these are my _special guests_." She emphasized the last two words narrowing her eyes.

"But Mrs. Bennett,"

"Please be excused." She demanded crossing her arms. "If you refuse I'm sure my husband would like to know how my guests have been treated by New York's so called, _finest_." Without another word the chief hustled his officers from the building.

"Racetrack!" Shaun moved to hug him but was stopped. Race's hands were placed firmly before him, and his expression dark. Slowly she allowed her arms to fall to her side.

"We're not here for your party, _Mrs. Bennett_." Race snapped.

"I see." Was all she could manage to say.

"Shaun," she turned to Jack. "Your actions aren't exactly approved of." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I know Sarah's here; she may be your only friend, for now." Shaun lowered her gaze suddenly unable to look at them.

"Your decision doesn't just affect one person, it affects all of us!" Race yelled. "Look at you! Already abusing your power! I thought you were better than that Shaun! I thought you were on the same page! I knew you had a past, but you were in that maze with me, you fought for your life, you risked everything for me, for Spot, what the hell? What the hell are you doing?" People began glancing at the group of dirty street kids, and the sparkling bride, the new wife of the youngest, successful, business man of New York.

"Race,"

"Don't say my name." he spat, "Just, don't say anything."

"Jack," she tried but he shook his head.

"Tell Sarah to come home." Jack took Racetrack's arm and led him out leaving the last newsboy.

"So I take it you have nothing nice to say either?"

"Did you expect congratulations?" Patriot asked.

"Not exactly."

"I don't care what Manhattan feels, I don't care what you feel, I only care about Brooklyn." He reached into his pocket. "And Brooklyn isn't coming back."

"What do you mean?" Shaun's heart began to pound. "Spot?"

"Spot isn't okay, I'm not gonna lie. He's drunk, angry, and I have no fuckin' clue what he's gonna do. All I do know is he's gone. Ran away. And you know why? Because of you, because of your lies, because you picked money over love. What the hell are you doing Shaun? I thought better of you, but I guess every Richie is the same huh? Greedy lying bitches."

"Patriot,"

"You're not welcome in Brooklyn, and by the sound of it you're not welcome in Manhattan either. At least not the newsie world. So don't expect anything other than a fuck you from now on okay?" he chucked a metal object at her and left.

Shaun clenched the object as she turned away from the empty space. She had lost everything. Inside the ballroom the party still raged on, the music still played, people still talked, and Sarah still laughed. While Shaun collapsed in one of the coat closets and cried. If she stayed there long enough would everyone forget about her? Opening her hand she stared at the silver key. Wrapped around it was a single piece of paper. Slowly she unraveled it and scanned the writing.

_Viola has the box this key goes to._

She stuffed it into her corset and hung the key around her neck. She stood, wiped her eyes, and exited the closet. Joel was standing by their table scanning the crowd. Forcing a smile she hurried toward him.

"How was business?" she asking slipping her hand into his. He jerked around.

"Shaun!" his delighted smile faltered. "You're crying." She shook her head.

"I'm just happy. Everything turned out so great." He grinned.

"I'm glad; I wanted you to love it."

"It was amazing Joel, thank you." She kissed his cheek. "I love you." He leaned into her gripping her hand tighter.

"I love you, oh so much."

It was only a few more hours before they wrapped up the reception, and Shaun and Joel rode together to the summer home in the Hamptons.

"And why are we going here tonight?" Shaun inquired watching as a few red rays splashed upon the choppy water.

"Our New York estate isn't quite ready for us yet."

"I thought we were living with your parents?" she turned to him. He smiled taking her hands.

"Surprise!"

"What?"

"I bought us a home of our own! It's in Upper Manhattan near my parents, but far enough away."

"You what?"

"Shaun, I want to spend my life with you, not with you and my parents. Plus we'd never get to be alone." He winked at her suggestively.

"Wait, but, how could you afford our own home?" he laughed heartily pulling her to his chest.

"I'm not known as the youngest, most successful, businessman for no reason! I actually have money Shaun."

"I know that, but your father," he cut her off.

"I'm married now, and my father bequeathed me his business as my wedding present, I'm now the president." Shaun swallowed hard as she processed the information. She had thought her plan would take much longer to move along, but with Joel already the president…her thoughts trailed off. "Aren't you happy?"

"Of course! I'm just surprised, it happened so fast. I mean our own estate?"

"I know you'll have a lot more things to take care of, but I'll be with you." She tried to hide her abrupt uneasiness as he held her. "It's not going to be like what you think. I know you have this misconceived notions I'll be husband that's never at home, but I don't intend to do that. I married you because I can't live without you Shaun, so I won't make a life where you're not in it." She was emotionally overwhelmed and released the sobs she had been holding back all day. "Shaun!"

"Just hold me." She gasped. "Just hold me."

* * *

The days had gone by in a blur. Shaun barely had any time to feel as she managed her estate. Joel was thankfully called on business quite often, and left her with much needed time to herself. Every night he returned she complained of fatigue and after some argument he left her alone. Sighing she closed her agenda and turned to her maid Ursula.

"Is that all?" she inquired setting her pen down.

"Yes ma'am."

"Ursula," she asked standing, "Could you please cancel my appointments for the rest of the day?"

"But ma'am!" Shaun shook her head as she exited the parlor.

"I could care less of what anyone will think of me. The only person I'm concerned about is Joel, and he's out of town."

"Ma'am, Mrs. Bennett wished to visit this afternoon, how can I tell her no?"

"Believe me, Ginny will understand. We think quite highly of each other." She pinned her hat on top her curls and smiled as she pulled on gloves. "I'll see you for supper Ursula, Joel should be returning this evening. Do tell the chef to make his favorite?"

"Of course ma'am, but,"

"Good day." She closed the door and hurried down the steps. As she strolled the busy streets of Manhattan she took note of the greetings and nods she received. Everyone who was anyone knew who she was. Any set of auburn curls, flash of blue eyes, was regarded with high respect in case it might be her.

It was odd to see the same people who had been thoroughly disgusted by her were now enthralled by her presence. Smirking she ignored any invites to shopping or tea and continued on her business. Today was the day she would discover what Spot's key opened. It had been two weeks since her wedding, two weeks since Sarah spoke to her, two weeks since she had seen the newsboys who had become her family, and two weeks since she had been out on her own.

As she traveled past the familiar scenery toward her destination she thought back to the days with Spot. The days she smiled, the days they laughed, and the days their love became more than just a spoken word. Would he ever forgive her? Even if he knew the truth, at the end of this, would he understand?

* * *

It seemed dangerous to be so close to the newsboys. It'd be hell to pay if she was found. Quickly she slipped into the bar ducking from Al's line of sight. Shaun thought it'd be more difficult to reach Viola's room, but she was relieved she had gone unnoticed.

"Viola!" she called loudly hoping that she wasn't entertaining clients. As she swung open the door she found an empty room. Sighing Shaun closed the entrance and flopped onto Viola's bed. The perfume and smoke was almost overwhelming, but the scent of tobacco calmed her. It reminded her of her life with the newsies. Slowly she drifted off into a soothing sleep.

"Well if it isn't Mrs. Bennett." Shaun jerked awake to a set of arched eyebrows.

"Viola."

"The one and only." the Russian girl began to undress, lighting a cigarette as she did so. "So what can I do for ya?"

"I'm sure you've heard."

"That all the newsboys hate you? Of course." She smirked. "They like to act tough but end up being softies."

"And do you? Hate me?" Viola chuckled setting her cigarette in her ash tray.

"I don't get involved in group efforts."

"Viola, I'm serious."

"Shaun, I don't agree with what you did. But I don't know you; I don't know your reasons. What do you expect me say? You fucked up. I won't lie, but you didn't hurt my feelings." She leaned back in her vanity chair propping her bare legs on the table in front of her. "As a friend of Spot I wish you would have at least been honest. I can see the way you look at him, there's no way you really love this Richie." She took a long drag as she studied Shaun.

"You're probably the only one who can see right through me." Shaun stood. "I think my husband suspects something, but he won't admit it." She tinkered with the few items Viola had about her room.

"You really broke Spot's heart." Shaun smiled as she picked up a wooden doll.

"Have you seen him?"

"No, Spot's been missing since you've been married. No one knows if he's still in New York." She replaced to doll to the shelf and turned toward her.

"Is he okay?"

"Shaun, of course he's not okay." Viola doused her cigarette and swept to the shelf Shaun was in front of. "Spot's like my matryoshka doll." She picked up the round wooden figurine. "He has layers Shaun, he comes apart. No one has seen him fall apart as much as he has since you." She pulled a small baby from the last doll. "What do you expect? Spot Conlon has finally fallen in love, and he feels just like this." She raised the tiny toy. "Small, and broken." Shaun wiped her eyes and looked away.

"I don't want to talk about it Viola. I came here for something." Shaun reached into her corset and produced the note before showing her the key. "Do you know about this?" Viola laughed as she crumpled the paper.

"Yeah, Spot left that with me awhile ago. He said it was for safekeeping. Like a prostitute's room is just as safe." She rummaged in a few suitcases and trunks before emerging with a wooden box. It was intricately designed with gold casing about the corners. Shaun sat on her bed accepting the box delicately.

"It's beautiful." She whispered.

"Spot's not here to tell you about it." Viola seated herself beside her. "Ya know, we had a history." Shaun's eyes snapped to hers. She laughed. "We weren't in love; we just used each other to keep warm at night. Not that I have a problem with that, but it was always different with Spot. Almost like we found someone who understood us."

Shaun's eyes watered as she listened. Viola was lonely, and prior to her, so had been Spot. The realization was another bag of bricks added to the weight she carried. How Spot must feel at this moment. "He told me secrets, and so did I. We were friends Shaun."

"I see." She replied her response almost inaudible.

"That box is all Spot has of his previous life. And inside is the only thing he felt was worth keeping. It's precious to him." Shaun took a deep breath as she pushed the key into the lock. Even after the click she found it hard to open the lid. Carefully she lifted it and peered inside. Secured in velvet folds was a round gold locket. Placed in the middle was a diamond the sparkled underneath Viola's dim lights.

Her lips parted as she lifted the necklace from its resting place. Gently she opened the ornament to revel a picture of a small boy and a young woman. "It was his mothers." Shaun's response were sobs as she clenched the jewelry in her fist. "He told me he was going to sell it so he could afford a wedding ring." Viola lit another cigarette. The smoke curled toward the ceiling masking the lights. "Spot was going to sell the one thing most precious to him for you."

"Viola," she gasped.

"Think about what you're doing Shaun," her firm fingers grasped her chin lifting her watery gaze to hers. "I hope you know what you're doing." She wrenched her face from her grip and stood. Shaun clasped the key and locket about her neck and hurried from the room.

* * *

Shaun added the finishing touches to the dining room and stood back to admire her work. Tonight was the annual dinner party Joel's father used to hold for his business partners, and now it was Joel's party. She had consulted with Ginny as to what should be served and preparations to be made earlier that week, and was hoping she had succeeded. Gliding from the room she checked each room making sure not one item was out of place. The servants were in position waiting for their guests. Sighing with uneasy satisfaction she took her own spot beside the front door.

"You look stunning." She glanced at the grand staircase to find her husband leaning against the rails. "Absolutely ravishing." He mused stepping into the entrance hall and moving in her direction. As usual he was sleek and proper, put together like a perfect gentleman. Shaun eyed the black box in his hand. "And for my spectacular wife I have a gift." He whispered in her ear as he opened the top. Shaun feigned joy as she stared at the glittering amethysts. He enthusiastically removed it from the package and wrapped the bracelet about her wrist. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" she kissed his cheek. "Really." His eyes scanned her white satin gown, the tight bodice, and how her auburn curls fell about her shoulders. Without warning he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Shaun lifted her hands and began frantically attempting to get away. She shoved him back and moved away. "Joel!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it!" he whined like a scolded school boy. "Why can I never show you any affection?" it was the harshest tone she had ever heard escape his lips.

"Joel," she began shakily gaining her self-control. "I'm sorry I was just surprised, and anyway you'll ruin my makeup!" he narrowed his eyes.

"When have you ever cared about that?" she chuckled nervously.

"Kidding." She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms seductively about his neck. "Forgive me?" she pouted playfully before standing on her tip toes to kiss him gently. Joel sighed and smiled allowing the tension to melt away.

"Always." Shaun allowed him to kiss her before tugging away. Before they could say more to each other the doorbell rang. "And the show goes on." Joel teased fixing his appearance before answering. It was almost time for supper before the last guests arrived. The guests Shaun had been waiting for all evening.

"Mother! Father!" Shaun proclaimed loudly. Lunging forward she snatched her mother's hands and kissed her cheek. "So good to see you both." Beth watched her daughter eyes widened in surprise barely returning her greeting.

"And you as well Shaun." James replied forcing a smile. "How has married life been?"

"Wonderful, honestly," Shaun found Joel's arm and entwined hers with his. Joel excused himself and moved to her side. "Joel is the best husband." She winked at him and he laughed.

"Ah, Mr. Kenneth, so nice to see you." He shook his hand and nodded toward her mother. "I'm so sorry neither of you could make it to our wedding, or the reception."

"Oh right, well,"

"I know even after the five invitations I sent!" Shaun interrupted watching her mother squirm. The attention of the guests was focused entirely on their conversation. With a few failed greetings, improper responses, and the confirmation of invitations ignored her parents social standing would slowly falter.

"Yes, we happened to be out of town." Beth answered grabbing James hand firmly. "Now, if,"

"Really? I'm sorry but I heard recently that the company has run into a few financial issues, I'm glad to hear this isn't so since you can afford a vacation." Both blushed at the accusation and Shaun cheered inside.

"Er, yes, of course that's just a rumor." James covered shifting nervously.

"Well Joel and I must get the party started, you know duties of host and hostess and all, but I hope to catch up later!" Shaun kissed her mother once more and smiled at her father before pulling Joel away. He said nothing as they moved to the head of the table. Joel introduced the matters of the party, honored his parents, discussed business, made a few jokes, and wished everyone a happy dining experience.

"Shaun," he whispered scooting his chair closer to her as they sat. The servants placed the first course on everyone's plate and Shaun was happy for the distraction.

"Yes?"

"What the hell was that earlier?" she spooned a mouthful of lobster bisque into her mouth as she contemplated an answer.

"Can we discuss it later?" she inquired hoping he'd drop it. Frustrated he agreed and began conversing with his father. The night passed rather quickly and Shaun played her part well. Her parents were beginning to be shunned from exchange and her mother seemed almost emotionally drained. For once Shaun held all the cards and it excited her. As much as she wanted to play with James and Beth for years she knew she couldn't. Her plan had to move as swiftly as possible.

"Wonderful job Shaun!" Ginny exclaimed taking her daughter in law's hand. "The supper, the décor, everything is perfect!" Shaun grinned squeezing her hand in thanks.

"I was a little nervous, but I'm glad you approved."

"Oh it's not just me," she gestured toward her husband who was smiling in their direction. "I think your father in law is tickled to death with you."

"I'm sure he had his doubts considering all the rumors." Shaun suggested waving for the server.

"I won't deny that, but rumors are rumors. You do a skillful job at proving them wrong. Unfortunately your ability to start them far outweighs the prior." Shaun offered her a glass of champagne.

"I wouldn't do anything that would hurt your family." It was a lie, but Shaun felt the need to reassure Ginny. She liked her mother in law, and if her life had taken a different path her statement wouldn't have been a lie.

"We know dear," Ginny patted her arm. "Have a good night." She winked before leaving her alone. Shaun and Joel wished all their guests a good night before ordering the servants to clean up.

"So, what happened tonight?" Joel demanded following Shaun up the steps.

"Are you angry at me?"

"I wouldn't say angry, but I love your honesty Shaun. And for the first time I saw you act…fake." Without hesitation he followed her into her bedroom.

"Joel there's so much to tell you, but I'm not ready yet."

"Stop saying that!" he grabbed her shoulders. Again for the first time she saw him crack. "Tell me! Just tell me what's going on!" tears filled his eyes. "I see it Shaun, I feel it, you're not in love with me, you're lying," he sobbed. "And I don't want to hear you say it, I've tried to play your game but I can't. I just can't. Because my feelings aren't a lie, but I can't stand here and watch you be and act like someone you're not."

"Joel," she pleaded. "Please, just give me a few more days, and I'll tell you everything. I promise." He pulled away from her and wiped his face. The silence filled the room. He loosened his tie and slipped off his jacket.

"Your father's business is bankrupt. He has no choice but to sell or lose everything." His voice was devoid of emotion. "I've offered to buy it and make him a partner, give him an out."

"No." he turned.

"What?"

"No don't. I don't want my father to have an out. Don't buy his company for him; don't give him special treatment Joel. Destroy it, destroy him, and get your profit." He stared at her in disbelief as she moved toward her vanity. "There's a lot you don't know Joel, and I _will_ tell you, but I want you to destroy him." In the mirror she could see his reflection, the confusion plastered on his face.

"Shaun, it'll be all over the papers. They'll be humiliated."

"Yes, I know. That's what I want Joel." She looked at him with the most earnest expression she could muster. "Please do this for me. When I tell you, you'll understand." They stared at each other for a few moments before he broke away.

Pausing in the threshold he said, "I'd do anything for you Shaun." And exited.

**A/N: So three months later...haha. I'm sorry, but how many times can I apologize for that? Anyways I'm trying my best to update so eventually. I appreciate you all sticking with this! Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I apologize for any mistakes I edited kinda fast. And as always I love the reviews! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! **


	25. Nicest Thing

**A/n: Song suggestion: Nicest Thing by Kate Nash, then after the second paragraph line, Lies by Trifonic, listen to the lyrics of Lies, it's so perfect! **

Chapter twenty-three – Nicest Thing

Patriot wandered into the one part of Harlem he tried to avoid. Hell Raiser's fraction. Harlem's leader made no effort to hide his dislike for Spot Conlon and his newsboys, only squelching any feelings during the kidnappings in an attempt to work together. Hell Raiser's boys shared in their leader's hatred and Patriot could feel it as he stepped past the boundary line and into their territory.

They were gathered in groups about the abandoned yard. At one time a successful textile factory had stood there, but after a raging fire and multiple deaths, the owner had to shut down. Now the gutted building served as shelter for the Harlem newsboys who held more terrain than their small borough. It was rumored Harlem did more than sell newspapers to receive their sinister reputation but there had never been any proof.

Now as Patriot moved cautiously through their home he saw enough validation. There were spun out junkies at every corner shooting opiates and drinking liquor, prostitutes hung drunkenly on newsies and leered at him as he passed. A few boys stuck crumpled bills into their pockets as they sold the drugs, and snickered at Patriot's horrified expression. As he neared their building he covered his nose as he passed a pile of decomposing bodies.

"Patriot," Hell Raiser called blocking his path at the entrance and leaned against the door jamb. "How can I help you?" his smug smile told Patriot he knew exactly what he was there for.

"I received a tip that I might find my leader here." Raiser laughed heartily.

"Conlon? Here?" he gestured at his domain. "I doubt it."

"I know you've made it obvious in the past how you feel about him, and I have no clue why you'd help him now, but I know he's here."

"You just said yourself you have no idea why I'd help, and frankly neither do I. Now go home before you can't walk." He turned to leave but Patriot snatched his arm. Fear surged through his veins as he registered what he had done.

"I guess you've picked life as a cripple."

"Please," Patriot begged. "Let me take him home." Hell Raiser leaned close.

"_Why_?" he sneered. "So that rich whore can torment him?"

"She's not a whore." He chuckled.

"I know what they think; those well off girls, that they can use us and leave us. That we're nothing to them. I know it, I've been through it." Suddenly Patriot understood. Hell Raiser related to Spot.

"Spot needs to come home."

"Conlon doesn't need to do anything."

"Hell Raiser," a slurred voice echoed from behind them. "Let 'em through." The Harlem leader stared him down before ripping his arm from Patriot's grip.

"Your choice." He snapped brushing past Spot who stumbled laughing into the wall. Patriot moved forward reaching for the whiskey bottle in his hand.

"Nuh uh, you ain't taking this!" he tried to dodge him but failed sprawling on the floor and dousing himself in alcohol. "Look what you made me do!" Patriot was surprised he could form sentences. Silently he lifted his leader from the ground kicking the bottle away. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you home." Abruptly his demeanor changed and the drunkard was fighting. His limbs were flailing; a fist formed and punches surprisingly landed. Patriot released him as he gripped his eye.

"I'm not going home!" Spot screeched. "I can't go back! There isn't a home for me!"

"Spot you're a leader, people rely on you!" Patriot yelled back realizing his eye was swollen. "Brooklyn is in disarray!"

"I'm in disarray! I've spent my life taking care of people, and I put myself in someone else's hands, once, and now look!" he scrambled to get away from Patriot who was starting to advance. "She left me, she lied to me! She lied, she lied, she lied." Spot's tears mixed in with his sweat but his momentum slowed. "Hell Raiser, another bottle!"

"No!" Patriot searched frantically until he found the whiskey bottle he had previously kicked. Grabbing it he took a deep breath and broke it across Spot's head. As his body crumpled to the floor he knew he'd regret it later. Carefully he slung Spot over his shoulders and stood to see Hell Raiser's smug grin.

"Nice."

"I do what I have to."

"No doubt, you have safe passage."

* * *

Her gowns had just been starched and ironed making it nearly impossible to navigate the streets. Shaun had ditched her maid and driver at the tailor's and was currently hurrying her way toward the shipyards. As the docks revealed themselves she smirked. Last time she had passed through the gate before her she had been barley sober and upset.

"Excuse me Ma'am," the man at the entrance cleared his throat. "No disrespect, but you can't come in here. It's very dangerous." She forced a smile tipping the brim of her hat upwards to expose her face. Recognition sparkled in his dark eyes as he furrowed his brow. No doubt it seemed unbelievable that the drunken woman claiming to be Shaun's daughter was really high society.

"I'm Shaun's daughter, remember?" he nodded slowly. "I understand you're hesitant in allowing me into the yards, but please, I really need to speak with him." Her manor most likely stunned him and without complaint gestured her in. To her amazement she found it incredibly simple to pick him from the crowd. He was crouched over a net working diligently on fixing the ropes. She moved quietly pausing just beside him.

"I didn't think you'd come back." He sighed leaning back on his heels and glancing up at her. "I thought I told you everything you wanted."

"Did you not want me to come back?" dropping the net he stood cracking his back and grunting, probably attempting to find the right words.

"No, I didn't want you to come back." Or not, she cringed. "Try and understand. I'm done with everything that happened eighteen years ago, and everyone…" he trailed off.

"I'll try, but no promises I'll get it. You are my father, and I'm not responsible for Beth's mistakes." He tensed at her name and crossed his arms. She sighed exasperated. "Let's make a deal, I'll try and understand your side, and you try to understand mine. And if I get it I won't see you again, and if you get it,"

"I'll find you." He finished. "Now what can I do for you today?"

"How long have you been sailing?" he raised his eyebrows.

"You want to ask about my job?"

"Dad, come on," he winced. "Sorry." His arms fell to his sides and he turned.

"For as long as I can remember. Ireland is surrounded by water ya know. You can always hear the sound of the waves against the cliffs." She heard the yearning in his voice and wished she could see what he remembered.

"Did you ever jump off the cliffs?" she inquired trying to keep her voice light.

"Yes, many times. Cliff diving was quite the recreation." He chuckled returning to his net.

"What's the furthest up you ever jumped?" he shrugged.

"Far. Almost a near death experience. My mother was far scarier than dying of course." His smile was warm and Shaun wished she could find a way to keep it there. "Why?" Shaun crouched so she was level with her father.

"I'm going to tell you something, Dad, and you can't tell anyone." His smile vanished.

"You have my word." She grinned.

"We would have really gotten along you know." He laughed.

By the time she left the shipyards she felt ten times lighter. Her father's intense expressions and undivided attention had helped as she explained her plans. Shaun had been thoroughly impressed with his self control, his calculated responses, and ultimately his advice. As she slowly made her way back to the tailors she realized just how much alike they were. Beth's decision to name her Shaun had been one of the smartest ones she had ever made.

Smiling she glanced up at the signs to make sure she was heading in the right direction. It wasn't the street signs that caught Shaun's gaze but a young man. He was struggling to keep the individual on his back from falling as he weaved through the gawking crowds.

Gasping Shaun dashed across the road ignoring the angry shouts as carriages clattered to an abrupt stop. "Patriot!" she called. Patriot's head jerked up his eyes wide in terror.

"Shaun," the blood drained from his face. Every building on the street could have been lit on fire but Shaun would not have noticed. Instead she reached for Spot gripping his face to lift his head. She saw the blood and smelled the liquor. It took only moments for the tears to stain her cheeks.

"What happened?" she croaked.

"It's none of your concern." Patriot's statement lacked conviction. She began to shift Spot from Patriot's shoulders to her own. "What are you doing?" he shouted in alarm raising his hand to stop her.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm taking him to the hospital."

"Let go!" he screamed stumbling backward. "Why do you care Shaun? You're the one responsible for this!" she stared at him in disbelief. "It took me days to find him, and I'm not letting you come and take him away! Now leave before he wakes up!" she gritted her teeth.

"I'm not leaving, not until I know he'll be fine." Patriot's eyes reflected disgust.

"Really? Because if you honestly cared why did you marry that Bennett guy? Why did you leave Spot to drown himself in misery? Because last time I checked Shaun, it was easy for you to leave." Her purse fell to the cobblestone as she launched herself at Patriot. Fists balled around his shirt collar and he stared at her in surprise.

"You know nothing," she seethed. Shaun's self hatred, her self anger creating fiery adrenaline. "Do not let my choices affect his health, his well being." The adrenaline reached its peak and plummeted as her eyes flickered to Spot's pallid face and lifeless body. "Patriot," she breathed. "Just let me help."

Reluctantly he nodded and she slumped in relief releasing his shirt. Quickly she retrieved her purse, surprised it remained, and hurried him through the streets. Her maid practically died of a heart attack when Shaun returned, after more than an hour absence, with the ragged boys.

"Miss Bennett," she gasped unable to help haul Spot into the carriage.

"Don't ask questions, help!" she demanded rattling off directions to Joel's family doctor's home.

It was best to keep the matter private. If anyone had seen her directing the boys previously it would make it much worse for her rumored to be at Spot's side in the hospital. If she asked it, Dr. Behm would not breathe a word to Joel or his parents.

The half hour it took to reach his home seemed endless. Shaun's hand never left Spot's as she clasped his cold fingers with every shred of strength she possessed. Only moving to check his pulse.

"Dr. Behm!" Shaun's maid leapt out of the cab and dashed towards the house once the carriage stopped. Patriot helped Spot into her driver's arms and followed numbly behind as she led the way into the mansion. Dr. Behm met them at the entrance his bag in hand and her maid behind him.

"What happened?" he was breathless.

"He was hit over the head." Patriot spoke his voice weak. "With a glass bottle."

"Anything else I need to know?" his tone was gruff as he instructed Spot to be laid out on the table.

"He was drunk." Dr. Behm nodded and shooed everyone from the room, everyone except Shaun. She stood anxious at Spot's side watching as he prodded his motionless limbs.

"This isn't the time to ask this," she began cringing as he found the source of blood. "But please don't tell anyone, not even Joel, about this." Dr. Behm was silent for a few moments as he turned Spot's face to the side.

"I figured you would ask that." He pulled a needle and thread from his supplies. Shaun instinctively took Spot's hand, even if he knew nothing of what was happening. "And I won't."

"Thank you." She whispered wishing her tears ducts would just dry up. It took an hour for Dr. Behm to finish stitching Spot's wound and to clean him up. "Will he be alright?" Shaun whispered gently tracing designs on Spot's palm.

"Yes, he may wake up with a headache, but his wound should heal in a couple of weeks, and I can prescribe some pain medicine of course." He shifted in his bag producing a glass bottle of pills. "I would like to examine him when he's awake. It would be best to make sure there's no concussion."

"I'll talk to Patriot."

"Mrs. Bennett?"

"Yes?"

"Joel is like a second son to me and his family my family. The last thing I want to see is him hurt beyond repair. You are his wife, and despite all the rumors about you, he is in love with you. Do not jeopardize him for whatever selfish reason." Shaun released Spot's hand begrudgingly and lifted her chin in defiance.

"I appreciate your concern Dr. Behm, and you're correct in everything you said. But do understand that my _selfish_ reasons are my own, and my choices are for something ultimately not selfish. You can think and say whatever you want about me, but do believe one thing. Joel Bennett is important to me, and I love him, and the last thing I would ever want to do would be to hurt him. However, sometimes, we need to do what we have to."

Dr. Behm said nothing except medical directions before exiting the room. Slowly Shaun moved towards the study where her maid, driver, and Patriot were waiting.

"How is he?" Patriot exclaimed jumping from the sofa. Shaun smiled and nodded her head encouragingly.

"He should be fine, but Dr. Behm would like for him to remain here until he wakes up. Just to make sure there's no concussion or lasting effects." Patriot clenched his fists and reluctantly nodded his agreement.

"I suppose that's okay."

"It's more than okay Patriot; Spot will be staying here until Dr. Behm gives him the okay to leave."

"You're the last person who should be giving me orders." He spat narrowing his eyes. "The only reason I allowed you to take him was because I was just as concerned as you."

"Good, I'm glad we were on the same page."

"Don't get smart with me!" he yelled lunging toward her. "Everything that's happened to Spot is your fault!" Shaun closed her eyes as she accepted the truth of that statement.

"And I won't deny that. You can blame me Patriot, all you want, but it won't change anything, especially how I feel."

"And what's that?" he growled.

"I'm in love with Spot Conlon. More in love than I wanted to be, so in love it's hard to breathe without him, so in love I can barely keep this façade from falling to my feet. I'm doing everything in my power to save someone, and I hope in the end I can get what I want, and that's Spot. It will always be Spot, I will want no one else but him, and you can think I'm lying, and if that's so, then you don't know me."

"Mrs. Bennett…" her maid whispered.

"We're leaving." Shaun gestured for her staff to follow her. She secured her hat and gloves before turning back to Patriot. "I do have one favor, when Spot's back to his old self, please have him visit me? Thank you Patriot."

It wasn't until Shaun was in her room and waiting for Joel to return home that she cried. The tears were endless as they slipped down her cheeks and into her pillow. It was time to finish everything, and once Spot visited her she would tell Joel the truth. All she wanted was to see if Spot would still love her, if he still felt anything for her, and by his reaction to her wedding there seemed to be hope.

* * *

Shaun was attempting to pay attention to what her fellow Charity members were saying. Unfortunately the budget for the coming year was unimportant to her. Instead she was contemplating the night she found Spot being carried by Patriot, bleeding and unconscious.

Joel had been concerned when he found her crying alone in her bedroom, but he thankfully did not press the reason. He merely changed clothes and crawled into bed with her stroking her hair soothingly until she finished.

A small smile formed as she weighed the wonderful traits Joel possessed, and then disappeared when she realized that didn't matter. Shaun was going to hurt him, betray him, and do everything she vowed at the altar not to in a matter of days.

"Mrs. Bennett?" she looked up to find five pairs of cynical eyes on her. Laughing light heartedly she placed a hand to her head.

"I'm sorry; I'm a little out of it today."

"Should we meet another time?" Begonia Peters inquired forcing a fake smile. Shaun returned the phony grin and shook her head.

"Of course not, I'm all yours from here out." Coincidence shattered her statement as the doorbell echoed into the parlor. "Or maybe not." She mumbled to herself tearing her eyes from Begonia's piercing gaze and reaching for the budget papers.

"Oh, if you say so Mrs. Bennett," her forged politeness grated on Shaun's nerves. Everyone knew Begonia had her sights set on marrying Joel, and suddenly the laughing stock of the upper crust had stolen him from her grasp. It was obvious in her mannerism that she despised everything about Shaun, and hated it even more she now was required to respect and take orders from her.

Joel had commanded the charity organizations under his mother's control now be Shaun's responsibility. Resentfully Shaun had obliged feeling obligated to do whatever Joel wanted of her for the time being. Everything but be a loving wife. Her shoulders shagged as her inner conscious reminded her just how awful a person she was.

"I would like half of the proceedings from the charity ball next month to go to the Newsboys." Shaun decreed chucking the papers on the table before her.

"What?" Begonia protested standing suddenly. Shaun could tell the others were not pleased with her declaration but left the outrage to Begonia.

If Miss Peters displeased Shaun she could easily have her out casted, make her a social pariah and laugh at her discomfort for the next few months, and everyone knew it. That was the power that came with being the richest man in New York's wife, the same man that invested and owned half the companies that made those that sat before her wealthy.

"Look Begonia," Shaun began leaning back and folding her hands calmly. "Don't think I'm oblivious to how these organizations worked before I came on board. I know Ginny was way too busy to keep an eye on any of you, and don't deny that most of the money you all pocketed when no one was looking. Half the purses and clothes you wear came out of the donations of your husbands' colleagues." There was uncomfortable shifting about the room.

"Don't be absurd." Begonia snapped.

"Don't be selfish," Shaun countered smirking smugly. "If none of you agree the city finally deserves some giving back then I can gladly inform Ginny and Joel of the mishaps that have been going on for these past few years. I'm sure they'd love to hear where their money really has been going. As if none of you have enough already."

There was a light knock, nearly unheard; if no one had been aware the door chime had rung a few minutes ago. "Come in!" Shaun called turning her body towards the door.

"I apologize for interrupting," her maid murmured. "But there's a guest here for you Mrs. Bennett."

"Thank you, Ursula," Shaun stood elegantly curtsying to her company. "If you'll excuse me a moment ladies, there's some business I must attend to." She gracefully exited the room, and once the door was closed released a sigh.

"Mrs. Bennett?" she smiled at her maid.

"If I'm not done in five minutes Ursula, please escort everyone out?"

"Actually Mrs. Bennett, we weren't sure if you actually called this gentleman here, so he's in the hall." She fidgeted nervously and by her concerned glances Shaun knew exactly who waited for her.

"No," she whispered the color draining from her face. "No, I did ask him to come." Jill, the maid who accompanied her the day she found Spot, was currently out ill, and the driver was with Joel. No wonder Ursula looked horrified at the idea that a ragged street kid was ringing the bell.

She stared in disbelief. "Escort him to Joel's study, and then get us tea, I'll be there in a moment." Shaun supported her self against the wall waiting for Ursula's voice to reach her. Once it did she closed her eyes as she willed her heart to slow down.

What would Spot do when he saw her? Would he hit her? Yell at her? Tell her he hated her? Everything that had happened rushed back to her. The necklace, Viola and Dr. Behm's warnings, Joel's confusion, everything. Slowly she started for the study smoothing out her dress and fixing her hair. Ursula hurried from the room sliding the door shut behind her.

"He's very…" she trailed off and Shaun smiled.

"Yes, thank you." She waited until Ursula was out of sight before entering.

Spot stood his back facing her, his hands shoved in his pockets. His wound seemed to be healing and she was grateful for that. "Spot?" she whispered.

He whipped around his blue eyes in slits, his hat tilted on his head and strands of his brown hair falling into his face. His clothes were wrinkled and dirty, but he looked amazing. She almost burst into tears at the sight of him in front of her his body radiating life. How she longed to fall into his arms and press her lips against his, to beg for his forgiveness, to make love to him right here, but she didn't.

"What do you _want_?" he screamed. She wondered if her charity visitors heard. "What the fuck could you possibly want?" he repeated stepping closer to her. His voice alone nearly sent her over the edge. Shaun merely studied him. Traced his features with her eyes and imagined touching him. Her silence caused him to grab her shoulders. She closed her eyes at the feel of his grip releasing a sigh of relief. _Spot_ she thought. He shook her violently shaking her from her revere. "I'm talking to you!"

"I want to be friends." She responded keeping her eyes closed. His laughter bubbled out of his throat and sounded hysteric. He was so close to insanity, she could hear it.

"_Friends_, did you seriously just tell me you wanted to be _friends_?"

"Yes. I'm one hundred percent serious." Finally she allowed herself to look at him. "One hundred percent." She repeated. Spot flung his arms in the air turning his attention to a frame on Joel's desk.

"I thought we were lovers Shaun, I thought we didn't lie to each other." He snatched it from its place and pointed at the photograph of her and Joel on their wedding day. "And look! You're married, here's proof! Married women can't be _friends_ with anyone!"

"And why not? I'm sorry Spot, I," in a sudden rage he flung the frame to the ground, the glass shattering across the carpet. Shaun flinched at his anger, at his hatred.

"You're _sorry_? Oh this is just wonderful, good line Shaun, keep 'em coming, you're spouting some winners."

"What do you want me to do Spot? Write my apologies in blood?" how was she continuing to speak? And coherently for that matter.

"That would be a start. I'd love to see you bleed. It would prove you're still human."

"Spot, I made a mistake please don't let it ruin what we have."

"And what is that?" he screeched. "We have nothing! There is nothing between us!" he spun to show her the expanse of the room. "I have nothing, and you have everything!" he began ripping books off the shelves, pictures from the desks, trashing the room thoroughly.

But Shaun would not stop him, his anger, no matter how passionate, proved that he still loved her. "You just got everything you ever wanted Princess, and you lied to me, used me, abandoned me in the process."

"Oh Spot," she muttered stepping toward him. He backed away.

"Don't look at me like that Princess; don't ever look at me like that." His back hit the bookcase and she saw the tears fall. It was too much for her. To see Spot so venerable, so lost, in so much pain.

She wrapped him in her arms cradling his head against her chest. He didn't pull away; he only reached up and grasped her dress holding onto her for dear life, as if she was a ghost.

Shaun inhaled his scent reveling in her favorite smells, missing the mornings she woke up tangled up with him. Missing everything about him. Her own tears threatened to fall, but she couldn't allow it. No, Shaun had an act to put on. The show must go on.

"Spot," she began, "You have every right to be mad at me, but listen to me, I still care about you. And all I want is for you to forgive me." He yanked himself away from her staring at her with disgust.

"I don't know if I can." Her heart almost broke.

"Please try." She pleaded. "I never used you, and I never abandoned you. It just feels that way. I want you in my life Spot, forever." She wished he could read between the lines. Understand. But to tell him her plans now would ruin everything, and she couldn't risk it. Not with another life in the balance.

The minutes passed by painfully as she waited for his response. Instead of anger, instead of words, His fingers gently caressed her cheek as he stared at her, as she stared at him, and slowly moved to her lips.

He ran his thumb over her bottom lip his gaze intent. It was as if they were both entranced with each other, with every feeling and emotion surging through their bodies, and carefully Spot leaned in.

His lips were inches from hers, his breath warm on her face. Shaun closed her eyes eager to feel the pressure of his lips on hers. Eager to feel the sparks that were sure to ignite, eager to feel what she always felt when he kissed her, eager for the hunger and desire that would begin in the pit of her stomach.

"There is no more forever Shaun." He whispered, his arms falling to his sides. "Not anymore."

His shoes crunched across the glass as he left the room. When she heard the front door shut her knees buckled and she collapsed into a sea of broken glass and torn books. _No more..._

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I edited real fast so I hope its alright. I should update fairly soon but again, no promises. Thank you thank you thank you for continuing to read and review. **_  
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	26. Come Around

**A/N:** My song suggestion is "Come Around" by Rosi Golan.

Chapter Twenty-four – Come Around

Shaun was curled up underneath her blankets. It had been two days since she refused to leave her room. Thankfully Jill and the rest of the staff swore to keep their mouths shut about Spot's visit. As for the damages in Joel's study, Shaun had yet to come up with a good excuse.

She and Jill had spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning, and ordering what could be replaced. By the time Joel had returned there was only a huge chunk of his library missing. He inquired about his missing books but Shaun had claimed she donated them. To her surprise Joel was clearly upset by the sudden disappearance but he kept his thoughts to himself.

After dinner Shaun was relieved to hear Jill had dismissed the charity guests as soon as she entered the study, and that was when she secluded herself in her bedroom. The clatter of dishes convinced her to peer out from her fort. Ursula was setting her supper on her nightstand signifying it was evening. She casted a concerned glance in Shaun's direction and exited.

Sighing she rolled over flinging the covers off her body. She stared at the canopy above her counting the wrinkles in the fabric. Sitting in her room would change nothing. What Spot had said had hurt her beyond repair, but what else could she expect? He had been in bad shape, and by the destruction he left in his wake, he still was.

But it still remained that he had come, and that Patriot gave him her message. For Patriot to throw his leader into something that would ultimately break him meant he had believed her. So maybe, if she was lucky, Spot would realize that there was something else going on. That she hadn't left him.

Releasing a frustrated growl she turned back burying her face in her pillow. _Damn it_ she thought fighting the tears that were her constant company.

"Shaun?" she jumped at the gentle whisper. Quickly she sat up wiping her eyes. Joel was standing at her bed side, a wrapped box in his hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He smiled. She laughed and shook her head instinctively reaching to cover her body with the comforter. She saw the hurt in his eyes at her shy nature and she looked down at her hands leaving the blankets at her knees.

"Its fine," she paused as he sat down. "I'm sorry for this." She gestured to herself. He nodded.

"You can make it up to me." She turned to him.

"How?" Shaun wanted to, she wanted to make Joel happy, just for a little bit.

"Get dressed and meet me downstairs." He placed the box in her hand before leaving. She watched him go taking deep breaths before opening his gift. Gasping she ran her fingers over the diamond necklace. It was beautiful, glittering in the faint candlelight beside her. As she lifted it from the velvet encasement she wished it was enough.

"Ma'am?" it was Ursula who coyly returned to her bedroom.

"Did Joel send you here?" she nodded meekly. Shaun chuckled replacing the necklace before standing. "I need help getting dressed, if you don't mind?" Ursula was obviously relieved that Shaun was ending her confinement. Enthusiastically she led her to the bathroom where she began filling the tub with water.

"I'm so glad, ma'am, we've all been worried about you." Shaun slowly undressed.

"I'm sorry, I've just been thinking about some things."

"I have a question, ma'am, and it's a bit forward…" Ursula trailed off as she helped her into the bath.

"Go ahead." Shaun closed her eyes at the sensation of boiling water encasing her body.

"Are you pregnant?" her eyes snapped open as she heaved herself upwards.

"What?"

"Excuse me ma'am." Ursula quickly began to help scrub her with lavender scented soap.

"No, I certainly am not!" she snatched the bar away from her. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, the others thought you might be having morning sickness, but I thought it was the boy's baby, the one you saved, and you were afraid to tell Mr. Bennett." Shaun splashed the water on herself to get rid of the suds before standing.

"I am not pregnant, not by anyone Ursula, and I hope you didn't put that thought into anyone's head." Shaun wrapped a soft towel about her form before turning to her maid. "Or I would have you ripped from this job so fast you would barely be able to blink, understand?" Ursula was surprised that someone barely clothed could be so menacing. Taking a deep breath the maid nodded her head. It was until she was helping lace Shaun into her corset that she responded.

"I told no one ma'am." She whispered. "It was only a thought."

"A false one." Shaun confirmed holding her arms up as she slid on a midnight blue gown. The folds were soft velvet, and the bodice a smooth silk. No doubt one of her most expensive dresses. "And did Joel request this?" she gestured to the garment. She wouldn't be surprised if he had considering he had given it to her the day Spot visited. According to Joel he had it custom made out of the finest fabrics.

"No, I thought you should wear it." Shaun gazed at Ursula for a long moment before turning and moving toward her night stand.

"Unfortunately Ursula, your match making will be useless. Help me put this on?" In a matter of seconds the diamonds were clasped securely around her neck and she was staring at herself in the vanity as Ursula did her hair and makeup.

"I already figured, I may be a poor maid but I know love when I see it."

"What are you talking about?" Ursula finished garnishing her curls with diamond pins before helping her stand.

"The way you looked at that boy at Dr. Behm's home. That was love if I ever saw it." She kneeled to button Shaun's boots. "And I will keep it a secret." She concluded before exiting the room.

Joel was standing at the bottom of the steps when Shaun descended the stairs. He spun on his heel, wearing a freshly pressed suit, and looking as handsome as he had been the day Shaun met him. His eyes widened in awe and his lips formed a grin.

"How was I lucky enough to marry such a beautiful woman?" he murmured when Shaun took his outstretched hands. "The dress looks exquisite, not to mention the necklace. But I think it's you that makes them look so wonderful." It took all of Shaun's strength not to burst into tears as she allowed him to lead her from the house.

"And where are we going?" she finally asked once they were situated in the carriage.

"Not telling, in fact in a few miles I'm going to make you wear a blind fold."

"Joel," she began.

"No complaining!" he chided, pinching her playfully. "You said you'd do anything to make it up to me." Shaun's complaints stopped abruptly and her shoulders shagged. Joel kept good on his promise and Shaun found herself relying on him completely as she stepped onto what she assumed to be a boat. The floor rocked back and forth and she could hear the water lap against shore.

"Joel, can't I peak?" she whined as he helped her sit. Joel released an excited laugh as he snuggled beside her. Shaun had to admit her despair was slowly eroding as the boat began to move.

"No, absolutely not. It would ruin the surprise." Shaun attempted to get Joel to change his mind, unsuccessfully of course, and when she reached the end of her excuses the boat had moored. "I'm not the youngest business man purely because of my father! I am stubborn." He teased as he led her onto a rocky road.

"How long am I going to be blind Joel?" she snapped feeling the dirt change to soft grass.

"Only until I finish untying your blind fold, wow so inpatient." He chuckled and Shaun stared eagerly in front of her. "So how do you like it?" the tears finally streamed down her cheeks as she stared at the candlelit picnic before them, and the Statue of Liberty standing in the background. Shaun could see the outline of Manhattan and turned to stare at Joel. He smiled wiping the tears from her face as he took her hand. Slowly they moved to the blanket and Shaun collapsed.

"It's beautiful Joel, really." She whispered glancing up at the stars, the stars she could finally see. Shaun took a deep, shuddering breath, and spoke. "And now, I think it's time I tell you the truth."

"Wait," Joel held his hand up as he reached into a basket beside him. "Before you tell me, let me tell you a story." He retrieved two glasses and proceeded to pour wine into them. "I'm not really sure what you're going to say, Shaun, but I don't think it's what I wish you would say." He passed her the glass, which she could barely hold in her trembling hands. "So I want to tell you why I'm so in love with you." Shaun lowered her gaze from his.

"Joel," she cried.

"Not yet," he smiled, "Stop being so inpatient." How his voice could remain light and teasing was beyond Shaun's comprehension. Joel stood, his back to her, as he stared at Manhattan. "Being the only son of the wealthiest family in New York City, not to mention an heiress from England, I had always been dragged to balls, parties, business meetings, I had always been stuck as center of attention. It got old, being around the same shallow people, listening to the same mundane, mindless chatter. I wanted something to give, to change," he paused as he swallowed most of his wine. "It wasn't until a summer party five years ago that I found that refreshing change I desired."

Shaun was sitting on her knees now, entranced by his tale. She had always known of Joel Bennett, but this side of him, his true thoughts, was unknown until this moment. "I wasn't always handsome you know," he chuckled at the memory. "I had horrible marks on my face, my hair was unruly, and I was terribly short. Nothing about me was found desirable by the opposite sex, and I knew the girls of other wealthy families only spoke to me because of my rank." He filled his glass once more before returning to his previous stance.

"One night the boys were making fun of me, and since we were beyond our parent's supervision, Charles Castor shoved me into a vase. Despite being a boy and being raised to be tough I could feel myself crying. It only became more reason for my being bullied. And the girls? The girls who could possibly be my suitors in the future? They only laughed, and joined into the ridicule."

At this moment he turned to Shaun and kneeled before her. He didn't have to continue for she knew what happened next. Shaun knew, because she was there. However, Joel Bennett had changed so drastically she could hardly believe he was that boy. A boy she thought had disappeared after the incident, a boy that had been shipped off to boarding school.

"That was you?" she breathed.

"Yes, it was." He dropped his glass and took her hands. "And you stormed over and shoved the boys back. Shouted obscenities no proper girl would ever say, and turned to me and said, 'Don't you ever listen to a damn thing anyone ever says about you, because you are handsome, smart, kind, and worth it.'"

"How did you remember me?"

"How could I forget you? You were the only person who was honest, and humane, and I knew then what I wanted. I wanted to be all those things you said. So I begged to be sent to the top boarding school in Europe. I studied day and night; I exercised and worked on my physical appearance. I made sure that I treated every person how I wanted to be treated, and I made sure I knew all aspects of my father's business, so I could be worth marrying. So I could be everything you ever dreamed of."

How could Shaun tell Joel now, tell him how she didn't love him, how she used him, how could she hurt him? Her honesty had changed him, but she was nothing but a liar. Hardly worth any of his endeavors.

"I can't believe it."

"I love you; I love you so much that it hurts to be parted from you. And when I returned from Europe I was incredibly excited to see you again. Of course, you were beautiful, and graceful, and smart. I almost lost the ability to speak to you, but I did, and now, here we are." He sighed releasing her. "Here we are, and I can tell you don't feel the same. I thought I had you the first time we met, but I suppose not." It was Shaun's turn. Carefully she rocked back on her heels and stood.

"If things had been different, then you would have had me." She confirmed turning so she could see the Brooklyn Bridge.

"So what changed?"

"Remember when I disappeared for all those months?"

"Of course, I couldn't find you, and your parents hardly mentioned you." She smirked.

"You asked them about me?"

"Yes, constantly. I was searching for you, and when they said you had traveled to Europe, I was afraid you had married."

"No, I wasn't in Europe either, actually my parents sold me."

"What?" Shaun laughed as she finally mentioned it aloud. "They did what?"

"They sold me to William Manchester." She refused to look at Joel; instead she kept her eyes on the bridge. "It was enough money to keep their business afloat, and in return Manchester took me and locked me in his basement."

"Shaun..."

"You may not believe me, and that's fine, but it's the truth. For months I was chained against a wall in the dark. He starved me, burned me, and abused me. Until he decided to release me into a maze he built underneath the city. I wasn't alone, Manchester was much sicker than that, there were others that he proceeded to hunt and kill."

Joel pushed himself off his knees and moved toward her. Shaun raised a hand, keeping her gaze locked on Brooklyn. "Don't comfort me. Just let me finish." She heard him step back and retrieve his glass for another helping of wine.

"Go on." He replied his voice gruff.

"It had been months, _months_ that I was left down there. And I watched two people enter that maze, and one that would never come out." She paused wishing Spot's arms were around her, that he was there as she repeated the horrors she endured. He wasn't there, he was suffering alone, and suffering with the horrors she was responsible for. "That was when Spot came."

Her voice broke, but she quickly regained her composure. Joel was well on his fourth glass by then. "Spot Conlon, the King of Brooklyn, my savior. He was the reason I survived that maze, he is the reason I live now."

She tore her eyes from the bridge and turned to Joel. His well groomed appearance was ruffled now, his jaw clenched. Shaun took the glass from his hands and threw it behind her. Gently she took his hands and squeezed them reassuringly. "I tried to commit suicide almost a year ago."

"Why?" Joel demanded his eyes widening in disbelief.

"My parents beat me, did you know that? Every day I was kicked until bones were broken, slapped until my face was red, and screamed at until I cried myself to sleep. And one day I decided to end everything, all the pain, all the hatred. But Spot Conlon found me." Shaun smiled despite herself. "He found me and I stepped off the side of the Brooklyn Bridge and suddenly things started to change. I didn't realize then, but I know now. He means everything to me Joel."

"Shaun, I can't believe everything you've gone through." Joel began removing himself from her grip. "But I know you aren't lying, at least not about that. And it disgusts me to know your parents are the monsters you paint them as."

"Now you understand my behavior."

"Now I understand a lot. But if Spot Conlon means so much to you, why did you marry me? Why did you make me believe you loved me, that I had completed my goals and made myself worthy to you? Do you understand me Shaun? Understand anything at all?" his voice rose, and suddenly Joel wasn't the man she knew, but someone entirely different, he was identical to Spot as he screamed at her.

His pain was something she had already seen. "I am in love with you! I would have been much better off if you had denied me the chance to hold you, touch you, and think you were mine. And only mine."

"Joel, there is another I love more than Spot, that is first priority in my life. You know him as Matthew Kenneth. He's the reason I allowed you to believe you accomplished what you had strove for." He turned, most likely not to allow her to see his tears, as he took deep breaths."

"Your brother."

"Yes, my brother, who still lives with my parents. Who still is under their custody, who is still being abused by them."

"That's unfortunate."

"Extremely unfortunate, but what could I do? My parents thought Manchester had killed me. Unmarried, poor, and supposedly dead, what power did I have to save him?" Joel looked at her then, his eyes cold and blank.

"But I have power."

"Yes."

"I have money."

"Yes."

"And I wanted to marry you."

"Correct."

"And I wanted to buy your parents company and bankrupt your father."

"You catch on quickly."

"I'm not the wealthiest man in New York City because I'm handsome, Shaun."

"I wanted you to destroy them Joel Bennett, financially, socially, and emotionally, and then because I was your wife, you could take custody of Mattie."

"I see." He smiled reaching for the bottle instead of a glass. "Clever, clever girl, and then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"You love Spot Conlon, so then we have Mattie, what would you do? Cheat on me every night? Leave me with the financial responsibility of caring for Mattie and you? Get pregnant and say the kid was mine to bypass any scandal and save face in front of my parents?"

She flinched at his harsh accusations, but she had no right to be hurt. Everything he would say from here onward was true. Shaun was a selfish woman, who deserved much more than harsh words.

"No, you would take Mattie, and I would take my parents lives." He gasped, his gaze no longer blank, but frightened.

"What are you saying?" he whispered.

"I plan to kill them, Joel, they don't deserve to live, nor breathe the same air as Mattie and I. If I could hunt them like Manchester hunted me I would be truly fulfilled, but I will settle with a bullet to the head."

"You will go to jail."

"No, I don't plan that either."

"What do you plan? Run the rest of your life? Move to Santa Fe?" his voice rose once more. "Live in the Wild West like those outlaw cowboys?"

"To run, to go to jail, will only bring unwanted gossip to you for the rest of your existence, and Mattie's. My plan is fake my own death, maybe even die," Shaun shrugged, "Make it seem as if I was mentally ill, and then they wouldn't be able to blame you. In fact, I will have those ideals planted as soon as my plan goes into effect. I will not have you and Mattie live with my mistakes for the rest of your lives." Joel grabbed her wrists pulling her towards him.

"Shaun, I will not let you die." She smiled.

"You don't have a say in this matter Joel. What happens to me is not your decision to make. But what happens to Mattie is. I know what I've done to you is unforgivable, and if you hated me, then please hate me with every fiber of your being, but I have a favor to ask."

"You don't have to ask. I will take custody of him Shaun. If I can keep one part of you, then I will take it with any consequences. If you can trust me enough to care for your brother while you…disappear…then I will care for him."

"I don't deserve that Joel, but thank you. Please, bankrupt my family, take everything from them, and then, I will do my part. Mattie should already be in your custody. I will have them leave you the rights."

"Shaun…"

"Don't make me lose my courage. I've already made up my mind."

They were silent for awhile. Joel held her wrists his eyes searching for any sign of indecision. He knew that she didn't love him, that was clear, but for her to do what she planned, that was much too painful for him to process.

"Can I ask for a favor?"

"How could I deny you anything?"

"Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it; lie to me like you love me. Let me feel as if I have everything I've ever wanted before you leave me forever."

"Joel." She gasped.

"Please." He begged.

Shaun closed her eyes and her lips met his. They molded together in a fiery passion as Joel wrapped his fingers in her auburn locks. The diamond pins fell from her tresses and her ringlets encircled them. It was moments before they came up for air. Joel only gave her a minute before his lips were on hers again, and this time she tasted his tears. Tasted his sorrow as he kissed what he had always dreamt goodbye.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and now a lot is very clear to all of you! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, but I went to New York and saw Newsies on Broadway! I will recommend seeing it to any Newsie fan. I was disappointed at some parts, but all in all it was a really good show. I mean, what can possibly replace our boys anyway? It was very exciting, and I saw the Horace Greeley Statue! Which I was extremely happy to find, which I had to taken a million pictures of! And I yelled over the side of the Brooklyn Bridge ;) **

**Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate all your reviews! **


	27. Set Fire to the Third Bar

**A/N: "Set Fire to the Third Bar" by Snow Patrol is my song suggestion. **

Chapter twenty-five – Set Fire to the Third Bar

Shaun stood outside of her old home watching as government officials removed items from the house. She was across the street, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders, and a wide brim hat secured on her head. As much as she wanted her parents to see her face as they lost their mansion, their sense of security, she remained hidden. Instead she watched her mother stumble down the marble steps attempting to grab a chest full of clothes.

"Please!" she begged as the official turned away. "Please at least let me keep one gown!" her hands missed the dresses and she tumbled to her knees. A smile tugged at Shaun's lips as a crowd of the upper crust gathered to watch. Eviction was just the beginning; soon their misfortune would be circulated around the very people her mother had strived to please. And soon they would be social pariah's never to be invited to parties, never to be spoken would suffer the same critical speculation that Shaun had to endure as she barely survived in their world.

"James!" Beth screeched as he followed an officer from the house. "_Do _something!" Shaun's step father reached into his pocket producing a gold cigarette case. Carefully he placed one in his mouth and inhaled while he lit it. Before he could exhale the smoke an officer took the case from his hands. If James was upset someone could hardly tell. His face was a stony mask while he flicked the ashes to the sidewalk. "_James_!" another desperate plea from her mother.

"What do you expect me to do dear? We're broke." Beth screamed in frustration as she took the steps two at a time to the entrance.

"Sorry ma'am," an officer began as he blocked her entrance. "This is no longer your property; if you enter I will have to arrest you for trespassing."

"This is my _home, _it has been for years! Now let me through!"

"You have no jurisdiction to tell me what to do. I work for the city of New York & the Bennett Corporation, and they ordered me not to allow you entrance."

"Bennett…" her mother gasped, her eyes narrowing. Shaun knew she understood now, she understood exactly who was responsible for their sudden poverty.

Another officer escorted her to the sidewalk as they took more furniture from the premises. It was Mattie that made Shaun remove her disguise. He was being lead out by the staff, Badger at his side, wiping tears from his eyes. An official was apparently taking a few of his items.

"Please," Mattie began. "That's my favorite glove; can I at least keep it?" Shaun dropped her hat and crossed the street forgetting she was attempting to stay hidden.

"Give him the glove." She demanded snatching it from the officer's hands. Mattie's eyes lit up, an abrupt smile stretching his hollow features.

"Shaun!" he cried wrapping his tiny arms around her waist. "Shaun! Shaun!" he kept chanting as Badger jumped onto her side trying to lick her face.

"My apologies Mrs. Bennett."

"I want all of Mattie's things to be sent to my estate in the Hampton's for storage. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" Quickly Mattie's toys, clothes, and furniture were transported from the police carriage to another.

"Mattie," Shaun whispered. "Let me go."

"No!" he complained. His tears began to stain her dress.

"Just for a minute." He sniffed as he reluctantly let go and Shaun passed him off to a maid.

"You did this!" Beth screamed lunging at Shaun. She closed her eyes as the burning sting of her mother's hand left its mark on her cheek. "You bitch!" her fingers tangled themselves in her collar as she shook her.

Laughter echoed behind them as James Kenneth burst into hysterics. "You ungrateful child!" Officers grabbed at her mother's waist pulling her from Shaun. "Let me go! I'm going to kill her!"

"Oh mother," Shaun said smoothing the wrinkles in her dress. "Have you realized nothing? I hold all the power now. And you don't." Beth's eyes widened. "And this is just a taste." Shaun gestured towards the now empty mansion. "Arrest her for assault." She demanded her voice suddenly cold.

"You bitch! Let me go, no, no!" her mother screamed as they dragged her to a police carriage. Shaun grinned as they locked iron cuffs about her wrists and chucked her into the back of the rectangular box.

She turned observing the expressions of the individuals that once called themselves friends to the Kenneth's. Their faces were etched with disgust as they leaned to whisper to each other. Mattie was waiting at the curb tears falling down his cheeks. Quickly Shaun rushed to his side wiping them from his face.

"No Mattie, don't cry." She comforted kneeling to be on his level.

"Why does Mommy hate you so much?" he sobbed wrapping his arms around her neck to bury his face into her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Mattie, I shouldn't have let you see that." She glanced up at the officers hovering nearby.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Bennett, but we have to take Matthew to the orphanage. His parents are no longer fit to care for him."

"You will do no such thing." She gently pushed Mattie from her and stood. "He is my brother, and he will be coming with me!"

"The law says…"

"Forget the law, if you have a problem with my decision then you can take it up with my husband, Joel Bennett. Now if you excuse us." She wrapped her arm around Mattie's shoulders. "And Juliette?"

"Ma'am?"

"Could you please take Mattie to my home in upper Manhattan? My carriage is waiting across the street. Let Ursula know that I want you to remain there until I return."

"Yes ma'am."

"Shaun," Mattie complained grasping Badger's collar. "You're not coming?"

"I have somewhere I need to go Mattie, but be a strong boy for me and go with Juliette?" slowly he nodded. "I love you."

She kissed his forehead before leaving him with the only staff from her mother's estate she trusted. Juliette hurried Mattie across the street and she nodded to the driver before he helped them inside. With one last glance at her old home she turned and headed towards a place she hadn't been in quite some time.

* * *

The Manhattan Newsboys Lodging House stood before her the same as it always had been. Inviting, warm, and boarding the only people she ever considered her true family. Now as she paused at the entrance she felt as if that bond no longer existed. Family wasn't one sided it was a two way street, and the night she left Spot, their side had disappeared. The boys had seen what Spot saw, a liar, a gold digger, someone they couldn't stand beside, and now, as she started towards the door, a beggar.

Shaun was here to reconcile with those she loved, the boys that saved her, the boys that protected her, and welcomed her, but in their world once you betrayed them there was no coming back.

The house was empty as she entered giving her unexpected time to gain her composure. Her gloved fingers traced the wood of Kloppman's counter as she remembered the many memories that were created within these walls. Shaun had never been one to plan ahead. Most of her decisions were made on impulse and as her feet tugged her toward her old bedroom she racked her brain for the right words.

The door creaked open as she pushed it inward. Her blue eyes scanned the room taking their time to drink in every inch of what she once called home. Slowly she moved toward the bed and seated herself on the edge. Her polished boots had created footprints on the floor and she chuckled quietly. The lack of care to the room hardly bothered her, in fact it was endearing.

"None of you came in here." She whispered turning to stare at the dusty nightstand. Once more her pristine gloves made contact with the crude furniture, but this time her fingers left marks in the dirt.

Shaun was unsure of how long she subconsciously drew images in the grime but once she shook herself from the reverie her jaw clenched. An abrupt rush of adrenaline nearly pushed her sobs free of the confinement of her body.

Staring up at her from the filth were the clean, precise letters, S-P-O-T. It was the sound of footsteps and boisterous laughter that tore her gaze from the name and towards the door.

"Like I'd give you a dime!" she heard Racetrack snap.

"I won fair and square Race, now cough it up!" Shaun quietly pushed herself from the bed and crept towards the door frame to listen.

"It was rigged, Jack, tell 'em, it was rigged!"

"Race," Jack groaned, "I've told you about gambling before. It's not rigged its bad luck."

"Jack!"

"You owe Snipe a dime, ten pennies, however ya wanna pay 'em. Good Night."

"Damn it! We'll play again tomorrow, double or nothing."

"You're on; I'll be coming into some money."

"Don't get cocky." Shaun had forgotten the unknowing charm the newsboys possessed. Amongst themselves they were a breath of fresh air in the city of New York, for hardly anything dampened their spirits. Whether it was a newspaper mogul, a murderous hunter, or the harsh weather of the east coast they always put on a brave front.

As she rested her back against the door frame she realized how much of herself she saw in them, and their refusal to give in to torment, or the fate that seemed to shadow each boy as they woke up early in the morning to sell papes.

It was a crap shoot to live on the streets of New York City, but every day the boys won their bets. It wouldn't take much thought as to why her feet brought her back her. Before she disappeared she had to say goodbye.

Reluctantly she moved from her bedroom and towards the entrance. Jack, Snipeshooter, and Racetrack were still there, clearly arguing over Racetrack's chronic gambling. It was only a matter of seconds before all three turned their gazes in her direction.

She couldn't help but smirk at their uncanny ability to sense when someone was near. Of course, this was all part of the constant need to watch their back. A newsboys' guard could never be let down. Each one attempted to hide the shock that filtered across their features, but she noticed before they were able to mask it.

Her shiny auburn hair, clean skin, expensive gown, and glittering diamonds set her apart from the worn clothes and dirty faces of the boys in front of her. But all Shaun saw was her family, and her eyes watered. She desperately wanted to fall to their feet and beg their forgiveness, tell them everything, but her boys would forever be in the dark.

"Shaun." Race whispered gradually removing the cap perched on his head.

"Race." She responded her voice catching in her throat. "How are you?" he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

"What are you doing here?" Jack demanded the fatigue in his tone gone entirely. His brown eyes reflected contempt as he studied her.

"I've come here talk to you all." The others entered in a wave of chatter that immediately ended when they saw the woman who now stood her arms extended towards Jack.

"There's nothing to talk about." Shaun expected them to be angry, but what she hadn't expected was how much it would hurt. As much as she wished she could deny it, she would never entirely understand them.

Shaun may have had her share of pain, abandonment, and hatred, but she had never grown up in poverty, had to fend for herself at a young age, or live in a world the spent every day trying to crush her. Shaun's wealth would always be an obstacle, a resentment that would set her apart from the ragged army of boys, and the resentment reflected in each of their eyes as they studied her every move like hunters.

"I know you believe that I betrayed you for money. That I betrayed Spot."

"We don't have to believe, we know!" Jack interrupted. "We read it in the papers, oh ,yeah, we can read, or did you forget that?"

"Jack, don't talk to me like that."

"Talk to you like what? Like you don't matter? Did you think your donation to help the poor would make it better?!" She forced herself to scan the crowd of boys she once knew so well. Each one with their eyes narrowed, their arms crossed. "What about Spot? Have you seen what you've done to him? Or did you forget about him too?"

"No, don't talk to me like you've already judged me! Like you know everything about the choices I made, like you all were in my shoes, thinking what I thought, or living what I live! Did you all forget that I was in that maze too? What about you Racetrack? Did you forget who took your hand? Who led you out? You can throw Spot in my face, you can throw my wealth, and the headlines in my face, but you all will never truly understand if you don't listen to me!"

Jack stood back pulling himself into the defensive stance of the others. "I don't have to tell any of you what unfinished business means. And I don't have to tell you what it's like to have an undying loyalty to someone that you would give your life for to save. I had to go back."

While their stances lessened from a threatening demeanor to those of hurt boys she knew it would take a lot more than what she said now to fix it. Unfortunately Shaun didn't have enough time.

She curled her fists at her sides and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. "I don't have to tell any of you what opportunity means, and if it meant saving someone you love you all would take it. We don't get second chances to save a life."

"And you don't get second chances on the streets either." Kid Blink spat moving so he stood before her. "It's one thing to leave Shaun, but to destroy a person inside and out, that's a whole other story entirely."

"Spot hasn't abandoned us for anything or anyone. And now he's barely sober and barely alive." Boots protested.

"And you? You're living it big in the Hamptons, or giving money out hand over fist to charity as if you give a damn." Specs added.

"Is that it? Is that all you have to accuse me of? That I gave money to charity? And that I broke Spot's heart. I'm not standing here apologizing to Spot Conlon, I'm here to talk to a group of boys I love, a group of boys that I thought would stand by me too!"

"Yeah, and we thought you'd stand by us!" Race cried.

"That's why I'm here!" she screamed.

"I'm not going to leave this world without telling all of you what you mean to me! I'm not going to justify what has happened to Spot, or justify my behavior. I'm only here to say thank you. I'm so happy I met you, I'm happy I was thrown into the maze. Because instead of death I found life, and I will always be grateful to you all for that realization. The months I spent with you all were the happiest in my life, and if it wasn't for any of you I wouldn't be here, and as for Spot,"

Shaun wiped the tears that were clouding her vision. "If it wasn't for Spot I wouldn't be alive. So please, don't judge me." Before anyone could respond she lifted her skirts and ran. All she could manage now was to leave it all behind.

It was halfway to Tibby's that she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Shaun, stop!"

"What?!" Jack grasped her shoulders and stopped her.

"Shaun." She blinked her eyes until she could focus on the Manhattan leader. "Shaun." He repeated.

"What?" his hands dropped from her shoulders to her hands. He squeezed them reassuringly.

"We still don't condone what you did. Or understand why, but, sometimes second chances deserve to be given, do what you gotta do." He smiled, wiped the tears from her cheeks, and walked away.

Shaun bit her lip till it bleed to keep fresh tears from streaking her face. Since her decision to kill her parents she always had known she would follow through, but now as she watched Jack's retreating back, she had the courage to stand tall while she did it.

* * *

Shaun sat rigid in the plush chair across from her lawyer, as she watched him finish the paper work. Slowly his pen flowed across the white page creating a binding contract. The corners of her lips turned upward as she focused her gaze on the black letters.

In a matter of hours Matthew Kenneth would officially be the adopted son of Joel Bennett and his fate would no longer be in uncertain hands. Finally Mr. Bueford dotted the last I and crossed the last T's, and leaned back to admire his work.

"This should do it." He said reaching into his drawer for a cigar.

"I would hope so, My husband and I are paying you a lot of money for it to be correct." He chuckled as the smoke flowed from his lips and towards her direction.

"Don't worry Mrs. Bennett, this contract is legal, and binding."

"Exactly what I want." She popped open her clutch and produced his payment in fifty dollar bills. He coughed loudly as she placed the sum on his desk and retrieved the contract. "My parents will sign this tonight." She assured folding the document gently and securing it in her bag.

"From what I know your parents aren't too willing to give up custody." Bueford commented eagerly reaching for the cash. "In fact," he continued flipping through the bills, "It's rumored you've gone crazy."

"Aren't you bold?" she replied smirking as she moved toward him. Slamming her fists on the desk she leaned forward surprising the lawyer. He nearly toppled over to get away from her. "You have a lot of gall to say that to me." She whispered. "But I'm not denying any rumors."

"I feel bad for Joel." Bueford continued bravado dousing his fear. "But no one can blame him. You were just a charity case." Shaun clenched her jaw and with a forced smile reached into her corset. Bueford watched her in disbelief until she produced a small hand gun. "What are you doing!" he cried jumping up. Straightening she pointed the barrel towards his forehead.

"Say that again Mr. Bueford."

"I'm sorry, please don't kill me!"

"If I hear anything coming from your lips about me, I'll put this gun to some use. Understood?"

"Understood." He groveled shakily holding himself up by the wall.

"Excellent. And for your sake I hope these papers are worth your fee." She slipped the firearm into its hiding place. "Good day Mr. Bueford." Lifting her chin she exited his office grinning.

Just a couple weeks ago she had made sure rumors of her sanity would be circulated amongst the wealthy, rumors that she was going insane, and that poor Joel was unsure of how to cure her. She even threw in that he married her for charity and that he had felt bad for her family. At this moment Joel was a saint and she was a mental case.

The rumors were perfect, and despite her abominable intentions she couldn't help but praise herself. Shaun Kenneth was controlling the very people that used to control her and it felt amazing. For once she was playing god while the others fumbled over themselves to be pawns in her game.

Once outside she sighed at the cool wind that flitted across her face. Unfortunately Mattie had been taken into state custody and each day he was an orphan broke Shaun's heart. Ultimately there was nothing Joel could do against the law, but he was able to ensure a wealthy couple would foster him for the time being. Her parents however, weren't so lucky.

Her mother had recently been released from jail and was living in a tenement building with five other families. Shaun laughed aloud as she imagined her mother's misery. As she made her way towards her last destination as a free, and rumored insane woman, she thought of her father.

When she had explained her plans of murdering Beth he hadn't empathized with her. In fact he claimed how disappointed he was. Shaun explained that he wished he had known about his daughter so that he could raise her to forgive, not to hate. It was that statement that made her respect her father so much more. How could her mother betray such a loving man? But tonight, tonight Shaun would take her vengeance on the two most hateful beings she had ever met.

* * *

Patriot waited at the Brooklyn side of the bridge just as Shaun had asked. He couldn't fathom why he had agreed to meet her against Spot's decree. If any of Spot's birdies caught him speaking with her he knew he'd be in for a beating, and Shaun, well she'd be publicly run out of Brooklyn by a shabby group of thugs.

Despite what his head told him Patriot believed her. Somehow he felt as if he should help her. Sure she had been the downfall of Brooklyn, a man he respected, a leader he would fight for, and a friend he would die for, but there was something in her eyes when she spoke about him, a tone in her voice which convinced Patriot that she honestly loved Spot Conlon.

"Patriot." He glanced up to meet Shaun's eyes. Her demeanor startled him as he studied the girl before him. This wasn't the Shaun he had run into on the streets, this was a different person. She oozed confidence and anger as she held out her hands. He glanced down at the envelope in her fist. "Could you give this to Spot?"

"What is it?" he eyed it like a disease.

"The finale." She breathed reaching for his hand. He jumped at her commanding touch as she secured the paper in his grip.

"Shaun, what's going on?" he asked suddenly afraid. His heart pounded as he watched her cold smile spread across her face.

"The beginning of an end Patriot."

"Whatever you're doing, don't hurt Spot." She laughed.

"I'm not going to hurt him," she paused before adding, "Physically."

"Spot is important to me. He is a good friend, and I honestly don't understand why I'm helping you, but please, could you consider letting him go?" she stared at him and her expression answered his question before her words did.

"I can't live without him." Patriot ran his free hand through his hair. Why was he doing this?

"Alright. I'll make sure he gets this."

"Thank you Patriot, for everything." She stepped toward him placing a kiss on his cheek. As she walked away the gears in his brain turned at high speeds as he processed their encounter.

Shaun was planning something big, something life changing, and whatever her end would be, she wanted Spot to come with her. What was he doing? Patriot thought as he slowly made his way to the warehouse. She was hypnotizing, manipulative, and he fell for each move Shaun made. How could he allow Spot to read whatever was in this envelope, how could he release his best friend into the clutches of Shaun Kenneth?

It was beyond his control the first time they met, but it was in his hands to allow a second time. Would she leave him barely breathing somewhere, just a vessel without a soul? She nearly succeeded when she married Joel Bennett, but what next?

By the time he reached Spot's bedroom door he had hardly worked through his thoughts. His common sense had dispersed when he knocked and Spot called him in. His leader was leaning back in a chair, his feet propped on the window sill, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Back from selling so early?" he asked jingling the change in his pocket. "It took me four hours to make enough for rent and food, not too many good headlines."

"Yeah, not too many." Patriot agreed. "I was surprised to make what I did."

"Don't lie to me." Spot exploded slamming the heels of his boots on the floor before standing. "I know you didn't sell anything today." His blue eyes pierced through Patriot's courage. "Why?" he seethed clenching his fists. "Why did you see her?!" he demanded kicking the chair over before lunging at Patriot. Spot's fists clenched the fabric of Patriots shirt as he pulled him close. "You know the rule."

"I don't know why."

"You don't _know_." He repeated.

"No."

"What did she want?" slowly Spot released him before turning his back. "What did she have to say now?"

"She gave me this to give to you." Spot spun on his heel and snatched the envelope from Patriot's outstretched hand. By his eagerness to read whatever message Shaun left Patriot knew Spot was far from hating her.

He ripped the paper from its encasement and unfolded the letter. It took moments for his eyes to scan its contents before glancing up at his second in command. "I can tell by your face she wants you to do something."

"Yes." He replied moving toward his ashtray.

"And I can tell you want to do it." Spot retrieved another cigarette, rolling it between his fingers as he stared at her note.

"How can you tell?"

"I don't know why I'm her advocate. I mean, I know she's going to take you away from me." He laughed as he moved towards the window. "But, I can't advise you differently. Because I saw how you looked at her, I remember how you acted, and I see what she's done to you. You can barely function without her, and by the looks of her today, she can barely function without you."

"What do you mean?" Spot snapped. Patriot shrugged watching the ships roll in.

"There's something off about her, like she has some plan but is unsure of the outcome." He turned to catch his leader's gaze. "I think you have something to do with the outcome."

"I think so too." Spot responded before smirking. "I don't think I want to play another game Patriot. I'm done with mazes." He lit a match and held it inches from her paper.

"Before you set fire to that, think about it. I think, I think this is the end Spot. The end of the game." The flame wavered near the document. "And I want you to do what she asked."

"Patriot," Spot's voice was barely a whisper.

"You and I both know you're in love with her. And nothing she's done, and nothing she'll do will ever change that."

"If I don't come back…" he trailed off.

"I know what to do." Spot used the match to light his cigarette.

**A/N: So I thought something wasn't adding up when I read this, so I went back to reread previous chapters. And I'm disappointed with them. I feel like my writing is just...horrible. Of course this may be the perfectionist, but either way, it is what it is. I guess some chapters were strong and others weak. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this, and as you can tell by the tone, the next chapter will be the last. Hard to believe! **


	28. Self Conclusion

**A/N: Please listen to Self Conclusion by The Spill Canvas for the first half, and then at the page break Down by Jason Walker, and then at the last page break, Medicine by Daughter. **

Chapter twenty six- Self Conclusion

Shaun's hands ran across the soft fabric of her bed as she moved about her room. This would be the last time she would stand in the home Joel had bought for them. The last time she would rest her gaze on the extensive wardrobe or the jewels.

With a deep breath she paused in front of her full length mirror. Not too long ago when she saw her reflection a broken girl stared back, her features sullen, her eyes dull with hopelessness. Now as she studied the woman before her she saw someone strong, someone determined, and someone who would avenge everything that was done to her. Shaun wouldn't miss the clothes, the jewels, or the wealth. The only thing she was concerned about was changing the fate of her family.

Brushing the curls from her face she pinned them securely in a messy bun and smiled. Ursula had dressed her in the most expensive gown she owned as Shaun instructed, and ordered the chef to cook Joel's favorite supper.

The sun dipped behind the horizon as she glided down the steps to the dining room. Candles flickered in the dim room illuminating the feast donning the cherry table. At the end stood Joel, dressed in his best, a glass of wine clenched in his fist.

"You look breath taking." He said his tone barely above a whisper. She smiled gently as she moved towards her place beside him.

"So do you." He forced a smirk as she sat down. Tensely he seated himself and took a long drink. He jerked at her touch as she entwined her fingers with his. "Don't." she whispered leaning toward him. "I don't want our last dinner to be like this." His laughter bubbled out his throat and past his lips before he could stop it.

"What did you expect Shaun?" he snapped pulling his hand from her grip. "In hours you're going to commit murder, and possibly die yourself. Did you think I would be happy? You're my wife, I'm in love with you, and I have to sit here and accept something I don't want to accept!" he slammed his fists knocking the silverware on the floor. "Dammit Shaun!"

"Joel, can I tell you a story?" she asked her voice calm and soothing. Gritting his teeth he accepted her gentle touch on his arm before releasing a sigh.

"Go ahead."

"William Manchester's maze had tested every part of my being. It played to every emotion I had ever felt, and had nearly left me broken and alone. When I had found the end of dark rooms and endless passages I found the finale of my suffering. I had walked in confident that I would save the life of someone I loved and realized I was powerless. Manchester had held all the cards since the beginning and I was standing there gazing at two people I cared about standing on a tiny box. A box that if kicked would kill them."

"Shaun, how is this relevant?" Joel inquired shakily pouring himself another drink. "Do you want me to feel worse for not saving you then at the garden party?"

"No Joel, this isn't a guilt trip."

"Then what is it!" he snapped.

"Just listen, I'm not finished yet." He narrowed his eyes and gestured angrily for her to continue. Smiling she turned her attention to the empty plate before her. "I'll continue if you at least eat a little. I had this ordered especially for you."

"You are unbelievable Shaun Kenneth. You're begging me to eat your last meal with a smile on my face."

"No, not with a smile." Angrily he served himself a little of everything and took a large bite.

"Happy?" he growled. "Now finish."

"I had to choose between Spot and my friend, Abigail, on who would live and who would die." Joel paused in his sad attempts at eating his supper. His gaze softened from justifiable anger to disbelief.

"I had thought I couldn't pick between them, but the truth was I had already known who it would be. Abby was my friend, I cared about her, but I was in love with Spot Conlon. I couldn't leave that maze alive without him. He had taught me everything about living, and about the pain of doing so."

"Shaun," Joel whispered dropping his fork. "Please,"

"Just wait." She grasped his hand. "Before I made my choice I saw something that was almost too much to bear, that confirmed my love for him. Acceptance. He accepted death before he even knew my decision. He accepted dying so Abby could live, and he would forgive me." Shaun paused to catch her breath.

"So Spot's a better man than me then? Because he accepted that he would die? Is that what you're telling me?" Joel's tone was bitter.

"You're missing the point. Look at me." It took him a few moments but he finally locked his gaze on hers. Gently she rested her hand against his cheek. "I am not afraid, I am not angry, I accept everything that will happen from this moment on. If you feel guilt don't. Abby looked at me with acceptance before she died too. If I learned anything from them it was that. To accept what you cannot change." Joel wrapped his fingers around hers leaning his face into her warm palm.

"Killing your parents can be changed. Dying can be changed; you're making those decisions Shaun. No one else is playing you like a chess piece anymore." She smiled.

"Do you believe in fate Joel?" Shaun whispered. He stared at her confusion clouding his eyes.

"What?"

"I think its fate. I think everything from day one has been fate."

"I don't understand."

"Spot rescued me from death the first time, you gave me a reason to believe at the garden party, and Manchester gave me the one person who would always be my beacon in the dark, and after, your love gave me someone who could rescue Mattie from my parents hatred. See, it's always been planned."

"I don't know if I believe that." He responded finally pulling away from her. "Because fate should have given you to me only."

"No, that's not how fate works Joel, it works against what you want and works for what you need."

"Your story won't make me accept your choices."

"And I don't want it too. I just want you to understand how I think." Shaun checked the time and sighed. Carefully she stood dropping her napkin on the table. "Thank you Joel, for everything."

"It's time then?" he asked standing as well.

"It's time." Sighing he stared into the determined blue eyes of the woman he was in love with. He would never admit it because it would give Spot credit, but he had changed her. Somehow Shaun was a different person for knowing him. She had become stronger, and confident. If only Joel had been the one to change her. "Do you remember your part?" she wondered causing him to smile.

"I won't forget." He moved toward her wishing he could kiss her one last time. She wouldn't kiss him again, no matter how much he pleaded, that he knew. Shaun was Spot Conlon's now and he knew that. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

"You're the best friend I could ever have," she whispered. "I love you." He stood touching the place where her lips once were staring at the empty space in front of him. Shaun Bennett was gone.

* * *

Her steps were crisp and precise as she moved along the sidewalk. At first glance she was a determined woman, one of wealth, simply taking a walk, but inside she was nervous. Shaun knew she'd finish what she started there was no doubt in her mind, or her heart.

However her fingers were gripping her skirts adamantly as she attempted to catch her breath. Everything that had played out in her mind was happening, at this very moment. While she made her way to the financial district where Joel's office was located, her parents were already waiting under the impression Joel was offering them an out. Smiling she felt her heart flutter at the joy she would feel pulling the trigger of the gun she now carried.

It wasn't long until she stood in front of the large building, the brick walls reaching toward the night sky. She wished she could see the stars. Closing her eyes she thought briefly of Spot wondering if he would do as she asked. Hoping he would be there. Gritting her teeth she grasped the brass handles and entered the skyscraper.

Inside the marble floors were perfectly polished and all she could smell was leather and cigars. Quickly she climbed the stairs until she reached the glass doors etched in gold Joel's company name. Once inside the office she greeted the few gentlemen she requested Joel station there. She wanted them to hear the murder; it was all part of the plan. Smiling she curtseyed receiving embarrassed bows in return.

"I appreciate your willingness to be here this evening, I suspect you all had something much better to do." She stated sweetly.

"Oh, of course not ma'am."

"Joel should be along shortly, if you don't mind, I think I'll go in." The gentlemen nodded and opened the door for her. Slowly she stepped into the large conference room and smiled at Beth and James Kenneth. Her mother's eyes narrowed significantly as she studied Shaun.

"I'm surprised you have the gull to come here." Beth seethed watching her daughter smile cheerfully.

"Out of jail so soon mother?"

"So help me…" she trailed off as James rested his hand on her arm.

"Where's your husband?" he inquired smiling just as cheerfully.

"Oh, you won't be seeing him." Shaun turned and locked the doors before placing her bag on the table.

"Excuse me?" James asked his smile fading.

"I think you heard me. He won't be coming." She repeated pulling the legal agreement from her purse. "The impression you were under is actually wrong. This meeting was called for my purposes only."

"And what purposes could you possibly have?" James snapped eyeing the documents suspiciously.

"Oh James, I'm sure you've noticed I don't harbor any feelings towards you and mother. And I'm sure you've figured I have Joel wrapped around my finger. He'll do whatever I tell him."

"And you're telling me this because?" he crossed his arms defensively.

"I told him to buy your company, I told him to drain you financially. Simple as that." She sat in a plush chair across from them and smirked. James's eyes matched her mother's as he eyed her with disdain. "And now, you'll do as I say." James burst into laughter as he leaned back in his chair. His sudden mirth was infectious as Beth joined in.

"Do as you say?" Beth spat, "What makes you think that?" Shaun turned the papers and slid them across the table toward her parents.

"Sign those."

"What are they?" James asked still amused from her previous comment.

"It releases custody of Matthew to Joel, making him his legal guardian, and leaving you with no rights over him whatsoever." James snorted before flinging them back toward Shaun.

"Forget it. Matthew is my biological son. What makes you think I'd sign him over to you?"

"You're not signing him over to me, James, you're signing him over to Joel."

"Stop calling me James. I'm your father!" he yelled slamming his fists on the table. "When did you get so haughty? Just because you're married to a Bennett does not make you someone Shaun, you are still just as worthless as you were before." It was her turn to laugh as she stood.

"Actually _father_," she emphasized the endearment, "I'm worth so much more than you think."

"Shaun stop playing and get Joel, I'm tired." Beth droned yawning as if she were bored.

"Did you both think I wouldn't find out?" she asked her voice calm and deadly.

"Find out what?" James snapped.

"That you sold me to William Manchester?" Suddenly her parents were silent. They had been caught. "Well?" she pressed turning to face them, but this time she held the gun. Her mother gasped throwing back the chair as she stood.

"What are you doing!" she yelled eyeing the weapon wearily. James was on his feet as well his hands held up in defense.

"Shaun," he started.

"Answer my question." She repeated slowly. James swallowed as he watched the gun carefully.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He answered. Shaun clenched her teeth as she stared at them.

"You're pathetic." She whispered grabbing the documents and pushing them towards him once more. "Sign."

"Just do it James." Beth urged her eyes no longer filled with hatred or confidence. For the first time Beth's expression was one of fear. Shaun loved watching her mother squirm underneath her gaze as James tentatively picked up the pen.

"What do you get out of this?" he asked pausing.

"Unlike you, I love my brother. I want the best for him. Matthew was the only person in your household that loved me. And I'll do anything to ensure he gets everything he deserves. Sign." Shaun demanded pointing the gun at the document for emphasis. Quickly James printed his signature on every page before shoving them at her.

"Done, now let us go." He demanded crossing his arms once more. Beth held onto his forearm hiding behind him. _What a coward_ Shaun thought as she placed the papers far from them.

"That's not my intention, father." She responded.

"What?" her mother gasped.

"I want answers. I want the truth." She faced them once more. "Did you think I wouldn't find out you sold me to Manchester?"

"Who said anything about selling you?!" Beth screeched her eyes still encased in fear. Rolling her eyes Shaun produced the paper she had taken from Manchester's Leger Smoothing out the wrinkles she placed it in the middle of the table cocking an eye brow as she studied her parents.

Carefully James reached forward, his eyes watching the gun before snatching the document towards him. His eyes scanned it before shakily passing it to Beth. She raised her chin in defiance once she had finished reading and crumpled it. "So what?" she spat. Shaun smirked shaking her head a fraction of an inch as she tapped the gun against side.

"Even when I provide proof, still you have nothing to say."

"What is it you want to hear Shaun?" James interjected snatching the ball of paper and chucking it across the room. "You already know how we feel! We hate you! I hate you! Every single part of you! You're an abomination, a bastard, a child that shouldn't have been born! And every day I had to watch you prance around watching those expressions on your face turn into his." This was the first time Shaun had heard James express any kind of sincere emotion apart from beating her. She flashed a smile out of respect.

"Please, continue," she gestured graciously.

"Did you think I could love the child that is another's?"

"I don't know, James, I don't know what I thought. Apparently I thought you'd be a decent human being and refrain from beating the living day lights out of me. Opps," she clenched her teeth to stop the prickle of tears. "My mistake."

"You don't understand what you're talking about Shaun." He whispered his tone vehement.

"Then tell me! Explain! I've only lived half my life in the torment of punches and broken ribs! How about now, let's talk it about now!" she was waiting for the men Joel had paid to knock on the door, but it was silent. Maybe he had made his own part of the plan. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts she focused on her parents once more.

"Your father was a bad man," Beth began stepping out from behind James. "He forced me…"

"Forced you?!" Shaun screamed. "Forced you to what?! As far as I'm concerned he was in love with you. He wanted to marry you, he was supposed to. But you, you couldn't stand being a poor Irish immigrant for the rest of your life. So why not fuck the publisher's son and gain prosperity." Beth gasped at her vulgar language.

"How do you…"

"I saw him mother, I talked to him. I know Shaun! I know my name sake! And he is not a bad man! No more of your lies! Why did you sell me?!" the tears were seeping into her skin as her parents blurred. "I'm your daughter, why do you hate me?!"

"Don't tell her anything Beth. Let's just get out of here."

"Don't move James or I swear to God I will shoot you dead."

"Go ahead," he laughed extending his arms. "You're bluffing! You have your papers! Now we're leaving." He grabbed Beth's arms and moved to leave. Gritting her jaw Shaun took aim and pulled the trigger. The bullet landed squarely between his eyes. Those hate filled orbs rolled up towards the sky as the blood trickled down his nose. With a resonating thud he hit the ground face forward. Beth shrieked jumping back her eyes wide with horror. Laughter bubbled up Shaun's throat as she watched her mother crumple to her knees. The banging began on the conference room doors.

"You…monster." Beth whispered as she reached her shaking hands toward James's dead body.

"Answer my question mother." Shaun whispered sweeping around the table to stand before her. Slowly she kneeled on the other side of her step father and caught Beth's terrified gaze. "Answer."

"I hate you."

"Tell me something I don't know." Shaun breathed.

"And I hate myself for hating you." She stared at her as Beth took a shuddering breath. "I honestly did fall in love with James." She smiled weakly as she rested her gloved hand on his back. "He was charming, and clever, and someone that didn't see my future set in stone. My parents wanted so much from me. But I didn't come to America to be an Irish house wife."

"Get to the point." Shaun snapped. She wished it didn't have to be under the barrel of a gun her mother would finally be honest, but it had to be. This was why Shaun could never love her either.

"When you were born I tried, I tried so hard to love you, to hide the fact you were Shaun's child. But I couldn't! I hated myself for leaving him! I hated myself for the expression on my mother's face as she watched me leave. She hated me. For the first time my mother was ashamed of me! I married a rich man with everything to offer us, and she refused! I didn't want to be poor! I didn't want to die at 35 and never live life! I am so much more than an Irish immigrant, Shaun, I am so much more than a poor factory girl."

She sobbed as she clasped her hands in James's suit jacket. "James saw that. He knew. Our first few years of married life was my happily ever after. And then you grew up, and you started to look like him. You were O'Connell through and through. There was no doubting it."

"Open this door!" they both turned to the pounding. "Open this door now Mrs. Bennett! Or we will force our way in!"

"Hurry up!" Shaun snapped. Beth took a deep breath as she regained her thoughts.

"He began to hate me, refuse to talk to me; it was a miracle that Matthew was born since he refused to touch me. Soon enough I was nothing but a nameless ornament. Strung on his arm at parties, and collecting him from lost poker games. We lost our money, and you, you kept smiling, kept growing." She grabbed Shaun's collar catching her by surprise. "You were everything I wanted to be!" she screamed catching her off guard.

"What?" she gasped.

"You're beautiful and perfect, kind, loving, smart, with so much I could never give. I hate you for being better than me, I hate you for being the best thing I've ever made, I hate you for reminding me of the person that I am, and I hate you for being the best part of me."

Shaun's hands shook as she shoved her away and stood. Beth smirked as she stood as well wiping the tears from under her eyes. The crimson of the blood was striking on her pale face. "The truth hurts, Shaun."

"If it makes you feel better, I hate everything about you."

"I figured. Since I answered your question answer mine."

"What could you possibly ask me?" They jumped at the sound of someone throwing themselves against the door. The muffled sound of voices alerted Shaun to how close the time was. Her mother should be dead by now, and she should be running.

"Why are you killing me? Why did you kill him?" she pointed to James.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"You married the richest man in the city, you have Matthew, you've gotten your happily ever after. Now you'll probably be sentenced to death for our murder. Why throw it all away?"

"I was sentenced to death when you sent me to Manchester." Beth laughed tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yes, you might have been."

"You knew?" Shaun gasped gripping her gun.

"I knew."

"And you didn't stop him?!"

"No."

"Why?! And you call me a monster?!"

"Because I was punishing myself."

"I don't understand."

"The worst pain I ever felt was when I thought you were dead."

"Shut up!" Shaun screamed, "Shut up you liar!"

"No, Shaun, I may hate you, but you'll always be my daughter."

"Shut up, shut up!" she stepped back resting her back against the wall. "You want to know why I'm killing you! Because you don't deserve life! You signed your death sentence when you sent me to die! I saw people, mother, innocent people dying by the hands of a true monster. A man who cared nothing for life! He murdered people, he murdered my friend, he almost killed the love of my life! And what did I see when he made me play God? Made me pick who lives and dies? I saw acceptance of how unfair things were in the eyes of people so much more deserving than you!"

She lunged forward grabbing her mother's dress and yanking her toward her face. "I knew after I saw how you sold me to hell's incarnate what I had to do. I knew when I saw how sick Mattie was you'd never change. You deserve life just as much as Manchester did. And guess what? He's dead."

"Is that so?" she whispered.

"That's so Mother. You are worthless; you are the worst person I know. And as far as my fairy tale goes? It's waiting for me at Brooklyn Bridge."

"So I take it you don't love Joel?" she laughed bitterly as Shaun shoved her away. "Aren't you and I just the same, Shaun?" she inquired. "Hurting those we love?"

"The difference between you and me is," Shaun lifted the gun and cocked it. "I've always been honest with myself."

And she pulled the trigger.

Her mother's body fell at her feet, lifeless and silent forever. The doors behind her burst open to reveal the police force. They stood in disbelief at the massacre in front of them. Shaun spun and rested her eyes on Joel's. His showed no surprise as he nodded for her to continue. Dropping the gun she surged forward shoving them aside.

"Mr. Bennett!" the sheriff called clasping him on the shoulder. "Mr. Bennett, did Shaun do this?" Slowly Joel turned to stare at the bodies of his in laws.

"This is my fault." He gasped raising his hand to his mouth.

"Sir?"

"The maids told me she was crazy, they told me she was losing her mind, but I, I thought she was just coming to get custody of Matthew Kenneth." Carefully he entered the conference room and found the document by her purse. "If I had known then I wouldn't have had these drawn up." He sunk to his knees grasping his head. "Find her!" he screamed. "She's my wife, she needs help! Find her!"

"Where should we look sir? She'll be anywhere!"

"I don't know, I…" he trailed off staring at the legal documents. "Brooklyn."

* * *

Shaun could barely breathe as she dashed through Manhattan. Thankfully the financial district was near the bridge. Huffing as she reached the beginning she swore not to stop until she was just a few ways across. Not too close to Manhattan but nowhere near the middle. This was where Spot was supposed to meet her. Once she reached the lamp post she stopped catching her breath. Spot was nowhere to be found. Biting her lip she spun around her heart racing.

"Please." She whispered checking behind her. Joel was to send the police after her, they would be here soon. "Spot." She raised her face to the sky and pleaded. As if she deserved him.

"Fancy running into you here." She jumped at the sound of his voice and turned slowly. "Didn't we already talk about suicide Bridge Girl?" he ran his hand along the railing as he moved closer. "Anywhere but here, remember?"

"Who said anything about suicide?" she whispered watching him in disbelief. He came. The love of her life came.

"Mm," he smirked. "You don't have a good track record."

"How would you know?" he paused before her his blue eyes boring into hers.

"I think we met here once before." He breathed.

"Spot, I wish I had enough time to explain everything to you, but I don't." she glanced over her shoulder for good measure.

"When have we ever had enough time?" he asked following her gaze. "Who you waiting for, your husband?" his tone was bitter.

"I don't love him, I've never loved him. Not like that." She turned back reaching for his hands. He did not pull away.

"I'm about to make my final decision Spot, and the only person I need with me is you. You have no idea how much pain I was in. How much I love you. Without you I'm empty, nothing, worthless, lost, broken, tainted, but with you, with you I'm…"

She took a deep breath searching his eyes. "Perfect. Whole. Everything."

His breath caught as he studied her face, saw the sincerity in every line. "There's nothing I can do to rewind what I did, nothing I can do to fix the pain I caused, but all I ask you," she stopped at the piercing sound of sirens. They both looked towards the faint glow as the police caught up with her.

"Shaun, what did you do?" he asked eyeing her suspiciously.

"Time, Spot, time." She whispered, "All I ask of you is to trust me, to let me possibly, if we're lucky, have a lifetime for me to make it up to you. Please."

He stared at her clenching and unclenching his jaw. Begrudgingly she released his hands as she backed towards the railing. "I can't stay here, not anymore." He watched in shock as she began to climb onto the railing. "Trust me, Spot, trust me and come with me." She turned facing him as she held onto the lamp post.

"You expect me to jump off this bridge with you?"

"You won't have to worry about clean up."

"Not funny." The sirens were closer, they could see the vehicles.

"We may survive, if you trust me, if you follow my lead. I've planned this out Spot." The last tears she may ever cry fell onto her outstretched hand. "I love you Spot Conlon, forever and always. I am no longer Shaun Kenneth, no longer Shaun Bennett, I gave it all up. The only person I am now is Shaun, your Shaun."

Laughing he lunged forward grabbing her hand and tugging her into his arms. His lips met hers in a sigh of contentment as he spun her around. When they broke apart she smiled as his own tears mingled with hers.

"I love you too." He pulled her with him as he started to climb. "I'll follow you anywhere Shaun, even if it means jumping off this bridge." He turned and helped her up beside him. "If we survive you owe me one hell of an explanation." She laughed freely, loudly, drowning out the sheriff as he jumped from his carriage.

"Can you hold your breath for a long time?"

"I think you know the answer." He winked suggestively.

"Mrs. Bennett don't jump, wait!"

"Follow my lead." she breathed.

"With my life." He kissed her cheek as he tangled his fingers with hers. "I love you, always and forever." he responded as he inhaled her scent.

"One." She sobbed squeezing his hand as the breeze blew her unruly hair across her face.

"Two." He stated calmly running his thumb along the back of her hand.

"Three…"

THE END

**A/N: Wow...I can't even explain how I feel right now. I guess I can't believe it's over! I will honestly say I'll miss Shaun and Spot, and the newsboys. They'll always have a special place in my heart. **

**I'm leaving their fate and everything else left unexplained to your guys's imaginations! I hope you enjoyed my songs, and this story. I appreciate every single review I've gotten, and for everyone who read and supported this story. It really means a lot. So if you could all review one more time and let me know what you think I'd appreciate it! **

**Truly, **

**~Morbidlyartistic **


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